1
00:00:01,250 --> 00:00:03,504
Everybody, can I please
have your attention?
2
00:00:03,624 --> 00:00:06,144
Ryan and I have a huge announcement.
3
00:00:06,264 --> 00:00:09,264
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
4
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,447
Over the weekend,
Ryan Bailey Howard and I got divorced.
5
00:00:12,567 --> 00:00:14,771
- Sweet.
- Free ring.
6
00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:16,239
Divorced?
7
00:00:16,359 --> 00:00:18,879
Just so you know, it's totally amicable.
We're fine.
8
00:00:18,946 --> 00:00:20,881
We don't need people here
to take sides.
9
00:00:20,948 --> 00:00:23,083
The last thing that we want
is any kind of drama.
10
00:00:23,151 --> 00:00:25,152
Wait, I...
Can you back up?
11
00:00:25,219 --> 00:00:26,486
What's the story?
12
00:00:26,554 --> 00:00:28,321
We were having a beautiful
weekend in the Poconos.
13
00:00:28,389 --> 00:00:30,323
We were making love constantly.
14
00:00:30,391 --> 00:00:33,059
We saw the sun rise,
and Ryan was crying a lot.
15
00:00:33,127 --> 00:00:34,795
- That's not a relevant detail.
- And in the morning,
16
00:00:34,862 --> 00:00:37,330
we walked by a chapel
and we stopped suddenly,
17
00:00:37,398 --> 00:00:38,832
and Ryan said...
18
00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:40,901
"I don't think I should
be married to you anymore."
19
00:00:42,336 --> 00:00:43,670
Wait, wha...
20
00:00:43,738 --> 00:00:45,505
Sorry, when did you get married?
21
00:00:45,573 --> 00:00:47,007
Um, like a week ago.
22
00:00:47,074 --> 00:00:48,608
We got really wasted,
and it just felt right.
23
00:00:48,676 --> 00:00:50,377
And you didn't invite any of us?
24
00:00:50,445 --> 00:00:51,945
We are getting divorced, Andy!
25
00:00:52,013 --> 00:00:54,581
This is such a raw time.
26
00:00:54,649 --> 00:00:56,216
God, baby, you know,
with people's reactions to this,
27
00:00:56,284 --> 00:00:57,918
I wonder if we made a mistake.
28
00:00:57,985 --> 00:01:00,454
No, with the messed-up laws
in this country,
29
00:01:00,521 --> 00:01:04,090
I don't want to be married
until everyone can be married.
30
00:01:04,158 --> 00:01:05,158
You know what, Ryan?
31
00:01:05,226 --> 00:01:06,460
I talked to the other gay guys,
32
00:01:06,527 --> 00:01:07,861
and we're okay with it.
33
00:01:07,929 --> 00:01:09,129
We all agreed it's fine
for you to get married.
34
00:01:09,197 --> 00:01:10,163
No. No, Oscar.
35
00:01:10,231 --> 00:01:12,065
Not... not until
everyone can.
36
00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:13,633
Ryan, I changed my mind.
37
00:01:13,701 --> 00:01:14,768
Okay, fine.
You know what?
38
00:01:14,836 --> 00:01:16,069
This actually
isn't amicable at all,
39
00:01:16,137 --> 00:01:18,472
and we actually do need people
to take sides.
40
00:01:18,539 --> 00:01:19,606
Who's on my side?
41
00:01:21,509 --> 00:01:24,244
And who is on my side?
42
00:01:31,385 --> 00:01:41,292
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,570
All right, bye.
44
00:01:50,638 --> 00:01:51,805
- Bye.
- Let's go.
45
00:01:51,873 --> 00:01:53,006
Just a minute!
46
00:01:53,074 --> 00:01:55,308
- How long do we have to wait?
- For what?
47
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,377
You broke up with A.J. weeks ago.
48
00:01:57,445 --> 00:01:59,613
Don't you have
a sales call to go on?
49
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,448
I don't understand.
I really don't, I mean...
50
00:02:01,516 --> 00:02:03,917
We know we're gonna
start dating... Why not now?
51
00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:05,519
- We don't know that.
- Sure we do.
52
00:02:05,586 --> 00:02:06,686
Why is it such a certainty
53
00:02:06,754 --> 00:02:07,988
that we're supposed
to be together?
54
00:02:08,055 --> 00:02:09,756
Why does the sun
rise in the morning?
55
00:02:09,824 --> 00:02:11,591
Why do magnets stick together?
56
00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:14,294
Because everybody says so.
Everybody.
57
00:02:14,362 --> 00:02:16,530
Michael, I can't keep getting
into a situation
58
00:02:16,597 --> 00:02:18,765
where I date
whoever I'm working with.
59
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:20,300
Well you can
understand that.
60
00:02:20,368 --> 00:02:21,401
Yeah, I understand.
61
00:02:21,469 --> 00:02:22,502
I just don't agree.
62
00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:24,538
Well, you don't have to agree.
63
00:02:24,605 --> 00:02:25,539
Yes, I do.
64
00:02:25,606 --> 00:02:26,840
No, you don't.
