1 00:00:04,465 --> 00:00:06,186 Late every day this week. 2 00:00:06,321 --> 00:00:07,609 We signed Ceecee for the staycare, 3 00:00:07,698 --> 00:00:08,992 it's on the other side of town. 4 00:00:09,088 --> 00:00:10,009 The traffic... 5 00:00:10,122 --> 00:00:11,420 - Why didn't I think of this before? 6 00:00:11,541 --> 00:00:12,908 Did you know that there is a daycare center 7 00:00:12,975 --> 00:00:15,343 Opening right here in this building? 8 00:00:15,411 --> 00:00:16,477 - Is there really? 9 00:00:16,545 --> 00:00:17,678 - Now that I own the building, 10 00:00:17,746 --> 00:00:19,448 I'm looking for new sources of revenue. 11 00:00:19,515 --> 00:00:22,135 And a daycare center? 12 00:00:27,046 --> 00:00:28,252 Well, I guess it's not an evil idea, 13 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,630 It's just a regular idea, but there's no 14 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:33,849 Good laugh for a regular idea. 15 00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:36,126 Welcome to the sesame Avenue daycare center 16 00:00:36,194 --> 00:00:38,100 For infants and toddlers. 17 00:00:42,183 --> 00:00:43,719 - You remember my cousin Mose? 18 00:00:43,787 --> 00:00:45,126 - Welcome, children. 19 00:00:45,193 --> 00:00:46,496 - Were you painting in the dark? 20 00:00:46,564 --> 00:00:48,974 - Wait, is this your place, Dwight? 21 00:00:49,042 --> 00:00:51,546 - Oh, no, no, I like to think of it as the kids' place. 22 00:00:51,614 --> 00:00:52,582 Would you like a tour? 23 00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:53,786 - I don't think we really need... 24 00:00:53,856 --> 00:00:55,292 - Oh, let's take the tour, Pam. 25 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,432 - Yeah. - Come on. 26 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,568 Here is the language skills 27 00:00:58,635 --> 00:01:01,175 And cognitive development area. 28 00:01:01,242 --> 00:01:03,513 These are English, uh, letters. 29 00:01:03,581 --> 00:01:05,818 I see you found our magical toy box, Jim. 30 00:01:05,888 --> 00:01:07,992 - These are actually forks and knives from the break room. 31 00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:10,900 - Jim, to you and me, maybe. But, come on. 32 00:01:10,968 --> 00:01:13,372 To a child's imagination that's mister fork, 33 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,143 And lieutenant knife, and miss fork. 34 00:01:15,211 --> 00:01:17,015 - And a soy sauce packet. 35 00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:21,088 That shouldn't have been in there. 36 00:01:21,156 --> 00:01:22,088 I'm embarrassed. 37 00:01:22,156 --> 00:01:23,322 - Don't beat yourself up. 38 00:01:23,389 --> 00:01:25,791 - We come fully equipped with a restroom, 39 00:01:25,858 --> 00:01:28,561 Feeding trough, play bucket, 40 00:01:28,629 --> 00:01:30,263 And room for a plant, in success. 41 00:01:30,331 --> 00:01:31,499 - Who will be watching the children? 42 00:01:31,566 --> 00:01:32,634 - No one. The door locks from the outside. 43 00:01:32,702 --> 00:01:34,070 Escape is impossible. 44 00:01:34,138 --> 00:01:36,007 - Prove it. 45 00:01:36,075 --> 00:01:37,809 - What...No. - We're gonna head outside. 46 00:01:37,877 --> 00:01:38,811 Just give it a whirl. 47 00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:40,581 I just wanna see how it works. 48 00:01:40,649 --> 00:01:41,750 - Oh, no, no, no... I... - but I'll tell you this. 49 00:01:41,817 --> 00:01:43,253 If this works out, 50 00:01:43,321 --> 00:01:45,022 I think we're looking real good. 51 00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:47,460 - I promise you, that door locks. 52 00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:59,816 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 53 00:02:26,056 --> 00:02:27,023 - What's something you did that... 54 00:02:27,091 --> 00:02:28,258 - This is the worst! 55 00:02:28,326 --> 00:02:30,728 You are the worst. I hate looking at your face. 56 00:02:30,796 --> 00:02:32,098 I wanna smash it! 57 00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:33,099 Okay, you know what? 58 00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:34,368 I made a mistake. 59 00:02:34,436 --> 00:02:36,037 I committed corporate punishment. 60 00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:37,806 My bad. 61 00:02:37,873 --> 00:02:41,144 It's over, it's done. 62 00:02:41,212 --> 00:02:44,379 But, my punishment is, um, 63 00:02:44,447 --> 00:02:46,983 Worse than hell. 64 00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:49,619 - Michael's been assigned six hours of mandatory counseling 65 00:02:49,687 --> 00:02:50,821 With a trained professional. 