1 00:00:10,675 --> 00:00:11,625 I'm not picking on you at all. 2 00:00:11,676 --> 00:00:12,643 You're English, correct? 3 00:00:12,727 --> 00:00:13,761 Yeah, big time, yeah. 4 00:00:13,812 --> 00:00:14,979 I'm working on an English character. 5 00:00:15,063 --> 00:00:16,030 Would you mind gi... 6 00:00:16,097 --> 00:00:18,015 it's called Reginald Pooftah. 7 00:00:19,434 --> 00:00:21,518 David Brent, my liege. How are you? 8 00:00:21,603 --> 00:00:23,470 - Michael Scott. - Oh, there you go. 9 00:00:23,521 --> 00:00:24,505 I do characters as well. 10 00:00:24,573 --> 00:00:25,839 I got a Chinese fella. 11 00:00:25,907 --> 00:00:28,308 He's called ho me. 12 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,110 That's what it sounds like. 13 00:00:30,161 --> 00:00:32,029 - Herrow! Herrow! - I do ping. 14 00:00:32,113 --> 00:00:33,480 Herrow. I ping. 15 00:00:33,531 --> 00:00:34,949 You can't do that these days. You can't. 16 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,201 No, no, no. And people don't understand 17 00:00:37,285 --> 00:00:40,320 that it has nothing to do with making fun 18 00:00:40,372 --> 00:00:41,455 of a different nationality. 19 00:00:41,523 --> 00:00:42,673 No, no, no. 20 00:00:42,757 --> 00:00:46,293 No, comedy is a place where the mind goes 21 00:00:46,361 --> 00:00:47,494 to tickle itself. 22 00:00:47,545 --> 00:00:48,512 That's what she said. 23 00:00:53,268 --> 00:00:55,335 That's good. Pleasure to meet you. 24 00:00:55,387 --> 00:00:56,637 - Where are you working? - Dunder Mifflin. 25 00:00:56,705 --> 00:00:58,472 - Any jobs now? - No, not right now. 26 00:00:58,540 --> 00:00:59,740 - Just let me know. - All right. 27 00:00:59,808 --> 00:01:01,842 All right. See ya around. 28 00:01:01,893 --> 00:01:04,344 Bye-bye. 29 00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:05,646 What a nice guy. 30 00:01:10,151 --> 00:01:17,858 Syn by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 31 00:01:29,104 --> 00:01:30,537 Your first student is here, 32 00:01:30,605 --> 00:01:32,056 mister Bernard. 33 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:36,560 That's actually "master of ceremonies" Bernard. 34 00:01:36,645 --> 00:01:37,745 Last year, I went to a seminar 35 00:01:37,812 --> 00:01:39,146 called "the ten secrets of real estate." 36 00:01:39,214 --> 00:01:40,214 Turns out it was just a ploy 37 00:01:40,281 --> 00:01:41,982 to sell me time-shares in Idaho. 38 00:01:42,050 --> 00:01:45,853 Cut to, you know, I'm spending a weekend in Boise, 39 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,755 terrible time, super lonely. 40 00:01:47,822 --> 00:01:49,406 But I get to thinking 41 00:01:49,491 --> 00:01:52,109 maybe I should put on my own seminar 42 00:01:52,193 --> 00:01:53,577 to lure clients. 43 00:01:53,662 --> 00:01:54,695 Oh, it's... 44 00:02:00,101 --> 00:02:01,418 Hello, I am here 45 00:02:01,503 --> 00:02:03,037 for the small business seminar. 46 00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:04,471 Michael? 47 00:02:04,539 --> 00:02:05,706 Neii'm Greek! 48 00:02:05,774 --> 00:02:07,307 My name is Mikanos. 49 00:02:10,595 --> 00:02:11,645 Wait, Michael? 50 00:02:11,713 --> 00:02:13,097 Michael? Okay. 51 00:02:13,181 --> 00:02:14,782 I am the plant. 52 00:02:14,849 --> 00:02:16,583 Every great seminar has one. 53 00:02:16,651 --> 00:02:18,519 My job is to make the speaker look good, 54 00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:20,688 and I do this through the techniques 55 00:02:20,755 --> 00:02:22,322 of leading questions 56 00:02:22,390 --> 00:02:24,825 and laughing at all jokes. 57 00:02:24,893 --> 00:02:27,027 And the character, Mikanos, 58 00:02:27,095 --> 00:02:28,495 is just a little added Flava. 59 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:33,667 Mikanos is loosely based on another character I do, Spiros, 60 00:02:33,735 --> 00:02:35,602 who is more about the ladies. 61 00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:37,538 Thank you so much, tuna Turner. 62 00:02:37,605 --> 00:02:39,273 You are simply the best. 63 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:41,158 Listen, this isn't a favor, all right? 64 00:02:41,242 --> 00:02:42,743 This is a good idea. We all win. 65 00:02:42,794 --> 00:02:43,944 Go higher. 66 00:02:44,012 --> 00:02:45,879 I get super flexible when I'm nervous. 67 00:02:45,947 --> 00:02:48,082 Wow. 68 00:02:48,133 --> 00:02:50,050 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 69 00:02:50,118 --> 00:02:53,587 Hey, Andy, I'm really, really sorry to do this to you, 70 00:02:53,638 --> 00:02:55,789 but I have a meeting today 71 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,008 that I totally forgot, 72 00:02:58,093 --> 00:02:59,159 so I can't be a part of this seminar. 73 00:02:59,227 --> 00:03:00,293 No. What? 74 00:03:00,345 --> 00:03:01,478 You can't do that. 75 00:03:01,563 --> 00:03:03,063 You are a critical part of this seminar. 76 00:03:03,131 --> 00:03:04,481 You're the charming warm-up guy. - I know. 77 00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:06,767 - If the seminar was a meal, you'd be the amuse-bouche. 