65
00:02:26,908 --> 00:02:28,108
Yes, I do.
66
00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:29,442
No, you can have
your own opinion...
67
00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:31,611
I have my own opinion,
and my opinion
68
00:02:31,679 --> 00:02:32,612
is to disagree with you.
69
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:33,980
He's gonna be a lot of fun
70
00:02:34,048 --> 00:02:35,582
to drive around in a car with.
71
00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:37,017
Ah, you'll get through it, hon.
72
00:02:37,084 --> 00:02:38,385
Just make a game out of it.
73
00:02:38,452 --> 00:02:41,288
A funny Jim game.
74
00:02:41,355 --> 00:02:43,557
That's it?
That's all I get?
75
00:02:43,624 --> 00:02:45,292
Even after all the hard work
I put into
76
00:02:45,359 --> 00:02:46,660
celebrating your talent today.
77
00:02:46,727 --> 00:02:48,295
All right, what'd you do?
78
00:02:48,362 --> 00:02:50,630
Well, those things
that you consider doodles
79
00:02:50,698 --> 00:02:51,831
I consider art.
80
00:02:54,602 --> 00:02:55,702
Where'd you put it?
81
00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:57,604
- Where'd I put what?
- Let's go.
82
00:02:57,672 --> 00:02:58,838
Oh, sorry.
I gotta go.
83
00:02:58,906 --> 00:03:00,173
- Say it. Where?
- Okay, fine.
84
00:03:00,241 --> 00:03:02,475
Three hints: One,
when you're getting colder,
85
00:03:02,543 --> 00:03:03,476
you're really getting warmer.
86
00:03:03,544 --> 00:03:04,945
- The fridge.
- Two!
87
00:03:05,012 --> 00:03:07,681
You have a better chance
if you think Bob Vance.
88
00:03:07,748 --> 00:03:08,748
The fridge, got it.
89
00:03:08,816 --> 00:03:09,816
- And the final clue...
- Let's go!
90
00:03:09,884 --> 00:03:11,084
You know what?
Just think about it.
91
00:03:11,152 --> 00:03:13,787
- You'll be fine.
- Bye.
92
00:03:15,056 --> 00:03:17,557
Holly is ruining Michael's life.
93
00:03:17,625 --> 00:03:20,260
He thinks she's so special.
94
00:03:20,328 --> 00:03:22,495
And she's so not.
95
00:03:22,563 --> 00:03:24,631
Her personality is like a three,
96
00:03:24,699 --> 00:03:25,966
her sense of humor is a two,
97
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:29,736
her ears are like a seven
and a four.
98
00:03:29,804 --> 00:03:31,237
Add it all up,
and what do you get?
99
00:03:31,305 --> 00:03:32,572
16.
100
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,774
And he treats her
like she's a perfect 40.
101
00:03:34,842 --> 00:03:36,476
It's nuts.
102
00:03:42,383 --> 00:03:44,217
Cheer up.
We made a sale.
103
00:03:44,285 --> 00:03:46,052
Just drive faster.
I wanna get back.
104
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,721
Well, I'm going the speed limit.
105
00:03:47,788 --> 00:03:49,389
Okay, fine.
106
00:03:49,457 --> 00:03:51,191
My feelings don't matter to you.
107
00:03:51,258 --> 00:03:53,026
What matters to you
is your precious speed limit.
108
00:03:53,094 --> 00:03:54,894
Someone's in a bad mood.
109
00:03:54,962 --> 00:03:57,597
No, I'm not.
110
00:03:57,665 --> 00:04:01,234
I'm not in a bad mood.
111
00:04:01,302 --> 00:04:05,005
I'm not, Jim.
Hello?
112
00:04:05,072 --> 00:04:06,606
Okay, fine, ignore me.
113
00:04:06,674 --> 00:04:07,674
Have it your way.
114
00:04:07,742 --> 00:04:09,242
Let's just talk about you.
115
00:04:09,310 --> 00:04:11,411
As always.
116
00:04:11,479 --> 00:04:13,446
Sex different
after the baby, Jim?
117
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:14,848
All right, let me
turn on some music.
118
00:04:14,915 --> 00:04:16,282
- I need to pee!
- No, you don't.
119
00:04:16,350 --> 00:04:18,018
Yeah, I do.
My word against yours.
120
00:04:18,085 --> 00:04:19,686
All right, well,
we'll be there in ten minutes.
121
00:04:19,754 --> 00:04:23,289
What part of "I need to pee"
do you not understand?
122
00:04:23,357 --> 00:04:25,692
I'm upset, my bladder is full,
123
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,895
there is no telling
what I might do, right now,
124
00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:31,798
all over the inside of your
precious little car.
125
00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:33,767
All right, well,
if I see a gas station,
126
00:04:33,834 --> 00:04:36,169
- I'll pull over.
- Well, I hope I make it.
127
00:04:38,673 --> 00:04:39,606
Hello?
128
00:04:39,674 --> 00:04:41,875
Hi, Jim, it's Helene.
129
00:04:41,942 --> 00:04:44,377
Hey, Helene.
Is everything okay?
130
00:04:44,445 --> 00:04:46,279
Everything's fine.