66 00:02:50,889 --> 00:02:53,291 I actually have a degree in social work. 67 00:02:53,359 --> 00:02:54,426 I mean, I know a lot of people 68 00:02:54,494 --> 00:02:56,663 Would just ask a few standard questions 69 00:02:56,731 --> 00:02:58,699 And tick off a few boxes, 70 00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:01,468 But I've got a chance to do some good here. 71 00:03:01,536 --> 00:03:04,505 - I know what you wanna ask me. 72 00:03:04,573 --> 00:03:06,007 "did your mom ever see you naked?" 73 00:03:06,075 --> 00:03:08,343 - We can do this with more privacy. 74 00:03:08,411 --> 00:03:09,912 - So you can molest me? 75 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:11,681 Oh, okay. I don't think so. 76 00:03:11,749 --> 00:03:13,451 We're gonna leave the blinds open, 77 00:03:13,518 --> 00:03:14,619 So everybody can see 78 00:03:14,686 --> 00:03:17,289 What a big failure you are. 79 00:03:20,128 --> 00:03:21,662 That's the key. 80 00:03:23,165 --> 00:03:25,500 - Boycott the steamtown mall! 81 00:03:25,568 --> 00:03:26,901 Everyone, you heard me. 82 00:03:26,969 --> 00:03:29,938 Cancel all your business with the steamtown mall! 83 00:03:30,005 --> 00:03:32,172 - The mall itself, or the stores in the mall? 84 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,207 - All of it! 85 00:03:33,275 --> 00:03:34,408 The mall, the stores, the kiosks. 86 00:03:34,476 --> 00:03:35,978 - America's one big mall. 87 00:03:36,045 --> 00:03:37,079 - Did something happen, Dwight? 88 00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:39,282 - Yeah, something happened. Oh, yeah. 89 00:03:39,350 --> 00:03:40,750 Something happened, Jim. 90 00:03:40,818 --> 00:03:41,918 - Well, tell us what it is. 91 00:03:41,986 --> 00:03:43,754 I mean, it might help to get some context 92 00:03:43,822 --> 00:03:44,922 So we can get on board. 93 00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:47,458 - You don't wanna know. 94 00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:49,060 - I'd like you to imagine a place 95 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:50,729 Where you feel very peaceful. 96 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:54,133 For me, it's the walk from the yogurt shop 97 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:55,268 To my car, after I drop 98 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:58,806 My daughter off on Sunday afternoons. 99 00:04:02,078 --> 00:04:04,580 - I... I'm glad Michael's getting help. 100 00:04:04,648 --> 00:04:07,317 He has a lot of issues, and he's stupid. 101 00:04:07,385 --> 00:04:08,886 - Look, I'm not gonna tell you 102 00:04:08,954 --> 00:04:12,489 That we have lower prices. 103 00:04:12,557 --> 00:04:16,460 Is price something that is important to you? 104 00:04:16,527 --> 00:04:19,861 Okay, well, let me know if anything changes. 105 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,899 - Pam? 106 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,800 - I can't do this. 107 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:33,100 I don't have this sales gene or whatever it is. 108 00:04:33,168 --> 00:04:34,902 Tell me everything's gonna be okay. 109 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:38,271 - Everything's gonna be okay. 110 00:04:38,339 --> 00:04:40,573 - Tell me I'm good at sales. 111 00:04:40,641 --> 00:04:44,143 - You're good... you're good at sales. 112 00:04:44,211 --> 00:04:45,845 - The unfair thing about working in sales 113 00:04:45,912 --> 00:04:48,446 Is that your salary is almost all commission. 114 00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:49,714 So if you suck at sales, 115 00:04:49,782 --> 00:04:53,684 You make almost no money. 116 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,654 I guess that's fair. 117 00:04:57,722 --> 00:04:59,789 - Dwight. - What? 118 00:04:59,857 --> 00:05:03,093 - Did you call all my clients at the mall 119 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,295 And cancel all my business 120 00:05:06,363 --> 00:05:08,964 While using the "f" word? 121 00:05:09,032 --> 00:05:10,365 - Yes, I did. 122 00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:13,201 And I'm gonna do the same with all of your clients. 123 00:05:13,268 --> 00:05:14,602 - No, you will not. 124 00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:17,404 - Oh, yes, I will. That mall is corrupt. 125 00:05:17,471 --> 00:05:18,972 Okay, they're appearancist! 126 00:05:19,039 --> 00:05:20,940 - Okay, Dwight, we can't do that. 127 00:05:21,008 --> 00:05:22,709 So why don't you just tell us what happened? 128 00:05:22,777 --> 00:05:23,877 - Yeah. What happened, Dwight? 129 00:05:23,945 --> 00:05:26,446 - Okay? 130 00:05:28,049 --> 00:05:30,851 - You guys know me, you know that I'm... 131 00:05:30,919 --> 00:05:32,519 Not one for fancy things. 132 00:05:32,587 --> 00:05:33,620 But there was this one thing. 