1
00:00:01,390 --> 00:00:02,440
It is 6 AM.

2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,467
Deangelo and I
are about to go house to house

3
00:00:05,592 --> 00:00:08,172
to give everybody
their Dundies nomination certificate.

4
00:00:08,297 --> 00:00:09,846
Just like the Oscars.

5
00:00:10,180 --> 00:00:13,469
- And this happens every year?
- Every year this happens.

6
00:00:13,635 --> 00:00:15,676
You have a lot to learn, my friend.

7
00:00:16,888 --> 00:00:18,574
Well, why don't we try it,

8
00:00:18,699 --> 00:00:21,268
and if it goes good,
it'll be part of my tradition.

9
00:00:21,434 --> 00:00:23,896
Why are you even saying that?
You're gonna love it.

10
00:00:24,696 --> 00:00:25,697
Here we go.

11
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,607
This one.
This way.

12
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:33,864
Nice house.

13
00:00:35,031 --> 00:00:36,903
- Surprise!
- Congratulations!

14
00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:41,709
You and Pam have both
been nominated for Dundie awards.

15
00:00:43,416 --> 00:00:44,458
There we go!

16
00:00:44,624 --> 00:00:46,335
- Have Pam come out.
- She's not here.

17
00:00:46,651 --> 00:00:47,809
What's going on?

18
00:00:47,934 --> 00:00:48,879
Stay in bed.

19
00:00:49,045 --> 00:00:50,673
- Congratulations.
- We love you.

20
00:00:50,839 --> 00:00:52,095
Have you lost your mind?

21
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,760
Get off my property
before I call the police.

22
00:00:56,297 --> 00:00:57,701
All right, we got it.
Good.

23
00:00:57,826 --> 00:01:00,000
- Leave it at the door?
- Yeah, that's fine.

24
00:01:06,698 --> 00:01:08,314
Hey, Toby, you suck!

25
00:01:09,983 --> 00:01:11,235
Is this our employee?

26
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:13,956
Go, go, go.

27
00:01:15,407 --> 00:01:17,242
I've never seen this place
in the daylight.

28
00:01:17,367 --> 00:01:19,176
This reminds me of Katrina.

29
00:01:21,135 --> 00:01:22,185
Here we go.

30
00:01:22,881 --> 00:01:23,882
All right.

31
00:01:24,322 --> 00:01:26,022
You got it?
Are we set?

32
00:01:26,930 --> 00:01:27,931
Hello?

33
00:01:30,337 --> 00:01:32,663
I'm so busted.
Walk of shame.

34
00:01:33,675 --> 00:01:36,269
Do you usually
leave your door unlocked and ajar?

35
00:01:37,857 --> 00:01:40,543
Nice!
I got a Dundie nomination.

36
00:01:40,972 --> 00:01:43,376
- That's right. No big deal.
- Congratulations, Meredith.

37
00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:44,810
Well, we should head out.

38
00:01:44,976 --> 00:01:46,187
No, you gotta stay.

39
00:01:46,353 --> 00:01:49,139
No, I have Vienna sausages
and I have napkins.

40
00:01:49,264 --> 00:01:50,891
Let me fix you breakfast.

41
00:01:51,924 --> 00:01:53,436
I'm not going in there.

42
00:01:57,234 --> 00:01:58,240
Go.

43
00:02:01,451 --> 00:02:03,913
- Feygnasse Team -

44
00:02:04,079 --> 00:02:05,372
.:: La Fabrique ::.

45
00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:10,711
{\pos(270,155)}7x21 : <i>Michael's Last Dundies</i>

46
00:02:13,285 --> 00:02:14,215
Good morning.

47
00:02:14,549 --> 00:02:15,841
Hey, didn't see you.

48
00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:18,332
- Any big plans for tonight?
- I don't know.

49
00:02:18,457 --> 00:02:20,380
Maybe volunteer
at the women's shelter,

50
00:02:20,505 --> 00:02:21,305
go to bed.

51
00:02:21,471 --> 00:02:23,098
Or, I don't know,

52
00:02:23,656 --> 00:02:26,475
maybe I'm going to the Dundies!

53
00:02:28,054 --> 00:02:29,480
You are getting so funny.

54
00:02:30,056 --> 00:02:30,856
Very good.

55
00:02:32,393 --> 00:02:34,395
{\pos(120,268)}The Dundies are my baby,

56
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,039
{\pos(120,268)}and they need to go on.