Baby's fine.
131
00:04:46,347 --> 00:04:48,715
She has a tiny fever.
I'm taking her for a checkup.
132
00:04:48,783 --> 00:04:50,583
Nothing to worry about, uh...
133
00:04:50,651 --> 00:04:51,651
Okay.
134
00:04:51,719 --> 00:04:55,088
A tiny thing.
I locked her in the car.
135
00:04:55,156 --> 00:04:57,390
- What?
- She's smiling. She's happy.
136
00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:59,092
- Oh, my God.
- Jim, I... Jim...
137
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,427
- Oh, my God.
- I don't have a spare key.
138
00:05:00,494 --> 00:05:01,561
Just... just stay there.
139
00:05:01,629 --> 00:05:03,163
I'll be there in one second.
140
00:05:03,230 --> 00:05:04,664
Michael!
141
00:05:05,833 --> 00:05:07,033
Michael!
142
00:05:08,269 --> 00:05:09,469
Excuse me, sir, there's a...
143
00:05:09,537 --> 00:05:10,603
There's a guy in the bathroom.
144
00:05:10,671 --> 00:05:12,138
He's coming out,
but I have to go,
145
00:05:12,206 --> 00:05:13,373
'cause it's an emergency.
146
00:05:13,441 --> 00:05:14,541
Will you just tell him
to call the office?
147
00:05:14,608 --> 00:05:16,042
Just call...
Call the office.
148
00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:17,711
Thank you! Please?
149
00:05:27,855 --> 00:05:29,055
Hello?
150
00:05:52,046 --> 00:05:54,247
- This is Pam.
- Hey, it's me.
151
00:05:54,315 --> 00:05:56,349
So, uh, don't worry.
Everything's okay.
152
00:05:56,417 --> 00:05:58,485
- What's wrong?
- Nothing, absolutely nothing.
153
00:05:58,552 --> 00:06:00,520
But you're not holding a cup of
coffee or anything, are you?
154
00:06:00,588 --> 00:06:02,522
- Jim, what?
- Uh...Okay.
155
00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:04,290
So Cece had a little bit
of a fever.
156
00:06:04,358 --> 00:06:06,292
And your mom also
locked her in the car.
157
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,194
- Oh, God. What?
- No, no, no, it's okay.
158
00:06:08,262 --> 00:06:09,562
So Cece's with daddy now,
159
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:11,765
and she is laughing
and she's happy,
160
00:06:11,832 --> 00:06:13,166
and we're on our way
to see Dr. Barbara.
161
00:06:13,234 --> 00:06:14,534
Okay, so she's okay?
162
00:06:14,602 --> 00:06:17,170
Yes, and your mom got
a very well-deserved day off.
163
00:06:17,238 --> 00:06:18,605
So here's the thing, though.
164
00:06:18,672 --> 00:06:20,373
I left Michael at the gas station
165
00:06:20,441 --> 00:06:21,374
on Bennett.
166
00:06:21,442 --> 00:06:22,742
Understood.
167
00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:24,611
And his wallet and phone are
on the seat next to him.
168
00:06:24,678 --> 00:06:26,212
Got it.
169
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,081
I will put out an A.P.B.
170
00:06:28,149 --> 00:06:31,151
otherwise known as
an "Ask Pam Beasley."
171
00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:35,054
Did the phone cut out?
172
00:06:35,122 --> 00:06:36,322
Nope.
173
00:06:36,390 --> 00:06:38,324
All right, just call me
after the doctor.
174
00:06:38,392 --> 00:06:39,392
- Okay.
- All right, bye.
175
00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:40,393
Bye.
176
00:06:40,461 --> 00:06:41,661
I know, I know.
177
00:06:41,729 --> 00:06:43,163
You have a phone policy.
I understand.
178
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:44,330
But this is an emergency,
179
00:06:44,398 --> 00:06:45,698
because my friend isn't here,
180
00:06:45,766 --> 00:06:49,536
and I'm worried
that he has been abducted.
181
00:06:49,603 --> 00:06:51,104
- No.
- And... and...
182
00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:53,573
No, he ditched you, man.
I saw him drive away.
183
00:06:53,641 --> 00:06:55,375
There's no way he ditched me.
184
00:06:55,442 --> 00:06:56,709
There's no way that happened.
185
00:06:56,777 --> 00:06:58,077
He's my... Okay.
186
00:06:58,145 --> 00:06:59,679
May I please just
use your phone? Please.
187
00:06:59,747 --> 00:07:00,780
Just make it quick.
188
00:07:00,848 --> 00:07:02,115
Thank you. Okay.
189
00:07:02,183 --> 00:07:04,484
I will make it quick.
I will make it very quick.
190
00:07:04,552 --> 00:07:07,987
And you don't have my numbers
on speed dial.
191
00:07:08,055 --> 00:07:11,057
Aah, okay, what is it?
192
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,058
You don't know.
193
00:07:12,126 --> 00:07:13,226
- Oh, co... come...
- You don't.
194
00:07:13,294 --> 00:07:14,394
You know what?
195
00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:15,595
I could dial 411,
get Jim's number...