133 00:05:33,687 --> 00:05:35,654 It was in a fancy store, 134 00:05:35,722 --> 00:05:36,888 And it caught the corner of my eye 135 00:05:36,956 --> 00:05:39,424 When I took Mose down to the mall 136 00:05:39,492 --> 00:05:41,326 To get his blood pressure at the rite aid. 137 00:05:41,394 --> 00:05:42,828 And I thought, you know, 138 00:05:42,895 --> 00:05:44,563 Maybe I deserve this. 139 00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:47,232 You know, I had a great crop yield this fall. 140 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:48,700 - So what happened? 141 00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:50,335 - I went to the store and I pressed the buzzer, 142 00:05:50,402 --> 00:05:53,403 And they looked right at me, and then they looked away. 143 00:05:53,471 --> 00:05:54,937 And then I pressed the buzzer again, 144 00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:57,672 And they started taking pictures of me 145 00:05:57,739 --> 00:05:59,806 With their mobile phones. 146 00:05:59,874 --> 00:06:03,141 I guess I'm not the kind of guy that's good enough 147 00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:04,741 For precious heirlooms. 148 00:06:04,809 --> 00:06:05,842 - You know what, Dwight? 149 00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:07,242 You need to go back there, and you need to 150 00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:08,811 Pretty woman their asses. 151 00:06:08,878 --> 00:06:09,978 - We should start our own mall. 152 00:06:10,046 --> 00:06:11,046 - Yeah! 153 00:06:11,113 --> 00:06:12,213 - Wait, wait, wait. 154 00:06:12,281 --> 00:06:13,281 Actually, that's a really good idea, Kelly. 155 00:06:13,349 --> 00:06:14,682 - What did I say? 156 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,518 I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out. 157 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:18,885 - Dwight, how about this? 158 00:06:18,953 --> 00:06:20,053 Instead of a boycott, 159 00:06:20,121 --> 00:06:23,156 You and I, together, go down to that store 160 00:06:23,223 --> 00:06:25,624 And we teach those snobs a lesson. 161 00:06:25,692 --> 00:06:30,528 - No, you and I...And I. 162 00:06:30,596 --> 00:06:33,530 I'm gonna come with you. - Okay. 163 00:06:33,597 --> 00:06:35,164 - Good. All right. 164 00:06:35,232 --> 00:06:37,199 - Did you assume that I would automatically side 165 00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:41,870 With the rich, snobby shop owner? 166 00:06:41,938 --> 00:06:43,940 How about now? 167 00:06:47,477 --> 00:06:48,977 How about now? 168 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:53,314 How about now? 169 00:06:55,550 --> 00:06:56,883 How about now? 170 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,352 - Uh, what's your favorite flavor of... 171 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,587 - One hour. - What? 172 00:07:00,655 --> 00:07:02,922 - One hour. We've done one hour. 173 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,091 Let's just speed this up. 174 00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:06,593 Okay, keep it moving. 175 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,027 I wanna do all six hours today. 176 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,263 - Okay, I can't count the hour if you don't talk. 177 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,197 - No, no, no...No. 178 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,732 I know my rights, all I had to do 179 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,766 Is sit here for six hours. 180 00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:17,366 Do my time. 181 00:07:17,433 --> 00:07:18,733 - Michael, it's up to me to check off the boxes, 182 00:07:18,801 --> 00:07:20,067 And I can't do that unless I honestly... 183 00:07:20,134 --> 00:07:22,935 - Do you have any idea how angry that is making me? 184 00:07:23,003 --> 00:07:24,571 - Tell me. 185 00:07:24,638 --> 00:07:28,976 I think we might be about to maybe really get somewhere. 186 00:07:29,044 --> 00:07:32,379 - Yes, I will. I will talk all right. 187 00:07:32,447 --> 00:07:34,247 Be careful what you wish for, Toby. 188 00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:39,616 Apparently theres a famous Hollywood movie 189 00:07:39,684 --> 00:07:42,552 From the 1980s... beautiful girl. 190 00:07:42,619 --> 00:07:43,720 - Pretty woman. 191 00:07:43,787 --> 00:07:45,454 - Um, apparently... - Pretty woman. 192 00:07:45,522 --> 00:07:48,523 - It's one of the best revenge stories of all time, 193 00:07:48,591 --> 00:07:53,161 In which this sex worker, who is the protagonist... 194 00:07:53,229 --> 00:07:54,295 That can't be right. 195 00:07:54,363 --> 00:07:55,530 Andy, how does it... - no, no, no. 196 00:07:55,597 --> 00:07:56,731 - What? - I wanna hear you tell it. 197 00:07:56,798 --> 00:08:00,034 - Okay, um, the sex worker is denied service 198 00:08:00,102 --> 00:08:02,704 At a fancy store because she does not look wealthy. 199 00:08:02,771 --> 00:08:05,440 She later returns, dressed in all the trappings 200 00:08:05,508 --> 00:08:07,776 Of extravagant wealth, but instead of shopping... 