57
00:02:38,694 --> 00:02:41,423
{\pos(100,268)}When Larry King died,
they didn't just cancel his show.

58
00:02:41,548 --> 00:02:44,578
{\pos(120,268)}They got Piers Morgan
to come in and do his show,

59
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,436
{\pos(120,268)}and that way...

60
00:02:47,019 --> 00:02:48,269
{\pos(120,268)}Larry lives on.

61
00:02:51,209 --> 00:02:52,837
Anything can happen at the Dundies.

62
00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:56,331
{\pos(110,268)}They're like the Golden Globes
but less mean.

63
00:02:56,456 --> 00:02:58,217
{\pos(120,268)}And I want us
to all have a good time.

64
00:02:58,383 --> 00:02:59,673
A little announcement.

65
00:02:59,798 --> 00:03:02,596
Remember,
the Dundies is a black tie affair.

66
00:03:02,762 --> 00:03:04,139
Black tie optional.

67
00:03:04,612 --> 00:03:06,392
Every day is black tie optional.

68
00:03:06,558 --> 00:03:10,104
FYI, tonight we will be hosting
at Louie Volpe's.

69
00:03:11,146 --> 00:03:13,649
- I love their breadsticks.
- Their breadsticks are like crack.

70
00:03:13,815 --> 00:03:16,861
{\pos(117,268)}I love when people say "like crack"
who have obviously never done crack.

71
00:03:17,177 --> 00:03:19,569
{\pos(117,268)}Their breadsticks are like what then?
What can I use?

72
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:22,776
Something from your world.
"The breadsticks are like scrapbooking."

73
00:03:23,283 --> 00:03:25,160
{\pos(120,268)}You're right.
I'm a middle class fraud.

74
00:03:26,745 --> 00:03:29,915
{\pos(117,268)}Everybody's right.
They're like breadsticks on steroids.

75
00:03:30,081 --> 00:03:31,738
{\pos(120,268)}- Right?
- Yeah, that's great.

76
00:03:32,042 --> 00:03:33,835
{\pos(110,268)}So as you know,
the Dundies are my legacy.

77
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,673
{\pos(120,268)}So I'm gonna need
to train a replacement.

78
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,132
{\pos(120,268)}So this year I have decided
to have a co-host.

79
00:03:39,181 --> 00:03:40,602
And that person is...

80
00:03:43,781 --> 00:03:44,782
{\pos(120,268)}Deangelo.

81
00:03:46,973 --> 00:03:49,223
{\pos(120,268)}Always the Padawan, never the Jedi.

82
00:03:49,935 --> 00:03:51,272
{\pos(120,268)}Thank you, Michael,

83
00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:53,755
{\pos(120,268)}but I will have to pass.

84
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,108
It's part of your training.

85
00:03:56,274 --> 00:03:59,403
I'm not much of a performer,
unless you count singing in the shower.

86
00:04:01,613 --> 00:04:02,735
Boy, okay.

87
00:04:04,272 --> 00:04:05,409
We'll work on it.

88
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,355
{\pos(120,268)}Look, I'm very, very bad.

89
00:04:07,869 --> 00:04:09,288
You're doing it.

90
00:04:09,454 --> 00:04:12,166
Guys, I want you
to help us work on some banter.

91
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,454
{\pos(120,268)}I love banter.

92
00:04:15,135 --> 00:04:17,254
{\pos(120,268)}- But I hate witty banter.
- Here we go.

93
00:04:18,421 --> 00:04:21,759
{\pos(110,268)}So, Deangelo,
you and I have a lot in common.

94
00:04:21,925 --> 00:04:23,712
{\pos(120,268)}You lost 200 pounds,

95
00:04:23,837 --> 00:04:26,320
{\pos(120,268)}and I lose my car keys
every morning.

96
00:04:27,306 --> 00:04:28,307
That is true.

97
00:04:28,473 --> 00:04:30,337
{\pos(110,268)}We do share some similarities.

98
00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:32,694
{\pos(110,268)}I know how you can fix
one of those problems.

99
00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:36,273
{\pos(120,268)}For me, it was portion control.
For you, you need a key chain.

100
00:04:37,348 --> 00:04:40,444
{\pos(120,268)}- Maybe hang it on the...
- Okay, I didn't actually lose my keys.

101
00:04:40,851 --> 00:04:42,358
{\pos(120,268)}So this did not happen?