196
00:07:15,663 --> 00:07:19,032
He left you here
on purpose, all right?
197
00:07:19,099 --> 00:07:20,266
I saw it.
198
00:07:20,334 --> 00:07:21,734
He just drove away.
199
00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:23,269
Actually, this is good.
200
00:07:23,337 --> 00:07:26,272
I am going
to take this opportunity
201
00:07:26,340 --> 00:07:30,443
to go walkabout.
202
00:07:30,511 --> 00:07:34,047
Good, good.
203
00:07:34,114 --> 00:07:35,548
No, get away.
204
00:07:35,616 --> 00:07:39,219
No. That's enough.
205
00:07:39,286 --> 00:07:42,622
Okay.
206
00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:44,257
Okay.
207
00:07:44,325 --> 00:07:46,059
It's the gas station
on Bennett Street?
208
00:07:46,126 --> 00:07:47,060
Yeah.
209
00:07:47,127 --> 00:07:48,161
You know what?
210
00:07:48,229 --> 00:07:49,329
Why don't you stay and I'll go?
211
00:07:49,396 --> 00:07:50,597
Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine.
212
00:07:50,664 --> 00:07:52,365
It's kind of a sketchy
neighborhood, though.
213
00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:53,366
I better come along.
214
00:07:53,434 --> 00:07:55,335
Problem solved, everyone.
215
00:07:55,402 --> 00:07:57,237
Space Orphan
and Princess Nincompoop
216
00:07:57,304 --> 00:07:58,438
are off to rescue Michael.
217
00:07:58,505 --> 00:08:00,707
Unbelievable.
I'm going.
218
00:08:00,774 --> 00:08:02,709
You drive.
I got a car full of fox meat.
219
00:08:06,814 --> 00:08:08,982
Cute.
220
00:08:13,487 --> 00:08:15,255
Very funny, everyone.
221
00:08:15,322 --> 00:08:18,191
Who wrote captions
under my doodle?
222
00:08:18,259 --> 00:08:20,293
I'm not even kidding.
They're pretty good.
223
00:08:20,361 --> 00:08:22,128
- Which one in particular?
- Yeah, which one?
224
00:08:22,196 --> 00:08:25,198
Well, the first one
has a surprise factor.
225
00:08:25,266 --> 00:08:27,467
"I'm a suck-suck-suckety Sabre."
226
00:08:27,534 --> 00:08:28,468
Boo-yah!
227
00:08:28,535 --> 00:08:30,370
No. No, no.
228
00:08:30,437 --> 00:08:31,471
No, no, no.
229
00:08:31,538 --> 00:08:33,573
But, uh, I suppose the second one
230
00:08:33,641 --> 00:08:34,774
is the better written line.
231
00:08:34,842 --> 00:08:37,243
- You suppose?
- What's it say?
232
00:08:37,311 --> 00:08:38,845
"I'm supposed
to be wearing red gloves,
233
00:08:38,913 --> 00:08:41,681
but my color cartridge portal
got jammed again."
234
00:08:41,749 --> 00:08:44,284
Okay, no, no, no, no, no.
235
00:08:44,351 --> 00:08:45,518
Gloves.
236
00:08:45,586 --> 00:08:46,953
Keep it real.
237
00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:48,855
You guys, if I knew you
wanted to do a caption contest,
238
00:08:48,923 --> 00:08:50,623
I would have drawn
something more challenging.
239
00:08:50,691 --> 00:08:53,092
- And I will take you all down.
- You?
240
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,627
I been reading
the comics to my daughter
241
00:08:54,695 --> 00:08:56,296
since she was three years old.
242
00:08:56,363 --> 00:08:58,865
Not once have I used the real
captions to Family Circus.
243
00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:01,501
That crazy family is hilarious
to her for one reason...
244
00:09:01,568 --> 00:09:02,869
Me.
245
00:09:02,937 --> 00:09:04,404
Oh, it is on
246
00:09:04,471 --> 00:09:07,540
like Genghis Khan
wearing Sean John in Bhutan.
247
00:09:07,608 --> 00:09:10,343
Yes. You guys,
I have the perfect idea.
248
00:09:10,411 --> 00:09:11,811
Okay, it'll just
take me ten minutes.
249
00:09:11,879 --> 00:09:13,279
- Whoo-hoo!
- All right.
250
00:09:13,347 --> 00:09:14,347
I want to do it.
251
00:09:14,415 --> 00:09:17,216
Male, Caucasian, 40s, black hair,
252
00:09:17,284 --> 00:09:19,986
facial type marsupial.
253
00:09:20,054 --> 00:09:22,255
He answers to Michael,
Michael G. Scott,
254
00:09:22,323 --> 00:09:24,490
Michael J. Fox, Mr. Fox,
the Incredible Mr. Fox.
255
00:09:24,558 --> 00:09:26,759
- Yeah, he just left.
- Which way did he go?
256
00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:29,028
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
let me answer this.
257
00:09:29,096 --> 00:09:31,197
Stupid question.
He went back to the office,
258
00:09:31,265 --> 00:09:32,398
obviously, which is that way.
