1 00:00:01,125 --> 00:00:03,168 Next stop, secretary Schrute 2 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,883 will read the minutes from Sunday's meeting. 3 00:00:08,107 --> 00:00:11,010 Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night. 4 00:00:11,825 --> 00:00:12,886 No, Jim. 5 00:00:13,846 --> 00:00:15,479 {\*This meeting}It's for Knights of the Night only. 6 00:00:15,604 --> 00:00:17,816 Knights of the Night are volunteer crime patrollers. 7 00:00:17,941 --> 00:00:21,102 We're{\* often} compared to the Guardian Angels, but we couldn't be more different{\* from them}. 8 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:24,909 Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. 9 00:00:25,034 --> 00:00:27,605 I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. 10 00:00:27,730 --> 00:00:28,943 Think Guardian Angels. 11 00:00:29,111 --> 00:00:30,773 One of our many recent good deeds. 12 00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,406 We set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. 13 00:00:33,713 --> 00:00:35,141 Mission accomplished. 14 00:00:35,576 --> 00:00:36,576 Not by us. 15 00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:39,454 I'm{\* actually} just looking for my BlackBerry, so carry on. 16 00:00:40,539 --> 00:00:43,583 I see how this movie ends. You make fun of me, everyone laughs. 17 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:45,919 Screw you. 18 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:48,838 Dwight, don't be bothered by your friend's presence. 19 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,789 {\*What are you gonna do }Now you gonna make fun of our leader's weird voice? 20 00:00:52,914 --> 00:00:54,763 Dwight, don't be bothered... 21 00:00:55,832 --> 00:00:56,971 Over the line. 22 00:00:57,139 --> 00:00:59,599 I'm just looking for my phone, so pretend I'm not here. 23 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:01,351 Fine. Minutes from previous meeting 24 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:02,936 of Knights of the Night. 25 00:01:03,624 --> 00:01:05,896 - It's our official name. - Sounds good. 26 00:01:06,315 --> 00:01:08,512 Reflective strips were glued to patrol jackets. 27 00:01:08,637 --> 00:01:11,319 Knights went outside with flashlights to test them. 28 00:01:11,487 --> 00:01:12,445 Smart. 29 00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:14,781 And the rest was just boiler plate stuff that's... 30 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:17,075 Go ahead and read it, some people weren't here. 31 00:01:17,422 --> 00:01:20,161 Knights stayed outside to play flashlight tag. 32 00:01:20,329 --> 00:01:22,459 Come on. That sounds awesome. 33 00:01:22,584 --> 00:01:24,795 - It was pretty cool. - Was it? 34 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,334 It was pretty awesome. 35 00:01:31,898 --> 00:01:32,966 No, I got it. 36 00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:34,719 Just leaving now. 37 00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:38,638 - Feygnasse Team - 38 00:01:38,806 --> 00:01:40,140 .:: La Fabrique ::. 39 00:01:54,738 --> 00:01:56,781 {\pos(270,155)}7x13 : Ultimatum 40 00:01:56,949 --> 00:01:58,959 January 3, 2011. 41 00:01:59,518 --> 00:02:01,668 A day which will live infamously. 42 00:02:02,698 --> 00:02:05,830 Holly Partridge Flax, otherwise known as Holly, 43 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:09,336 otherwise, otherwise known as a living, breathing angel, 44 00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:11,261 is engaged to another man. 45 00:02:12,177 --> 00:02:13,877 This is freaking me out. 46 00:02:15,329 --> 00:02:17,235 Let's switch to the happy video. 47 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,959 No, let's push through. We'll do this. 48 00:02:20,084 --> 00:02:23,156 {\pos(120,268)}Today will either be the best or the worst day of my life. 49 00:02:23,467 --> 00:02:25,069 {\pos(120,268)}Holly gave AJ an ultimatum. 50 00:02:25,194 --> 00:02:27,615 {\pos(120,268)}He either proposes by New Year or they break up. 51 00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:29,469 {\pos(120,268)}Now if she's engaged, 52 00:02:29,594 --> 00:02:31,820 {\pos(120,268)}I'm gonna go crazy and{\* I'm gonna} start attacking people. 53 00:02:31,945 --> 00:02:34,179 {\pos(120,268)}If she's not engaged, in all honesty, 54 00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:36,624 {\pos(120,268)}I may{\* just} burn this{\* whole} place to the ground out of happiness. 55 00:02:36,749 --> 00:02:40,074 {\pos(110,268)}Either way, I am going to need some talking down. 56 00:02:40,199 --> 00:02:43,661 {\pos(110,268)}Nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down. 57 00:02:43,829 --> 00:02:45,471 I know what you're thinking. 58 00:02:45,596 --> 00:02:47,807 Holly is engaged{\* to somebody else} and you want to kill yourself. 59 00:02:47,932 --> 00:02:50,001 That may seem like a good idea, but it's not. 60 00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:52,253 Snot. 61 00:02:53,714 --> 00:02:56,007 {\pos(120,258)}It sounded like you said, "it's snot." I'm so sorry. 62 00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:58,075 Okay, so killing yourself... 