1
00:00:04,145 --> 00:00:06,599
So this isn't matching up with this.

2
00:00:06,724 --> 00:00:08,468
So I'm not sure which one is right.

3
00:00:08,635 --> 00:00:11,638
- Can you hand down the original.
- Yes, me do.

4
00:00:11,805 --> 00:00:12,723
{\pos(192,240)}All right.

5
00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:20,480
{\pos(192,240)}What were you saying before
about the paperwork?

6
00:00:21,069 --> 00:00:23,149
{\pos(192,240)}Me doing now!
Go.

7
00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:24,388
Stop worry.

8
00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,735
- Kevin, do you feel okay?
- Me feel good.

9
00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:28,822
Body strong.

10
00:00:28,988 --> 00:00:31,867
- Sleep big last night.
- We should get him to the hospital.

11
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,574
Why don't you come with us?

12
00:00:33,699 --> 00:00:35,453
- No, guys.
- He's fine.

13
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,664
- He's always been like that.
- No, he hasn't.

14
00:00:37,831 --> 00:00:40,417
He's gotten worse
over the years, but...

15
00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:41,667
He make a statement.

16
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:44,265
It's an ironic comment
on our expectations of him.

17
00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:46,077
A funhouse image

18
00:00:46,202 --> 00:00:47,591
of our model of Kevin.

19
00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:49,259
You keep think that.

20
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,762
Me mechanic not speak English.

21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,220
But he know what me mean
when me say, "car no go,"

22
00:00:55,641 --> 00:00:57,149
and we best friends.

23
00:00:57,274 --> 00:01:00,012
So me think,
why waste time say lot word

24
00:01:00,137 --> 00:01:01,938
when few word do trick?

25
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,400
Kevin,
I appreciate what you're trying to do.

26
00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:06,486
Thank.

27
00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:09,269
Here, we have a word code.

28
00:01:09,799 --> 00:01:11,281
The same way we have a dress code.

29
00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:13,945
And what we're talking about

30
00:01:14,858 --> 00:01:16,837
is basically the speech equivalent

31
00:01:17,523 --> 00:01:19,039
to just wearing underpants.

32
00:01:20,097 --> 00:01:21,762
Sometimes, words

33
00:01:22,605 --> 00:01:24,096
you no need use

34
00:01:25,372 --> 00:01:27,437
but need-need for talk-talk.

35
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,671
But save time.

36
00:01:29,796 --> 00:01:31,785
- More success.
- Does it save time, though?

37
00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:33,637
'Cause we've been here
for about an hour.

38
00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:35,055
No me fault.

39
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:39,986
At most, you're saving
a microscopic amount of time.

40
00:01:41,353 --> 00:01:44,064
Many small time make big time.

41
00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:46,149
What are you gonna do
with all this time?

42
00:01:46,316 --> 00:01:47,792
See world.

43
00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:50,695
You can't possibly save enough time
to see the world.

44
00:01:50,862 --> 00:01:52,813
Are you saying, "see the world"

45
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,282
or "seaworld"?

46
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,545
See world.

47
00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:56,653
Oceans,

48
00:01:56,778 --> 00:01:58,085
fish, jump.

49
00:01:58,572 --> 00:01:59,496
China.

50
00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:00,518
No, see?

51
00:02:00,643 --> 00:02:02,894
Right there,
that's the problem with your method.

52
00:02:03,019 --> 00:02:05,661
'Cause I still don't know
if you said seaworld or see the world,

53
00:02:05,786 --> 00:02:07,545
it's taking a lot of time
to explain it.

54
00:02:08,676 --> 00:02:09,530
Fine.

55
00:02:09,655 --> 00:02:11,551
Fine.
I'll talk normally.

56
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:14,052
When me president,

57
00:02:14,744 --> 00:02:15,803
they see.

58
00:02:17,522 --> 00:02:18,624
They see.

59
00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:22,143
- Feygnasse Team -

60
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:25,146
.:: La Fabrique ::.

61
00:02:49,026 --> 00:02:51,756
{\pos(270,155)}8x02: <i>The Incentive</i>

62
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,258
This week, we are rolling out

63
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,200
the brand-new sabre tablet...

64
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:56,963
The pyramid.

65
00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,033
Why is it shaped like that?

66
00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,559
So you can tell your clients,
"unleash the power of the pyramid."

67
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,686
It's huge.
How much does it weigh?

68
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,249
Without the battery pack

69
00:03:06,374 --> 00:03:08,690
and the optional memory booster,
it's barely three pounds.

70
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,317
- How much memorywithout the booster?
- 50 "L."

71
00:03:11,484 --> 00:03:12,642
I'm sorry, "L"?

72
00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:14,318
How many "L" to a "K"?

73
00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:16,088
You're really gonna want the booster.

74
00:03:16,213 --> 00:03:18,241
- How are we supposed to sell...
- I'll take five.

75
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,658
Andy,
don't make us sell this stupid thing.

76
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,799
This is Dwight's meeting.
Thank you.

77
00:03:22,924 --> 00:03:25,004
{\a1}I just wanted to pop in
and get your opinions

78
00:03:25,129 --> 00:03:27,000
{\a1}on ties and tie clips.