102
00:04:43,196 --> 00:04:45,946
{\pos(120,268)}There needs to be what
you call a rat-a-tat.

103
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,249
{\pos(120,268)}And it's all rat and no tat.

104
00:04:48,861 --> 00:04:50,009
Ryan, come on up here.

105
00:04:50,134 --> 00:04:52,490
Deangelo, if you'd just...
Tap Deangelo out.

106
00:04:52,615 --> 00:04:54,208
- If I can see it...
- Just watch us.

107
00:04:55,873 --> 00:04:58,286
{\pos(120,275)}- Ryan, how are you today?
- Ask my therapist.

108
00:04:58,411 --> 00:05:00,548
{\pos(120,268)}- My mom pays her enough.
- There you go!

109
00:05:01,461 --> 00:05:02,299
Lovely.

110
00:05:02,465 --> 00:05:03,843
Regis and Kelly.

111
00:05:03,968 --> 00:05:06,011
Nice.
Use that as an inspiration.

112
00:05:06,177 --> 00:05:07,346
Just be funny.

113
00:05:08,105 --> 00:05:10,432
You sir, are we having fun tonight?

114
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,226
- Having a great time.
- Good.

115
00:05:12,798 --> 00:05:14,854
- Where were you on September 11th?
- No, gosh.

116
00:05:16,652 --> 00:05:18,148
- What?
- This is so weird.

117
00:05:18,314 --> 00:05:20,630
If I'm conducting a meeting,
good to go.

118
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:23,946
But if I think of it as a performance,
I fall apart obviously.

119
00:05:24,276 --> 00:05:27,533
Think of hosting the Dundies
like you're running a meeting.

120
00:05:28,927 --> 00:05:30,877
This is the performance of your life.

121
00:05:31,244 --> 00:05:33,789
Why don't you in your own head
think of it like a meeting?

122
00:05:33,955 --> 00:05:35,958
Jim, please, no loopholes.

123
00:05:36,124 --> 00:05:38,919
Mike, why do you have to control
how he perceives it in his mind?

124
00:05:39,085 --> 00:05:41,030
This is my last Dundies ever.

125
00:05:41,155 --> 00:05:43,567
If I want mind control over him,

126
00:05:43,906 --> 00:05:45,092
is that too much to ask?

127
00:05:49,237 --> 00:05:50,502
Good. Good.

128
00:05:52,108 --> 00:05:54,852
Now tell me something terrible
that happened in your childhood.

129
00:05:55,018 --> 00:05:58,010
When I was very young,
my mother divorced my father

130
00:05:58,135 --> 00:06:00,316
and I had to go to court
to choose between them.

131
00:06:00,482 --> 00:06:03,323
Too personal.
I don't wanna hear about that stuff.

132
00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:04,862
Let's try this, put this on.

133
00:06:06,269 --> 00:06:08,866
I am going to turn this on.

134
00:06:09,338 --> 00:06:11,327
And turn the volume all the way up

135
00:06:11,785 --> 00:06:14,734
so you're not going to be able
to hear yourself.

136
00:06:15,207 --> 00:06:17,958
Read this
and it's going to sound perfect.

137
00:06:18,124 --> 00:06:21,469
The Dundies are com...
All about coming together!

138
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,924
And recognizing the indomitability

139
00:06:25,090 --> 00:06:26,509
of the human spirit!

140
00:06:26,675 --> 00:06:27,999
Say it with an accent.

141
00:06:28,124 --> 00:06:29,374
The Dundies...

142
00:06:30,055 --> 00:06:31,155
The Dundies!

143
00:06:32,055 --> 00:06:35,057
I don't understand the desire
to push sweet potato fries on me.

144
00:06:35,182 --> 00:06:36,982
I just want regular fries.

145
00:06:40,711 --> 00:06:42,141
Hey, Erin, everything okay?

146
00:06:42,266 --> 00:06:43,734
Get away.
He's gonna see you.

147
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,110
Who's gonna see us?

148
00:06:45,276 --> 00:06:46,814
Get in.
Just get in.

149
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:48,189
Get in the car?

150
00:06:49,511 --> 00:06:50,711
Please! Sorry.

151
00:06:51,526 --> 00:06:52,527
Get in.

152
00:06:53,284 --> 00:06:54,498
Sorry, sorry.

153
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:55,704
What's wrong?

154
00:06:55,968 --> 00:06:58,249
I eat lunch in the car now.
It's my alone time.