259
00:09:32,466 --> 00:09:33,533
Oh, really?
260
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,101
You don't think
he walked by that bakery
261
00:09:35,169 --> 00:09:36,636
just for the smell of it?
262
00:09:36,704 --> 00:09:39,939
She's right.
He went that way.
263
00:09:40,007 --> 00:09:42,041
All right.
264
00:09:42,109 --> 00:09:45,845
Don't get a swelled head.
You're no tracker.
265
00:09:45,913 --> 00:09:47,914
Let's ride.
266
00:10:04,234 --> 00:10:06,168
Hey, you guys.
Listen to me.
267
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:08,137
Don't get hung up
on just one girl,
268
00:10:08,205 --> 00:10:10,973
because there are a lot
of other girls over there.
269
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:13,475
Look over there.
See?
270
00:10:13,543 --> 00:10:16,078
They look cute.
271
00:10:16,146 --> 00:10:17,079
Hello.
272
00:10:17,147 --> 00:10:19,281
You guys are so beautiful.
273
00:10:19,349 --> 00:10:21,717
You're so colorful.
274
00:10:21,785 --> 00:10:23,719
I wish I could understand you.
275
00:10:23,787 --> 00:10:25,921
That's a metaphor, I guess.
276
00:10:25,989 --> 00:10:27,890
You are disgusting.
277
00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,125
You'll never find love.
278
00:10:30,193 --> 00:10:31,393
Lecch.
279
00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:32,862
Do you think she needs more time,
280
00:10:32,929 --> 00:10:34,296
or it's just never gonna happen?
281
00:10:34,364 --> 00:10:36,699
I'm being serious.
Seriously.
282
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:37,833
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Pam.
283
00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:39,101
Has Michael checked in?
284
00:10:39,169 --> 00:10:41,604
- Oh, hey, Dwight.
- I asked you a question.
285
00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,706
- No, he hasn't.
- Okay, bye.
286
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,541
No, wait, um, hey,
while you're out,
287
00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:47,576
could you pick up some paper
towels and chocolate syrup?
288
00:10:47,644 --> 00:10:49,245
We have ice cream,
so I thought we could...
289
00:10:49,312 --> 00:10:50,579
Pam, this isn't a shopping trip.
290
00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:52,381
This is a manhunt-slash-rescue
mission.
291
00:10:52,449 --> 00:10:53,782
Okay, I just...
292
00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:55,618
When you're done,
or any time it's convenient,
293
00:10:55,685 --> 00:10:57,019
I just thought
since you're out...
294
00:10:57,087 --> 00:10:58,954
Pam, I'm obviously
gonna get that stuff for you,
295
00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:00,155
so just shut up.
God.
296
00:11:00,223 --> 00:11:02,825
Okay, well, it wasn't ob...
297
00:11:02,893 --> 00:11:04,193
No word from Michael.
298
00:11:06,463 --> 00:11:08,063
Tada.
299
00:11:08,131 --> 00:11:13,168
Okay, it's two giant dogs
with two giant palm trees
300
00:11:13,236 --> 00:11:14,603
on a regular-sized island.
301
00:11:14,671 --> 00:11:15,871
- Oh, I got one.
- Yeah?
302
00:11:15,939 --> 00:11:17,907
- Yes.
- Okay, I'm sorry,
303
00:11:17,974 --> 00:11:19,541
but I'm gonna have
to shut this down.
304
00:11:19,609 --> 00:11:21,577
- Boo.
- Why?
305
00:11:21,645 --> 00:11:23,345
Unless we can all agree
to some ground rules.
306
00:11:23,413 --> 00:11:26,282
It's either that
or I can fax this to Jo
307
00:11:26,349 --> 00:11:27,883
and let her decide
how to proceed.
308
00:11:27,951 --> 00:11:30,452
Gabe, tell us your stupid rules
309
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,854
so we can start the game.
310
00:11:31,922 --> 00:11:33,455
Number one,
and this should be obvious,
311
00:11:33,523 --> 00:11:35,891
no captions that insult
the company we work for.
312
00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:37,660
Irony is such a critical...
313
00:11:37,727 --> 00:11:41,931
Number two,
no pop culture references.
314
00:11:41,998 --> 00:11:44,199
- Seriously?
- Wow.
315
00:11:44,267 --> 00:11:45,701
I think we can all agree
316
00:11:45,769 --> 00:11:47,736
they tend to alienate those
who don't get the reference,
317
00:11:47,804 --> 00:11:48,938
making them feel like the other.
318
00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:50,372
Wrap it up, Gabe.
319
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,808
Okay, final thing,
and this is a fun one,
320
00:11:52,876 --> 00:11:56,745
instead of writing the caption
directly under the picture,
321
00:11:56,813 --> 00:11:58,681
let's all try using sticky quips.
322
00:11:58,748 --> 00:12:01,417
All right?
New from Dunder Mifflin-Sabre.
323
00:12:01,484 --> 00:12:05,220
Sticky quips are fun,
they're safe, they're handy.
324
00:12:05,288 --> 00:12:07,690
I like to use sticky quips
as regular post-it notes
325
00:12:07,757 --> 00:12:09,425
when I'm in a fun mood.