63 00:03:00,424 --> 00:03:01,971 {\pos(120,268)}I was thinking about snot. 64 00:03:06,034 --> 00:03:07,018 Good morning. 65 00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:08,870 Hey, guys. Fun thing. 66 00:03:08,995 --> 00:03:11,648 {\pos(120,268)}The index cards on your desk are resolution cards. 67 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:13,650 {\pos(120,268)}Write your New Year's resolution on{\* them}, 68 00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:17,096 {\pos(120,268)}I'll collect them, and then display the cards on... 69 00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:20,890 this! 70 00:03:21,015 --> 00:03:22,075 Resolution board. 71 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,244 Did your baby draw that? 72 00:03:24,921 --> 00:03:26,610 {\pos(120,268)}The glitter is blinding. 73 00:03:27,179 --> 00:03:29,457 {\pos(120,268)}- I think it's good. - It's gonna be fun. 74 00:03:29,625 --> 00:03:30,750 I recently met Sue, 75 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:33,753 the office administrator at Vance Refrigeration. 76 00:03:33,921 --> 00:03:36,214 She has this awesome wall full of fun initiatives 77 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,299 and morale boosters and stuff. 78 00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:41,058 {\pos(120,268)}Sue just goes for it. She's awesome. 79 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,100 {\pos(120,268)}I know Sue, she's not that great. 80 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:47,225 {\pos(120,268)}You know her husband's in a wheel chair, right? 81 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,352 - Okay, champagne. - Happy. 82 00:03:51,223 --> 00:03:53,606 - Sponge. - Sad. To soak up my tears. 83 00:03:55,507 --> 00:03:57,277 Gummi bears and gummi worms. 84 00:03:57,563 --> 00:03:59,903 Bears sad, worms happy. C'mon, man. 85 00:04:01,281 --> 00:04:02,699 {\pos(150,268)}Ukuleles. Happy? 86 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,536 {\pos(140,268)}Sad. Something to break. 87 00:04:05,952 --> 00:04:07,745 {\pos(140,268)}- Chocolates. - For you, job well done. 88 00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,207 {\pos(150,268)}Thank you. 89 00:04:09,939 --> 00:04:11,291 {\pos(140,268)}And two bottles of Scotch. 90 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,417 Both sad. 91 00:04:13,305 --> 00:04:14,627 Did you get the tickets? 92 00:04:14,795 --> 00:04:16,563 {\pos(120,268)}I did, I did indeed. 93 00:04:16,688 --> 00:04:19,507 {\pos(110,238)}Two{\* front row center} tickets to Paula Poundstone live in Poughkeepsie. 94 00:04:19,632 --> 00:04:20,931 Holly's favorite. 95 00:04:21,056 --> 00:04:23,637 {\pos(150,238)}I hope she doesn't call us up onstage, that would suck. 96 00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:26,264 {\pos(150,238)}- You think you can do my job better? - I don't know. 97 00:04:26,438 --> 00:04:28,295 - What's your name? - Michael. 98 00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:31,928 {\pos(120,268)}I'm really excited for Michael either way. 99 00:04:32,053 --> 00:04:34,149 {\pos(105,268)}Because if Holly chooses to be with him, 100 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,369 {\pos(120,268)}he will be so, so happy. 101 00:04:36,742 --> 00:04:37,726 {\pos(120,268)}And if not, 102 00:04:37,851 --> 00:04:40,252 {\pos(120,268)}he'll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life. 103 00:04:41,892 --> 00:04:42,947 Hey, guys. 104 00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:45,542 I'd like to introduce you to a new{\* little} friend of mine. 105 00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,839 His name is New Year's resolution board. 106 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,289 Shut up. Hello. 107 00:04:51,996 --> 00:04:53,546 What happened? Is there a ring? 108 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:55,585 So, high five me. We're back. 109 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:56,902 To a happy... 110 00:04:57,546 --> 00:04:58,546 Look at those. 111 00:04:58,714 --> 00:05:00,918 - Mittens. Those a present? - Come on. 112 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,554 - They're warm. - Those are so fuzzy and warm. 113 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,553 Let me feel those. Let me feel that. 114 00:05:05,949 --> 00:05:07,325 {\*Put her there.}Give me a good firm one. 115 00:05:07,450 --> 00:05:09,766 - That's a good, firm handshake. - You're hired. 116 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,367 Let's get right into the Anderson account, shall we? 117 00:05:12,492 --> 00:05:13,892 Okay. Right away. 118 00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:16,817 Right away. Okay. 119 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,134 {\*Want me to}Do I crank the thermostat to 90? Smoke her out? 120 00:05:20,259 --> 00:05:22,091 She can't keep those mittens on forever. 121 00:05:22,446 --> 00:05:24,030 What? Stop. Yes. 122 00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,164 Congrat... 123 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:32,864 Oh, my God. That's it, that's it. 124 00:05:34,970 --> 00:05:37,293 I get it. Everybody knows about the ultimatum. 