155
00:06:59,707 --> 00:07:01,794
It's just nice
to have some time away from Gabe.

156
00:07:02,085 --> 00:07:04,046
Why don't you wanna eat lunch
with your boyfriend?

157
00:07:04,212 --> 00:07:06,841
I really don't like
spending time with him.

158
00:07:07,537 --> 00:07:09,628
Don't you think it's better
to tell him the truth now,

159
00:07:09,753 --> 00:07:12,012
rather than waste more of his time?

160
00:07:15,884 --> 00:07:17,794
- I think I'm gonna go.
- What?

161
00:07:17,919 --> 00:07:19,336
I think you got this.

162
00:07:20,881 --> 00:07:22,857
- All right? Feel better.
- Thank you, Jim.

163
00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:24,341
I'm sorry.

164
00:07:24,797 --> 00:07:27,047
That just wasn't interesting to me.

165
00:07:28,452 --> 00:07:29,822
I can't just dump him.

166
00:07:29,988 --> 00:07:31,866
I'm not like you.
I can't be mean.

167
00:07:32,032 --> 00:07:33,319
Wait, when am I...

168
00:07:34,602 --> 00:07:36,624
You just have to be clear and firm.

169
00:07:36,904 --> 00:07:38,322
Tell him you don't love him.

170
00:07:38,447 --> 00:07:39,992
Just be honest with him.

171
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,664
- Hi.
- Appalling.

172
00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:48,261
Eyesore.

173
00:07:49,507 --> 00:07:50,968
Surprisingly adequate.

174
00:07:51,585 --> 00:07:52,386
Everyone,

175
00:07:52,687 --> 00:07:56,140
the festivities
commence in four seconds.

176
00:07:56,729 --> 00:07:58,893
Deangelo, Jo's on the phone for you.

177
00:08:00,977 --> 00:08:03,565
Deangelo,
we're in serious horse manure here.

178
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:06,692
The Dundies are tonight,
and we ain't got no host.

179
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,799
Luckily, I have someone for you.

180
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,197
- Billy Crystal?
- Better.

181
00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:12,725
Neil Patrick Harris?

182
00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:15,319
He's in <i>Little Shop of Horrors</i>
on Broadway.

183
00:08:15,444 --> 00:08:16,785
We need Michael Scott,

184
00:08:16,951 --> 00:08:20,351
the best darn Dundies host
both sides of the Mississippi.

185
00:08:22,825 --> 00:08:24,675
I gotta find Michael Scott.

186
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,523
And then I gotta...

187
00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:29,882
get him to the Dundies!

188
00:08:30,856 --> 00:08:32,885
Can you help me find Michael Scott,
Angela?

189
00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:36,805
My boyfriend can.
He's a state senator.

190
00:08:38,027 --> 00:08:39,369
Oh, no, he can't help,

191
00:08:39,494 --> 00:08:41,227
because that title has no meaning.

192
00:08:42,657 --> 00:08:44,757
Try Jim.
He'll be able to help.

193
00:08:47,145 --> 00:08:48,943
Do you know where is Michael Scott?

194
00:08:49,387 --> 00:08:51,570
I totally don't know
where Michael is, dude.

195
00:08:53,029 --> 00:08:54,907
You wanna listen to some records?

196
00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:57,910
No one's listening to me!
I'm running out of time.

197
00:08:58,757 --> 00:09:00,329
What are you talking about?

198
00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:07,294
I've fallen and I can't get up.

199
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:09,751
Maybe I just need
to look into my heart.

200
00:09:10,213 --> 00:09:12,992
Deangelo, where is Michael Scott?

201
00:09:13,354 --> 00:09:15,251
I'm here.
In a good way.

202
00:09:16,037 --> 00:09:17,388
Been here the whole time.

203
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:21,140
The analytical part of me
wants to examine it.

204
00:09:22,058 --> 00:09:23,853
But I know it has no content.

205
00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:25,314
Ladies and gentlemen,

206
00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,439
please stand up
for your co-host of the evening,

207
00:09:27,977 --> 00:09:29,233
Michael Gary Scott.

208
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,487
Please remain standing

209
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,281
for your other co-host

210
00:09:35,858 --> 00:09:37,283
and new manager,

211
00:09:37,449 --> 00:09:41,313
Deangelo Jeremetrius Vickers!

212
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,130
Is that part of the...

213
00:09:58,804 --> 00:10:01,098
What are you doing?
There's a live audience out there.