201 00:08:07,843 --> 00:08:09,311 - Julia Roberts goes in the store, and she's like, 202 00:08:09,378 --> 00:08:10,912 "I was in here yesterday, and you people wouldn't help me." 203 00:08:10,980 --> 00:08:12,713 And the shopgirl goes, "oh." 204 00:08:12,781 --> 00:08:14,615 And then Julia Roberts goes, 205 00:08:14,683 --> 00:08:15,917 "you girls work on commission, right?" 206 00:08:15,984 --> 00:08:17,485 And the girl's like, "yeah." 207 00:08:17,553 --> 00:08:18,519 And Julia Roberts goes... 208 00:08:18,587 --> 00:08:22,155 - "big mistake. Huge." 209 00:08:22,223 --> 00:08:24,123 - I was telling... I was telling that. 210 00:08:24,191 --> 00:08:27,093 - How many paper supplies and ink cartridges to go with that? 211 00:08:27,161 --> 00:08:29,259 Okay, sure. 212 00:08:29,327 --> 00:08:30,326 - Who can I speak to in this office 213 00:08:30,394 --> 00:08:32,327 About saving on window treatments? 214 00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:33,628 - I don't know. 215 00:08:33,696 --> 00:08:36,297 - Is one of you the office administrator? 216 00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:42,303 - I. 217 00:08:42,371 --> 00:08:44,173 I'm the office administrator! 218 00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:45,708 - Can I show you a few samples? 219 00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,375 - Uh, we're not interested. 220 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,409 We're not interested at all. 221 00:08:52,611 --> 00:08:54,177 There are a few ways to get promoted. 222 00:08:54,245 --> 00:08:57,481 One is to wait for an opening and apply for it. 223 00:08:57,548 --> 00:08:59,750 That's the main way. 224 00:08:59,817 --> 00:09:01,284 But this could work. 225 00:09:01,352 --> 00:09:03,386 - Toby, can I really tell you anything? 226 00:09:03,454 --> 00:09:04,821 - Of course. 227 00:09:04,888 --> 00:09:06,422 - Well, the other night, 228 00:09:06,490 --> 00:09:08,290 When I was sitting at the table, 229 00:09:08,358 --> 00:09:13,261 Eating my penis... I mean peas. 230 00:09:13,328 --> 00:09:14,596 That was weird. 231 00:09:14,663 --> 00:09:15,897 - All right. - That's weird. 232 00:09:15,965 --> 00:09:17,332 I think it all stems 233 00:09:17,399 --> 00:09:19,567 From the fact that I was... 234 00:09:21,402 --> 00:09:23,870 I was probed. 235 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,271 By an alien life force. 236 00:09:25,339 --> 00:09:28,206 An a.L.F. 237 00:09:28,274 --> 00:09:29,675 Alf. 238 00:09:29,742 --> 00:09:31,576 You know, I might have actually 239 00:09:31,644 --> 00:09:34,414 Been probed by Alf. 240 00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:36,183 You might think he's a puppet, 241 00:09:36,251 --> 00:09:38,217 You never see the lower half, 242 00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:39,551 But there's a lower half. 243 00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:41,619 - Office administrator. 244 00:09:41,687 --> 00:09:44,022 So when did this happen? 245 00:09:44,089 --> 00:09:45,256 - A few months ago. 246 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:48,058 I was talking to someone at corporate. 247 00:09:48,126 --> 00:09:49,492 - Mm-hmm. - Who isn't there anymore. 248 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,628 And I think the paperwork just got lost in the shuffle. 249 00:09:52,696 --> 00:09:54,163 Can you believe that? 250 00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:55,964 - Typical...Yeah, totally. Well, congrats. 251 00:09:56,032 --> 00:09:57,499 - Thanks, yeah. 252 00:09:57,567 --> 00:09:59,968 So I'm... I'm just gonna take care of stuff around the office 253 00:10:00,035 --> 00:10:01,335 And get paid a reasonable salary. 254 00:10:01,403 --> 00:10:03,370 We need that, right? - Totally, that's great. 255 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,905 - I get paid $40,000 a year. - Great. 256 00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,573 - Maybe $50,000. - $50,000! 257 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,074 - No, not $50,000. 258 00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:11,842 $41,000, I think. 259 00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:13,577 - $41,000. - $41,500. 260 00:10:13,645 --> 00:10:15,979 - That's great. 261 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,722 - Before me stands your coworker, 262 00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:24,324 Dwight Kurt Schrute. 263 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,925 Dwight, show them all sides, turn around. 264 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:29,160 Now, today we need your help turning Dwight into a gentleman. 265 00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:32,429 - A gentleman, who is a rich snob. 266 00:10:32,496 --> 00:10:33,763 Who will go into shopping malls 267 00:10:33,831 --> 00:10:36,900 And drop huge amounts of cash on clothes. 