125 00:05:37,461 --> 00:05:38,711 Yes, I told everyone. 126 00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:44,425 Right back at you, bitch. 127 00:05:45,886 --> 00:05:47,917 Happy, happy, happy, happy! 128 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,510 Calm down! Breathe. 129 00:05:57,635 --> 00:05:58,648 I'm trying. 130 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,150 I said breathe. 131 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,151 I'm trying. 132 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:04,112 Wait a second. Are you listening to music? 133 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,793 - What? - Shut that off. 134 00:06:06,636 --> 00:06:08,366 I'm not listening to the music. 135 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,033 Fine, just go crazy for a little while. 136 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,206 Looking good. You're looking good. 137 00:06:18,231 --> 00:06:20,545 I gotcha, I gotcha! 138 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,338 I'm pulling you back! 139 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,116 Michael dance-off! 140 00:06:26,729 --> 00:06:28,261 - That's nice. - Go! 141 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,429 Me, okay! 142 00:06:31,632 --> 00:06:33,433 Nice! We're gonna calm down later. 143 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:34,642 I'm doing it. 144 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,536 Right there! 145 00:06:43,478 --> 00:06:46,464 - I'm collecting resolution cards. - Not doing that. 146 00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:47,447 Why not? 147 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,887 I've achieved plenty. There's no better than the best. 148 00:06:50,012 --> 00:06:51,159 Drink less caffeine. 149 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,243 Good one. 150 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,678 Here's mine. 151 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,539 "Learn to cook for one." 152 00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,200 Yeah, I love cooking, 153 00:06:58,325 --> 00:07:01,294 but I always{\* find myself} throw{\*ing} out half the food that I prepare. 154 00:07:01,590 --> 00:07:03,963 So{\* I figured} it's time to start preparing the right amount of food 155 00:07:04,131 --> 00:07:06,549 for the right number of people, which is one. 156 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,795 - Maybe you'll meet someone. - No, some people just don't{\* meet someone}. 157 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:10,970 I'm fine with it. 158 00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:12,138 Really. 159 00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:14,557 This isn't a pity party. It's not a party at all. 160 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:15,642 Just sad. 161 00:07:19,302 --> 00:07:21,022 "Make time for romance."{\*} 162 00:07:21,342 --> 00:07:23,358 - Who's the senator? - My boyfriend. 163 00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:26,277 You mean the State senator. Sorry, I was confused. 164 00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:28,655 You accidentally wrote "the senator". 165 00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:30,816 Wait. It's that easy? 166 00:07:31,511 --> 00:07:33,876 That's not a resolution. Just something I wanna do. 167 00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:35,051 Okay, fine. 168 00:07:35,176 --> 00:07:36,376 I can do that. 169 00:07:41,543 --> 00:07:42,764 My resolution is: 170 00:07:42,889 --> 00:07:44,156 Meet a loose woman. 171 00:07:46,045 --> 00:07:46,881 Good one. 172 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,342 You know what?{\* That's my new one.} I'm taking that one, too. 173 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,510 Awesome. 174 00:07:50,831 --> 00:07:52,569 You know what you guys should do? 175 00:07:52,694 --> 00:07:54,055 Go to the book store{\* at lunch}. 176 00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,850 There's tons of cuties and it's easy to talk to them. 177 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,415 "Hey, what book is that? Cool, let's hang out tonight. 178 00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:01,938 "Sex already?" 179 00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:04,190 - The book store? - It's that easy? 180 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,776 - I'll come with you to show you{\* how it's done}. - Okay. I'll drive. 181 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,752 My resolution is to read more. 182 00:08:08,877 --> 00:08:10,975 If someone else is driving me to the book store, 183 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,690 I can eat my PB&J in the car. 184 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:17,136 2011 is coming up all Darryl. 185 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,890 Somebody's got a new phone. 