214
00:10:01,264 --> 00:10:03,517
Just go do it by yourself,
or get Ryan.

215
00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:05,853
No, Ryan would never do it.
It's too on the radar.

216
00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:06,979
Look.

217
00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:11,233
The boss hosts the Dundies.
It's sort of our perk.

218
00:10:11,399 --> 00:10:13,944
This was not part
of the job description.

219
00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:16,140
Listen to me.
You're not doing this for me.

220
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,908
You're not doing this for you.
You're not even doing this for them.

221
00:10:19,074 --> 00:10:20,459
What am I doing it for?

222
00:10:21,429 --> 00:10:25,011
You're doing it for all those kids
eating off the Louie Volpe's kid's menu,

223
00:10:25,136 --> 00:10:26,999
who are wondering:
"Does it get better?"

224
00:10:27,535 --> 00:10:30,676
What I want you to do
is I want you to say: "It's showtime."

225
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:31,754
Get out there.

226
00:10:32,556 --> 00:10:33,557
I can't.

227
00:10:34,618 --> 00:10:36,634
- Say it.
- Stop hitting me.

228
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:37,968
You can do it.

229
00:10:38,816 --> 00:10:39,966
Hit me again.

230
00:10:40,824 --> 00:10:41,874
Now hit me.

231
00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:44,767
One, two, three.

232
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:46,685
It's showtime.
All right, here we go.

233
00:10:53,942 --> 00:10:55,273
Sorry about the delay.

234
00:10:55,398 --> 00:10:58,572
But we were at the DMV
waiting in line.

235
00:11:00,497 --> 00:11:03,536
Fall asleep right after sex,
huh, guys?

236
00:11:04,415 --> 00:11:05,788
Go back to the script.

237
00:11:05,954 --> 00:11:09,190
There are a lot of great salesmen
in this office.

238
00:11:09,315 --> 00:11:13,254
But one of our great salesmen
is also a great dad,

239
00:11:13,825 --> 00:11:15,756
and a close personal friend of mine.

240
00:11:15,922 --> 00:11:17,021
Jim Halpert,

241
00:11:17,966 --> 00:11:19,635
best dad Dundie!

242
00:11:24,597 --> 00:11:25,766
I don't parent for it,

243
00:11:25,932 --> 00:11:27,921
but I gotta tell you,
it feels pretty good.

244
00:11:28,046 --> 00:11:31,304
Cece, if you're watching this at home,
it's way past your bedtime.

245
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,929
By the way,
how did this get televised?

246
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:35,932
- Well done.
- I don't know.

247
00:11:36,057 --> 00:11:38,279
Maybe being a good dad
is following your own compass.

248
00:11:38,624 --> 00:11:40,374
I don't know.
Thank you.

249
00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:45,995
- Didn't think to mention me.
- Didn't I?

250
00:11:46,321 --> 00:11:49,665
Which moves us to best mom Dundie.

251
00:11:49,831 --> 00:11:53,169
This person, well,
I guess we all sort of consider a mom

252
00:11:53,335 --> 00:11:55,171
around the office.
Meredith Palmer!

253
00:12:04,876 --> 00:12:07,685
I'll tell you one thing,
I'm not gonna be a good mom tonight.

254
00:12:08,473 --> 00:12:09,310
Excuse me.

255
00:12:09,476 --> 00:12:11,687
Can I get a photo of the best mom
and the best dad?

256
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:13,906
Step on up.

257
00:12:14,031 --> 00:12:16,070
- Well, I gotta go do this.
- Why?

258
00:12:16,983 --> 00:12:18,903
Big smiles, folks.
There they are.

259
00:12:19,069 --> 00:12:22,463
Year after year, I catch a lot of flak
on this particular award,

260
00:12:22,588 --> 00:12:24,692
because year after year,
I present this award

261
00:12:24,817 --> 00:12:26,493
to a guy instead of a girl.

262
00:12:26,659 --> 00:12:28,454
Hottest in the office goes to...

263
00:12:29,012 --> 00:12:31,734
Danny Cordray!

264
00:12:34,125 --> 00:12:36,731
How do I feel about not winning
hottest in the office this year?

265
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,346
I'm very relieved.

266
00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:40,229
How do you judge
something like that?

267
00:12:40,354 --> 00:12:41,959
What is his criteria even?

268
00:12:43,509 --> 00:12:44,637
It's so subjective.

