1 00:00:02,235 --> 00:00:05,271 I love my kids. I love real estate. 2 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,539 I love ceramics. I love my job. 3 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:09,174 I-I love wrestling. 4 00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,644 Find out what language this is. 5 00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,185 Okay. Team building. 6 00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:23,722 On this side of the room, Stanley, Phyllis, Jim, 7 00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:25,891 Ted, Elroy. 8 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,828 On this side of the room, Pam, Meredith, Phyllis, Creed... 9 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:33,065 He never called a meeting. 10 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,600 Bo...Body. Bo...Body. 11 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:37,936 What does the first "b" stand for? 12 00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:39,605 What are we doing? 13 00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,607 We're making acronyms. Okay! 14 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,075 What does the first "b" stand for? 15 00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:45,411 Business! 16 00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:46,679 I like it! 17 00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,080 Business. 18 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,682 Good, Kevin! 19 00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:51,450 All right, the "o"... 20 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:54,286 We need a new manager. 21 00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:02,742 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 22 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,438 Your paper experience is very interesting. 23 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,307 Do you think you could use that experience 24 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:15,608 to inform decisions here? 25 00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:18,311 Absolutely, I-- Yes. 26 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,446 In fact, I actually have a three-step plan 27 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,949 that I believe could effectively double your profits. 28 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:26,219 - Really? - Yeah. 29 00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:28,387 What is it? 30 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,057 Nice try. 31 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,293 Uh... I'm sorry. 32 00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,295 W-what is your three-step plan? 33 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:39,265 Well, I mean, I can't just hand you my plan. 34 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,466 I mean, if you guys give me the job, 35 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,668 then-- Then you'll get the plan. 36 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,470 Well...lt's an interview, 37 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,105 and we don't know that you really have the plan. 38 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,107 I'm not gonna just make up that I have a plan. 39 00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:49,976 I got a plan. Believe me, you guys want it. 40 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,244 You're in paper, right? 41 00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,678 How do we know that if you don't... 42 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,647 You could just be saying it to get the job. 43 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,916 I guess I could be if I was... 44 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,484 Who would do that? 45 00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,719 How about this. 46 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,120 Why don't you give us a part of the plan, 47 00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,655 and that way we know you have it. 48 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:03,856 Tell you what. 49 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,491 I'll give you part three of part two. 50 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,627 Not gonna give you a whole part. 51 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:08,694 Okay. 52 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:12,598 Color-code said document. TM. 53 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,369 - Did you just trademark that? - W-what? 54 00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:19,138 That's a verbal trademark. That's an agreement. 55 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,240 We are the search committee... 56 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,642 Hand-picked by our CEO 57 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,378 and tasked to find this branch's new manager. 58 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:27,680 Not everyone we meet will be good, 59 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,016 but someone's bound to be, right? 60 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,117 And to be honest, 61 00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,652 I think a lot of the decent candidates 62 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:33,819 are right here in house. 63 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,855 So I'm not too worried. 64 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,623 But I'm really excited to spend a lot of time 65 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,525 with Toby and Gabe. 66 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:42,361 Did you know that Gabe's last name was Lewis? 67 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,330 I had no idea. 68 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,531 Good morning. 69 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:46,699 - Morning. - Good morning. 70 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,534 Good morning. 71 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,203 Did you have a nice drive in? 72 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,706 I did. 73 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,541 I have a solid relationship with Jo, 74 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,143 the company's owner. 75 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,644 I have management experience. 76 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,680 I have a good friendship with Jim, 77 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,381 the head of the search committee. 78 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:06,786 And it doesn't hurt that I'm... 79 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,488 ♪ Black! ♪ 80 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,526 It's good. I really hope you get it. 81 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:16,362 The manager job? Naw, I'm barely interested. 82 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,863 I just can't not go for it, you know. 83 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,065 It's not the Bernard way. 84 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,800 We give it the old college try, 85 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,768 and then in defeat, we show grace. 86 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,204 Still...I'd really like to see this office 87 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,273 with you in the boss's chair. 88 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,307 Don't even... 89 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,210 - You in the boss's chair! - Eeehhh! No. 90 00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,713 In my family, you don't really go out and get things. 91 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,115 If you want something, you write it on a list 92 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,984 and then the housekeeper goes out and gets it 93 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,919 on wednesdays and Fridays. 94 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,921 So...I don't know. 95 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,523 I guess you could say this job is on my list and... 96 00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:48,527 We'll see what rosa comes back with. 97 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:52,865 Did you hear anything? 98 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,900 Oh...I'm sure they'll let us know 99 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,736 when they get the results. 100 00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:00,172 It turns out that Erin was born 101 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,776 in the basic time and region that I gave away a child. 