186 00:08:22,181 --> 00:08:23,334 That is neat. 187 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:26,045 I got it for Christmas. I'm so out of my league here. 188 00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:28,407 E.T. phone Holly. 189 00:08:28,784 --> 00:08:30,216 Holly like phone? 190 00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,652 Holly misses old phone. 191 00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:34,304 Why? 192 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,849 New phone is confusing. Gets bad reception. 193 00:08:38,606 --> 00:08:39,454 Bummer. 194 00:08:39,579 --> 00:08:40,391 Bummer. 195 00:08:40,516 --> 00:08:41,978 Reese's pieces. 196 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:43,147 Reese's pieces? 197 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:44,620 God. Please stop. 198 00:08:45,552 --> 00:08:48,401 I still have my old phone. This thing, indestructible. 199 00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:55,200 I should get this. 200 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,998 No,{\*Don't go see that one.} I want to see that one together. 201 00:09:02,481 --> 00:09:04,292 Yeah, go see that action one. 202 00:09:06,825 --> 00:09:08,025 I love you, too. 203 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:11,676 All right. 204 00:09:14,523 --> 00:09:16,125 {\pub}Holly doesn't seem to be engaged, 205 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:19,057 but she's talking to AJ like she is. 206 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,433 I can't figure it out. 207 00:09:20,876 --> 00:09:22,811 Do you think she's{\* already} dating a different AJ? 208 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,187 I don't think so. 209 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,856 When you broke{\* it off} with Roy did you still tell him you loved him? 210 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,108 But you did{\* still love him}. 211 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,693 {\*I'm not gonna have-}Do you love him now? 212 00:09:32,612 --> 00:09:33,712 Talk to her. 213 00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:36,099 She'd just resent me. Or worse, 214 00:09:36,224 --> 00:09:38,368 she'd think of me as her friend. Hi, friend. 215 00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:40,912 I'll talk to her. 216 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,331 - You think she'd talk to you? - Why wouldn't she? 217 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,625 That's true, she's{\* really} nice. She'd talk to anybody. 218 00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:48,962 {\*Why don't you }Bring Erin to balance you out. 219 00:09:49,943 --> 00:09:51,047 There's a plan. 220 00:09:52,402 --> 00:09:53,277 All right. 221 00:09:53,402 --> 00:09:56,469 We should divide up by section. I'll take romance and travel. 222 00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,138 I'll take the entire{\*ty of the} second floor. 223 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,265 I got that cutie behind the counter. 224 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,979 {\*Well, }If you read a lot, you should check out our e-readers. 225 00:10:09,104 --> 00:10:12,209 - They're really neat. - I work at a paper company. 226 00:10:12,334 --> 00:10:13,952 Those things terrify me. 227 00:10:14,077 --> 00:10:15,868 They could put us out of business.{\*, you know?} 228 00:10:15,993 --> 00:10:19,325 - Heard those hold ten books at once. - Actually, it's 10,000. 229 00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:20,994 Holy crap. What? 230 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,461 Let me see that. 231 00:10:23,027 --> 00:10:24,027 So light. 232 00:10:24,409 --> 00:10:25,759 Like a croissant. 233 00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:28,790 Welcome. 234 00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:31,775 - Let us know if you need anything. - Thanks. 235 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,633 Why did we pretend {\*like }we work here? 236 00:10:35,878 --> 00:10:38,636 - Is that what we were doing? - I don't know... 237 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,972 - Hey, how'd you do? - Good. 238 00:10:42,087 --> 00:10:44,751 I think we kinda nailed it pretty much. But{\*, you know,} this place is {\*kinda }tapped out 239 00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:45,852 so let's roll. 240 00:10:47,587 --> 00:10:50,106 - What'd you get? - A book about oceans. 241 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:54,181 - Really? What else? Let me see. - That's porn. Pornography. 242 00:10:54,306 --> 00:10:56,180 Old lady. Nasty porn. 243 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,249 Follow my lead. 244 00:11:01,374 --> 00:11:03,620 - Want some company? - Want some company? 245 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,205 Sure. Have a seat. 246 00:11:07,102 --> 00:11:08,291 How were your breaks? 247 00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,002 - Really good. I went to Portugal. - I went to Portugal. 248 00:11:12,059 --> 00:11:14,631 - You went together? - No. 249 00:11:15,272 --> 00:11:17,884 So, I just gotta know. What's going on with you and AJ? 250 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,219 Nothing {\*really }happened. 