326
00:12:09,492 --> 00:12:11,093
Not every day.
327
00:12:11,161 --> 00:12:12,928
Go get 'em.
Start quipping.
328
00:12:15,765 --> 00:12:17,433
Pam, I think
I'm gonna send you an I.M.
329
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,335
Oh, okay.
330
00:12:19,402 --> 00:12:20,536
Send me one too.
331
00:12:20,603 --> 00:12:21,870
Yeah, yeah, yeah, put me on that.
332
00:12:21,938 --> 00:12:24,673
- C.C.
- Ditto.
333
00:12:24,741 --> 00:12:26,742
Hello.
334
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:28,577
I would like a hot dog, please.
335
00:12:28,645 --> 00:12:30,145
Now, I don't have any money,
336
00:12:30,213 --> 00:12:32,948
so here is what
I would like to do.
337
00:12:33,016 --> 00:12:35,351
I leave you here with my watch,
338
00:12:35,418 --> 00:12:37,920
and I come back later
and I pay for the hotdog.
339
00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:39,355
I'm not a pawn shop.
340
00:12:39,422 --> 00:12:43,192
Well, I understand that,
but this is a $45 watch.
341
00:12:43,259 --> 00:12:44,193
Wow.
342
00:12:44,260 --> 00:12:45,961
With that, I could buy...
343
00:12:46,029 --> 00:12:47,129
Half the menu.
344
00:12:47,197 --> 00:12:48,731
I can't just go
giving away hotdogs.
345
00:12:48,798 --> 00:12:50,099
All right.
346
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:52,301
What do you do with the hotdogs
that you don't sell?
347
00:12:52,369 --> 00:12:53,669
Throw 'em away.
348
00:12:53,737 --> 00:12:55,704
Well, okay, instead of
throwing them all away later,
349
00:12:55,772 --> 00:12:57,506
why don't you just throw
one away now into my mouth.
350
00:12:57,574 --> 00:12:58,607
No.
351
00:12:58,675 --> 00:13:01,977
Okay.
You've just lost my business.
352
00:13:09,953 --> 00:13:11,153
Hey.
353
00:13:11,221 --> 00:13:12,454
Hey, you were in there forever.
354
00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:14,323
There's too many brands.
Where's Holly?
355
00:13:14,391 --> 00:13:17,192
She wandered off like an idiot.
356
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:18,193
- Hey.
- Hey.
357
00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:19,395
What are you doing?
358
00:13:19,462 --> 00:13:21,296
Oh, just changing
my cell phone plan.
359
00:13:21,364 --> 00:13:23,532
Okay. Okay.
Here you go.
360
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,601
I'll take my free
stress ball too now.
361
00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:27,436
Sure thing.
Here you go, miss...
362
00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:29,405
Okay, Fanny Smellmore.
363
00:13:29,472 --> 00:13:31,740
- Real original.
- What?
364
00:13:31,808 --> 00:13:33,976
You know what? Say hi
to Orville Tootenbacher for me.
365
00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:35,711
Tootenbacher.
366
00:13:35,779 --> 00:13:37,046
Orville Tootenbacher,
367
00:13:37,113 --> 00:13:38,347
that's Michael's
millionaire character that...
368
00:13:38,415 --> 00:13:39,982
Farts popcorn.
369
00:13:40,050 --> 00:13:41,850
Of course. He was here.
370
00:13:41,918 --> 00:13:45,721
She's the key. Amazing.
371
00:13:45,789 --> 00:13:47,589
Holly.
372
00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:51,093
Hey, where would you
like to go next?
373
00:13:51,161 --> 00:13:54,763
Holly?
374
00:13:54,831 --> 00:13:58,033
Are their egg rolls
really that big?
375
00:13:58,101 --> 00:14:00,769
Oh, boy.
That was yummy.
376
00:14:00,837 --> 00:14:02,812
Thank you so much.
377
00:14:09,579 --> 00:14:12,014
You know what? I think
I left my wallet in my car.
378
00:14:12,082 --> 00:14:13,315
Do you mind
if I run out and get it?
379
00:14:13,383 --> 00:14:14,383
- No problem.
- Okay.
380
00:14:14,451 --> 00:14:21,723
I'll be right back.
381
00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:24,226
Okay, you know what?
382
00:14:24,294 --> 00:14:27,329
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
383
00:14:27,397 --> 00:14:31,300
I don't have my wallet.
And I was...
384
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:33,135
I was gonna try to dine and dash,
385
00:14:33,203 --> 00:14:34,603
and that was stupid,
386
00:14:34,671 --> 00:14:36,872
and I realize I can't do that
to you fine people.
387
00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:38,373
So you can't pay for your food?
388
00:14:38,441 --> 00:14:41,210
Well, I can, but I will have
to come back later tonight
389
00:14:41,277 --> 00:14:43,212
and pay you.
390
00:14:43,279 --> 00:14:45,447
But the point is
I did the right thing.
391
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:46,782
You did not.
392
00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:47,916
You have no money,
393
00:14:47,984 --> 00:14:49,384
but you dined,
and you dined so much.