78 00:03:06,818 --> 00:03:08,852 You, like, signal the flavors of the whole night. 79 00:03:08,937 --> 00:03:09,853 I'm really sorry. I can't do it 80 00:03:09,938 --> 00:03:11,438 you can't. You can't. 81 00:03:11,489 --> 00:03:12,539 I can't have this go badly. 82 00:03:12,607 --> 00:03:13,874 I'm a terrible salesman, 83 00:03:13,942 --> 00:03:15,943 and I haven't been making very many sales lately, 84 00:03:15,994 --> 00:03:17,310 or ever. 85 00:03:17,362 --> 00:03:18,979 This is my only idea on how to turn things around. 86 00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:20,614 If it goes badly, I might lose my job, 87 00:03:20,665 --> 00:03:21,882 which would suck, because this is 88 00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:23,383 the only job I've ever been good at. 89 00:03:24,452 --> 00:03:25,536 Will you let me know 90 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:26,870 when this whole seminar thing's over? 91 00:03:26,955 --> 00:03:28,956 What's going on? Do you know that guy? 92 00:03:29,023 --> 00:03:31,158 I just have a meeting, uh, outside the office. 93 00:03:31,209 --> 00:03:34,094 Hey. 94 00:03:34,162 --> 00:03:35,495 How are the marks? 95 00:03:35,547 --> 00:03:37,464 What are some of your small business ideas? 96 00:03:37,515 --> 00:03:38,766 I was thinking we could buy up 97 00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:40,734 a bunch of abandoned mineshafts. 98 00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:43,203 That's great. 99 00:03:43,271 --> 00:03:45,005 There's a big, big future in that. 100 00:03:45,056 --> 00:03:46,006 A lot of mines in Scranton. 101 00:03:46,074 --> 00:03:47,174 Um, what about you? 102 00:03:47,225 --> 00:03:48,942 - Uh, credit cards. - Uh-huh. 103 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:51,111 My company will act as an intermedium 104 00:03:51,179 --> 00:03:52,896 for, like, 0.2 cents off every transaction. 105 00:03:52,981 --> 00:03:54,081 Wow! 106 00:03:54,149 --> 00:03:55,315 Or something with cell phones, 107 00:03:55,366 --> 00:03:57,117 like, every time you make a phone call, 108 00:03:57,185 --> 00:03:58,685 I'd make 0.2 cents. 109 00:03:58,736 --> 00:04:01,038 Or anything... like, any online shopping, 110 00:04:01,122 --> 00:04:02,823 I get .2 cents basically. Right. 111 00:04:02,874 --> 00:04:05,576 Okay? Okay. Great. 112 00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:07,411 You promised us whales. These are worms. 113 00:04:07,495 --> 00:04:09,696 They're not worms, Dwight, okay? 114 00:04:09,764 --> 00:04:11,698 They're just people with tiny businesses. 115 00:04:11,749 --> 00:04:14,084 They're baby whales, which is even cuter. 116 00:04:14,169 --> 00:04:15,235 I'm out. 117 00:04:15,303 --> 00:04:16,570 Stanley, you're supposed to close. 118 00:04:16,638 --> 00:04:17,554 I'm out, too. 119 00:04:17,639 --> 00:04:19,139 What? 120 00:04:19,207 --> 00:04:20,390 I already lost Jim. 121 00:04:20,475 --> 00:04:22,309 Salesmen are supposed to help each other out. 122 00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:23,393 We're supposed to be a team. 123 00:04:23,478 --> 00:04:24,761 We're no more a team 124 00:04:24,846 --> 00:04:28,398 than the people staying in the same hotel are a team. 125 00:04:28,483 --> 00:04:29,933 You know what might be kind of fun? 126 00:04:30,018 --> 00:04:33,253 I was thinking, you know Andy's having a seminar today? 127 00:04:33,321 --> 00:04:34,721 What if we went in as a Greek couple? 128 00:04:34,772 --> 00:04:36,290 Mikanos and... 129 00:04:36,357 --> 00:04:38,108 Oh, I don't know, Michael. I'm not feeling up to that. 130 00:04:38,193 --> 00:04:39,259 Okay. 131 00:04:39,327 --> 00:04:40,944 Holly broke up with a.J. Last week, 132 00:04:41,029 --> 00:04:42,429 which is the greatest thing 133 00:04:42,497 --> 00:04:44,364 that has ever happened... To me. 134 00:04:44,432 --> 00:04:47,868 To Holly, it's been the worst week of her life, 135 00:04:47,936 --> 00:04:49,436 and I know for a fact 136 00:04:49,504 --> 00:04:51,955 that there was a week for her in High School 137 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,776 when she got mono and her first period ever. 138 00:04:55,844 --> 00:04:57,110 Too much information? 139 00:04:57,178 --> 00:04:58,745 That's what I thought. 140 00:04:58,813 --> 00:05:00,314 But you know what? 141 00:05:00,381 --> 00:05:02,466 Here I am using it. 142 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:05,452 If-a you change-a you mind, 143 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,621 why don't you talk to mikanos? 144 00:05:07,689 --> 00:05:10,424 Is mikanos Greek? He sounds Italian. 145 00:05:10,491 --> 00:05:12,893 Ugh. You're the fifth person to tell me that today. 146 00:05:12,961 --> 00:05:16,096 Maybe mikanos ran away to join the Italian circus. 147 00:05:16,147 --> 00:05:17,648 Okay, yeah, like a character history. 