1 00:00:01,144 --> 00:00:02,909 So, coasting time. 2 00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:04,356 It's officially over. 3 00:00:04,702 --> 00:00:07,359 Big changes are coming, and they're coming fast. 4 00:00:08,543 --> 00:00:10,133 If you don't like them, 5 00:00:10,258 --> 00:00:12,937 this is called a door, you can walk right through it. 6 00:00:13,062 --> 00:00:14,450 I'm not here to be your friend. 7 00:00:14,759 --> 00:00:16,946 I like my life outside of this place. 8 00:00:17,071 --> 00:00:18,778 I live to leave at 5:00. 9 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,490 Change number one: Darryl. 10 00:00:21,615 --> 00:00:22,666 Per your request, 11 00:00:23,201 --> 00:00:25,947 the company is sending you to business school at night. 12 00:00:26,072 --> 00:00:27,922 Full ride, deal with it. 13 00:00:28,552 --> 00:00:29,381 Seriously? 14 00:00:29,547 --> 00:00:31,344 Stone cold seriously. 15 00:00:31,841 --> 00:00:33,470 They are trying to figure me out, 16 00:00:33,595 --> 00:00:35,778 and I don't like it. 17 00:00:37,319 --> 00:00:41,064 {\*Once they figure me out }Then they start to tell me what I want to hear. 18 00:00:41,353 --> 00:00:44,010 And I need to quickly figure out who's a good worker, 19 00:00:44,135 --> 00:00:47,062 and who is simply a good mind reader. 20 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:50,108 Because as soon as I'm hearing what I wanna hear, 21 00:00:50,233 --> 00:00:51,683 I'm not gonna care. 22 00:00:52,404 --> 00:00:54,281 Change two: Toby. You're getting a new chair. 23 00:00:55,518 --> 00:00:57,156 - Nice. - Don't thank me. 24 00:00:57,668 --> 00:00:59,392 Hey, don't thank me, guy. 25 00:00:59,989 --> 00:01:01,080 Okay? 26 00:01:01,246 --> 00:01:02,580 I don't care if you like it. 27 00:01:02,998 --> 00:01:05,577 These sound like good ideas, why wouldn't we like them? 28 00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:08,740 I don't care what your favorite flavor is. 29 00:01:08,865 --> 00:01:11,632 Here's a bowl of ice cream, you either like it or you don't. 30 00:01:11,963 --> 00:01:14,112 That's my attitude right now in this room, 31 00:01:14,237 --> 00:01:17,591 that's my attitude on ice cream Thursdays. 32 00:01:18,291 --> 00:01:19,292 All right? 33 00:01:19,973 --> 00:01:21,350 Clear? Any questions? 34 00:01:21,819 --> 00:01:23,719 This all sounds great to me. 35 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:29,307 But I could see how some people 36 00:01:29,588 --> 00:01:31,068 might think that they're bad. 37 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,363 I don't know what to think. 38 00:01:34,958 --> 00:01:36,008 That is a... 39 00:01:36,865 --> 00:01:38,860 An astute observation, Kevin. 40 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,577 Kev's got me pegged. 41 00:01:42,495 --> 00:01:44,915 - Feygnasse Team - 42 00:01:45,081 --> 00:01:47,918 .:: La Fabrique ::. 43 00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:14,361 {\pos(270,155)}7x23 : The Inner Circle 44 00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:17,240 It blows away Vermont in the fall. 45 00:02:17,365 --> 00:02:18,553 Snap, for real? 46 00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:20,534 - Good morning, Deangelo. - Hold on, Pam. 47 00:02:21,153 --> 00:02:22,661 And if you're really serious, 48 00:02:23,236 --> 00:02:24,538 you should go in the spring. 49 00:02:24,704 --> 00:02:25,873 'Cause of the flowers. 50 00:02:26,803 --> 00:02:29,364 {\pos(120,268)}Because the entire state smells like earth. 51 00:02:29,709 --> 00:02:32,505 - Dogwoods, or just the earth? - Yes, Pam. 52 00:02:32,671 --> 00:02:33,787 {\pos(120,268)}Well, good morning. 53 00:02:33,912 --> 00:02:35,533 {\pos(120,268)}I have good news for you. 54 00:02:35,658 --> 00:02:37,426 {\pos(120,268)}I found your new executive assistant. 55 00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:38,594 My friend Carla. 56 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,230 She's got great experience, 57 00:02:40,355 --> 00:02:42,306 we{\* even} considered making her Cece's godmother. 58 00:02:42,472 --> 00:02:44,642 But she had this boyfriend{\* at the time}. Here's her resume. 