251 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:22,074 {\*I mean, }I know I made a big deal about th{\*is whole}e New Year's deadline, 252 00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:25,558 but, it came and went and we're still together. 253 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:29,103 You didn't break up{\* with AJ at all}? {\*I mean, }Not even for a week to make him buy you a present? 254 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:32,315 It just wasn't fair of me to give him an ultimatum in the first place. 255 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,442 The whole thing is totally my fault. 256 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:37,195 But we're gonna be just fine. Just fine. 257 00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:49,160 I am not going back until I fulfill my resolution. 258 00:11:51,071 --> 00:11:53,978 - Come on, why not? - I've never been in one before. 259 00:11:54,103 --> 00:11:56,631 I'm tired of being Mr Perfect role model all the time. 260 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,133 {\*I'm telling you, }Don't do it. 261 00:11:58,694 --> 00:12:01,537 I got nothing against strip clubs, but I do have something against them 262 00:12:01,662 --> 00:12:03,346 at noon on a Monday. 263 00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,572 The day shift at a strip club? 264 00:12:06,097 --> 00:12:07,559 You can't unsee that. 265 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,978 We can't just go back. {\*I mean, }We came out to meet women. 266 00:12:10,224 --> 00:12:12,397 There's a roller rink across the street. 267 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,876 - There's always chicks {\*at the rink }there. - What kind of chicks{\* are you gonna meet there}? 268 00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:18,278 I don't know. Single moms at a skating party? 269 00:12:19,176 --> 00:12:21,354 Sweet 16, ten-year reunion parties. 270 00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:23,472 Chicks fall down, need help getting back up. 271 00:12:23,597 --> 00:12:25,353 Roller derby practice. 272 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,621 We're going skating. 273 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,089 The goal of this meeting is to get everybody 274 00:12:42,214 --> 00:12:44,095 excited about their resolutions. 275 00:12:44,624 --> 00:12:46,681 Who's been good about {\*their resolution }that so far? 276 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:49,664 Erin, tell us about it. 277 00:12:49,789 --> 00:12:52,751 My goal was to learn a new word every single day. 278 00:12:52,876 --> 00:12:56,149 And I must say that it is going immensely. 279 00:12:57,568 --> 00:13:01,571 Here's a little "way to go" gift from Sabre. 280 00:13:01,922 --> 00:13:03,022 Intercepted. 281 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,985 Creed, {\*I notice }you don't have a resolution on the board. 282 00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:09,587 - What's yours? - I want to do a cart wheel. 283 00:13:09,712 --> 00:13:10,997 They're real casual{\*, I think}. 284 00:13:11,122 --> 00:13:13,249 Not enough to make a big deal out of it. 285 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,878 But I know everybody saw it, just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel. 286 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,923 - How's it going? - I'm having {\*a little }trouble motivating. 287 00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:23,510 One of the hardest parts {\*about making }with resolutions is keeping them. 288 00:13:23,749 --> 00:13:26,971 In fact, most resolutions are abandoned by February. 289 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,139 Or sooner. 290 00:13:28,658 --> 00:13:30,519 - It's not a joke. - But that's OK, 291 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,144 because it's not about being perfect, it's about trying. 292 00:13:33,561 --> 00:13:35,563 {\*In fact, }Why don't we go around and confess 293 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:38,107 some of the ways {\*that }we've already fudged on our resolutions? 294 00:13:38,439 --> 00:13:40,960 I said that I would eat more vegetables, 295 00:13:41,085 --> 00:13:42,394 and I haven't yet. 296 00:13:42,519 --> 00:13:44,617 But it's OK. I still have time. 297 00:13:44,742 --> 00:13:46,699 Since last year I ate none. 298 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:50,560 My confession is that today I had a sip of coffee. 299 00:13:50,685 --> 00:13:52,622 - But that's fine. - Is it? 300 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,872 Because, with all of your support, 301 00:13:54,997 --> 00:13:56,595 by this time next year maybe 302 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,003 I'll be down to one glass of iced tea a week. 303 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,476 Next year? Come on. {\*I mean, }What is the point? 304 00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:02,882 What is the point of that? 305 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,635 I made a resolution to floss. And I did it. 306 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,097 12:01, January 1st. Blood everywhere. 