148 00:05:17,732 --> 00:05:20,334 Good. Tom Hanks does that. 149 00:05:20,401 --> 00:05:22,152 Down...There. 150 00:05:25,373 --> 00:05:27,140 Is "JLP" a word? 151 00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:29,476 - "Jelp"? J-e-l-p? 152 00:05:29,544 --> 00:05:30,644 - No, j-l-p. 153 00:05:30,712 --> 00:05:33,280 Like, "I JLP... I JLP you!" 154 00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:35,332 I don't think that's a word. 155 00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:37,050 I'm playing scrabble with Gabe, 156 00:05:37,118 --> 00:05:39,286 and I've never won a game. 157 00:05:39,337 --> 00:05:41,221 The winner gets to pick the movie we watch. 158 00:05:41,289 --> 00:05:42,890 I have won no games. 159 00:05:42,957 --> 00:05:46,393 So far I've seen the shining, 160 00:05:46,461 --> 00:05:48,729 Rosemary's baby, 161 00:05:48,796 --> 00:05:49,930 the ring. 162 00:05:49,998 --> 00:05:52,432 Not really my thing. 163 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,867 Although, I... 164 00:05:53,935 --> 00:05:56,103 I do like the early parts of the movies 165 00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:58,872 where they have a perfect family and everything. 166 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,207 You want some help? 167 00:06:00,275 --> 00:06:02,025 Really? 168 00:06:03,244 --> 00:06:04,661 Yes. 169 00:06:04,746 --> 00:06:07,447 - K-a. "Ka"? 170 00:06:07,515 --> 00:06:09,032 What does "ka" mean? 171 00:06:09,117 --> 00:06:10,384 It means you're playing someone 172 00:06:10,451 --> 00:06:13,253 who's going to destroy you. 173 00:06:13,321 --> 00:06:14,871 Why did you play "moo"? 174 00:06:14,956 --> 00:06:16,423 Because I'm playing to win. 175 00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:18,458 I'm playing "moo," I'm playing "milk, 176 00:06:18,526 --> 00:06:19,843 whatever it takes. 177 00:06:19,928 --> 00:06:22,996 Okay, but look, you could have hit "mood." 178 00:06:23,064 --> 00:06:24,564 Would have played a... Uh! 179 00:06:24,632 --> 00:06:25,632 A triple word. 180 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:27,434 Like the cow mood yesterday. 181 00:06:27,501 --> 00:06:29,202 God. 182 00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:30,503 Or moon. 183 00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:33,523 The cow jumped over the moon. 184 00:06:33,608 --> 00:06:35,859 No, it doesn't have to just be cow stuff, right? 185 00:06:35,944 --> 00:06:39,613 Kevin, Jim dropped out of my seminar, 186 00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:40,781 and I'm just... 187 00:06:40,848 --> 00:06:42,049 I was wondering if you could replace him 188 00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:43,317 as my charming warm-up guy. 189 00:06:43,384 --> 00:06:45,185 Andy, I'm no Jim. 190 00:06:45,253 --> 00:06:48,989 The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version 191 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,125 when Jim sees what his future would be like 192 00:06:52,193 --> 00:06:53,660 if he never met Pam. 193 00:06:53,711 --> 00:06:56,380 Hey, that's crazy talk. 194 00:06:56,464 --> 00:06:57,697 I think you're great. 195 00:06:57,749 --> 00:07:00,584 Then I won't let you down. 196 00:07:00,668 --> 00:07:01,885 - Cake. - In you go. 197 00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:04,237 Hi, Ryan, you went to business school, right? 198 00:07:04,305 --> 00:07:05,539 - Yeah. - I need someone 199 00:07:05,606 --> 00:07:07,007 to talk to this seminar about business. 200 00:07:07,058 --> 00:07:08,725 - And? - Can you do it? 201 00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:11,712 Okay. I don't... I don't like committing to things 202 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,347 just like that. 203 00:07:13,398 --> 00:07:14,398 So no? 204 00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:16,216 No, I don't like committing 205 00:07:16,284 --> 00:07:17,517 to not doing things, either. 206 00:07:17,568 --> 00:07:19,386 That's just as big a commitment. 207 00:07:19,437 --> 00:07:20,737 Oh, baby. 208 00:07:20,822 --> 00:07:22,222 What do I put you down for, bro hombre? 209 00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:23,724 Yes. 210 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:24,992 - All right! - Yes, I'll do it. 211 00:07:25,059 --> 00:07:26,326 Okay, thank you so much. 212 00:07:26,394 --> 00:07:27,444 It's gonna be awesome. 213 00:07:27,528 --> 00:07:29,062 - And if I flake, I flake. - What? 214 00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,581 Kevin, you open it up. Yep. 215 00:07:31,666 --> 00:07:32,766 Ryan, you come in 216 00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:34,001 with your small biz expertise, right? 217 00:07:34,068 --> 00:07:38,572 And then creed, guest speaker extraordinaire. 218 00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:42,575 And then I come in and just close all the sales and stuff. 219 00:07:42,627 --> 00:07:44,428 Um, okay, here we go. 220 00:07:44,512 --> 00:07:46,213 One, two, three! 