102 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,412 So Phyllis might be my mom. 103 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,148 I mean, the chances are tiny, but... 104 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,550 Yeah. But probably not. 105 00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,786 I mean, it was a big year for babies. 106 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,755 Porky's had come out. Yeah. 107 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:18,057 I'm sure I was just another porky's baby. 108 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,259 But why not find out? Yeah. 109 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,267 Should you really be so blatant about that? 110 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:29,668 They won't make me manager, 111 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,504 and I won't settle for anything less. 112 00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,305 I've gone about as far as I can here. 113 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,141 That's obvious. 114 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,876 Time to take my talents elsewhere. 115 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,611 Are you really gonna apply for work 116 00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,079 at Scranton Breadworks? 117 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,248 Bread is the paper of the food industry. 118 00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:45,551 You write your sandwich on it. 119 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,386 Can you do any better on salary? 120 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,555 Unfortunately, that range is set at corporate. 121 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,624 What about mileage when I use my car? 122 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,659 I mean, gas ain't cheap, you know. 123 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,661 We think that 25¢ a mile is pretty generous. 124 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,631 How 'bout 27 and, uh... 125 00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,032 When I make long-distance calls 126 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,903 will they be monitored, or is it on the honor system? 127 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,404 Okay. 128 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,445 How odd! 129 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:15,448 A very unusual phone call from the senator's office. 130 00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,650 The senator wants me to have lunch with him 131 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,418 at the botanical gardens. 132 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,853 The botanical gardens... 133 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:24,123 Scranton's hidden gem. 134 00:05:24,191 --> 00:05:27,593 Don't eat any berries you don't recognize. 135 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:31,597 How will your experience selling refinery equipment 136 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,833 translate to our smaller scale here? 137 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,334 You don't work in sales, do you? 138 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,336 Uh...Human resources. 139 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:41,307 You see, I sit across from a man... 140 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:45,311 I see his face. I see his eyes. 141 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:50,049 Now, does it matter if he wants $100 of paper 142 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:53,052 or $100 million of deep-sea drilling equipment? 143 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,320 Don't be a fool. 144 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:56,489 He wants respect. 145 00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,491 He wants love. 146 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,494 He wants to be younger. He wants to be attractive. 147 00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,963 There is no such thing 148 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,232 as a product. 149 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,667 Don't ever think there is. 150 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,604 Ere is only sex. 151 00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:14,140 Everything is sex. 152 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,042 You understand that what I'm telling you 153 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:20,446 is a universal truth, Toby. 154 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,047 Yes. 155 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,716 Okay, I-I-- 156 00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,217 I am...I'm almost a little concerned 157 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:28,487 that you might be overqualified for the position. 158 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,123 Do you, um... Do you think that you are? 159 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,691 Do I look like someone who-- 160 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,560 Who'd waste my own time? 161 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,529 No. 162 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,866 Can y-- 163 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:44,303 You are a man of great confidence. 164 00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:46,705 Could you speak a little more to that 165 00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:49,708 and what the role of confidence 166 00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,545 would be in a dialogue 167 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,246 with a subordinate? 168 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,148 Will you be heard? 169 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,184 Will you have a voice? 170 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,486 Will I steamroll over you? 171 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:05,724 Do you feel heard right now, Jim? 172 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:09,361 Do you have a voice right now? 173 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,497 You can answer me. Yes. 174 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,532 That was your choice, not mine. 175 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,069 The fallacy is that it is up to the steamroller. 176 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,738 It is up to the object... 177 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,041 Whether it will be flattened or not. 178 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,510 And I can tell just from the small interaction 179 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:25,744 we've had already, 180 00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,513 you won't be flattened by anybody. 181 00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:28,781 Do you agree with me, Jim? 182 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:31,717 - Yes. - Yes, you do. 183 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,240 He creeps me out. 184 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,076 But I think he might be a genius. 185 00:08:04,341 --> 00:08:06,342 Good luck, Darryl. 186 00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:08,277 Thank you. 187 00:08:08,345 --> 00:08:09,411 Think about it. 188 00:08:09,479 --> 00:08:11,213 What other mammal, besides humans, 189 00:08:11,281 --> 00:08:13,482 drinks the milk of another mammal? 190 00:08:13,550 --> 00:08:16,018 I mean, you don't see a bear drinking raccoon milk. 191 00:08:17,921 --> 00:08:20,889 So this is cool. I think we make a good fit. 192 00:08:20,957 --> 00:08:23,692 Oh. Uh, we haven't started the interview yet. 193 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,861 Were you-- Were you joking? 194 00:08:27,731 --> 00:08:30,666 Uh...Yes. I was. 195 00:08:30,734 --> 00:08:33,869 Little joke. 196 00:08:33,937 --> 00:08:37,039 So how would you go about settling interpersonal conflicts 197 00:08:37,107 --> 00:08:38,507 within the office? 198 00:08:38,575 --> 00:08:41,043 I thought that was your job. 199 00:08:41,111 --> 00:08:43,345 Well, it's one of my strengths, 200 00:08:43,413 --> 00:08:45,014 but it's the manager's job. 201 00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,784 Well, for instance, how did you deal with it 202 00:08:48,852 --> 00:08:50,185 when two warehouse guys got into a fight? 203 00:08:50,253 --> 00:08:51,654 I'll answer that, Jim. 204 00:08:51,721 --> 00:08:55,057 I would use it as an opportunity to teach... 205 00:08:55,125 --> 00:08:58,927 Uh, about actions and consequences 206 00:08:58,995 --> 00:09:01,130 of actions. 207 00:09:08,605 --> 00:09:10,039 Who's that? 208 00:09:10,106 --> 00:09:11,974 So I think all we need is a resume, 209 00:09:12,042 --> 00:09:14,076 and we'll be good, right? 