307 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,599 Not all of us are Michael freakin' Scott. 308 00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,060 What is wrong with you{\* people}? Can't you stick to anything? 309 00:14:14,573 --> 00:14:17,522 Erin, {\*I want you to }go to the kitchen and get me some vegetables. 310 00:14:18,005 --> 00:14:19,649 Creed, you {\*say you}want to do a cartwheel? 311 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,610 Nothing's stopping you. Come on, old man. Do a cartwheel! 312 00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,070 {\*Well, }I can't. I don't know how. 313 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,466 You{\*'re just going to}'ll just somersault around for the rest of your life. 314 00:14:26,591 --> 00:14:29,242 And you know what's gonna be on your tombstone? Loser. 315 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,286 My tombstone's already made, thank you. 316 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,663 - Just do a cartwheel! - This is all I could find. 317 00:14:36,207 --> 00:14:38,730 - Eat it. - You don't have to do that, Kevin. 318 00:14:38,855 --> 00:14:40,837 No, I'm glad this is happening. 319 00:14:41,432 --> 00:14:42,338 Thank you{\*, Michael}. 320 00:14:43,239 --> 00:14:44,674 Why are you eating stem first? 321 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,651 This is a new food for me. How else should I eat it? 322 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:54,225 Can I get some Cheez Whiz? Or hollandaise? 323 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:57,350 No Cheez Whiz, no hollandaise, no chocolate sauce, just eat it. 324 00:14:57,475 --> 00:14:59,230 Come on, here comes the airplane. 325 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:02,192 There you go. Open, open, into the hanger, there you go. 326 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,234 Eat it. 327 00:15:03,879 --> 00:15:06,571 - Put it in your mouth, and just eat it. - God, I hate it. 328 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,782 I don't care {\*whether }if you hate it, you said you'd do it! Eat it! 329 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,201 Eat it! 330 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:13,755 - You're killing him{\*, Michael}. - All right! 331 00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:18,082 OK, I ate the fluffy part. Can I be done? 332 00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:20,126 {\*Let me see if }Did you swallow{\*ed} it? Open your mouth. 333 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,736 Under your tongue. 334 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,758 You guys are pathetic. 335 00:15:31,509 --> 00:15:33,348 Can I get some candy or something? 336 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,183 - No, you can't{\* have any candy}! - I'll get him water. 337 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,518 {\*Michael, }Just settle down. 338 00:15:48,662 --> 00:15:49,865 {\pub}Yes, Michael? 339 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:53,126 - Not Michael, E.T. - What's up? 340 00:15:55,366 --> 00:15:57,580 {\*Well, }I just want to talk about what happened in there. 341 00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,267 No, Michael. I don't want to talk about it with you. 342 00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:03,044 And I'm fine, I just... I don't want to talk about it. 343 00:16:34,514 --> 00:16:35,935 Holly, {\*come on in. }thanks for coming. 344 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:37,954 I thought there should be an HR rep{\* here for this}. 345 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,806 So Kevin and Creed, 346 00:16:42,931 --> 00:16:44,961 things got {\*a little bit }intense in the conference room. 347 00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,341 - You think? - And I wanted to apologize. 348 00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:49,573 These resolutions should be about you, 349 00:16:49,698 --> 00:16:51,732 and I made it about me. 350 00:16:51,857 --> 00:16:54,304 - And it was none of my beeswax. - You were super mean. 351 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,431 It was insensitive and I am sorry. 352 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,397 It was traumatizing, Michael. 353 00:16:58,808 --> 00:17:02,270 I wouldn't be surprised if I never eat a vegetable again. 354 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:06,441 I really wanted you to follow through on your resolutions. 355 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,651 The cartwheel, the veggies. 356 00:17:09,891 --> 00:17:11,196 I care about you. 357 00:17:11,687 --> 00:17:12,687 Very much. 358 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,746 And you loom so large in my heart 359 00:17:16,871 --> 00:17:18,571 that I crossed the line. 360 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,469 OK, Michael, no offense. 