59 00:02:44,808 --> 00:02:46,496 - Put it with the rest. - Okay. 60 00:02:46,847 --> 00:02:48,103 Hey, dudes. 61 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:52,149 - God, he hates me. - No, he doesn't. 62 00:02:52,315 --> 00:02:53,857 {\pos(120,268)}You get so nervous{\* and hyper} around him. 63 00:02:53,982 --> 00:02:54,782 {\pos(120,268)}I know. 64 00:02:54,907 --> 00:02:57,409 {\pos(120,268)}Every time there's a silence, you're brain's, like... 65 00:02:57,946 --> 00:02:59,999 {\pos(120,268)}It's what he tells you at your{\* little} inner circle meetings? 66 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:02,296 Careful, there is no inner circle. 67 00:03:03,104 --> 00:03:04,628 {\pos(120,268)}There's an inner circle. 68 00:03:06,329 --> 00:03:08,040 There is no inner circle. 69 00:03:08,206 --> 00:03:09,975 {\pos(120,268)}Deangelo just prefers 70 00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,503 {\pos(110,268)}to delegate a few things to a few guys. 71 00:03:12,669 --> 00:03:16,389 {\pos(110,268)}Jim only says that because he's in the inner circle. 72 00:03:17,124 --> 00:03:18,425 {\pos(120,268)}I also say that, 73 00:03:18,758 --> 00:03:21,345 because I am also in the inner circle. 74 00:03:22,647 --> 00:03:23,925 {\pos(120,268)}Did you get that, ma? 75 00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:26,050 {\pos(120,268)}Your boy, Kevin Malone, 76 00:03:26,175 --> 00:03:28,554 {\pos(120,268)}is in the inner circle. 77 00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:33,858 {\pos(120,268)}Which doesn't exist. 78 00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:39,405 {\pos(120,268)}There he is. Got you a coffee. 79 00:03:39,571 --> 00:03:42,193 {\pos(120,268)}Thank you, that was so kind of you. 80 00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:48,409 {\pos(100,268)}- Not a coffee guy I take it? - {\*It's just that }I own the coffee shop. 81 00:03:48,534 --> 00:03:51,034 {\pos(110,268)}So once you've seen sausage being made, 82 00:03:51,553 --> 00:03:53,961 {\pos(120,268)}all you wanna do is make sausage, it's so much fun. 83 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,422 {\pos(120,268)}I've got a sixer. 84 00:03:56,588 --> 00:03:58,591 {\pos(120,268)}"Automatic for the people", on the jukebox. 85 00:03:58,902 --> 00:04:01,117 {\pos(110,268)}Let's hit the park after sundown, come on. 86 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,428 {\pos(120,268)}Pick up some sausage{\* if you want}. 87 00:04:02,749 --> 00:04:05,306 I think you'll find what you're looking for... 88 00:04:05,802 --> 00:04:06,852 over there. 89 00:04:11,102 --> 00:04:12,616 {\pos(120,268)}No matter how many times 90 00:04:12,937 --> 00:04:14,074 {\pos(120,268)}I reach out to Dwight, 91 00:04:14,199 --> 00:04:16,805 {\pos(110,268)}he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. 92 00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:19,574 {\pos(110,268)}It reminds me of my relationship with my son. 93 00:04:19,699 --> 00:04:21,480 {\pos(120,268)}Except there, I'm the Dwight. 94 00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:23,908 Who's the biggest client{\* in the state}? 95 00:04:24,391 --> 00:04:26,202 I say we go get 'em, whatever it takes. 96 00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:27,661 What do you{\* guys} say? 97 00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:29,622 - Yes! - Right? 98 00:04:29,788 --> 00:04:31,134 Or my other idea, 99 00:04:31,259 --> 00:04:32,987 50,000 tiny clients. 100 00:04:33,711 --> 00:04:36,045 I say that we just go for it. 101 00:04:37,327 --> 00:04:39,006 Is that ball lighter than usual? 102 00:04:39,172 --> 00:04:41,425 - It's a Chinatown knock-off? - That's Toys R' Us{\* I think}. 103 00:04:41,591 --> 00:04:42,760 {\*No, that's d}Definitely a knock-off. 104 00:04:42,926 --> 00:04:45,012 {\*You can feel t}The center of gravity is off. Feel that. 105 00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:46,579 What do you think? 106 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:47,754 Yeah, totally. 