210 00:09:14,144 --> 00:09:16,412 I-I just thought you knew me. 211 00:09:16,479 --> 00:09:17,546 Yeah, it's no big deal. 212 00:09:17,614 --> 00:09:19,982 Just something that looks like that. 213 00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:21,183 Cool. 214 00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:23,185 Let me... 215 00:09:25,088 --> 00:09:26,855 Cool. 216 00:09:34,264 --> 00:09:36,331 Did, uh, you just interview? 217 00:09:36,399 --> 00:09:38,100 Oh. Unfortunately, yes. 218 00:09:41,671 --> 00:09:43,072 W-what do you mean? 219 00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:45,541 That business can't attract anyone. 220 00:09:45,608 --> 00:09:47,876 It's awful up there. 221 00:09:47,944 --> 00:09:50,979 Those people seem like they're in prison 222 00:09:51,047 --> 00:09:52,347 waiting out life sentences 223 00:09:52,415 --> 00:09:55,184 in a... Dying industry. 224 00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:58,020 Place must be horrible. 225 00:10:00,924 --> 00:10:03,125 I don't know if I want this job. 226 00:10:03,193 --> 00:10:04,359 Well, if I get this job offer, 227 00:10:04,427 --> 00:10:06,095 then I know that I'm gonna take it. 228 00:10:06,162 --> 00:10:08,697 And if I take it, I know that I'm never gonna quit. 229 00:10:08,765 --> 00:10:14,937 And then 25 years are gonna go by, and... 230 00:10:15,004 --> 00:10:16,905 I'm gonna die here. 231 00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:18,774 What makes you feel qualified to judge a place 232 00:10:18,842 --> 00:10:20,809 after a mere interview? 233 00:10:28,585 --> 00:10:31,787 What are you doing? 234 00:10:34,190 --> 00:10:36,091 Stop trying to figure me out. 235 00:10:36,159 --> 00:10:37,826 - I just did. - You can't. 236 00:10:37,894 --> 00:10:39,795 - It's done. - No, it's not. 237 00:10:39,863 --> 00:10:41,330 I know you now. I know your nature. 238 00:10:41,397 --> 00:10:43,565 You don't know me-- You don't know anything about me. 239 00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:44,900 - I'm done. - Get out of my head. 240 00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:46,969 - Not worth continuing. - Stop trying to figure me out. 241 00:10:50,206 --> 00:10:52,975 Do you even know anything about paper? 242 00:10:53,042 --> 00:10:54,443 How it's made? 243 00:10:54,511 --> 00:10:56,345 I saw an episode on how they make paper 244 00:10:56,412 --> 00:10:57,980 on sesame street. 245 00:11:00,683 --> 00:11:02,084 Get out. 246 00:11:02,152 --> 00:11:03,318 I'm gonna prevent inferior men 247 00:11:03,386 --> 00:11:04,820 from sullying my place of work 248 00:11:04,888 --> 00:11:07,156 with their weak, passionless leadership. 249 00:11:07,223 --> 00:11:09,758 Do you see my hat? No? 250 00:11:09,826 --> 00:11:12,494 That's because I just threw it in the ring. 251 00:11:12,562 --> 00:11:15,164 You guys pay for relocation, though, right? 252 00:11:15,231 --> 00:11:17,166 Well, why would you need relocation 253 00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:18,467 if you already live in Scranton? 254 00:11:18,535 --> 00:11:21,103 Well, I'd wanna move further away, you know? 255 00:11:21,171 --> 00:11:22,437 Just...Don't want any chance 256 00:11:22,505 --> 00:11:24,773 of running into my coworkers outside the office. 257 00:11:26,509 --> 00:11:29,344 Can I ask why you're leaving your current job? 258 00:11:32,515 --> 00:11:34,383 I'm leaving my other job 259 00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:36,718 because they were all... Jerks. 260 00:11:36,786 --> 00:11:38,554 Really. You know, all of them. 261 00:11:38,621 --> 00:11:41,190 You had your jerk wads and your jerk offs, so... 262 00:11:41,257 --> 00:11:43,492 Just between the wads and the offs, 263 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,227 I just-- I had to get outta there. 264 00:11:45,295 --> 00:11:47,162 Is this a bad time to be doing this? 265 00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:50,132 I'm having a bad time. 266 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,567 I'm sorry. 267 00:11:51,634 --> 00:11:54,002 I-if we did something to upset you, 268 00:11:54,070 --> 00:11:55,838 I-I'm sure it was inadvertent. 269 00:12:01,878 --> 00:12:03,512 Wait. 270 00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:07,149 Oh, why did I believe that weirdo in the lobby? 271 00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:10,085 These are the nicest people I ever met. 272 00:12:11,554 --> 00:12:13,155 Thank you. 273 00:12:15,091 --> 00:12:16,658 It's gorgeous, Angela. 274 00:12:16,726 --> 00:12:18,260 Yeah, I actually know about nice rings, 275 00:12:18,328 --> 00:12:19,828 and it is gorgeous. Oh...Wow. 276 00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:21,830 It's a little flashy. I mean, what am I... 277 00:12:21,898 --> 00:12:23,565 Naomi judd? 278 00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:26,501 - Tell us the freaking story! - Yeah, tell us the story. 279 00:12:26,569 --> 00:12:28,770 Okay. He took me to the replica 280 00:12:28,838 --> 00:12:30,639 of Monet's Japanese bridge. 281 00:12:30,707 --> 00:12:32,574 And then he put this flower behind my ear, 282 00:12:32,642 --> 00:12:34,042 which normally I would hate, 283 00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:35,444 'cause it's so civil rightsy. 284 00:12:35,511 --> 00:12:38,080 Then he got down on one knee and he said, 285 00:12:38,147 --> 00:12:40,916 "will you be a senator's wife?" 286 00:12:40,984 --> 00:12:44,119 Oh! He talked about himself in the third person? 287 00:12:44,187 --> 00:12:45,520 Yes, Pam. 288 00:12:45,588 --> 00:12:48,257 Not everyone is as informal as you and Jim. 289 00:12:48,324 --> 00:12:50,525 "Oh, hey, Pam, dude, whatever. 290 00:12:50,593 --> 00:12:51,727 Wanna marry me?" 291 00:12:51,794 --> 00:12:54,396 That's not accurate. 292 00:12:54,464 --> 00:12:56,765 Then I saw flashes. Reporters were there. 293 00:12:56,833 --> 00:13:00,302 They always find us. And everyone was crying. 294 00:13:00,370 --> 00:13:02,537 Even his aide. 295 00:13:02,605 --> 00:13:05,274 Angela's engaged to a gay man. 296 00:13:05,341 --> 00:13:07,776 As a gay man, I'm horrified. 297 00:13:07,844 --> 00:13:10,412 As a friend of Angela's, horrified. 298 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,080 As a lover of elegant weddings, 299 00:13:12,148 --> 00:13:14,283 I'm a little excited. 300 00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:17,419 But overall, horrified. 301 00:13:17,487 --> 00:13:18,587 Andy? 302 00:13:18,655 --> 00:13:21,089 You all set? 303 00:13:22,358 --> 00:13:23,892 Okay, guys. It's time. 304 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,296 It's pep talk time. Tell me what I need to hear. 305 00:13:27,363 --> 00:13:29,564 Are you sure this is a good idea? 306 00:13:29,632 --> 00:13:31,733 I hate to see you disappointed. 307 00:13:32,969 --> 00:13:34,469 I think Andy should be the boss. 308 00:13:34,537 --> 00:13:36,305 He's just so great. 309 00:13:36,372 --> 00:13:39,675 If I'm being objective, then Darryl, of course. 310 00:13:39,742 --> 00:13:41,376 So Andy, what improvements would you make 311 00:13:41,444 --> 00:13:43,345 as office manager? For starters, I really think 312 00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:45,180 we can streamline communication around here. 313 00:13:45,248 --> 00:13:46,815 Whoa. That's a very heavy accusation 314 00:13:46,883 --> 00:13:49,584 to level against Toby. 315 00:13:49,652 --> 00:13:52,087 - I wasn't a-accusing-- - Well, Toby's in charge 316 00:13:52,155 --> 00:13:53,155 of human resources. 317 00:13:53,222 --> 00:13:54,756 That would include communication. 318 00:13:54,824 --> 00:13:56,625 I think that Toby's done a fine job. 319 00:13:56,693 --> 00:14:00,529 Right. I-I-I really wasn't trying to insult a-anyone. 320 00:14:00,596 --> 00:14:02,831 I didn't think you were. 321 00:14:02,899 --> 00:14:04,599 I have two relationships with Andy. 322 00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:06,234 I have a personal relationship, 323 00:14:06,302 --> 00:14:08,203 and I have a professional relationship. 324 00:14:08,271 --> 00:14:10,138 Personally, yeah, I think he's a rat 325 00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:11,473 and I think he's responsible 326 00:14:11,541 --> 00:14:13,942 for the demise of my relationship with Erin. 327 00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:16,545 Professionally... 328 00:14:16,612 --> 00:14:18,547 He broke up the happiest couple in this office. 329 00:14:18,614 --> 00:14:20,248 How many windows are there in New York City? 330 00:14:20,316 --> 00:14:22,217 - What? - Critical thinking. 331 00:14:22,285 --> 00:14:24,753 Common on-the-spot question asked in an interview. 332 00:14:24,821 --> 00:14:27,656 Okay. Uh...Let me think. Are you counting car windows? 333 00:14:27,724 --> 00:14:29,758 No. How far away is the sun? 334 00:14:29,826 --> 00:14:32,194 Uh, 93 million Miles. 335 00:14:32,261 --> 00:14:35,163 - Is it? - Yeah. 336 00:14:35,231 --> 00:14:37,399 And the diameter of the sun is 870,000 miles, 337 00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:39,735 which makes it 109 times wider than the earth 338 00:14:39,802 --> 00:14:42,671 and 333,000 times heavier than the earth. 