361 00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:25,126 - But you need to get your own life. - You're right. 362 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,004 And I hope 363 00:17:28,785 --> 00:17:30,381 that we can still be friends. 364 00:17:30,776 --> 00:17:32,976 I don't think I'm there yet, boss. 365 00:17:34,101 --> 00:17:35,428 Well, I am. 366 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,438 All right. I'm gonna help you. 367 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,857 It's just you. Anything you want to hear? 368 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,203 Dave Matthews' band. 369 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,280 No hits, deep tracks only. 370 00:17:56,502 --> 00:17:57,802 I said, no hits. 371 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,929 How's your fart project coming? 372 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,589 That's {\*real, }really classy, Kevin. Was it me or you that just shoved 373 00:18:20,714 --> 00:18:23,643 the butt {\*end }of a {\*pound of }broccoli into my mouth because Michael told me to? 374 00:18:24,178 --> 00:18:26,586 - Me. - Kevin, don't. 375 00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:29,107 Come on. 376 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,151 Pam? Soda, caffeine. 377 00:18:32,206 --> 00:18:34,487 Just a little. I have a lot to deal with today. 378 00:18:34,943 --> 00:18:36,865 If you don't have to do 'em... 379 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:40,034 Meredith, what are you doing? I could be pregnant. 380 00:18:40,548 --> 00:18:42,787 My resolution was to get more attention. 381 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,122 Nope, she's lying. 382 00:18:49,139 --> 00:18:51,281 One, two, three. 383 00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:54,257 {\*I did it.}I did a cartwheel. 384 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,758 Fuck you, fuck you! 385 00:18:57,981 --> 00:18:58,981 That's it. 386 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,655 Lesson learned. 387 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,233 What's up? 388 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,651 - Where'd you go? - To the arcade. 389 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,866 - Why, did you meet someone? - I did, actually. 390 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:23,552 His name is Andy. And he roller skates like a Greek god. 391 00:19:23,677 --> 00:19:25,830 And you know what? I {\*kinda }like hanging out with him. 392 00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:27,890 Right on, son. 393 00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:30,416 Gentlemen. 394 00:19:31,162 --> 00:19:33,562 - And where did you go? - Strip club. 395 00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:36,716 I was looking at the strippers at the strip club. 396 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,010 - Right. - So that's it, guys? 397 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,095 If you want, I can put on the strobe. 398 00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:03,220 Do you want to keep this? 399 00:20:05,048 --> 00:20:06,798 Do you want to keep this? 400 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,459 - Do you wanna keep this? - No, you can toss them. 401 00:20:14,598 --> 00:20:15,672 My resolution? 402 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,001 I never want to make Holly cry again. 403 00:20:18,825 --> 00:20:21,075 Unless it's from laughing too hard. 404 00:20:22,148 --> 00:20:24,198 Or making love too beautifully. 405 00:20:28,619 --> 00:20:30,728 We're gonna be just fine. 406 00:20:33,245 --> 00:20:37,038 You know, {\*you }say something over and over and the words start to sound weird. 407 00:20:37,789 --> 00:20:39,438 Going to be just fine. 408 00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:43,240 Just fine, just fine. 409 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,775 I just think we need to cool things down for a while. 410 00:20:49,717 --> 00:20:50,717 A break. 411 00:20:51,231 --> 00:20:53,531 At least until I get back to Nashua. 412 00:20:54,495 --> 00:20:55,745 Yeah, I'm sure. 413 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:02,260 {\pub}Look at where you're going to be doing the cartwheel. 414 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,596 {\*So }Look where you'{\*re going}ll to{\* be} plac{\*ing}e your hand. {\*So }Pick a spot. 415 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:06,931 - You ready{\* to do this}? - Yes, sir. 416 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,921 {\*You know what?}I'{\*m gonna}ll stay here as long as it takes. 417 00:21:09,046 --> 00:21:12,479 - I really appreciate that, boss. - I'm gonna spot you. Spot you! 418 00:21:12,858 --> 00:21:13,858 Go. 419 00:21:16,003 --> 00:21:17,003 I did it! 420 00:21:17,602 --> 00:21:19,944 - You did? - The perfect cartwheel. 421 00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:24,449 What a rush. That's all I had to do all year. 422 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,915 Congratulations. 423 00:21:27,305 --> 00:21:29,452 Well, all right. See you tomorrow.