221 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,931 - Go. - Creed! 222 00:07:52,781 --> 00:07:56,141 Welcome everybody. Awesome to see you guys. My name's Andy Bernard, 223 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,876 but you can call me the nard dog. 224 00:07:57,927 --> 00:07:59,928 Hi, nard dog. I'm Lu Peachem. 225 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,346 Let's get things started, shall we? 226 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,548 You guys ready to hear 227 00:08:02,599 --> 00:08:04,149 from the dunder Mifflin business experts? 228 00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,486 Good. Well, as you can see on your program, 229 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,188 first up is a speech called, 230 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,489 "don't just dream it, do it." 231 00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:14,460 Yes! Please give a big hand to Mr. Kevin Malone. 232 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,728 All aboard! 233 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:32,944 Three, four, five. 234 00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:49,461 Yes! 235 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,433 There are some people who have charm 236 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,502 and some people who don't. 237 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:59,671 Guess which type I am. 238 00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,107 Charm type. 239 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:05,110 Dream...Big. 240 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,811 Right? 241 00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:10,082 So what I want you to do 242 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:14,369 is dream the biggest that you c...An. 243 00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:23,462 And then double it! 244 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,021 Are you okay? 245 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:35,140 No. Yes! 246 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,275 - Here. - N... 247 00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:37,609 I'm fine. 248 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:41,213 Okay, from here now. 249 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:44,082 The first lesson that I'm gonna teach you, 250 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:47,369 right, is about finding success. 251 00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:51,356 And the key to finding success is to picture a winner. 252 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:06,905 Okay, so then, what are you picturing right now, 253 00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:08,941 right this second? 254 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:13,178 'Cause the universe is yours, people. 255 00:10:13,229 --> 00:10:16,265 Get out of the way. 256 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,722 I'm really excited to introduce you guys 257 00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:25,240 to Ryan Howard. 258 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,576 He has achieved a great deal in the last... 259 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,444 but perhaps no achievement is greater 260 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,697 than his on-again, off-again girlfriend. 261 00:10:31,748 --> 00:10:33,448 What are you... 262 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,533 who am I? 263 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,501 I'm Kelly Kapoor, 264 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,453 the business bitch. 265 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,038 It is important to brand yourself, 266 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,673 so I have a couple of things in the works. 267 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:42,674 The business bitch, 268 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:43,809 the diet bitch, 269 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:44,843 the shopping bitch, 270 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:45,944 the etiquette bitch. 271 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,346 I could sit here, 272 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,581 and I could tell you the ten secrets of business, 273 00:10:49,632 --> 00:10:50,966 and you would have a great time, 274 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,351 and you would learn a lot. 275 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:53,769 But who better to tell you 276 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:58,056 than the Yale university adjunct Professor in management, 277 00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,442 Professor Scott Powell, 278 00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:03,128 who I have on my BlackBerry. 