339 00:14:42,739 --> 00:14:44,206 Shut up about the sun. 340 00:14:44,273 --> 00:14:47,242 Shut up about the sun! 341 00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:54,082 I am unhappy with the confusing 342 00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:57,753 and, at times, confrontational nature of that meeting. 343 00:14:57,820 --> 00:14:59,654 I wanted it to go better. 344 00:14:59,722 --> 00:15:02,057 I wanted it to go better! 345 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:05,027 Yes, there used to be a paper clip 346 00:15:05,094 --> 00:15:06,361 that would pop up and say, 347 00:15:06,429 --> 00:15:08,830 "looks like you are writing a letter or resume. 348 00:15:08,898 --> 00:15:10,799 Would you like help?" 349 00:15:10,867 --> 00:15:13,402 I believe his name was... Clippy. 350 00:15:14,604 --> 00:15:16,838 First of all, I wanna thank you 351 00:15:16,906 --> 00:15:19,241 for your years of patronizing our company. 352 00:15:19,308 --> 00:15:22,010 I've got some bad news. 353 00:15:22,078 --> 00:15:23,412 We're going out of business. 354 00:15:23,479 --> 00:15:25,580 Saving face. 355 00:15:25,648 --> 00:15:26,748 Yep, yep. 356 00:15:26,816 --> 00:15:28,917 I understand that. 357 00:15:28,985 --> 00:15:30,919 Basically everything's falling apart here. 358 00:15:30,987 --> 00:15:33,388 How is this on me? 359 00:15:33,456 --> 00:15:35,724 Hang up. 360 00:15:35,792 --> 00:15:37,793 Corporate needs you to find the differences 361 00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:41,563 between this picture and this picture. 362 00:15:41,631 --> 00:15:43,899 Intel has told us there are at least seven. 363 00:15:43,966 --> 00:15:45,867 Okay. I already see one. Gimme. 364 00:15:45,935 --> 00:15:47,169 Okay. 365 00:15:48,604 --> 00:15:51,239 They're the same picture. 366 00:15:51,307 --> 00:15:52,974 Well, I manage my department, 367 00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:55,410 and I've been doing that for several years now. 368 00:15:55,478 --> 00:15:58,713 And, God, I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way. 369 00:15:58,781 --> 00:16:00,749 Your department's just you, right? 370 00:16:00,817 --> 00:16:03,351 Yes, Jim, but I am not easy to manage. 371 00:16:03,419 --> 00:16:06,521 Great. Um, can we just... 372 00:16:06,589 --> 00:16:08,423 - What was that? - We just have 373 00:16:08,491 --> 00:16:12,294 a lot of serious candidates to get through today, so... 374 00:16:12,361 --> 00:16:14,396 Am I not a serious candidate? 375 00:16:14,464 --> 00:16:17,132 What do you want me to say? 376 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,434 I mean, there's a line of qualified people out there. 377 00:16:19,502 --> 00:16:21,436 We have a video CV from England. 378 00:16:21,504 --> 00:16:23,071 Are we all just gonna pretend to-- 379 00:16:23,139 --> 00:16:25,607 okay. Um... 380 00:16:25,675 --> 00:16:27,375 What are your weaknesses? 381 00:16:27,443 --> 00:16:29,211 I don't have any, asshole. 382 00:16:32,181 --> 00:16:34,116 I want an interview. 383 00:16:35,551 --> 00:16:36,918 How's the family? Good. 384 00:16:36,986 --> 00:16:39,588 - Good? Are they good? - Yeah. 385 00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:41,223 What's your daughter's name again? 386 00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:42,324 Peepee? 387 00:16:42,391 --> 00:16:44,292 - Peepa. - Peepa. How is she? 388 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,228 - Great. - Great! 389 00:16:46,295 --> 00:16:48,563 Oh, that's great. 390 00:16:48,631 --> 00:16:50,832 We never were very good at smalltalk, were we, Jim? 391 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,067 - No. - Now, listen-- 392 00:16:52,135 --> 00:16:54,402 You're not getting an interview, Dwight. 393 00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:56,671 The whole point of this search committee process 394 00:16:56,739 --> 00:16:58,840 is to prevent hiring someone like you ever again. 395 00:16:58,908 --> 00:17:00,142 Okay. I know why you're saying that, Jim. 396 00:17:00,209 --> 00:17:02,410 I really do. But think of it this way. 397 00:17:02,478 --> 00:17:04,412 The hand that reaches from the grave 398 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,081 to grip your throat 399 00:17:06,149 --> 00:17:07,916 is the strong hand you want on the wheel. 400 00:17:07,984 --> 00:17:09,918 - Okay. That's vivid. - Now, I'm gonna make you 401 00:17:09,986 --> 00:17:11,319 an offer, okay? 402 00:17:11,387 --> 00:17:14,656 You even do so little as grant me an interview, 403 00:17:14,724 --> 00:17:17,259 I will guarantee you your dream work life, okay? 404 00:17:17,326 --> 00:17:19,794 You roll in at 10:00 AM 405 00:17:19,862 --> 00:17:22,197 to your own private reserved parking spot, 406 00:17:22,265 --> 00:17:25,133 pick up your daily free coffee from Dwight's caffeine corner, 407 00:17:25,201 --> 00:17:27,769 unlimited sex breaks for you and Pam. 408 00:17:27,837 --> 00:17:29,171 - Yikes. - Erin will eat garbage 409 00:17:29,238 --> 00:17:30,605 for your entertainment. 410 00:17:30,673 --> 00:17:32,841 Wow. You know how I like taking bribes. 411 00:17:32,909 --> 00:17:34,376 - Ha ha! - But unfortunately, 412 00:17:34,443 --> 00:17:35,944 jo also took the job away from you 413 00:17:36,012 --> 00:17:37,712 because she doesn't trust your judgment. 414 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:39,314 So how would that look for me 415 00:17:39,382 --> 00:17:41,216 if I recommended you? 416 00:17:41,284 --> 00:17:42,517 Fine. 417 00:17:42,585 --> 00:17:45,620 I'll do it without you. You'll regret this. 418 00:17:45,688 --> 00:17:46,721 Okay. 419 00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:49,891 Let me get that for you. 420 00:17:49,959 --> 00:17:51,893 - Thank you. - Okay. 421 00:17:57,371 --> 00:17:59,672 Pam, I think Robert is gay. 422 00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:02,274 The senator? 423 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,577 He was married before, and he has a kid. 424 00:18:04,645 --> 00:18:05,811 - So-- - And don't say that thing 425 00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:08,848 about how lots of gay guys have kids. 426 00:18:08,915 --> 00:18:11,784 I have a very strong suspicion. 427 00:18:11,852 --> 00:18:13,619 Did you see him at a bathhouse? 428 00:18:13,687 --> 00:18:15,287 What bathhouse? 429 00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:17,490 The windowless building by the Baskin Robbins. 430 00:18:17,557 --> 00:18:19,425 What? 431 00:18:19,493 --> 00:18:21,627 Forget it. I'm never gonna know what goes on there. 432 00:18:21,695 --> 00:18:23,295 My friend at the Scranton blade 433 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:24,764 is totally plugged into these matters. 434 00:18:24,831 --> 00:18:26,632 You're in the gay mafia. 435 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,134 You're thinking of another group-- 436 00:18:28,201 --> 00:18:31,137 Much wealthier, much older. You sound ignorant. 437 00:18:31,204 --> 00:18:34,373 You guys, um... Talking senator? 438 00:18:34,441 --> 00:18:36,609 - No. - No. 439 00:18:36,677 --> 00:18:38,310 Why would we be talking about the senator? 440 00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,079 'Cause he's totally gay. 441 00:18:41,248 --> 00:18:42,982 How do I know that Robert is gay? 442 00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:45,751 He "liked" my Facebook photos 443 00:18:45,819 --> 00:18:47,720 at 3:00 in the morning. 444 00:18:47,788 --> 00:18:50,690 Name-- David Brent. Occupation-- Inspirer. 445 00:18:50,757 --> 00:18:53,025 Status-- None of your business. 446 00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:54,360 Young, free, and single, though. 447 00:18:54,428 --> 00:18:55,661 Thanks for asking. 448 00:18:55,729 --> 00:18:57,830 Hey, you're looking for a new boss, yeah? 449 00:18:57,898 --> 00:18:59,999 Someone to tell a bunch of discontented, 450 00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:02,301 under-encouraged drones what to do every day. 451 00:19:02,369 --> 00:19:05,137 Is that it? Oh. Our out-of-touch powers that be. 452 00:19:05,205 --> 00:19:07,940 Want me to fire them? They don't see things your way? 453 00:19:08,008 --> 00:19:09,975 Then I am that dude. Bye-bye, baby, bye-bye. 454 00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:11,911 Get some other corporate suit to lay down the law. 455 00:19:11,978 --> 00:19:13,713 What? You've changed your mind? 456 00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:15,748 You're now looking for a leader of men? 457 00:19:15,816 --> 00:19:18,384 Ipso facto...Women too. 458 00:19:18,452 --> 00:19:20,186 When do I start? 459 00:19:21,888 --> 00:19:24,924 Do you know what it took to get Bob to notice me? 460 00:19:24,991 --> 00:19:26,826 I waited in his office every morning 461 00:19:26,893 --> 00:19:28,861 wearing nothing but kitty cat ears. 462 00:19:28,929 --> 00:19:30,996 I did that every day for two weeks. 463 00:19:31,064 --> 00:19:32,364 And on the tenth day, he walked in. 464 00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:34,667 He was naked too, except a dog nose. 465 00:19:34,735 --> 00:19:37,536 - Guess what we did then? - I don't think I can do that-- 466 00:19:37,604 --> 00:19:39,071 - Bestiality. - Yeah. 467 00:19:39,139 --> 00:19:40,773 That's not my personality. 