107 00:04:47,879 --> 00:04:49,391 Jim, you got ripped off big time. 108 00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:50,518 Deangelo! 109 00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:52,895 See{\* what I did there}? That's what you need to do. 110 00:04:53,331 --> 00:04:54,605 Add a little English. 111 00:04:54,771 --> 00:04:56,221 The British are coming. 112 00:04:56,346 --> 00:04:57,441 Deangelo's open! 113 00:04:57,959 --> 00:04:58,960 Hey, Ry. 114 00:04:59,288 --> 00:05:01,316 Your department's killing it, baby. 115 00:05:01,585 --> 00:05:03,151 My pleasure, my treasure. 116 00:05:03,276 --> 00:05:04,151 Keep it up. 117 00:05:04,276 --> 00:05:05,908 The problem with having "it," 118 00:05:06,892 --> 00:05:08,824 or, "the X-factor," 119 00:05:09,328 --> 00:05:11,376 or whatever it is you wanna call it, 120 00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:15,006 is that it's impossible to put into words 121 00:05:15,812 --> 00:05:18,012 what you're bringing to the table. 122 00:05:18,137 --> 00:05:21,004 So to{\* make things} simplify for Deangelo, I just, without lying, 123 00:05:21,129 --> 00:05:24,013 strongly implied that I'm Kelly's supervisor. 124 00:05:24,138 --> 00:05:25,838 It's not{\* even} that much of a stretch. 125 00:05:25,963 --> 00:05:27,805 She pretty much does whatever I say. 126 00:05:27,971 --> 00:05:30,070 - What? - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 127 00:05:30,445 --> 00:05:32,068 Why should I pretend you are my boss? 128 00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:34,103 {\*Because w}What would you have done{\* in that situation, Kelly}? 129 00:05:34,269 --> 00:05:36,897 {\*I'll tell you w}What I would've done for you? I'd lie for you. 130 00:05:37,063 --> 00:05:39,262 But you lie all the time. You lie for no reason. 131 00:05:39,387 --> 00:05:40,693 You just like to lie. 132 00:05:40,859 --> 00:05:42,069 I'd die for you too. 133 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,029 You really would? 134 00:05:44,346 --> 00:05:47,725 Kelly Kapoor, {\*if I don't have}without those call logs on my desk, 135 00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:50,855 we're gonna have to evaluate your future at the company. 136 00:05:52,239 --> 00:05:53,873 Sure thing, Mr. Howard. 137 00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:55,778 Glad he's not my boss. 138 00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,128 You're the best{\*, thank you}. 139 00:06:03,286 --> 00:06:06,289 You know I have a cousin who cracked the secret formula 140 00:06:06,414 --> 00:06:08,596 for a certain popular cola that I shall not name. 141 00:06:09,149 --> 00:06:10,699 So I've never had to buy it. 142 00:06:11,236 --> 00:06:12,286 True story. 143 00:06:12,725 --> 00:06:14,068 I drink my cousin's. 144 00:06:14,193 --> 00:06:15,990 Congratulations on your one cousin. 145 00:06:16,115 --> 00:06:19,106 I have 70. Each one better than the last. 146 00:06:20,025 --> 00:06:21,049 You know what? 147 00:06:21,174 --> 00:06:23,424 Straight up, why don't you like me? 148 00:06:24,319 --> 00:06:26,701 I'm not a suck-up like everyone else{\* around} here. 149 00:06:27,447 --> 00:06:30,678 I do my job well, so why don't you leave me alone, 150 00:06:31,143 --> 00:06:32,528 and let me do it. 151 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:33,454 Okay? 152 00:06:36,289 --> 00:06:37,124 What? 153 00:06:37,819 --> 00:06:39,585 - I'm gonna win you over. - You're not. 154 00:06:39,751 --> 00:06:40,671 - I am. - No. 155 00:06:52,128 --> 00:06:54,725 This former administrative assistant misspelled 156 00:06:54,891 --> 00:06:56,519 "administrative", and "assistant." 157 00:06:56,685 --> 00:06:57,733 The winner. 158 00:06:58,350 --> 00:07:01,083 Under "special skills", Mr. Don Finer 159 00:07:01,637 --> 00:07:03,352 put "juggling." 160 00:07:05,579 --> 00:07:07,430 What's wrong with juggling, Darryl? 161 00:07:08,405 --> 00:07:09,574 I'm a big juggler. 162 00:07:09,851 --> 00:07:12,368 I actually perform a motivational juggling routine. 163 00:07:12,534 --> 00:07:13,850 Seriously? 164 00:07:15,655 --> 00:07:17,426 I'd do it for you here but... 165 00:07:17,848 --> 00:07:20,459 What would you say this room is? 300 square feet? 320? 