268 00:10:36,968 --> 00:10:38,267 - Is he still doing his boycott? 269 00:10:38,335 --> 00:10:40,835 - No, no, this is instead of the boycott. Yeah. 270 00:10:40,903 --> 00:10:43,839 - Your shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo. 271 00:10:43,906 --> 00:10:45,373 - Agreed. - Really? 272 00:10:45,441 --> 00:10:47,074 - Maybe something not so monochromatic. 273 00:10:47,142 --> 00:10:48,409 Not so matching. 274 00:10:48,477 --> 00:10:51,110 - Wait, less matching to appear more rich? 275 00:10:51,178 --> 00:10:55,313 - The glasses are a little... 276 00:10:55,381 --> 00:10:56,981 - I liked them. 277 00:10:57,048 --> 00:10:59,016 - I thought they were kind of cute. 278 00:10:59,083 --> 00:11:02,754 - Yeah, I liked them too. - I can't see. 279 00:11:02,821 --> 00:11:04,421 - Say stuff like, "good morning, good afternoon." 280 00:11:04,488 --> 00:11:05,821 People appreciate that. 281 00:11:05,889 --> 00:11:08,758 - Wait, I see you every day. Can I say, "good month?" 282 00:11:08,825 --> 00:11:10,960 - I'm telling you how to do this, man. 283 00:11:11,027 --> 00:11:12,361 - If someone offers you a cocktail, 284 00:11:12,429 --> 00:11:14,729 Accept, but keep your wits about you. 285 00:11:14,797 --> 00:11:15,796 - Okay. 286 00:11:15,864 --> 00:11:17,564 - Please and thank you go a long way. 287 00:11:17,632 --> 00:11:20,934 - Copy. Thank you. 288 00:11:21,002 --> 00:11:22,736 - Thank you. 289 00:11:22,804 --> 00:11:24,538 - Please. 290 00:11:24,606 --> 00:11:26,940 I think he's got it. 291 00:11:27,008 --> 00:11:30,009 - And I was raised by wolves. 292 00:11:30,077 --> 00:11:33,277 I was 25 years old before I saw my first human being. 293 00:11:33,345 --> 00:11:36,547 Wait, is it a full moon tonight? 294 00:11:41,619 --> 00:11:44,387 - Come on, Michael. These are all fake stories. 295 00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:47,658 - Yes, yes, they are all fake stories. 296 00:11:47,725 --> 00:11:48,825 What sort of twisted mind 297 00:11:48,893 --> 00:11:51,327 Would come up with weird stories like that? 298 00:11:51,395 --> 00:11:53,629 Three hours, we're halfway done. 299 00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:55,698 - How? 300 00:12:01,802 --> 00:12:04,136 - Hey, do you have a second? 301 00:12:04,204 --> 00:12:06,137 - Yeah. - Well, as I'm sure you know, 302 00:12:06,205 --> 00:12:07,238 For the past few months, 303 00:12:07,305 --> 00:12:08,372 I've been the office administrator, 304 00:12:08,439 --> 00:12:10,607 Since right before you guys took over. 305 00:12:10,675 --> 00:12:11,908 - Right, of course. 306 00:12:11,976 --> 00:12:13,609 - And I haven't goen paid yet. 307 00:12:13,677 --> 00:12:14,710 I'm not blaming you. 308 00:12:14,778 --> 00:12:17,879 - Thank you so much. 309 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,580 - I just think somebody lost the paperwork. 310 00:12:19,648 --> 00:12:21,449 - Oh, boy. 311 00:12:21,516 --> 00:12:23,050 Can you get every department head's signature on this, 312 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,885 So I can back this up to corporate? 313 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,954 - Yes, absolutely, right away. 314 00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:30,593 - You know what, Michael? 315 00:12:30,661 --> 00:12:31,894 You're right. You win. 316 00:12:31,962 --> 00:12:34,029 This is pointless. We're not getting anywhere. 317 00:12:34,096 --> 00:12:36,631 I got a bunch of fun stuff, 318 00:12:36,698 --> 00:12:38,699 In case my daughter ever comes over. 319 00:12:38,766 --> 00:12:40,800 Why don't we just run out the clock 320 00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:45,037 By playing games, drawing some pictures, talking? 321 00:12:52,315 --> 00:12:53,715 - We present to you, for your final comments 322 00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:56,852 And approval, Dwight k. Schrute. 323 00:12:59,288 --> 00:13:00,422 - Go get 'em, Dwight. 324 00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,124 - Wish us luck. 325 00:13:02,192 --> 00:13:03,558 - Thank you. 326 00:13:03,626 --> 00:13:05,459 - Dwight. 327 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,996 Ooh, all done. 328 00:13:09,064 --> 00:13:11,998 Disposable cameras are fun, although it does seem wasteful 329 00:13:12,066 --> 00:13:14,800 And you don't ever get to see your pictures. 330 00:13:14,867 --> 00:13:17,701 If it's an important event that you want to remember, 331 00:13:17,769 --> 00:13:19,569 I recommend using a real camera. 332 00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:22,372 But I don't care if I forget today. 333 00:13:22,439 --> 00:13:25,274 - We could play something more complicated if you'd like. 334 00:13:25,342 --> 00:13:27,109 - This is plenty complicated. 335 00:13:27,176 --> 00:13:28,610 - So you've played it before? 