468 00:19:40,841 --> 00:19:43,909 If my daughter were asking me... 469 00:19:43,977 --> 00:19:44,944 Yes? 470 00:19:46,346 --> 00:19:48,114 I would say if you want someone-- 471 00:19:48,181 --> 00:19:51,517 If you really want them-- 472 00:19:51,585 --> 00:19:53,853 Go get them. 473 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,857 I do really want him. 474 00:19:57,924 --> 00:20:00,226 So, uh... Here you go. 475 00:20:00,293 --> 00:20:02,261 - Great. - Hope it's all right. 476 00:20:02,329 --> 00:20:04,430 I'm sure it's fine. 477 00:20:04,498 --> 00:20:05,765 The guy who was in here earlier, 478 00:20:05,832 --> 00:20:07,700 interviewed after me... How'd he do? 479 00:20:07,768 --> 00:20:09,034 Howard cline? 480 00:20:09,102 --> 00:20:10,736 That's not who I'm talking about. 481 00:20:10,804 --> 00:20:13,539 Oh. Deshaun Williams. 482 00:20:13,607 --> 00:20:15,074 Yes. How did he do? 483 00:20:15,142 --> 00:20:17,643 He's an amazing man. He's a rhodes scholar. 484 00:20:17,711 --> 00:20:20,212 He invented an app that invents apps. 485 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,247 Fantastic kisser. 486 00:20:21,314 --> 00:20:23,315 Common, man. I'm being serious. 487 00:20:23,383 --> 00:20:25,618 It's no joke. Darryl, we all know you. 488 00:20:25,685 --> 00:20:28,954 Your interview is not nearly as important as the other guy's. 489 00:20:30,423 --> 00:20:31,924 First I'll take down 490 00:20:31,992 --> 00:20:34,293 - the cubicle walls. - But there aren't-- 491 00:20:34,361 --> 00:20:35,761 Symbol of transparency. 492 00:20:35,829 --> 00:20:38,130 There'd be no titles. 493 00:20:38,198 --> 00:20:40,466 Everyone has the same job. 494 00:20:40,534 --> 00:20:42,268 Same goes for me. 495 00:20:42,335 --> 00:20:45,771 I'd take your job, but I'd reject the title. 496 00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:46,906 A little unspecific. 497 00:20:46,973 --> 00:20:48,774 Everyone would be known 498 00:20:48,842 --> 00:20:50,776 for their accomplishments. 499 00:20:50,844 --> 00:20:52,778 That's very interesting. 500 00:20:52,846 --> 00:20:54,880 Um...I feel like there might be a conflict there, 501 00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:57,983 and if a conflict did arise, how would that be dealt with? 502 00:20:58,051 --> 00:21:01,153 Oh! Yeah. 503 00:21:02,255 --> 00:21:03,622 Scratch everything from before. 504 00:21:03,690 --> 00:21:05,658 I tell you what I'd do. Go the other way. 505 00:21:05,725 --> 00:21:07,993 More cubicles. 506 00:21:08,061 --> 00:21:09,595 More division. 507 00:21:09,663 --> 00:21:13,499 Everyone is somebody's boss, 508 00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:17,169 and that person can fire the person below them. 509 00:21:18,905 --> 00:21:21,607 And once a month the lowest-performing person-- 510 00:21:23,210 --> 00:21:24,577 Bye-bye. 511 00:21:24,644 --> 00:21:27,246 How would you compare like an accountant and HR? 512 00:21:27,314 --> 00:21:29,982 Well, I'll tell you how, shall I? 513 00:21:30,050 --> 00:21:31,150 I'll tell you how. Okay. 514 00:21:31,218 --> 00:21:33,786 By splitting the difference. 515 00:21:33,854 --> 00:21:36,789 Just--just somewhere in the middle. 516 00:21:36,857 --> 00:21:38,224 I think that's probably all... 517 00:21:38,291 --> 00:21:39,291 We need to hear from-- 518 00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:40,759 Zen office. 519 00:21:42,362 --> 00:21:44,263 Thought of that? That's what I'd do. 520 00:21:44,331 --> 00:21:48,234 Everyone takes their shoes off before they come in, okay? 521 00:21:48,301 --> 00:21:51,403 There'd be no desks. You just sit on the floor. 522 00:21:51,471 --> 00:21:54,273 - That's very-- - You've got a thai woman 523 00:21:54,341 --> 00:21:56,742 out in the back-- Sockee. 524 00:21:56,810 --> 00:21:58,410 - Okay. - Sockee. 525 00:21:58,478 --> 00:22:01,280 - That's not-- - Sockee is her name, okay? 526 00:22:01,348 --> 00:22:04,783 She's administering massage, all right, if you need it. 527 00:22:04,851 --> 00:22:06,452 If you don't, whatever. Just talk to her. 528 00:22:06,519 --> 00:22:08,087 She's a person. 529 00:22:08,154 --> 00:22:10,122 Either way, 50 minutes of that, 530 00:22:10,190 --> 00:22:11,857 and you... 531 00:22:11,925 --> 00:22:14,593 You are cracking to go. 532 00:22:17,497 --> 00:22:19,131 - Is there a frontrunner? - You know what? 533 00:22:19,199 --> 00:22:21,400 They all just sort of blend together after a while. 534 00:22:21,468 --> 00:22:23,135 Well, there must be someone who stands out. 535 00:22:23,203 --> 00:22:24,403 No, not at all. 536 00:22:24,471 --> 00:22:26,105 In fact, I'm not even taking it seriously. 537 00:22:26,172 --> 00:22:27,406 I think at the end of the day, 538 00:22:27,474 --> 00:22:29,808 I'm just gonna pick a name out of the hat. 539 00:22:29,876 --> 00:22:31,543 The hell you will! 540 00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:34,013 I worked for the last boss for 15 years. 541 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,649 According to my doctor, I don't have another 15 years 542 00:22:36,716 --> 00:22:39,418 if I wanna keep up the same dietary and sexual lifestyle, 543 00:22:39,486 --> 00:22:41,086 which I intend to. 544 00:22:41,154 --> 00:22:43,856 Oh, no, Stanley. You'll live forever. 545 00:22:43,924 --> 00:22:45,424 My next boss will be my last boss. 546 00:22:45,492 --> 00:22:47,126 He'll be at my funeral. 547 00:22:47,193 --> 00:22:50,629 So I would appreciate it if you would take this seriously. 548 00:22:52,332 --> 00:22:53,766 You pick a crappy boss, 549 00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:55,768 you're responsible for my crappy life. 550 00:22:55,835 --> 00:22:58,037 Okay, everybody. I was just making a joke. 551 00:22:58,104 --> 00:22:59,905 I am taking it seriously. I promise. 552 00:22:59,973 --> 00:23:02,708 Are you? 553 00:23:02,776 --> 00:23:04,043 Little advice? 554 00:23:04,110 --> 00:23:06,578 Take a day off from the whole Jim shtick. 555 00:23:06,646 --> 00:23:08,781 Try caring about something. 556 00:23:08,848 --> 00:23:12,451 You might like how it feels, James. 557 00:23:21,046 --> 00:23:23,047 Hey, honey. Oh, lord. Take all this. 558 00:23:23,114 --> 00:23:25,649 - All right. - Here. 559 00:23:25,717 --> 00:23:27,818 - Oh. - Jim. 560 00:23:27,886 --> 00:23:29,587 Did you hear stern this morning? 561 00:23:29,654 --> 00:23:31,589 - No. Was he good? - Ah...Robin was good. 562 00:23:31,656 --> 00:23:33,490 She's always good. Keeps him on his toes. 563 00:23:33,558 --> 00:23:35,626 It's Howard's show, though. 564 00:23:35,694 --> 00:23:37,294 Whose is this? 565 00:23:37,362 --> 00:23:38,729 Darryl Philbin. 566 00:23:38,797 --> 00:23:41,932 Oh. Very nice to see a familiar face on top. 567 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,569 Ah, a little long, aren't we? Four pages? 568 00:23:45,637 --> 00:23:47,104 Is this the same Darryl Philbin 569 00:23:47,172 --> 00:23:50,007 who's had two jobs in ten years at one company? 570 00:23:50,075 --> 00:23:53,577 Yes, thanks to you who promoted me 571 00:23:53,645 --> 00:23:56,146 after we, uh...lnterfaced. 572 00:23:56,214 --> 00:23:58,515 "Coordinated and implemented receipt, storage, 573 00:23:58,583 --> 00:24:03,020 and delivery of over 2.5 billion units of inventory." 574 00:24:03,088 --> 00:24:04,822 2.5 billion, Darryl? 575 00:24:04,889 --> 00:24:07,191 2.5 billion units of what? 576 00:24:07,259 --> 00:24:09,960 Paper material, ma'am. 577 00:24:10,028 --> 00:24:11,462 Paper material? 578 00:24:11,529 --> 00:24:13,964 Pieces of paper. 579 00:24:14,032 --> 00:24:16,767 Jo. May I speak to you for a second? 580 00:24:16,835 --> 00:24:18,469 Or what? You gonna shoot me? 581 00:24:18,536 --> 00:24:20,971 Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha... 582 00:24:21,039 --> 00:24:23,040 Oh, I enjoy laughing at my mistakes. 583 00:24:23,108 --> 00:24:25,909 Because I've learned so much from them. 584 00:24:25,977 --> 00:24:27,845 I'd like to be interviewed for the position. 585 00:24:27,912 --> 00:24:29,280 I'll interview you right now. 586 00:24:29,347 --> 00:24:31,115 - Okay. - Question one. 587 00:24:31,182 --> 00:24:33,484 Ever shot a gun in the office? 588 00:24:33,551 --> 00:24:34,785 It's complicated... 589 00:24:34,853 --> 00:24:37,354 Yeah, but see...lt's not. 590 00:24:38,590 --> 00:24:40,057 I don't think we should tell her. 591 00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:41,525 Angela went a whole day without telling me 592 00:24:41,593 --> 00:24:43,327 I had lettuce in my teeth. Screw her. 593 00:24:43,395 --> 00:24:44,995 I'm a woman. I would want to know. 594 00:24:45,063 --> 00:24:46,530 Yeah. You gotta know. 595 00:24:46,598 --> 00:24:50,467 Okay. But if Angela can get a gay man to marry her, 596 00:24:50,535 --> 00:24:53,537 maybe I could get a lesbian to marry me. Huh? 597 00:24:53,605 --> 00:24:55,673 Huh? Huh? That's hot. 598 00:24:55,740 --> 00:24:57,875 You have met a lesbian in real life, right? 599 00:24:57,942 --> 00:25:02,880 You know, this probably is her last chance at a family. 600 00:25:02,947 --> 00:25:04,882 She does seem happy. 601 00:25:04,949 --> 00:25:06,884 You're right. You're right. 602 00:25:06,951 --> 00:25:08,886 She seems happy. We don't tell her. 603 00:25:08,953 --> 00:25:10,587 - We don't tell her. - Okay. 604 00:25:10,655 --> 00:25:12,523 Excuse me, Ms. Bennett, may I have a word? 605 00:25:12,590 --> 00:25:13,590 Okay. 606 00:25:13,658 --> 00:25:14,992 Uh...Can it be in private? 