166 00:07:20,842 --> 00:07:23,181 320, just freeballin' it. 167 00:07:24,212 --> 00:07:25,537 It's a little cramped. 168 00:07:26,273 --> 00:07:28,782 How many square feet out there? 17-18 hundo? 169 00:07:29,217 --> 00:07:30,970 I think it's 18 hundo. 170 00:07:32,038 --> 00:07:33,123 Give or take. 171 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:34,921 Sorry, gang. 172 00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:37,384 Thought my juggling stuff was in the trunk of my car, 173 00:07:37,509 --> 00:07:38,572 but it's not. 174 00:07:39,185 --> 00:07:40,771 Do you think it was stolen? 175 00:07:40,937 --> 00:07:42,189 I got you covered, boss. 176 00:07:42,355 --> 00:07:44,597 Used to play with the parabolas myself. 177 00:07:45,782 --> 00:07:47,153 Got some extra balls. 178 00:07:48,911 --> 00:07:49,912 Sorry... 179 00:07:50,468 --> 00:07:52,825 I never touch another juggler's instruments. 180 00:07:54,993 --> 00:07:56,903 We're all here, I've got the music cued. 181 00:07:57,028 --> 00:07:59,248 Why don't I do my routine without the juggling balls. 182 00:08:01,207 --> 00:08:02,207 Prepare... 183 00:08:02,602 --> 00:08:04,044 to go into the danger zone. 184 00:08:08,929 --> 00:08:10,593 - You weren't kidding. - No, never. 185 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,013 Can someone please 186 00:08:14,813 --> 00:08:16,273 throw me a fifth ball? 187 00:08:16,498 --> 00:08:17,391 If you dare. 188 00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:20,267 Incoming! 189 00:08:20,939 --> 00:08:22,062 And we're on. 190 00:08:23,188 --> 00:08:24,849 Remember, nothing's impossible. 191 00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:41,373 Where's Phyllis? 192 00:08:41,539 --> 00:08:42,539 Here. 193 00:08:44,093 --> 00:08:45,377 Do you believe in me? 194 00:08:46,294 --> 00:08:47,695 'Cause I believe in you. 195 00:08:53,144 --> 00:08:54,220 Feel the connection? 196 00:08:55,204 --> 00:08:58,182 Don't move your head, please, thank you. 197 00:09:00,427 --> 00:09:01,705 Big hand for Phyllis. 198 00:09:02,822 --> 00:09:04,104 That took a lot of guts. 199 00:09:12,092 --> 00:09:13,564 I'm Deangelo Vickers. 200 00:09:13,689 --> 00:09:15,931 Thank you so much. Hope you learned something. 201 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:21,442 He didn't drop a single ball. 202 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,854 Look. 203 00:09:24,165 --> 00:09:26,210 I'm juggling eggs and bowling balls. 204 00:09:26,745 --> 00:09:28,212 I'm juggling with one hand. 205 00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:30,154 No hands. 206 00:09:32,298 --> 00:09:34,927 What could he{\* possibly} stand to gain from a fake juggling routine? 207 00:09:35,093 --> 00:09:38,244 What could he{\* possibly} stand to gain from a real juggling routine? 208 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,307 How can you keep defending him? 209 00:09:40,473 --> 00:09:42,588 He's good at his job, and I like working for him. 210 00:09:42,713 --> 00:09:44,324 Of course you do, Jim. 211 00:09:44,449 --> 00:09:45,437 You're a man. 212 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,731 Deangelo is a huge sexist. 213 00:09:49,109 --> 00:09:51,661 I think if he was a sexist I'd be able to tell. 214 00:09:51,786 --> 00:09:54,196 I took a crapload of women's studies courses at Cornell. 215 00:09:54,523 --> 00:09:56,810 And I wrote my own companion piece to The Vagina Monologues 216 00:09:56,935 --> 00:09:58,436 called The Penis Apologies. 217 00:09:58,561 --> 00:09:59,743 I know a thing or two. 218 00:10:00,493 --> 00:10:02,719 Then how about I'm the head of the accounting department, 219 00:10:02,844 --> 00:10:04,707 but he only ever talks to Kevin. 220 00:10:04,873 --> 00:10:07,217 What about Pam and Kelly? Also department heads. 221 00:10:07,342 --> 00:10:09,795 Has he ever met with you or even asked you to do anything? 222 00:10:15,362 --> 00:10:17,386 How could I not see it? You're so right. 223 00:10:17,552 --> 00:10:19,013 Why don't you talk to him{\* about it}? 