269
00:12:44,803 --> 00:12:46,764
Stanley Hudson is a grump.

270
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,057
Everybody knows.

271
00:12:48,421 --> 00:12:49,598
But did you know

272
00:12:49,723 --> 00:12:54,230
that Stanley Hudson is also the face
of a debilitating disease: diabetes.

273
00:12:56,314 --> 00:12:59,902
The diabetes award
goes to Stanley Hudson!

274
00:13:00,903 --> 00:13:02,905
Come on up here, you sick bastard.

275
00:13:05,272 --> 00:13:06,738
I have diabetes too,

276
00:13:06,863 --> 00:13:09,203
but you don't see me
making a big deal about it.

277
00:13:09,515 --> 00:13:12,726
They say he's going to be
my right-hand man.

278
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,749
Ad lib masturbation joke.

279
00:13:16,311 --> 00:13:18,337
I hate this.
I hate it so much.

280
00:13:18,503 --> 00:13:19,620
Dwight Shrute,

281
00:13:19,745 --> 00:13:23,133
please accept
this promising assistant manager Dundie.

282
00:13:25,635 --> 00:13:26,794
Thanks so much.

283
00:13:26,919 --> 00:13:28,807
I want to dedicate this award

284
00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:32,900
to something that we take for granted
in our daily lives.

285
00:13:33,025 --> 00:13:34,645
And that is the humble trash can.

286
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,930
This is for you, trash can!

287
00:13:44,529 --> 00:13:45,865
Who gave you those crayons?

288
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,867
I brought them from home.

289
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:50,531
- Do you have a red?
- This is a cloth tablecloth.

290
00:13:50,656 --> 00:13:52,246
You can't color on it.

291
00:13:52,412 --> 00:13:53,629
Really?

292
00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:58,184
Did you know herpes
affects one out of every five...

293
00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:00,010
sexually active adults?

294
00:14:00,677 --> 00:14:02,047
Pippi Longstocking.

295
00:14:02,213 --> 00:14:03,862
Ronald McDonald's wife.

296
00:14:04,382 --> 00:14:06,927
Ron Howard. Ron Weasley.
What do they all have in common?

297
00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:08,721
Redheads.

298
00:14:08,887 --> 00:14:10,181
Erin Hannon...

299
00:14:11,473 --> 00:14:14,059
Come on up here to receive
your cutest redhead

300
00:14:14,225 --> 00:14:15,796
in the office award!

301
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:17,282
This is bull!

302
00:14:23,925 --> 00:14:26,280
This is the first award
I've ever won in my entire life.

303
00:14:28,073 --> 00:14:29,929
People were right about the Dundies.

304
00:14:30,473 --> 00:14:31,785
They are magical.

305
00:14:33,453 --> 00:14:34,952
But I don't feel it,

306
00:14:35,324 --> 00:14:38,459
and I think that's because
I'm not with the right person.

307
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:39,880
Gabe...

308
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,880
- What?
- We should break up.

309
00:14:43,936 --> 00:14:44,924
What?

310
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:46,800
I'm not attracted to you.

311
00:14:48,809 --> 00:14:51,542
I just...
I cringe when you talk.

312
00:14:52,097 --> 00:14:53,447
I have to be honest.

313
00:14:54,517 --> 00:14:55,935
Right, Pam?

314
00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:01,580
Thank you for hearing me.

315
00:15:03,198 --> 00:15:04,401
This is embarrassing.

316
00:15:06,824 --> 00:15:08,859
I'm obviously really angry at Erin.

317
00:15:08,984 --> 00:15:11,810
Here comes that quarter-life crisis
everyone's talking about.

318
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,330
All right, I'm gonna go.

319
00:15:19,132 --> 00:15:20,282
There you go.

320
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,419
Damn, that was cold.

321
00:15:23,878 --> 00:15:26,632
It is difficult to recognize
the person who will be replacing you.

322
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:29,677
But he is a good guy.

323
00:15:29,843 --> 00:15:34,181
So the Michael Scott award
for best Dundies host

324
00:15:34,347 --> 00:15:36,016
goes to Deangelo Vickers.

325
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:46,527
Speech!

326
00:15:48,611 --> 00:15:49,488
Hold on.

327
00:15:49,654 --> 00:15:51,073
Hold on one second.

328
00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:53,909
Crank it.

329
00:15:56,967 --> 00:15:58,664
I want to...
I feel truly blessed...