607 00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:16,827 Don't worry. It's not about you. 608 00:25:20,765 --> 00:25:22,232 As minority executive, 609 00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:23,801 I think it's my responsibility to let you know 610 00:25:23,868 --> 00:25:25,002 that Gabe is gross. 611 00:25:25,070 --> 00:25:26,236 I don't think it's professional 612 00:25:26,304 --> 00:25:28,072 that he was sleeping with the receptionist, 613 00:25:28,139 --> 00:25:30,074 and then when Erin dumped him so that she could be with Andy, 614 00:25:30,141 --> 00:25:33,010 he became a total crazy stalker psycho. 615 00:25:33,078 --> 00:25:34,545 Welcome to Scranton, Jo, 616 00:25:34,612 --> 00:25:36,914 land of a thousand problems only you can fix. 617 00:25:39,451 --> 00:25:42,252 Oh, for God's sake. 618 00:25:44,422 --> 00:25:47,758 He's texting me his resume one line at a time. 619 00:25:49,127 --> 00:25:52,429 These are costing me 10¢ apiece, you jackass. 620 00:25:52,497 --> 00:25:53,931 I'm roaming! 621 00:25:56,468 --> 00:25:58,268 Get me our biggest client on the phone 622 00:25:58,336 --> 00:25:59,870 right this instant. 623 00:26:04,709 --> 00:26:06,276 Who is our biggest client? 624 00:26:06,344 --> 00:26:07,578 Uh, just put him through to me. 625 00:26:07,645 --> 00:26:09,947 Okay. 626 00:26:12,350 --> 00:26:14,118 Hello, this is... The client. 627 00:26:14,185 --> 00:26:15,352 It's Creed. 628 00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:19,289 Fyi. I'm starting my own paper company. 629 00:26:19,357 --> 00:26:21,992 Looking to poach some chumps. You in? 630 00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:24,495 - Yes. - Cool! 631 00:26:24,562 --> 00:26:26,630 Let's keep this on the qt, okay? 632 00:26:26,698 --> 00:26:29,500 I, uh, don't want you to be a dead mammajamma. 633 00:26:29,567 --> 00:26:30,734 - Great. - All right, thank you. 634 00:26:30,802 --> 00:26:32,669 - Thank you. Bye-bye. 635 00:26:34,005 --> 00:26:35,472 Jo, you have one more candidate. 636 00:26:35,540 --> 00:26:36,774 He's a burn victim. 637 00:26:37,842 --> 00:26:39,410 He's all messed up. 638 00:26:39,477 --> 00:26:41,979 I can tell him to get lost if you want. 639 00:26:42,046 --> 00:26:44,148 No. Send him in. 640 00:26:44,215 --> 00:26:45,449 Who is this? 641 00:26:47,185 --> 00:26:49,520 - I have no idea. - Oh, I know this guy. 642 00:26:58,363 --> 00:27:00,931 Hello, Mr. Souvenier. 643 00:27:00,999 --> 00:27:03,000 Mr. Jacques Souvenier? 644 00:27:03,067 --> 00:27:04,768 Nice to meet you. It says here you're French? 645 00:27:04,836 --> 00:27:07,104 So you worked at your last job for 15 years 646 00:27:07,172 --> 00:27:08,972 as assistant to the regional manager. 647 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,240 Assistant regional manager. 648 00:27:10,308 --> 00:27:11,508 Assistant to the regional manager. 649 00:27:11,576 --> 00:27:14,445 - Assistant regional manager. - What is it? 650 00:27:14,512 --> 00:27:15,813 Assistant regional manager. 651 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,147 Oh. That's my mistake. Sorry about that. 652 00:27:17,215 --> 00:27:18,382 The last paper company you worked for 653 00:27:18,450 --> 00:27:19,850 burned to the ground? 654 00:27:19,918 --> 00:27:21,718 "All because they wouldn't hire a manager 655 00:27:21,786 --> 00:27:22,986 who lived and breathed paper." 656 00:27:23,054 --> 00:27:24,488 That's a travesty. 657 00:27:24,556 --> 00:27:26,857 I wanna talk to Dwight Schrute for a second. 658 00:27:26,925 --> 00:27:28,492 I wanna ask him a question. 659 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:29,660 Get Dwight. 660 00:27:29,727 --> 00:27:31,628 If he isn't here in 60 seconds... 661 00:27:33,531 --> 00:27:35,499 Wait, wait! No. Stop, stop. 662 00:27:35,567 --> 00:27:37,801 Jo... 663 00:27:37,869 --> 00:27:39,970 It's me. I'm Dwight. 664 00:27:41,239 --> 00:27:42,739 No. 665 00:27:42,807 --> 00:27:44,041 No. Wait. But-- 666 00:27:44,108 --> 00:27:46,710 I mean, you're Dwight and then... 667 00:27:46,778 --> 00:27:47,978 He's the-- 668 00:27:48,046 --> 00:27:49,379 Yeah. 669 00:27:51,115 --> 00:27:53,717 Very unprofessional, Jacques. 670 00:27:53,785 --> 00:27:56,186 Or should I say Dwight? 671 00:27:56,254 --> 00:27:59,223 Let's just say I had hired this Jack Souvenier. 672 00:27:59,290 --> 00:28:00,491 Then what? 673 00:28:00,558 --> 00:28:02,092 I would have dressed this way every day, 674 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,895 legally changed my name, learned French sign language, 675 00:28:04,963 --> 00:28:07,431 shown up, and been the best damn branch manager 676 00:28:07,499 --> 00:28:08,832 you'd ever seen. 677 00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:10,534 All that for this job. 678 00:28:10,602 --> 00:28:12,102 Yes. 679 00:28:13,404 --> 00:28:15,272 That's [Bleep] Crazy. 680 00:28:16,808 --> 00:28:17,975 Get outta here. 681 00:28:21,246 --> 00:28:23,747 What a nut job. 682 00:28:27,501 --> 00:28:28,801 This guy was good, although he did keep saying 683 00:28:28,869 --> 00:28:30,770 that he needed two weeks off right at the beginning 684 00:28:30,837 --> 00:28:32,138 for a trip to the Finger Lakes. 685 00:28:32,205 --> 00:28:33,939 Seriously, every five minutes he was like, 686 00:28:34,007 --> 00:28:35,808 "hey, just making sure the Finger Lakes thing is clear." 687 00:28:35,876 --> 00:28:37,810 Okay. It's fun to talk about the rejects, 688 00:28:37,878 --> 00:28:39,612 but, uh... Who's got ya excited? 689 00:28:39,679 --> 00:28:41,080 Finger Lakes guy is good. 690 00:28:41,148 --> 00:28:43,449 Darryl is also very good. 691 00:28:43,517 --> 00:28:46,852 Who's this fellow? Went to Cornell. 692 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,522 What's wrong with him? How much time do you have? 693 00:28:49,589 --> 00:28:51,157 Sales ability--none. 694 00:28:51,224 --> 00:28:54,026 See sales ability. 695 00:28:54,094 --> 00:28:55,661 And that's your unbiased opinion. 696 00:28:55,729 --> 00:28:57,196 - Yes, it is. - So it's not relevant 697 00:28:57,264 --> 00:29:00,366 that he took the receptionist away from ya. 698 00:29:00,434 --> 00:29:02,835 Aw, Jo. Jo, I'm disappointed in you. 699 00:29:02,903 --> 00:29:05,604 Some people let personal things into the work-- 700 00:29:05,672 --> 00:29:07,573 is she with him? Because I-I thought that-- 701 00:29:07,641 --> 00:29:10,009 - Gabe! Ohh! 702 00:29:10,076 --> 00:29:11,477 You got all close to these people, 703 00:29:11,545 --> 00:29:13,779 got involved in their lives. 704 00:29:13,847 --> 00:29:15,014 Let's get ya back to Florida. 705 00:29:15,081 --> 00:29:16,982 We'll figure out something for ya. 706 00:29:17,050 --> 00:29:18,417 That sounds like a promotion. 707 00:29:18,485 --> 00:29:20,352 It's not. 708 00:29:20,420 --> 00:29:22,087 Let's get Kelly in here to take his place. 709 00:29:22,155 --> 00:29:23,656 Um...Why Kelly? 710 00:29:23,723 --> 00:29:25,825 'Cause Gabe's tall and weak. She's short and strong. 711 00:29:25,892 --> 00:29:27,593 I'm doing an opposites thing. 712 00:29:27,661 --> 00:29:28,994 Okay. 713 00:29:29,062 --> 00:29:30,429 How'd my girl Nelly do? 714 00:29:30,497 --> 00:29:32,031 Oh. I didn't know you knew her. 715 00:29:32,098 --> 00:29:34,166 - She didn't mention it? - No. 716 00:29:34,234 --> 00:29:36,635 Integrity move. I like it. 717 00:29:36,703 --> 00:29:38,537 Yeah, uh, she also gave me reason to think 718 00:29:38,605 --> 00:29:40,539 that maybe she wasn't a good fit. 719 00:29:40,607 --> 00:29:42,208 Well, I'm not saying you must hire her. 720 00:29:42,275 --> 00:29:45,478 If you find someone who's clearly a fit, then fine. 721 00:29:45,545 --> 00:29:47,813 Just make sure they fit real good. 722 00:29:47,881 --> 00:29:50,683 No more manager turnover. Don't mess this up, Jim. 723 00:29:52,219 --> 00:29:53,819 And give Dwight an interview. 724 00:29:53,887 --> 00:29:56,322 I like a little bit of crazy. 725 00:29:59,292 --> 00:30:01,694 - Ah! - Erin, what are you doing? 726 00:30:01,761 --> 00:30:03,829 I've been turned into a puppet. 727 00:30:03,897 --> 00:30:05,965 Okay. 728 00:30:06,032 --> 00:30:07,867 Look at the puppet. Hi, puppet. 729 00:30:07,934 --> 00:30:09,301 Who are you? 730 00:30:09,369 --> 00:30:11,370 I went to drop off the FedEx forms, 731 00:30:11,438 --> 00:30:15,674 and an evil witch named Angela turned me into a puppet! 732 00:30:15,742 --> 00:30:17,543 Yeah. 733 00:30:17,611 --> 00:30:19,378 Low blow, puppet. 734 00:30:19,446 --> 00:30:21,747 And there's only one thing that can change me back 735 00:30:21,815 --> 00:30:24,049 into a real girl. 736 00:30:25,552 --> 00:30:26,619 It's good. 737 00:30:26,686 --> 00:30:28,187 It's just that I wish the puppet 738 00:30:28,255 --> 00:30:30,456 would talk more about the alphabet. 739 00:30:30,524 --> 00:30:32,892 Not for me, but... 740 00:30:32,959 --> 00:30:34,894 If any kids are watching. 741 00:30:34,961 --> 00:30:38,831 A, b, and so forth. 742 00:30:38,899 --> 00:30:40,599 You know. 743 00:30:40,667 --> 00:30:44,737 M, N, L, O. P. 744 00:30:44,804 --> 00:30:48,007 F. 745 00:30:48,074 --> 00:30:51,076 I need the most special thing in the office. 746 00:30:51,144 --> 00:30:52,411 Silence? 