224 00:10:19,179 --> 00:10:22,224 And say what? Hey, are you shy or just a sexist? 225 00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:24,448 {\*Why don't you just t}Tell him how his actions are being perceived 226 00:10:24,573 --> 00:10:25,978 by the women in this office. 227 00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:31,183 And if he doesn't listen then he can kiss his penis goodbye. 228 00:10:32,211 --> 00:10:33,379 Am I right, girls? 229 00:10:35,658 --> 00:10:37,078 {\pub}Do you have a second? 230 00:10:37,317 --> 00:10:39,497 I got tons of time, this job's a joke. 231 00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:41,049 So what's up? 232 00:10:42,537 --> 00:10:45,520 Really, it's nothing. I was just talking to Angela. 233 00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,236 And she was... 234 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,919 Saw Jim come in, are we meeting? 235 00:10:50,085 --> 00:10:51,712 Sure, let's make it a meeting. 236 00:10:51,878 --> 00:10:54,408 If it's all right, can I {\*just }have{\*, like,} one minute{\*alone}, {\*just}to go over... 237 00:10:54,798 --> 00:10:56,014 What's the big secret? 238 00:10:56,277 --> 00:10:58,552 Why are you even whispering? Come on, it's the guys. 239 00:10:58,718 --> 00:11:00,802 I know, just the guys. 240 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:04,138 Well, maybe that's part of the problem, I think. 241 00:11:04,424 --> 00:11:07,991 So what happened was I was talking to {\*some of}the department heads. 242 00:11:08,737 --> 00:11:10,689 Some of the female department heads. 243 00:11:11,844 --> 00:11:13,150 - Right? - Hot. 244 00:11:13,316 --> 00:11:17,121 Maybe there's a vibe out there with certain members of the office 245 00:11:17,246 --> 00:11:20,211 that you are... 246 00:11:20,336 --> 00:11:22,906 a little sexist, or... 247 00:11:23,031 --> 00:11:25,204 - Damn! - Wait. 248 00:11:25,370 --> 00:11:26,713 Are you serious? 249 00:11:26,838 --> 00:11:27,957 Who feels this way? 250 00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:32,336 - Like, nobody, it was... - Was it Pam? 251 00:11:32,502 --> 00:11:34,566 That sounds like Pam. You know how she gets. 252 00:11:34,691 --> 00:11:37,633 Deangelo, she can get really bitchy. 253 00:11:40,176 --> 00:11:40,977 Hold on. 254 00:11:41,102 --> 00:11:42,844 Doesn't matter who, okay? 255 00:11:43,324 --> 00:11:45,182 I'm {\*just }happy {\*that}Jim brought it to my attention. 256 00:11:45,348 --> 00:11:47,649 Because honestly, I had no idea. 257 00:11:48,184 --> 00:11:49,751 - That's awesome. - Thank you. 258 00:11:50,270 --> 00:11:52,249 Mom, Ryan's taking us out to dinner tonight. 259 00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:55,727 He's not gonna stand us up like he did last time. 260 00:11:55,852 --> 00:11:57,514 He won't ever stand us up again. 261 00:11:57,639 --> 00:11:59,888 So I am the new customer service supervisor. 262 00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:01,393 When Deangelo's around. 263 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,119 And I'm also a very dutiful boyfriend when... 264 00:12:06,244 --> 00:12:07,953 - All the time. - All the time. 265 00:12:09,047 --> 00:12:11,208 Erin, do you mind running down to the lobby 266 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,128 and bringing up my brand-new executive assistant? 267 00:12:14,294 --> 00:12:16,172 - Absolutely. - Who'd you end up hiring? 268 00:12:16,338 --> 00:12:17,548 I'm glad you asked{\*, Jim}. 269 00:12:18,548 --> 00:12:21,760 Because apparently there's a rumor running around here that I'm a sexist. 270 00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,114 I can't work here effectively 271 00:12:25,239 --> 00:12:27,299 if you guys think I'm something that I'm not. 272 00:12:27,424 --> 00:12:28,684 I'm not a sexist. 273 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,228 Raise your hand if you have a vagina. 274 00:12:41,154 --> 00:12:43,517 Raise your hand if someone you love has a vagina. 275 00:12:46,993 --> 00:12:47,995 {\*Just }About everyone. 