330
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:01,375
to be working with all of you.

331
00:16:01,541 --> 00:16:03,502
You know, before this all started,

332
00:16:03,668 --> 00:16:07,173
funny story, I was in the bathroom
vomiting and vomiting.

333
00:16:07,339 --> 00:16:08,786
The men's room.

334
00:16:08,911 --> 00:16:11,594
That's why it's been shut down
for most of the evening.

335
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,304
He's expressing himself.

336
00:16:13,470 --> 00:16:16,972
Hosts don't get Dundies.
This is truly special for me...

337
00:16:18,446 --> 00:16:20,728
- Anyway, it's so much lighter!
- We're done.

338
00:16:20,935 --> 00:16:22,146
That's it.

339
00:16:22,312 --> 00:16:23,638
Michael, are we...

340
00:16:23,763 --> 00:16:24,648
We're done.

341
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,100
So, that is how it ends.

342
00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:30,509
My last Dundies ever.

343
00:16:32,954 --> 00:16:35,858
I was hoping
it would be more like <i>Godfather III</i>.

344
00:16:35,983 --> 00:16:38,600
That wrapped up the whole franchise

345
00:16:38,725 --> 00:16:41,164
in an extremely satisfying way.

346
00:16:41,774 --> 00:16:44,548
But instead, it is like <i>Godfather I</i>.

347
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:48,060
That was very confusing,

348
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:51,050
had maybe three big laughs.

349
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,561
Well.

350
00:16:55,203 --> 00:16:57,515
We were thinking
maybe we could keep this thing going.

351
00:16:58,270 --> 00:16:59,097
What?

352
00:16:59,474 --> 00:17:02,561
I'm the cause of this royal screw-up,
but I would like to see the show go on.

353
00:17:02,727 --> 00:17:04,770
No, don't.
You're being too hard on yourself.

354
00:17:04,895 --> 00:17:06,690
We had
a very truncated rehearsal time.

355
00:17:06,856 --> 00:17:08,946
Let's grab ice cream,
go back to the office,

356
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,528
and finish what we started.

357
00:17:11,188 --> 00:17:13,322
So what you're saying
is you kinda liked it.

358
00:17:13,488 --> 00:17:14,823
I can't get up!

359
00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:17,724
The Phyllis bit,
that was pretty good.

360
00:17:17,849 --> 00:17:19,569
I don't know
that we need to dissect it.

361
00:17:19,694 --> 00:17:21,288
- But that a big laugh.
- It did.

362
00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:22,665
That got a big laugh.

363
00:17:22,831 --> 00:17:24,291
- We were laughing.
- I was.

364
00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:26,919
I have to go to the bathroom.

365
00:17:27,085 --> 00:17:28,087
We're close.

366
00:17:28,253 --> 00:17:29,713
I can go to the gas station.

367
00:17:30,096 --> 00:17:32,967
We should wait here and not get
good seats in the conference room?

368
00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:34,510
We wouldn't be together.

369
00:17:34,925 --> 00:17:36,625
I'll hold it.
I'm fine.

370
00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:40,106
You know, despite a couple hiccups,
I thought that went very well.

371
00:17:40,861 --> 00:17:43,396
I thought it was the worst Dundies
I've ever been to.

372
00:17:43,777 --> 00:17:44,778
Man.

373
00:17:45,177 --> 00:17:47,606
Maybe you should have won
the kind of a bitch award.

374
00:17:48,173 --> 00:17:52,444
Gladly, I'd accept that award,
because a bitch is a female dog.

375
00:17:54,161 --> 00:17:55,961
What?
What are you doing?

376
00:17:57,580 --> 00:18:00,244
Please don't stop so suddenly.
Seatbelt's pressing on my bladder.

377
00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:03,022
Why are you wearing a seatbelt?
You're sitting in the back seat.

378
00:18:03,257 --> 00:18:04,331
What's your problem?

379
00:18:04,497 --> 00:18:06,682
I just don't see
the point to the Dundies.

380
00:18:06,807 --> 00:18:09,869
The jokes were terrible,
the venue's bad, the fashion's boring.

381
00:18:09,994 --> 00:18:11,655
That is unfair.

382
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,841
The clothing was safe but tasteful.

383
00:18:14,007 --> 00:18:16,178
And next time,
why don't you pick a co-host

384
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:18,220
that doesn't have microphone-aphobia.