336 00:13:28,678 --> 00:13:30,812 - I played it once or twice with Jeff. 337 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,413 - Who's Jeff? 338 00:13:32,481 --> 00:13:34,147 - Jeff was my mother's boyfriend, 339 00:13:34,215 --> 00:13:35,215 Who she married. 340 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:38,551 - So her husband and your stepdad. 341 00:13:38,619 --> 00:13:39,919 - Yeah. 342 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,688 Yeah, I guess I never thought of it that way, though. 343 00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,325 - Did you guys do much stuff together? 344 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:47,593 - Yeah, you know what, 345 00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,530 He took me to a baseball game once, I remember. 346 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,598 It was weird, though; They took the pitcher 347 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,299 Out of the game, and I felt really bad 348 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,101 Because the pitcher wasn't going to be able to play 349 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:57,602 With his friends anymore. 350 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,072 But Jeff said that the manager was making a really good move 351 00:14:01,139 --> 00:14:02,539 By taking the pitcher out. 352 00:14:02,607 --> 00:14:06,943 He really respected the manager. 353 00:14:07,011 --> 00:14:09,579 - It's working. 354 00:14:09,647 --> 00:14:11,447 I'm doing it. 355 00:14:11,515 --> 00:14:13,349 - Ahem. 356 00:14:16,519 --> 00:14:18,553 - What? - My place, tonight. 357 00:14:18,621 --> 00:14:20,822 Wear this. - Do you have your card? 358 00:14:20,889 --> 00:14:22,623 - Yes. 359 00:14:22,691 --> 00:14:25,924 - Don't forget the pipe. 360 00:14:25,992 --> 00:14:27,392 - It's really sad that your dog ran away, 361 00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:31,162 But why did it keep you from going to the park? 362 00:14:31,229 --> 00:14:32,630 - I was afraid I would find him 363 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,097 In the park playing with another kid. 364 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:35,632 - Why? 365 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,567 - I guess that's why I thought he ran away in the first place... 366 00:14:37,635 --> 00:14:38,668 To find a kid he liked better. 367 00:14:38,736 --> 00:14:41,037 - Dogs don't do that. - Right? 368 00:14:41,105 --> 00:14:43,306 Why would a dog do that? - I don't know. 369 00:14:43,374 --> 00:14:45,708 - When I hear myself say it, it just sounds ridiculous. 370 00:14:45,776 --> 00:14:48,610 But I never said it out loud, so... 371 00:14:51,547 --> 00:14:52,881 - It's very important for you 372 00:14:52,949 --> 00:14:55,850 To be liked, isn't it? 373 00:14:55,918 --> 00:14:59,019 - Well, let's not get too... 374 00:14:59,087 --> 00:15:01,755 This isn't a counseling session. 375 00:15:04,727 --> 00:15:08,195 Okay. 376 00:15:08,262 --> 00:15:11,330 You son of a gun. 377 00:15:11,398 --> 00:15:13,333 You son of a bitch. 378 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,534 Wow, okay. 379 00:15:14,602 --> 00:15:16,002 - I'm just trying to help you, Michael. 380 00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:18,971 - You bitch, God! - Michael. 381 00:15:19,039 --> 00:15:20,405 - You're very helpful, aren't you? 382 00:15:20,473 --> 00:15:21,906 - I'm trying to... - you try to help everybody. 383 00:15:21,974 --> 00:15:23,674 Do you wanna play another game? 384 00:15:23,742 --> 00:15:24,908 - I just wanna... - you are good. 385 00:15:24,976 --> 00:15:26,376 But you know what? You can't help people. 386 00:15:26,443 --> 00:15:27,577 You couldn't help your marriage. 387 00:15:27,645 --> 00:15:29,145 - Hey. - Lose, you lose. 388 00:15:29,213 --> 00:15:30,246 I don't need your help, 389 00:15:30,314 --> 00:15:31,747 Nobody needs your help. 390 00:15:31,815 --> 00:15:34,883 Nobody wants it! You can't help anybody. 391 00:15:34,951 --> 00:15:36,918 I don't need your help! 392 00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:39,253 Am I gonna make you cry? 393 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,054 - Just fill them out any way you want. 394 00:15:41,122 --> 00:15:43,022 - Okay. 395 00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:44,490 - Have Erin fax them back to corporate. 396 00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:46,058 - Will do. 397 00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:47,459 - Okay, filled out...Good. 398 00:15:47,527 --> 00:15:48,460 Thank you, doctor, take two of these 399 00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:49,928 And call me in the morning. 400 00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:54,701 - Hey, Michael? 401 00:15:54,769 --> 00:15:56,436 Um, about three months ago, 402 00:15:56,504 --> 00:15:58,171 I was talking... 