279 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,397 It's ringing. 280 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:08,900 Hey, Kelly Kapoor. 281 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:11,803 What a delicious surprise. 282 00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:14,840 Professor Powell, you are on speakerphone. 283 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,959 Uh, why? 284 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,410 Do you think you could tell us 285 00:11:18,461 --> 00:11:19,995 the ten secrets of business? 286 00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:23,081 Um, there aren't really ten secrets. 287 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,716 Come on, Scott, please. It's me. 288 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,335 Um, all right. 289 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,354 Well, um, 290 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,624 I guess know your market would be key. 291 00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:34,726 Practice fiscal discipline. 292 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:36,161 - Mm-hmm. 293 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,530 That brilliant little bitch. 294 00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,999 A little treat for our old friend, Gabe. 295 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,352 Put that "q" right there. 296 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,936 Wait. Why? 297 00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:46,505 Put the "q" there, sweetie. 298 00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:49,641 - I think there's better... - Put the "q" there! 299 00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:54,830 Sorry I yelled. 300 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,349 You could have just told us what you were thinking. 301 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,784 There's no theater in that. 302 00:11:58,835 --> 00:12:00,285 There's no yelling in that, either. 303 00:12:00,336 --> 00:12:01,320 Well... 304 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,155 What do you do in your free time? 305 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,339 Practice Olympics. 306 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,224 Mmm. Do you like movies? 307 00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:10,062 I like the musical grease, 308 00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:14,199 or as we call it "home." 309 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,551 We have to try this out on somebody. 310 00:12:18,521 --> 00:12:19,638 Hello. 311 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,139 Look, you want to order something? 312 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:24,076 She will have a greekaccino. 313 00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,244 I don't know what that is. 314 00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:27,529 It... 315 00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:30,014 It's a very strong coffee 316 00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:32,484 with milk from a goat. 317 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,520 I can't believe-ee. 318 00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:36,788 It's a miracle. 319 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,490 She can talk! 320 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,359 No more brain damage. 321 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,027 No more brain damage! 322 00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:47,032 I don't know. 323 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,300 Ladies and gentlemen, 324 00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,169 our special guest speaker will provoke you. 325 00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:54,039 He will inspire you. 326 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,641 He is... 327 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,176 Creed Bratton. 328 00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:03,782 Two eyes, two ears, 329 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:06,017 a chin, a mouth, 330 00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:09,354 ten fingers, two nipples. 331 00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:11,990 A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. 332 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,426 I have just described to you 333 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,528 the loch ness monster. 334 00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:19,397 And the reward for its capture? 335 00:13:19,449 --> 00:13:22,401 All the riches in Scotland. 