276 00:12:48,657 --> 00:12:50,080 What about Deangelo's hand? 277 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,460 He's got 'em both up. 278 00:12:59,673 --> 00:13:01,381 So it bothers me... 279 00:13:01,506 --> 00:13:06,194 when I hear that there's gossip {\*around}here that I treat women lesser than men. 280 00:13:08,139 --> 00:13:11,451 Frankly, we all look a little ridiculous when that happens. 281 00:13:11,936 --> 00:13:13,670 I'm not a feminist, 282 00:13:13,795 --> 00:13:18,400 but I think the men in this office are being given chances that we{\* the women} aren't. 283 00:13:18,858 --> 00:13:20,569 Dwight. What's your take? 284 00:13:21,444 --> 00:13:23,859 What's the argument here? NBA, WNBA. 285 00:13:23,984 --> 00:13:25,827 One is a sport, one is a joke. 286 00:13:25,952 --> 00:13:27,853 I love sports, I love jokes. 287 00:13:28,295 --> 00:13:29,286 Room for all. 288 00:13:29,452 --> 00:13:30,704 Man, your smart. 289 00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:35,455 Welcome. 290 00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:39,889 Everyone. I'd like you to please welcome Jordan Garfield. 291 00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:42,564 This is everyone. 292 00:13:43,049 --> 00:13:45,356 So Jordan, where did you work before? 293 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,304 A law office? 294 00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:48,670 No, Anthropologie. 295 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:52,073 "We don't have this and that size." Pretty lame. 296 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:54,687 Lame? You worked at Anthropologie? 297 00:13:55,478 --> 00:13:57,523 That's{\*, like,} my dream job. How did you {\*even }get that job? 298 00:13:58,077 --> 00:14:00,093 You chose this job over that job? 299 00:14:00,218 --> 00:14:02,744 Back to work, Kelly. We have a lot to get done today. 300 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,991 Is this your first office job then? 301 00:14:09,701 --> 00:14:11,370 No corporate experience whatsoever. 302 00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:13,878 I didn't want anyone with any bad habits. 303 00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:18,919 You coming? 304 00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:20,717 Did he text us? 305 00:14:27,945 --> 00:14:29,430 {\*Jim, }What are you doing? Get in there. 306 00:14:29,596 --> 00:14:31,932 {\*This is not the}No time to take a stand, at least he likes one of us. 307 00:14:32,098 --> 00:14:33,196 He didn't text me. 308 00:14:34,387 --> 00:14:35,269 I'm in. 309 00:14:35,576 --> 00:14:37,021 Andy, what are you doing? 310 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,958 I'm going in to the belly of the beast. 311 00:14:41,404 --> 00:14:44,154 I'm gonna infiltrate and change from within. 312 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,619 What's up, man cave! 313 00:14:51,084 --> 00:14:52,134 Just go in. 314 00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,497 Just go in, he probably{\* just} forgot to text you. 315 00:14:54,663 --> 00:14:56,846 Internally for office use. 316 00:14:58,030 --> 00:14:59,799 Where do we get our paper from? 317 00:14:59,924 --> 00:15:01,174 Do we go and... 318 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:05,013 Don't worry, the first day's always the hardest. 319 00:15:11,714 --> 00:15:12,723 Can I help you? 320 00:15:40,125 --> 00:15:42,044 He kicked you out of the inner circle. 321 00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:43,886 No, there is no inner circle. 322 00:15:48,216 --> 00:15:50,261 {\pub}Deangelo wanted me to ask you if {\*there's anything }I could help you{\* with}? 323 00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:51,426 Really? 324 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:53,430 Anything? 325 00:15:53,712 --> 00:15:55,266 Do you need anything? 326 00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:59,108 Tell your whore to leave me alone! 327 00:16:01,646 --> 00:16:05,457 I do not wanna waste your time, so I will keep this brief! 328 00:16:05,734 --> 00:16:08,237 Now, word on the street is mercy hospital. 