747 00:30:52,479 --> 00:30:55,581 A date with the best salesman... 748 00:30:55,649 --> 00:30:57,550 Andy Bernard! 749 00:31:06,426 --> 00:31:09,562 Hey, Erin. Oh. 750 00:31:09,629 --> 00:31:11,263 Where'd you learn how to puppet like that? 751 00:31:11,331 --> 00:31:13,465 - I've done it all my life-- - Listen, I'm really flattered, 752 00:31:13,533 --> 00:31:15,401 but I don't think we should. 753 00:31:21,675 --> 00:31:23,709 Erin's my best friend in this office, 754 00:31:23,777 --> 00:31:25,978 hands down. 755 00:31:26,046 --> 00:31:27,179 But... 756 00:31:27,247 --> 00:31:28,447 When she asked me out, 757 00:31:28,515 --> 00:31:30,783 I just didn't have that feeling, you know? 758 00:31:30,850 --> 00:31:32,851 Aren't there some things that you really want to like 759 00:31:32,919 --> 00:31:35,955 but you just can't seem to like it? 760 00:31:36,022 --> 00:31:39,758 Like Mad Men or football. 761 00:31:39,826 --> 00:31:41,927 Let's not forget. Erin chose Gabe over me. 762 00:31:41,995 --> 00:31:44,229 That happened. 763 00:31:44,297 --> 00:31:48,767 I'm not gonna apologize for getting over her...Okay? 764 00:31:48,835 --> 00:31:50,703 I'm sorry. 765 00:31:50,770 --> 00:31:55,174 I would go for someone who's more... 766 00:31:55,241 --> 00:31:58,110 She's great, though. 767 00:31:58,178 --> 00:32:00,212 Stanley, I won't be able to invite 768 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:01,880 everyone to the wedding, 769 00:32:01,948 --> 00:32:03,949 because we wanna keep it to 350. 770 00:32:04,017 --> 00:32:05,751 - I'll get over it. - I mean, 771 00:32:05,819 --> 00:32:07,419 we just have to see how many senators 772 00:32:07,487 --> 00:32:09,221 and members of congress want to attend 773 00:32:09,289 --> 00:32:12,691 before we can open it up to regular people. 774 00:32:12,759 --> 00:32:15,694 Pam, you know how you and Jim did your ironic wedding? 775 00:32:15,762 --> 00:32:17,229 Do you still have the plans 776 00:32:17,297 --> 00:32:18,897 for the dream wedding that you couldn't afford? 777 00:32:18,965 --> 00:32:20,766 That was our dream wedding. 778 00:32:20,834 --> 00:32:23,469 Niagara falls? 779 00:32:23,536 --> 00:32:26,605 Pregnant? That was your dream? 780 00:32:26,673 --> 00:32:28,807 Pork medallions? 781 00:32:30,343 --> 00:32:32,544 I hope... 782 00:32:32,612 --> 00:32:35,481 You have a very beautiful wedding, Angela. 783 00:32:37,484 --> 00:32:39,485 All right. 784 00:32:39,552 --> 00:32:41,253 Name. Dwight Schrute. 785 00:32:41,321 --> 00:32:43,422 Thank you, Mr. Scnoot. We will let you know. 786 00:32:43,490 --> 00:32:45,257 - You have to interview me. - I just did. 787 00:32:45,325 --> 00:32:46,625 The answer to that one question 788 00:32:46,693 --> 00:32:47,960 told me everything I need to know. 789 00:32:48,028 --> 00:32:49,228 I demand more questions! 790 00:32:49,295 --> 00:32:50,562 All right, guys. Good day. 791 00:32:50,630 --> 00:32:52,064 A lot of candidates. Let's discuss. 792 00:32:52,132 --> 00:32:53,799 Okay. If you're not gonna interview me, 793 00:32:53,867 --> 00:32:55,300 then I'll do it. Yes. 794 00:32:56,636 --> 00:32:58,103 What will be your first priority? 795 00:32:58,171 --> 00:33:01,674 I will have seven first priorities. 796 00:33:01,741 --> 00:33:03,976 Safety, profits, 797 00:33:04,044 --> 00:33:06,412 fostering a community of self-reliance 798 00:33:06,479 --> 00:33:08,113 and entrepreneurship, 799 00:33:08,181 --> 00:33:09,114 listening, 800 00:33:09,182 --> 00:33:11,483 respect for human life, 801 00:33:11,551 --> 00:33:12,985 bolstering our public image, 802 00:33:13,053 --> 00:33:17,256 and... Getting everyone home on time. 803 00:33:17,323 --> 00:33:18,657 Dwight, let me be Frank. 804 00:33:18,725 --> 00:33:20,759 In an accident that no one can blame you for, 805 00:33:20,827 --> 00:33:23,929 an antique gun was discharged while you were acting manager. 806 00:33:23,997 --> 00:33:26,832 How are we ever to trust you again? 807 00:33:29,836 --> 00:33:31,804 That's a great question. 808 00:33:31,871 --> 00:33:34,073 I am going to institute 809 00:33:34,140 --> 00:33:37,609 a strict no firearms policy for this office 810 00:33:37,677 --> 00:33:40,379 that extends to myself as well. 811 00:33:40,447 --> 00:33:43,716 Wow. All of my concerns are disappearing. 812 00:33:43,783 --> 00:33:45,651 - Thank you, Dwight. - Thank you. 813 00:33:49,756 --> 00:33:52,324 You'll be hearing from us shortly, Mr. Schrute, 814 00:33:52,392 --> 00:33:54,326 and I think you're going to like the call 815 00:33:54,394 --> 00:33:56,228 you're going to receive. 816 00:33:56,296 --> 00:33:59,231 Oh, come on. 817 00:33:59,299 --> 00:34:02,201 I'm just happy that I got this meeting. 818 00:34:06,272 --> 00:34:07,406 Well, that was quick. 819 00:34:07,474 --> 00:34:10,242 Very, very interesting. 820 00:34:10,310 --> 00:34:13,479 And you know what? I'm impressed. 821 00:34:13,546 --> 00:34:15,848 - He's not a real candidate. - I don't know, Jim, 822 00:34:15,915 --> 00:34:17,249 'cause it makes me think about something 823 00:34:17,317 --> 00:34:18,717 that my grandfather used to say, which is that 824 00:34:18,785 --> 00:34:21,353 sometimes the hand that jumps out of the grave 825 00:34:21,421 --> 00:34:22,855 and grabs you around the throat, 826 00:34:22,922 --> 00:34:25,324 that is the hand that you want on the wheel. 827 00:34:25,391 --> 00:34:27,426 - You took the deal. - Yeah. It was a great deal. 828 00:34:27,494 --> 00:34:29,061 - That's not okay. - I don't know. 829 00:34:29,129 --> 00:34:31,063 Dwight seems like a great leader to me, 830 00:34:31,131 --> 00:34:32,731 and I look forward to the personal perks 831 00:34:32,799 --> 00:34:34,199 that he promised me privately. 832 00:34:34,267 --> 00:34:35,534 What do you think, Toby? 833 00:34:35,602 --> 00:34:37,603 Well, we could try him out for a little while. 834 00:34:37,670 --> 00:34:39,838 If it doesn't work out, you know, 835 00:34:39,906 --> 00:34:42,407 maybe one of us could, you know, step in... 836 00:34:42,475 --> 00:34:44,777 What is happening right now? 837 00:34:47,112 --> 00:34:49,128 Is it true that you're making Dwight the manager? 838 00:34:49,233 --> 00:34:50,667 No. Why would you think that? 839 00:34:50,735 --> 00:34:52,669 Well, he and Kelly said, then they pre-fired me. 840 00:34:52,737 --> 00:34:53,737 Okay. 841 00:34:56,107 --> 00:34:57,908 Okay, guys, just so you all know, 842 00:34:57,975 --> 00:34:59,843 no decision has been made. 843 00:34:59,911 --> 00:35:01,678 And Dwight is definitely not the boss. 844 00:35:01,746 --> 00:35:02,746 That is correct. 845 00:35:02,814 --> 00:35:04,748 Actually, Dwight is not the manager yet. 846 00:35:04,816 --> 00:35:07,117 No, no, no, not-- Not ever, 'cause that's not gonna happen. 847 00:35:07,185 --> 00:35:09,219 Well, it's not entirely up to you, is it? 848 00:35:09,287 --> 00:35:11,888 Seems to me like someone is getting a little power mad. 849 00:35:11,956 --> 00:35:13,123 Am I the only one who remembers 850 00:35:13,191 --> 00:35:14,524 what he did when he was in charge? 851 00:35:14,592 --> 00:35:16,760 I feel like I'm going a little bit crazy. 852 00:35:16,828 --> 00:35:18,228 Tuna... You're completely sane. 853 00:35:18,296 --> 00:35:20,731 - Thank you. - Who do you like for the job? 854 00:35:20,798 --> 00:35:22,632 Is there anyone who maybe 855 00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,301 was a little underwhelming at first 856 00:35:24,368 --> 00:35:26,002 but now seems like a safe... 857 00:35:26,070 --> 00:35:29,039 If not slightly unexciting choice? 858 00:35:29,107 --> 00:35:32,576 Okay. It seems like everybody has an opinion, so who else? 859 00:35:32,643 --> 00:35:34,277 Anybody? Do you mean it? 860 00:35:34,345 --> 00:35:36,146 Anybody? Are you sure? 861 00:35:36,214 --> 00:35:37,981 I suppose I am. 862 00:35:38,049 --> 00:35:41,551 Okay. Well, what do I want in a manager? 863 00:35:41,619 --> 00:35:44,054 Let me see. 864 00:35:44,122 --> 00:35:47,491 What do I want? 865 00:35:47,558 --> 00:35:49,593 I don't think he meant-- 866 00:35:49,660 --> 00:35:51,962 So now anyone gets to talk at any time? 867 00:35:52,029 --> 00:35:53,597 Go ahead. 868 00:35:53,664 --> 00:35:56,733 What do I want? 869 00:35:58,569 --> 00:36:00,971 I'm looking for someone 870 00:36:01,038 --> 00:36:02,305 who... 871 00:36:03,975 --> 00:36:06,276 Everyone is listening to me. 872 00:36:07,578 --> 00:36:08,612 - Can I say-- - Yes. 873 00:36:08,679 --> 00:36:10,180 I think it should be Darryl. 874 00:36:10,248 --> 00:36:11,748 - Okay. - What a surprise. 875 00:36:11,816 --> 00:36:14,284 Minorities sticking together. Kelly's on your side. 876 00:36:14,352 --> 00:36:16,987 I'm sorry, is that all you think of me-- A minority? 877 00:36:17,054 --> 00:36:19,089 I am so much more than that. 878 00:36:19,157 --> 00:36:20,857 I am a dancer. I'm a singer. 879 00:36:20,925 --> 00:36:22,292 I'm a fashion designer. 880 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,228 Whoever it is, I think they should be lame. 881 00:36:25,296 --> 00:36:28,999 Kind of a nonthreatening, moderate personality. 882 00:36:29,066 --> 00:36:30,400 - I want an outsider. - Perfect. 883 00:36:30,468 --> 00:36:33,870 There are several outside candidates that we think-- 884 00:36:33,938 --> 00:36:35,205 No, I mean an outsider. 885 00:36:35,273 --> 00:36:37,040 Like someone on the margins of society 886 00:36:37,108 --> 00:36:39,409 who doesn't see things the way we do, 887 00:36:39,477 --> 00:36:41,011 like a homeless person. A homeless person. 