403 00:16:04,378 --> 00:16:06,379 There are a lot of one-person departments here, 404 00:16:06,447 --> 00:16:09,281 So there's a lot of department heads. 405 00:16:09,349 --> 00:16:11,783 But I'm off to a good start. 406 00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:13,685 Oh, man, if I can pull this off, 407 00:16:13,753 --> 00:16:17,555 It will be the scam of all scams. 408 00:16:17,622 --> 00:16:19,556 And yet, very helpful to everyone. 409 00:16:19,624 --> 00:16:22,626 - So corporate got your evaluations, 410 00:16:22,694 --> 00:16:24,060 And they wanted me to double-check... 411 00:16:24,128 --> 00:16:26,729 Is that really how you feel about Michael's situation? 412 00:16:26,796 --> 00:16:28,997 - Yes. 413 00:16:29,065 --> 00:16:31,301 - That is not how he seemed to me. 414 00:16:31,369 --> 00:16:33,002 - I thought he seemed fine. 415 00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:35,738 - You marked "severe" in all the categories, 416 00:16:35,805 --> 00:16:37,606 Including "at risk for homicidal behavior." 417 00:16:41,309 --> 00:16:44,545 - I saw a TLC show on Kate Walsh's home office. 418 00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:45,646 All corkboard. 419 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,414 - We can do that. - Right in here. 420 00:16:47,481 --> 00:16:48,515 - Easily. 421 00:16:48,582 --> 00:16:49,716 - Knock, knock. 422 00:16:49,783 --> 00:16:51,584 Pam? Perfect. 423 00:16:51,652 --> 00:16:53,019 Um, I was hoping to talk to the office administrator 424 00:16:53,087 --> 00:16:55,354 About a little office administration problem. 425 00:16:55,422 --> 00:16:59,324 - But of course. - Great. 426 00:16:59,392 --> 00:17:01,059 The problem, unfortunately, 427 00:17:01,126 --> 00:17:05,196 Is about the office administrator. 428 00:17:05,263 --> 00:17:07,498 I have gone through everything from the past three years. 429 00:17:07,566 --> 00:17:09,333 There is nothing that says 430 00:17:09,401 --> 00:17:10,835 That you're office administrator. 431 00:17:10,902 --> 00:17:13,601 - So weird that there's no paperwork. 432 00:17:13,668 --> 00:17:15,002 - At all. 433 00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:17,871 - Although, like, unlikely things happen 434 00:17:17,939 --> 00:17:19,205 All the time. 435 00:17:19,273 --> 00:17:21,841 My best friend in High School, she went to Australia, 436 00:17:21,909 --> 00:17:23,509 Canberra I think, and she met this guy 437 00:17:23,577 --> 00:17:25,978 Who lived only two streets away from her in America. 438 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,046 - Pam, I don't want to accuse you of anything. 439 00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,781 I just want everything to be back 440 00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:33,684 The way it's supposed to be. 441 00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:35,886 Can you just admit... 442 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,821 Admit... 443 00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:38,955 - Admit what? 444 00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:40,623 - I don't want to say it. 445 00:17:46,862 --> 00:17:47,896 - Say it. 446 00:17:49,231 --> 00:17:51,866 - Say that I'm lying, or say I have the job. 447 00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:52,967 Make a definitive statement, Gabe. 448 00:17:53,034 --> 00:17:54,101 - Statements of such a nature, 449 00:17:54,169 --> 00:17:55,402 While they have their place, are overused 450 00:17:55,469 --> 00:17:57,203 In a competitive business environment. 451 00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:58,504 - Great. 452 00:17:58,571 --> 00:18:00,438 Well, let me know if you need a new chair, 453 00:18:00,506 --> 00:18:02,807 Or anything that an office administrator can handle. 454 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,076 - Will do. 455 00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:11,616 Could I get one of those nameplates 456 00:18:11,683 --> 00:18:13,651 That says "Gabe lewis"? 457 00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:16,920 - For sure. Anything else? 458 00:18:16,988 --> 00:18:19,789 I'll get it right away. 459 00:18:19,857 --> 00:18:21,057 The first lesson of watching 460 00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,058 World poker tour at 2:00 A.M.: 461 00:18:23,126 --> 00:18:27,194 You play the opponent, not the cards. 462 00:18:28,763 --> 00:18:30,330 - Is that what we're here for? 463 00:18:30,398 --> 00:18:31,697 A crystal wizard. 464 00:18:31,765 --> 00:18:32,898 I like it. 465 00:18:32,966 --> 00:18:37,769 - It's a pewter wizard, holding a crystal. 466 00:18:37,837 --> 00:18:38,970 - Wait a second. 467 00:18:39,038 --> 00:18:41,873 You know you can't buy that now, right? 