329 00:16:08,522 --> 00:16:09,655 Back on the market. 330 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:12,408 Deangelo would like you to put together a sales pitch for next week. 331 00:16:12,574 --> 00:16:14,627 Deangelo has also recently learned 332 00:16:14,752 --> 00:16:16,602 about the Barnacle Project, 333 00:16:17,203 --> 00:16:19,999 which is a non-profit organization based in Mystic, Connecticut, 334 00:16:20,165 --> 00:16:22,793 that assists in the scraping of barnacles... 335 00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:24,195 So this is my life. 336 00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:27,098 Until I win the lottery. 337 00:16:28,973 --> 00:16:31,844 Or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books. 338 00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:34,403 So one afternoon while walking home from school, 339 00:16:34,528 --> 00:16:38,340 quirky tenth grader Becky Walters finds a wounded Pegasus in the woods. 340 00:16:39,046 --> 00:16:42,388 And she becomes "The horse flyer". 341 00:16:44,354 --> 00:16:47,067 Kelly, that's the last time I'll{\*m gonna } talk to you about your paycheck. 342 00:16:47,541 --> 00:16:49,096 We pay you a fair salary here. 343 00:16:49,444 --> 00:16:51,787 {\*and }If you're only here for the money, {\*maybe }you shouldn't be here{\* at all}. 344 00:16:51,912 --> 00:16:53,407 No one likes a money-grubber. 345 00:16:54,982 --> 00:16:56,273 I'm sorry, Mr. Howard. 346 00:16:56,398 --> 00:16:59,215 I apologize for grubbing for money... 347 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:00,929 I can't do this. 348 00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,686 I'm sorry, I just can't do it. 349 00:17:02,811 --> 00:17:04,710 Deangelo, Ryan is not my boss. 350 00:17:04,876 --> 00:17:07,163 Frankly, he hasn't had a real job here in years. 351 00:17:08,662 --> 00:17:10,382 That's hilarious, Kelly. 352 00:17:10,548 --> 00:17:13,442 No, he's just a big fraud, Deangelo. He's like Rango. 353 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,194 He doesn't work here, basically, 354 00:17:15,319 --> 00:17:17,563 just like the way Rango didn't save those animals. 355 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,308 It was {\*just }a big misunderstanding. 356 00:17:20,562 --> 00:17:21,894 Is this true, Ryan? 357 00:17:22,631 --> 00:17:23,896 I did not see Rango. 358 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,565 I don't have time for this "he said, she said". 359 00:17:26,731 --> 00:17:28,984 - He's not saying anything! - It's too murky. 360 00:17:30,151 --> 00:17:31,151 I like Ryan, 361 00:17:31,861 --> 00:17:33,572 you seem kind of hysterical to me. 362 00:17:34,088 --> 00:17:36,867 Ryan's your supervisor. Let's just leave it that way. 363 00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:39,537 But it's not fair, I've been working here for such a long... 364 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,414 Close call. 365 00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,916 Why don't you {\*just }finish this up 366 00:17:44,082 --> 00:17:46,961 and leave it on my desk and I will see you{\* at your place} around 2:00 A.M. 367 00:17:57,849 --> 00:17:59,154 Angry dunk. 368 00:18:00,432 --> 00:18:04,709 It sounds like you {\*guys }are having{\*a lot of} fun, but it's {\*really }loud and {\*some of us }we're trying to work. 369 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,850 {\*Do you think }You could do it a little more quietly? 370 00:18:06,975 --> 00:18:09,601 Well,{\* that's gonna} it'll be tough because we're getting a dunking clinic 371 00:18:09,726 --> 00:18:11,442 from magic Jordan himself. 372 00:18:12,051 --> 00:18:13,751 You mean Michael Jordan? 373 00:18:16,464 --> 00:18:17,658 Total brain-burp. 374 00:18:17,824 --> 00:18:18,823 I'm no MJ. 375 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:23,600 I can do his dunk, from the free-throw line though. 376 00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:26,313 Damn! 377 00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:28,895 Mad respect from a brother! 