888 00:36:41,078 --> 00:36:43,680 Really? A homeless person. 889 00:36:43,748 --> 00:36:45,182 No. You're right, Pam. 890 00:36:45,249 --> 00:36:46,650 Let's just leave them to the welfare system 891 00:36:46,717 --> 00:36:48,552 and let that handle it. No, I want you to say 892 00:36:48,619 --> 00:36:51,188 that you think the best person to be our new manager 893 00:36:51,255 --> 00:36:52,522 is a homeless person. 894 00:36:52,590 --> 00:36:54,357 Let me guess who you want, Pam. 895 00:36:54,425 --> 00:36:56,092 Rachael ray? The ladies of the view? 896 00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:00,564 I got away with everything under the last boss, 897 00:37:00,631 --> 00:37:02,532 and it wasn't good for me at all. 898 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:06,203 So I want guidance. I want leadership. 899 00:37:06,270 --> 00:37:09,206 But don't just like boss me around, you know? 900 00:37:09,273 --> 00:37:10,841 Like lead me. 901 00:37:10,908 --> 00:37:14,177 Lead me... When I'm in the mood 902 00:37:14,245 --> 00:37:15,879 to be led. 903 00:37:15,947 --> 00:37:17,380 I just want for once 904 00:37:17,448 --> 00:37:19,916 a small, professional, decisive, 905 00:37:19,984 --> 00:37:21,885 well-hung man in his 40s. 906 00:37:21,953 --> 00:37:23,587 - Hey, hey, hey! - Okay, fine. 907 00:37:23,654 --> 00:37:25,822 Uh, the guy with a tiny penis. 908 00:37:25,890 --> 00:37:29,492 Are you happy? Let's hire that guy! 909 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:30,994 She may have a point there. 910 00:37:31,062 --> 00:37:33,897 Would a small penis work? 911 00:37:33,965 --> 00:37:35,832 Small to moderate. 912 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:37,167 Gotta catch a plane. 913 00:37:37,235 --> 00:37:38,935 Oh, hey, Gabe, I'm sorry. 914 00:37:39,003 --> 00:37:40,570 We didn't get you a cake or anything. 915 00:37:40,638 --> 00:37:42,005 We're gonna miss you. 916 00:37:42,073 --> 00:37:44,908 Oh, well, I'm still the corporate liaison to the branch. 917 00:37:44,976 --> 00:37:47,344 You are not leaving without giving me a hug. 918 00:37:48,646 --> 00:37:50,413 Ugh! Okay, you know what? 919 00:37:50,481 --> 00:37:51,748 You don't need to make that sound. 920 00:37:51,816 --> 00:37:53,149 I'm sorry. You were just a lot bonier 921 00:37:53,217 --> 00:37:54,517 than I thought you were gonna be! 922 00:37:54,585 --> 00:37:56,386 There are plenty of people who love touching me. 923 00:37:56,454 --> 00:37:57,888 I'm a terrific hugger. 924 00:37:57,955 --> 00:37:59,389 I've been with a bunch of girls 925 00:37:59,457 --> 00:38:01,925 where that's basically all they wanna do. 926 00:38:01,993 --> 00:38:04,027 I will see you all soon. Later, man. 927 00:38:04,095 --> 00:38:05,595 - Good luck. - We'll miss you. 928 00:38:05,663 --> 00:38:07,097 Good luck at your new job. 929 00:38:07,164 --> 00:38:08,632 Uh, listen up. 930 00:38:08,699 --> 00:38:10,433 Listen up, ladies. 931 00:38:10,501 --> 00:38:12,936 I want the job. 932 00:38:13,004 --> 00:38:14,871 There. I said it. 933 00:38:14,939 --> 00:38:16,840 I'm educated. I'm capable. 934 00:38:16,908 --> 00:38:21,878 I like all of you, and I won't make any changes. 935 00:38:21,946 --> 00:38:23,713 I see it. 936 00:38:23,781 --> 00:38:26,583 I see it like I see a Mountain that I'm standing in front of 937 00:38:26,651 --> 00:38:28,618 and facing and I'm liking. 938 00:38:28,686 --> 00:38:30,020 Yeah. 939 00:38:30,087 --> 00:38:32,255 Andy would be wonderful as boss. 940 00:38:32,323 --> 00:38:34,591 Erin made a good point. 941 00:38:34,659 --> 00:38:38,395 No. We're not related. I got the call. 942 00:38:38,462 --> 00:38:41,865 But... I'll tell her some other day. 943 00:38:41,933 --> 00:38:43,600 What about Darryl? 944 00:38:43,668 --> 00:38:46,636 We can all agree that he's a stand-up guy, right? 945 00:38:46,704 --> 00:38:48,738 Well, let me be clear. I only speak for myself 946 00:38:48,806 --> 00:38:51,141 and not myself and the senator. 947 00:38:51,208 --> 00:38:53,243 I think we have some wonderful candidates, 948 00:38:53,311 --> 00:38:55,612 and there is a great lively debate here. 949 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,747 But let's think about-- - No. No. 950 00:38:57,815 --> 00:39:00,417 No. Sorry. We cut Kevin off for the same thing. 951 00:39:00,484 --> 00:39:02,452 You have to have something to say if you talk. 952 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,454 Exactly. 953 00:39:04,522 --> 00:39:06,456 Jada. No, no, no. Jada, what are you do-- 954 00:39:06,524 --> 00:39:08,558 Oh. So sorry, guys. 955 00:39:08,626 --> 00:39:11,161 I hope my family didn't disrupt your meeting. 956 00:39:11,228 --> 00:39:13,964 Daddy, are these the people who are making you manager? 957 00:39:14,031 --> 00:39:17,233 Maybe, sweetheart. 958 00:39:17,301 --> 00:39:19,336 Single dad. Challenges. 959 00:39:19,403 --> 00:39:22,305 I don't know if he'd be a good manager, 960 00:39:22,373 --> 00:39:23,807 but he's a really great dad. 961 00:39:23,874 --> 00:39:25,642 Okay. Shush. This was a mistake. 962 00:39:25,710 --> 00:39:26,910 Let's go. 963 00:39:26,978 --> 00:39:29,479 It seems like we all know enough to vote. 964 00:39:29,547 --> 00:39:31,948 Should just vote now? What? No, no, no. 965 00:39:32,016 --> 00:39:33,249 It's not a vote. Then what was this all about? 966 00:39:33,317 --> 00:39:34,417 I don't know. 967 00:39:34,485 --> 00:39:35,852 This conversation really got away from me. 968 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,354 I don't care. They can just vote. 969 00:39:37,421 --> 00:39:39,022 No, they can't. 970 00:39:39,090 --> 00:39:40,824 That's not how this is gonna work. 971 00:39:40,891 --> 00:39:42,258 We're going in this room. 972 00:39:42,326 --> 00:39:43,760 We're gonna have a meeting. 973 00:39:43,828 --> 00:39:45,662 We're gonna make a recommendation to Jo, 974 00:39:45,730 --> 00:39:48,231 and she's gonna give you her recommendation on Monday, okay? 975 00:39:48,299 --> 00:39:50,400 What the hell happened out there? 976 00:39:54,472 --> 00:39:57,607 Sometimes you hear people talking about failing upwards. 977 00:39:57,675 --> 00:40:01,044 I think I'm about to do that. 978 00:40:01,112 --> 00:40:03,880 This job? Oh, yeah, I'll get it. 979 00:40:03,948 --> 00:40:06,082 Jo's an old friend. 980 00:40:06,150 --> 00:40:09,185 I think... I'm her best friend. 981 00:40:09,253 --> 00:40:11,021 She's not my best friend. 982 00:40:11,088 --> 00:40:12,922 Every day, I have a blueberry muffin. 983 00:40:12,990 --> 00:40:15,925 Today I did not have a blueberry muffin. 984 00:40:15,993 --> 00:40:18,628 Should have had the blueberry muffin. 985 00:40:18,696 --> 00:40:22,065 Especially considering how incredibly superstitious I am. 986 00:40:22,133 --> 00:40:24,934 No. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. 987 00:40:25,002 --> 00:40:28,571 I will be the new boss of... 988 00:40:28,639 --> 00:40:31,041 Vance refrigeration. 989 00:40:31,108 --> 00:40:33,877 Honestly, I think I-- I sabotaged myself. 990 00:40:33,944 --> 00:40:37,781 It's like I'm afraid of being happy. 991 00:40:37,848 --> 00:40:39,783 Case in point... 992 00:40:39,850 --> 00:40:42,352 I was supposed to start another job today. 993 00:40:42,420 --> 00:40:44,888 I will get offered the job. 994 00:40:44,955 --> 00:40:47,957 That's a...Call I've received many times. 995 00:40:48,025 --> 00:40:50,960 The slight... Hopefulness in their voice, 996 00:40:51,028 --> 00:40:53,329 the pregnant pause while they... 997 00:40:53,397 --> 00:40:55,732 Wait to hear my response. 998 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,735 And then... My response. 999 00:41:00,004 --> 00:41:01,137 I want the job. 1000 00:41:01,205 --> 00:41:02,839 I really do. 1001 00:41:02,907 --> 00:41:04,240 It's just the rest of my family's 1002 00:41:04,308 --> 00:41:05,775 in the Finger Lakes right now. 1003 00:41:05,843 --> 00:41:08,511 I'm supposed to be in the Finger Lakes right now. 1004 00:41:08,579 --> 00:41:11,981 I told 'em I was on a hike, snuck away to do this interview. 1005 00:41:12,049 --> 00:41:14,918 I gotta get back pretty soon. They'll worry. 1006 00:41:14,985 --> 00:41:17,053 People disappear in the Finger Lakes. 1007 00:41:17,121 --> 00:41:19,322 I will run this branch 1008 00:41:19,390 --> 00:41:24,327 or I will destroy this branch. 1009 00:41:24,395 --> 00:41:26,529 Or...I don't know. 1010 00:41:26,597 --> 00:41:28,398 Something always works out. 1011 00:41:33,338 --> 00:41:38,071 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 1012 00:41:39,983 --> 00:41:42,284 You remind me so much of my fourth biggest client. 1013 00:41:42,352 --> 00:41:43,519 Is that right? 1014 00:41:43,586 --> 00:41:44,987 I think you two should meet. 1015 00:41:45,055 --> 00:41:46,955 Well, okay... 1016 00:41:47,023 --> 00:41:48,357 Hey, Jordana, patch my ninth 1017 00:41:48,425 --> 00:41:50,359 and my fourth biggest client together. 1018 00:41:54,531 --> 00:41:56,799 Hello? Hello! 1019 00:41:56,866 --> 00:41:59,802 Hi, how are ya? Oh, I'm good! 1020 00:41:59,803 --> 00:42:03,696 Don't you just love paper and things about paper? 1021 00:42:04,108 --> 00:42:07,443 Hey! Are you single? This seems like a love connection to me! 1022 00:42:07,834 --> 00:42:09,350 It's kismet!