336 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,503 So I have one question: 337 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,304 Why are you here? 338 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,542 Okay! 339 00:13:30,593 --> 00:13:32,511 All right, ladies and gentlemen, 340 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:36,381 it is now time for the rarest of things, 341 00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:37,799 an actual free lunch. 342 00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,968 There's sandwiches in the back. Certainly help yourselves. 343 00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:41,086 We'll meet back up in an hour. 344 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,220 I picked out our movie. 345 00:13:42,271 --> 00:13:43,672 It's called suspiria. 346 00:13:43,706 --> 00:13:44,873 It pushes all the boundaries. 347 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,158 All your preconceived notions 348 00:13:46,209 --> 00:13:47,993 about what horror can be come crashing down. 349 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,828 - When I win... - Ooh. 350 00:13:49,879 --> 00:13:51,463 - We're gonna watch wall-e, 351 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:54,900 where all the boundaries of color are pushed. 352 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,468 It is hard to explain 353 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,303 why Erin is doing so well today. 354 00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,504 The only thing I can think 355 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,072 is Erin is living out 356 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:04,109 some slumdog millionaire scenario, 357 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,944 where every word she's playing 358 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:10,148 has a connection to her orphan past. 359 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,050 It's possible. 360 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,490 So what's your crazy business pipe dream? 361 00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:20,558 Well, I started my own golf supply company. 362 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,860 Really? 363 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,862 It's taken off faster than I expected, 364 00:14:23,913 --> 00:14:26,431 so I came here to learn about creating manageable growth. 365 00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,236 - Phyllis? - Hmm? 366 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,505 Some of these people are for real. 367 00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:37,959 Hey, friend. How's it going? 368 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,744 Oh, you know what? Let me steep that for you. 369 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:42,964 Thank you. 370 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,015 Hey, you know what? 371 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:45,967 Good news. We're back in. 372 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,919 Let's go sell some paper, buddy. Huh? 373 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:48,970 Really? 374 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,456 Ahem! 375 00:14:51,507 --> 00:14:54,792 - Excuse me. - I got it. I got it. 376 00:14:54,844 --> 00:14:57,229 Hey, do you need a lozenge? 377 00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:58,796 They're a bunch a jackals. 378 00:14:58,848 --> 00:15:00,131 What? 379 00:15:00,183 --> 00:15:01,733 They left you in the lurch, 380 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,235 and if they want to jump in, 381 00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,821 it means you're almost there. 382 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,606 You did this. 383 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,040 Bring it home. 384 00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:18,416 Let me tell you what you can do 385 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,185 with your offer to help. 386 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,153 You can table it and offer it up another time. 387 00:15:22,205 --> 00:15:23,988 Just know that I really appreciate the gesture. 388 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,026 Hi. Hope you enjoyed your lunch. 389 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,128 Welcome back. 390 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,697 Ooh. Well, hello. 391 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,499 Welcome to the seminar. 392 00:15:34,550 --> 00:15:36,718 Hey, man. What's goin' on? 393 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:38,019 You're gonna blow it. 394 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,554 Maybe. 395 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,439 Only maybe. 