394
00:14:49,452 --> 00:14:52,788
Well, the number three
is not such a giant feast.
395
00:14:52,856 --> 00:14:53,889
Mr. Chu!
396
00:14:53,957 --> 00:14:56,125
Okay, all right.
You know what?
397
00:14:56,192 --> 00:14:58,494
You're trying
to steal food from us?
398
00:14:58,561 --> 00:14:59,595
I am not.
399
00:14:59,662 --> 00:15:01,463
I just have had a bad day,
400
00:15:01,531 --> 00:15:04,967
and I...
Okay.
401
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,268
I'll be back later
with the money.
402
00:15:06,336 --> 00:15:07,436
I'm just gonna leave right now.
403
00:15:07,504 --> 00:15:08,637
You can't.
We'll stop you.
404
00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:11,206
Well, I think
I can get through the door.
405
00:15:18,057 --> 00:15:20,226
Excuse me.
Do you speak English?
406
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,418
We are looking for a man,
407
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:25,855
Michael, this tall,
black hair, Caucasian.
408
00:15:25,922 --> 00:15:27,957
It's Michael!
409
00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:33,029
He just left.
410
00:15:33,096 --> 00:15:35,197
- You knew!
- What?
411
00:15:35,265 --> 00:15:36,932
No. Dwight asked
if I wanted an egg roll.
412
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,634
What... What are you
implying?
413
00:15:38,702 --> 00:15:41,570
Uncanny.
Put a pin in that.
414
00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:43,606
Which way did he go?
415
00:15:43,673 --> 00:15:46,175
That guy!
When he leave here,
416
00:15:46,243 --> 00:15:49,111
which way did he go?
We looking for him.
417
00:15:49,179 --> 00:15:51,247
This way, this way, this way?
I don't know.
418
00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:52,681
Do you know?
419
00:15:52,749 --> 00:15:54,383
I think he was heading downtown.
420
00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:58,120
He's heading downtown.
421
00:16:03,393 --> 00:16:05,094
So what, no one's even gonna try?
422
00:16:05,162 --> 00:16:07,263
- Guess not.
- Oh, come on.
423
00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:10,066
My rules could not possibly
have been that oppressive.
424
00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:12,068
You crushed our spirits, Gabe.
425
00:16:12,135 --> 00:16:14,937
Congrats.
You're a big man, huh?
426
00:16:15,005 --> 00:16:17,706
Takes a lot to destroy
the creativity
427
00:16:17,774 --> 00:16:19,408
of a whole group of people.
428
00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:28,551
Hey...
429
00:16:31,288 --> 00:16:34,123
Click the "x".
430
00:16:34,191 --> 00:16:35,458
- I'm clicking!
- In the box.
431
00:16:35,525 --> 00:16:36,926
I am clicking.
432
00:16:36,993 --> 00:16:38,561
Woman, you've had
a computer for years!
433
00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:39,962
- Phyllis!
- Too late!
434
00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:43,099
Oh. Ha.
An I.M. chat.
435
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:44,667
Very clever.
436
00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:47,336
I'll just print that out.
437
00:16:47,404 --> 00:16:48,804
Come on, guys.
Grow up.
438
00:16:48,872 --> 00:16:52,241
I don't want to be
your babysitter.
439
00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:56,479
Ooh.
440
00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:13,362
"Darn it, Bob,
I told you not to buy
441
00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:14,763
a Sabre brand lifeboat."
442
00:17:16,466 --> 00:17:18,434
- Nice!
- No, not nice.
443
00:17:18,502 --> 00:17:19,969
Terrible.
444
00:17:20,036 --> 00:17:21,971
Doesn't even include
the fact that they're dogs.
445
00:17:22,038 --> 00:17:23,939
- Do the next one.
- "Wake up, Fred.
446
00:17:24,007 --> 00:17:25,841
"The power cord
on your Sabre printer
447
00:17:25,909 --> 00:17:27,476
"shocked you into a coma,
448
00:17:27,544 --> 00:17:29,478
and you're dreaming you're a dog
on a desert island."
449
00:17:29,546 --> 00:17:32,748
Dreaming he's a dog on an island.
450
00:17:32,816 --> 00:17:34,250
Uh, excuse me, excuse me.
451
00:17:34,317 --> 00:17:36,685
How does the speaker know what
the guy in the coma is dreaming?
452
00:17:36,753 --> 00:17:38,220
Well, if you think
it's so easy, Gabe,
453
00:17:38,288 --> 00:17:40,356
- why don't you try it?
- Um...
454
00:17:40,423 --> 00:17:43,425
You don't have to sniff
my rear end anymore, Bob.
455
00:17:43,493 --> 00:17:45,261
I'm the only one here.
Ha.
456
00:17:45,328 --> 00:17:46,529
That's tasteless, Gabe.
457
00:17:46,596 --> 00:17:48,130
- Tasteless?
- Tasteless.
458
00:17:48,198 --> 00:17:49,198
More tasteless than this?
459
00:17:49,266 --> 00:17:50,566
"Is that a palm tree,
460
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,067
"or did Gabe get skinner?