385
00:18:18,386 --> 00:18:19,805
Whatever you're going to do,

386
00:18:19,971 --> 00:18:21,542
how long is it gonna take?

387
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,141
Ballpark?
'Cause I just...

388
00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:24,810
I've gotta make a decision here.

389
00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:31,525
He is in an all-out sprint.

390
00:18:34,217 --> 00:18:35,617
Please, excuse me.

391
00:18:36,112 --> 00:18:37,531
Here, okay.

392
00:18:38,069 --> 00:18:41,118
By his own admission,
this person actually tried

393
00:18:41,284 --> 00:18:43,219
marijuana in college, so...

394
00:18:43,781 --> 00:18:48,000
the doobie-doobie pothead stoner
of the year award goes to Andy Bernard!

395
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,132
There's a lot of people
I'd like to thank.

396
00:18:55,298 --> 00:18:57,301
But I think
we all actually want to thank you.

397
00:18:59,526 --> 00:19:02,899
I mean, we actually really all want
to thank you for everything.

398
00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:09,230
Something's happening.

399
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:16,172
<i>9,986,000 minutes</i>

400
00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:19,865
<i>We actually sat down and did the math</i>

401
00:19:21,908 --> 00:19:25,616
<i>9,986,000 minutes</i>

402
00:19:26,454 --> 00:19:29,625
<i>That's how many minutes
that you've worked here</i>

403
00:19:30,141 --> 00:19:32,086
- <i>In costumes</i>
- <i>In impressions</i>

404
00:19:33,044 --> 00:19:35,243
- <i>In meetings</i>
- <i>In cups of coffee</i>

405
00:19:35,556 --> 00:19:37,607
<i>For birthdays, more meetings</i>

406
00:19:37,732 --> 00:19:40,052
<i>Email forwards you made us read</i>

407
00:19:40,393 --> 00:19:44,450
<i>9,986,000 minutes</i>

408
00:19:45,432 --> 00:19:48,827
<i>That's like watching </i>Die Hard
<i>80,000 times</i>

409
00:19:49,381 --> 00:19:51,442
<i>You hit me with your car</i>

410
00:19:51,754 --> 00:19:53,910
<i>You helped me get off drugs</i>

411
00:19:54,566 --> 00:19:56,110
<i>I watch you when your sleep</i>

412
00:19:56,276 --> 00:19:58,028
<i>I forgive you for kissing me</i>

413
00:19:58,418 --> 00:20:01,228
<i>Remember to call</i>

414
00:20:01,698 --> 00:20:03,951
<i>You got to remember to call</i>

415
00:20:06,369 --> 00:20:08,999
<i>Love is a gift from up above</i>

416
00:20:10,999 --> 00:20:13,794
<i>Text or call or email or call</i>

417
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,827
<i>Measure</i>

418
00:20:16,338 --> 00:20:18,549
<i>Measure your life in love</i>

419
00:20:42,814 --> 00:20:45,027
Well, this is gonna hurt
like a mother******.

420
00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:48,913
Everyday, millions of Americains

421
00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:50,938
suffer from extreme repulsiveness.

422
00:20:51,373 --> 00:20:54,099
Someone in our midst
is bringing that problem to light.

423
00:20:54,415 --> 00:20:55,544
Toby Flenderson,

424
00:20:55,985 --> 00:20:57,463
please come up here and accept

425
00:20:57,629 --> 00:20:59,146
the extreme repulsiveness award.

426
00:20:59,271 --> 00:21:00,841
- That's so mean.
- It's fine.

427
00:21:01,377 --> 00:21:03,676
It's his last Dundies.
You gotta play along, man.

428
00:21:03,801 --> 00:21:05,001
Come on, Toby.

429
00:21:06,236 --> 00:21:08,766
Here he comes!
All right.

430
00:21:09,052 --> 00:21:10,611
You deserved it.

431
00:21:10,975 --> 00:21:13,938
I really disagree with this.
I think it's kind of hateful.

432
00:21:14,104 --> 00:21:15,564
Although I am a little happy

433
00:21:15,730 --> 00:21:17,973
to have a platform to talk
about the outcome of a case

434
00:21:18,098 --> 00:21:20,486
that I was recently a juror on,
The Scranton strangler.

435
00:21:20,652 --> 00:21:22,363
A man's being put to death.

436
00:21:22,529 --> 00:21:24,327
I was part of the verdict,

437
00:21:24,864 --> 00:21:26,906
and I'm not so sure
he's guilty anymore.