378 00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,802 The man is paying me to take Chinese. 379 00:18:30,927 --> 00:18:32,788 I will say what I need to say. 380 00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:35,602 And soon, I will say it in Chinese. 381 00:18:36,926 --> 00:18:38,512 Well, it's just really loud. 382 00:18:40,173 --> 00:18:42,400 We'll keep that in mind. All right, ladies. 383 00:18:42,525 --> 00:18:43,987 Back to the game. Do it! 384 00:18:44,642 --> 00:18:45,642 And Jim. 385 00:18:46,561 --> 00:18:47,438 Come on in. 386 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,482 You're back in. 387 00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:54,925 You know what? Instead of a game, why don't we do an exhibition? 388 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,655 Love to see that dunk of yours. 389 00:18:57,597 --> 00:18:58,866 We'll set that up one day. 390 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,744 Today. Now, maybe. 'Cause we have a hoop downstairs. 391 00:19:02,346 --> 00:19:04,497 And a real ball, so you don't have to mime it. 392 00:19:05,955 --> 00:19:07,416 I don't know. 393 00:19:07,582 --> 00:19:08,927 Why not? 394 00:19:09,052 --> 00:19:10,237 Only because... 395 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,297 no one has called NASA to request a lift-off. 396 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,551 Let's go downstairs. Let's do it. 397 00:19:17,717 --> 00:19:18,988 Pass. 398 00:19:19,113 --> 00:19:22,306 If I wanted to see a pissing contest, I'd lock Mose in the chicken Coop. 399 00:19:22,472 --> 00:19:24,016 Damn it, Dwight, enough! 400 00:19:24,594 --> 00:19:28,573 Get your ass downstairs, or find a new place to sell paper! 401 00:19:31,886 --> 00:19:33,150 A little about me. 402 00:19:35,577 --> 00:19:37,483 I respond to strong leadership. 403 00:19:38,759 --> 00:19:39,782 {\*All right,}There you go. 404 00:19:39,948 --> 00:19:41,951 Seems {\*a little }close. {\*You're sure }That's the real foul line? 405 00:19:42,117 --> 00:19:45,204 15 feet from the baseline. So you need me to move it in? 406 00:19:45,370 --> 00:19:46,330 That's 15. 407 00:19:48,456 --> 00:19:50,960 And you know what, to make it interesting, 408 00:19:51,126 --> 00:19:52,795 {\*why don't you }sit underneath the basket. 409 00:19:52,961 --> 00:19:54,386 - Seriously? - Come on. 410 00:19:54,511 --> 00:19:56,340 I'll dunk over you, best seat in the house. 411 00:19:56,506 --> 00:19:57,716 {\*I don't think }I can't do that. 412 00:19:57,882 --> 00:19:59,552 I'm holding your jewelry. 413 00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:02,471 Fair enough. Kevin, you do it. 414 00:20:04,849 --> 00:20:05,850 Here? 415 00:20:06,389 --> 00:20:08,143 Someone wanna sit in Kevin's lap? 416 00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:12,895 This is for you, to show you {\*that }anything is possible. 417 00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:14,859 - Fantastic. - All right? 418 00:20:15,138 --> 00:20:16,706 This is also for the troops. 419 00:20:25,569 --> 00:20:26,662 Doctor is in! 420 00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:41,692 Now what? 421 00:20:48,805 --> 00:20:49,841 {\pub}Tablab. 422 00:20:50,112 --> 00:20:51,193 Are you all right? 423 00:20:52,854 --> 00:20:54,982 Erin, would you call 911 please? 424 00:20:55,148 --> 00:20:56,400 Who should I annonce{\*say is calling}? 425 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:57,485 Erin. 426 00:20:57,651 --> 00:21:00,976 Chea three thead twa to bar. 427 00:21:01,653 --> 00:21:02,490 Scoince? 428 00:21:03,205 --> 00:21:05,115 Paunch and loud. 429 00:21:05,782 --> 00:21:09,932 Paunch says to barter how's gonna tha. 430 00:21:10,057 --> 00:21:12,862 Barte sayce four tha pa. 431 00:21:13,221 --> 00:21:15,586 Everybody tine, everybody tha. 432 00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:17,282 Everybody tha. 433 00:21:19,339 --> 00:21:20,622 Dra tweb. 434 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,339 Dra sweb. 435 00:21:23,464 --> 00:21:24,938 Treasure, I get it. 436 00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,221 We're gonna work on treasure.