461
00:17:52,135 --> 00:17:53,302
Either way, let's pee on it.
462
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,975
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think we have a winner.
463
00:18:00,043 --> 00:18:01,677
- Yes.
- Yes. Well done!
464
00:18:01,745 --> 00:18:03,512
Whose is it?
Who wrote that?
465
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:06,182
Yeah.
Who wrote it?
466
00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:10,252
Please. It was easy
once I decided
467
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,556
I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe.
468
00:18:13,623 --> 00:18:15,191
Where did he go, Holly?
469
00:18:15,258 --> 00:18:16,725
I have no idea.
470
00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:19,495
Do you see a little clown
that you wanna follow, huh?
471
00:18:19,563 --> 00:18:21,363
Is there a little bird
that's chirping to you,
472
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:22,464
"this way, this way."
473
00:18:22,532 --> 00:18:24,033
I don't know.
474
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,301
Okay. Close your eyes.
475
00:18:25,368 --> 00:18:27,169
We need you to think.
476
00:18:27,237 --> 00:18:28,537
What is Michael seeing right now?
477
00:18:28,605 --> 00:18:30,573
Can you tell him
that we miss him?
478
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,807
Michael, we're coming for you!
479
00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:32,875
Will you stop?
480
00:18:32,943 --> 00:18:34,410
There have been
a few coincidences...
481
00:18:34,477 --> 00:18:35,411
That's all!
482
00:18:35,478 --> 00:18:37,046
All right, then.
483
00:18:37,113 --> 00:18:39,181
- Someone propose a plan.
- Okay.
484
00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:41,684
- We fan out...
- Not you, Erin.
485
00:18:42,953 --> 00:18:45,187
Stop looking at me like that.
486
00:18:45,255 --> 00:18:47,156
Okay, look, let's just
go up somewhere high
487
00:18:47,224 --> 00:18:49,425
and see if we could spot him
on the street below.
488
00:18:49,492 --> 00:18:52,228
That is the stupidest idea
I've ever heard. No.
489
00:18:52,295 --> 00:18:55,264
Tap into your common mind and
tell us what he would do next.
490
00:18:55,332 --> 00:18:58,734
Look, I'm not playing.
I'm gonna go look for him.
491
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:02,504
- Good. We don't need her.
- Right.
492
00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:04,940
I can do this on my own.
I can think like Michael.
493
00:19:05,008 --> 00:19:07,276
All right...
494
00:19:07,344 --> 00:19:09,645
I'm deep below the ocean's
surface in a submarine.
495
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,847
A torpedo's coming right at me.
496
00:19:11,915 --> 00:19:14,950
No. Damn it, that's just
my own imagination.
497
00:19:16,586 --> 00:19:17,853
Maybe he's bowling.
498
00:19:52,722 --> 00:19:54,723
Michael?
499
00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:58,260
Hi.
500
00:20:00,697 --> 00:20:03,232
How did you know I was up here?
501
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:04,733
What are you doing up here?
502
00:20:04,801 --> 00:20:05,934
I got turned around.
503
00:20:06,002 --> 00:20:07,636
I thought I could see
Dunder Mifflin.
504
00:20:07,704 --> 00:20:09,305
Dunder Mifflin?
505
00:20:09,372 --> 00:20:10,773
Yeah.
506
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,410
Wow!
507
00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:19,948
I just miss you so much.
508
00:20:24,521 --> 00:20:26,388
I missed you too.
509
00:20:26,456 --> 00:20:28,590
Really?
510
00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:31,393
Yeah.
511
00:20:33,596 --> 00:20:34,930
Can I kiss you?
512
00:20:34,998 --> 00:20:37,533
- Yeah.
- Okay.
513
00:20:38,106 --> 00:20:46,469
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
514
00:20:46,806 --> 00:20:48,806
Maybe that's not the best one.
Keep reading.
515
00:20:48,926 --> 00:20:50,426
- Yeah, it was.
- Maybe it wasn't.
516
00:20:50,546 --> 00:20:54,674
Oh, thank God, I had a horrible nightmare
that I was stuck in America with Gabe.
517
00:20:57,264 --> 00:20:59,595
No, that's not the one I was thinking of.
Keep going.
518
00:20:59,715 --> 00:21:00,952
I know what it smells like
519
00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:02,335
but I didn't roll in anything,
520
00:21:02,455 --> 00:21:05,240
It's from listening
to all of Gabe's bullshit.
521
00:21:06,621 --> 00:21:09,170
Isn't this the perfect
romantic getaway, Erin?
522
00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:12,086
Sitting on a desert island
in dog costumes?
523
00:21:12,206 --> 00:21:14,412
I'm Gabe and... I'm a weirdo.
524
00:21:16,123 --> 00:21:17,453
Gabe's mom...
525
00:21:17,573 --> 00:21:19,298
Mm, Gabe's mom?
526
00:21:19,418 --> 00:21:22,125
Wait, tall woman?
Looks like Gabe?
527
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,841
Yeah, I banged her.
528
00:21:24,961 --> 00:21:27,121
Yeah, there you go.