468 00:18:41,941 --> 00:18:43,374 I can come back and get it for you later, 469 00:18:43,442 --> 00:18:45,275 But I'm saying right now, we can't do that. 470 00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:46,410 - Right. 471 00:18:46,477 --> 00:18:47,778 'cause I'm here Revenge. 472 00:18:47,845 --> 00:18:49,346 - That's it. - Okay. 473 00:18:49,414 --> 00:18:51,815 - Let me know if I can help you with anything. 474 00:18:51,883 --> 00:18:54,617 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes? 475 00:18:54,685 --> 00:18:57,419 - I was here yesterday, and you refused to wait on me. 476 00:18:57,486 --> 00:18:58,786 - I remember, yes. 477 00:18:58,854 --> 00:19:00,054 I'm terribly sorry about what happened. 478 00:19:00,122 --> 00:19:01,055 - You work on commission, don't you? 479 00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:02,290 - Stop, stop. - No. 480 00:19:02,357 --> 00:19:03,324 - Hold on one second. 481 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,291 Did you just say you remember him? 482 00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:05,492 - Of course. 483 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,461 But, uh, he looks much less threatening now. 484 00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:08,461 - What does that mean? 485 00:19:08,529 --> 00:19:10,096 - We had a safety concern. 486 00:19:10,164 --> 00:19:12,331 We very politely indicated that he'd be welcomed back... 487 00:19:12,399 --> 00:19:13,598 - Good morning. 488 00:19:13,666 --> 00:19:15,266 - If he were in accordance with our dress policy. 489 00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:18,335 - What? - The bloodstained hands. 490 00:19:23,039 --> 00:19:24,841 - It was beet juice. 491 00:19:24,908 --> 00:19:26,976 I'm a beet farmer, id... 492 00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:28,377 - I'm very sorry. - Good sir. 493 00:19:28,445 --> 00:19:32,081 I happened to have been working a very long day that day, 494 00:19:32,148 --> 00:19:34,618 When I came to your fine estab... 495 00:19:34,685 --> 00:19:35,952 You are so... I'm gonna... 496 00:19:36,019 --> 00:19:39,688 Okay, listen, you can't treat... 497 00:19:39,755 --> 00:19:41,756 Thank you. Good morning, sir! 498 00:19:41,824 --> 00:19:43,024 - Okay. 499 00:19:43,092 --> 00:19:46,060 - You made a big mistake! Huge! 500 00:19:46,127 --> 00:19:48,595 - There it is. All right. 501 00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:53,766 - That was pretty good. - Thank you. Please. 502 00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:56,135 I'll take the wizard. 503 00:19:56,202 --> 00:19:57,970 - Uh, okay. 504 00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:04,175 - You forged them. You forged the forms. 505 00:20:04,243 --> 00:20:06,077 - You filled them in and faxed them yourself. 506 00:20:06,145 --> 00:20:07,445 - Yes. - You remember that. 507 00:20:07,513 --> 00:20:10,481 - Yes, but you had me so worked up 508 00:20:10,549 --> 00:20:11,849 That I made a mistake. 509 00:20:11,917 --> 00:20:14,618 - Unless a part of you made that mistake on purpose. 510 00:20:14,686 --> 00:20:17,420 - You don't make a mistake on purpose, Toby. 511 00:20:17,488 --> 00:20:21,191 Then it's no longer a mistake. 512 00:20:21,258 --> 00:20:24,360 Gabe. He messed it up. 513 00:20:24,428 --> 00:20:26,963 He messed up the forms, I bet. 514 00:20:27,030 --> 00:20:28,429 I wanna mess everything up 515 00:20:28,497 --> 00:20:30,163 So I can fix it and keep my job. 516 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,697 - Good thing I'm here, 'cause I do nothing. 517 00:20:34,765 --> 00:20:37,131 I make everybody nervous. Aah! 518 00:20:37,199 --> 00:20:39,332 Okay. 519 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,868 That's your notebook? All right. 520 00:20:41,935 --> 00:20:44,670 All right. Let's bang this out. 521 00:20:44,738 --> 00:20:46,238 Let's do it to it. 522 00:20:51,504 --> 00:20:52,424 That's the office, huh? 523 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,119 Look at that. 524 00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:57,039 Angela's cat. 525 00:20:58,768 --> 00:21:01,151 Why is Angela taller than Dwight? 526 00:21:03,813 --> 00:21:05,198 Right, oh.. 527 00:21:05,637 --> 00:21:07,054 I wonder why, uh... 528 00:21:07,525 --> 00:21:08,517 It feels like that. 529 00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:11,848 Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. 530 00:21:12,087 --> 00:21:14,255 Therapists are whores. 531 00:21:14,848 --> 00:21:17,008 Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. 532 00:21:18,352 --> 00:21:20,608 I learn more from Dr.** than from Dr. Froyd. 533 00:21:21,199 --> 00:21:21,888 Earth. 534 00:21:22,086 --> 00:21:23,600 You don't have to be crazy to live here. 535 00:21:24,046 --> 00:21:24,999 But it helps. 536 00:21:26,512 --> 00:21:27,480 I don't know... Just use the best one. 537 00:21:27,515 --> 00:21:28,170 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com