396 00:15:47,418 --> 00:15:49,786 I got it. 397 00:15:49,853 --> 00:15:51,520 Oscar, wait. I think the victory 398 00:15:51,572 --> 00:15:52,688 would be more meaningful 399 00:15:52,740 --> 00:15:55,091 if Erin puts the last word in herself. 400 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:57,994 Yes, Pam. 401 00:15:58,062 --> 00:15:59,362 Yes, most definitely. 402 00:15:59,430 --> 00:16:00,362 Yes. Yes. 403 00:16:00,414 --> 00:16:01,714 Ah! No 404 00:16:04,752 --> 00:16:07,720 Although I must say, I will have apoplexy 405 00:16:07,805 --> 00:16:09,472 if you lose. 406 00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:10,673 Do you understand? 407 00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:13,342 Apoplexy is what I will have. 408 00:16:13,394 --> 00:16:15,011 Apoplexy. 409 00:16:15,062 --> 00:16:17,080 - Yes. - Got it. 410 00:16:21,318 --> 00:16:23,019 Oh, Oscar. 411 00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:25,021 Oscar? 412 00:16:25,089 --> 00:16:27,056 I played "ape." 413 00:16:29,493 --> 00:16:31,527 I just want to make a point to that last caller. 414 00:16:31,595 --> 00:16:32,929 I disagree. 415 00:16:32,996 --> 00:16:34,731 I don't think it is the running game at all. 416 00:16:34,798 --> 00:16:37,266 I think we do have to make a few moves in this off-season. 417 00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:38,317 Wow! 418 00:16:38,385 --> 00:16:40,569 What a day, right? 419 00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:42,705 Guess you guys are probably ready to go. 420 00:16:42,773 --> 00:16:44,724 And you got my business card, so... 421 00:16:44,792 --> 00:16:46,876 Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. 422 00:16:46,927 --> 00:16:48,461 You know, I like you. 423 00:16:48,545 --> 00:16:51,130 I'm going to give you my secret gyro recipe. 424 00:16:51,215 --> 00:16:52,432 Come out here 425 00:16:52,516 --> 00:16:54,383 since it's a secret, and I'll tell you. 426 00:16:56,386 --> 00:16:58,221 All right, you have to close right now. 427 00:16:58,272 --> 00:16:59,555 Yeah, I mean, I'm getting to it. 428 00:16:59,606 --> 00:17:00,957 No, you're not. You're getting past it. 429 00:17:01,024 --> 00:17:02,191 You have to close. You can do it. 430 00:17:02,259 --> 00:17:03,226 Yeah, yeah. 431 00:17:03,277 --> 00:17:04,794 Andy, what's the problem? 432 00:17:04,862 --> 00:17:06,863 This is hard for me. I'm a nice guy. 433 00:17:06,930 --> 00:17:09,365 You know, Kelly and creed, Kevin, 434 00:17:09,432 --> 00:17:11,100 they believe in you. 435 00:17:11,151 --> 00:17:12,902 Don't let them down. 436 00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:15,271 Don't let yourself down, Andy. 437 00:17:15,322 --> 00:17:16,606 I'm gonna go back in. 438 00:17:16,673 --> 00:17:18,975 I'm going to stall them for a little bit. 439 00:17:19,042 --> 00:17:20,609 I want you to get your head together, 440 00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:21,711 and then come back in. 441 00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,246 I want you to close. 442 00:17:23,297 --> 00:17:27,216 What is taking that guy so long? 443 00:17:28,719 --> 00:17:29,919 Psst. 444 00:17:35,392 --> 00:17:36,926 You think this thing's gonna go much longer? 445 00:17:36,977 --> 00:17:38,811 I don't know. They're still in there. 446 00:17:38,896 --> 00:17:39,896 Ohh! Good-bye. 447 00:17:39,963 --> 00:17:42,131 Stop. 448 00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:43,149 Out with it. 449 00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:44,633 Here's the story. 450 00:17:44,685 --> 00:17:46,152 That guy in there 451 00:17:46,236 --> 00:17:49,138 is Jim's childhood friend, tom. 452 00:17:49,189 --> 00:17:50,306 Tom Witochkin. 453 00:17:50,357 --> 00:17:51,908 One of my best buddies, actually. 454 00:17:51,975 --> 00:17:53,876 And when they were both in the third grade, 455 00:17:53,944 --> 00:17:56,078 Jim was placed in the top reading group. 456 00:17:56,146 --> 00:17:58,014 I was blue group, so it was second from the top. 457 00:17:58,081 --> 00:18:00,516 - And tom... - Was in green group. 458 00:18:00,584 --> 00:18:02,485 And Jim's mom suggested 459 00:18:02,553 --> 00:18:04,871 that Jim spend time hanging with the kids 460 00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:06,222 in his reading group, 461 00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:08,691 because she thought that they would be a good influence. 462 00:18:08,759 --> 00:18:10,426 And that's what I told him. 463 00:18:10,493 --> 00:18:11,827 Right. 464 00:18:11,879 --> 00:18:13,329 But how'd you say it? 465 00:18:15,499 --> 00:18:18,100 "My mom thinks you're too dumb to hang out with." 466 00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:21,103 Okay, who would like to purchase 467 00:18:21,171 --> 00:18:24,173 this small business package from me right now? 468 00:18:25,676 --> 00:18:27,643 Yes, we got one. 469 00:18:27,694 --> 00:18:30,396 Okay, the snowball is rolling. 470 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,814 Who else? 471 00:18:34,568 --> 00:18:36,152 You can put it off for a couple of days, 472 00:18:36,203 --> 00:18:38,087 but I guarantee you, 473 00:18:38,155 --> 00:18:40,540 eventually you're gonna realize 474 00:18:40,624 --> 00:18:41,958 you need this. 475 00:18:42,025 --> 00:18:45,461 So the only thing that's gonna be different 476 00:18:45,528 --> 00:18:47,880 is you'll be a couple of days behind 477 00:18:47,965 --> 00:18:52,368 where you would be if you bought this from me right now. 478 00:18:53,703 --> 00:18:55,304 So who's gonna buy one right now? 479 00:18:55,372 --> 00:18:56,839 I'll take one. 480 00:18:56,907 --> 00:18:58,674 Yes! Awesome! 481 00:18:58,725 --> 00:19:01,043 All right, anyone else? 482 00:19:03,263 --> 00:19:04,480 Sold! 483 00:19:04,547 --> 00:19:05,748 Anybody else? 484 00:19:05,816 --> 00:19:07,516 Yes! All right! 485 00:19:07,568 --> 00:19:09,718 - Yeah, bitch. - Good choice. 486 00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:12,021 The rest of you are dead to me. 487 00:19:12,089 --> 00:19:13,856 You made the stupidest decisions of your life. 488 00:19:13,924 --> 00:19:15,724 No, no, no. 489 00:19:15,776 --> 00:19:17,276 But it was a pleasure meeting you, 490 00:19:17,361 --> 00:19:18,661 and you've got my information, 491 00:19:18,728 --> 00:19:20,029 so feel free to call anytime. 492 00:19:24,585 --> 00:19:26,035 Hey, you think it's cool if I grab a soda? 493 00:19:26,086 --> 00:19:27,236 Yeah. Whoa. 494 00:19:27,287 --> 00:19:28,771 Yep, absolutely, go ahead. 495 00:19:28,839 --> 00:19:30,072 Hey. 496 00:19:30,123 --> 00:19:32,741 Hey. 497 00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:34,076 How's it goin'? 498 00:19:34,127 --> 00:19:35,745 - Pretty good. - It's been a while. 499 00:19:35,812 --> 00:19:37,680 It has been, yeah. 500 00:19:37,748 --> 00:19:39,048 So you work here, huh? 501 00:19:39,099 --> 00:19:40,082 Sales. 502 00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:41,284 Must be a front 503 00:19:41,351 --> 00:19:43,252 for some kind of famous laboratory. 504 00:19:44,354 --> 00:19:46,022 'Cause you're so smart. 505 00:19:46,089 --> 00:19:48,774 Oh, man. You remember that, huh? 506 00:19:48,859 --> 00:19:49,992 Oh, barely. 507 00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:51,060 I'm so dumb, 508 00:19:51,128 --> 00:19:52,778 you know, stuff goes in, stuff goes out. 509 00:19:52,863 --> 00:19:54,146 Not like you probably remember 510 00:19:54,231 --> 00:19:55,481 every paper sale you ever made. 511 00:19:55,565 --> 00:19:57,566 Paper salesman genius. 512 00:20:00,270 --> 00:20:01,570 - All right, good catch-up. 513 00:20:01,622 --> 00:20:03,456 - Yeah. - See ya. 514 00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:05,157 Where's your jetpack, Zuckerberg? 515 00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:08,828 Andy. 516 00:20:10,013 --> 00:20:11,914 I didn't think you had it in ya. 517 00:20:11,982 --> 00:20:13,816 Well, I guess when you looked in me, 518 00:20:13,884 --> 00:20:15,668 you forgot about my balls. 519 00:20:15,752 --> 00:20:17,286 They're on the outside. 520 00:20:18,505 --> 00:20:19,755 Don't know how you missed 'em. 521 00:20:21,174 --> 00:20:22,624 Wonderful seminar! 522 00:20:22,676 --> 00:20:23,626 Almost as good 523 00:20:23,694 --> 00:20:26,795 as the day when we first met. 524 00:20:26,847 --> 00:20:29,632 You are the love of my life. 525 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:32,368 Come to me, necropolis. 526 00:20:32,436 --> 00:20:34,353 Put your lips on my lips. 527 00:20:34,438 --> 00:20:36,572 Come on. 528 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,640 Michael, I should get back to work. 529 00:20:38,692 --> 00:20:39,942 What? Come on. 530 00:20:39,993 --> 00:20:41,861 It's time for grapes. 531 00:20:44,881 --> 00:20:46,248 Real fun day. 532 00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:51,190 - So, I won. - I know. 533 00:20:51,274 --> 00:20:52,741 You get to pick. 534 00:20:52,809 --> 00:20:55,144 Well, that's actually what I came to talk to you about. 535 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,712 I know how much you want to watch wall-e. 536 00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:58,180 Yes? 537 00:20:58,248 --> 00:21:00,574 So I got us a compromise. 538 00:21:00,575 --> 00:21:03,698 This movie is called hardware, it tells the story of a killer 539 00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:05,554 combat robot, just like wall-e 540 00:21:05,770 --> 00:21:08,242 that the government invented to destroy humans. 541 00:21:08,277 --> 00:21:10,838 It's some of what you like and some of what I like. 542 00:21:10,873 --> 00:21:14,857 I heard you talked about movies before 543 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:18,159 **** 544 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,230 there's a Shrek 2? 545 00:21:20,231 --> 00:21:23,098 Oh, yeah. 546 00:21:23,099 --> 00:21:24,625 Nice guy. 547 00:21:24,626 --> 00:21:25,626 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com