79
00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:29,085
Which combo do you think
Robert's gonna like more?

80
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,689
What do you think, c-span?

81
00:03:33,048 --> 00:03:34,707
{\pos(120,268)}- C-span?
- Yeah...

82
00:03:34,832 --> 00:03:36,426
{\pos(120,268)}C-span.
Cocker spaniel.

83
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:38,803
Spaniel for your Spanish bloodline,
cocker 'cause...

84
00:03:41,950 --> 00:03:44,144
{\a1}Is this really the best use
of our collective time?

85
00:03:44,771 --> 00:03:47,533
{\a1}I am still forming
a first impression with Robert.

86
00:03:47,658 --> 00:03:50,317
{\a1}Once it is formed,
we can all relax, okay?

87
00:03:50,442 --> 00:03:52,567
{\a1}I'm sorry to hijack your meeting,
D-dub-dog.

88
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,069
Had to pull rank.

89
00:03:57,522 --> 00:03:59,252
Let's look at some ties.

90
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:01,738
{\a1}Here's how I'm gonna help out
from now on.

91
00:04:02,052 --> 00:04:03,611
{\a1}I'm going to not care.

92
00:04:03,736 --> 00:04:07,217
{\a1}And I'm gonna sit around quietly
waiting for Andy's inevitable demise.

93
00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:11,876
{\a1}Your friend Neil Patrick Harris
really made me laugh the other night.

94
00:04:13,004 --> 00:04:15,568
- D-dog, you have a message.
- You don't need to call him that.

95
00:04:15,693 --> 00:04:17,658
Andy wants us to, P-dog.

96
00:04:17,783 --> 00:04:21,429
- It's okay, E-dog. Just who called?
- Justine. She said she's coming later.

97
00:04:21,596 --> 00:04:22,748
Your ex-wife?

98
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,442
I thought she was a...
And you hated her guts.

99
00:04:28,575 --> 00:04:29,395
I like her.

100
00:04:29,562 --> 00:04:31,300
{\a1}Well, I'm just quoting you.

101
00:04:31,425 --> 00:04:33,691
{\a1}I would never say that about her.
I don't know the woman.

102
00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:34,753
No, man.

103
00:04:34,878 --> 00:04:36,007
{\pos(120,268)}We get along now.

104
00:04:36,132 --> 00:04:37,161
{\pos(120,268)}Real well.

105
00:04:37,630 --> 00:04:39,343
{\pos(120,268)}All right.
Can't wait to meet her.

106
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,813
{\pos(120,268)}I'll introduce you.

107
00:04:41,616 --> 00:04:43,070
{\a1}We had a few fights.

108
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,872
{\a1}But last night,
we put a lot of that to bed.

109
00:04:45,997 --> 00:04:49,297
{\a1}I can't tell you what I did
with my ex-wife last night.

110
00:04:50,562 --> 00:04:51,711
{\a1}I have to sing it.

111
00:04:51,836 --> 00:04:53,158
{\a1}<i>We took a shower</i>

112
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,478
{\a1}<i>We were naked</i>

113
00:04:56,248 --> 00:04:57,249
{\a1}<i>We...</i>

114
00:05:09,939 --> 00:05:10,940
Hi, dad.

115
00:05:13,975 --> 00:05:15,875
{\a1}Hello, Andy.
Excellent tie.

116
00:05:16,632 --> 00:05:19,112
Would you be requiring
a cold beverage while you're here?

117
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:20,693
I'd love some coffee.

118
00:05:21,762 --> 00:05:23,817
I was looking over your projections,

119
00:05:23,942 --> 00:05:25,535
and I think we can to better.

120
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:27,201
Are you factoring in

121
00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:29,706
the whole national economy...

122
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:32,917
- Declining and all?
- Do you know why I chose you?

123
00:05:33,084 --> 00:05:35,084
I think I can sum up
with what I think

124
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,409
is your favorite ice cream flavor.

125
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,512
- Vanilla.
- Vanilla? No.

126
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,431
You'll never guess in a million,
billion years.

127
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,182
You were saying you chose me.

128
00:05:47,809 --> 00:05:49,259
There was a reason.

129
00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:52,533
Andy, can you inspire?

130
00:05:53,062 --> 00:05:54,439
Do you have that skill set?

131
00:05:56,383 --> 00:05:57,583
Can I inspire?

132
00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,809
I don't know!

133
00:06:01,148 --> 00:06:02,298
I don't know.

134
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,132
Thank you.

135
00:06:05,429 --> 00:06:07,243
- Sorry.
- Here, just put it down.

136
00:06:20,718 --> 00:06:22,449
That is very cold.

137
00:06:23,573 --> 00:06:24,636
It's old.

138
00:06:26,143 --> 00:06:27,180
Why would I...

139
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:29,778
I asked about a cold beverage,
and you said coffee.

140
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:33,519
Why don't we get Robert a hot cup,
and I will have this.

141
00:06:33,686 --> 00:06:35,271
- Don't do that.
- I wanted

142
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,135
a freezing cup of old coffee.

143
00:06:39,393 --> 00:06:40,193
Sorry.

144
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:43,696
You like her.

145
00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:46,950
I do.

146
00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:48,952
She likes you.

147
00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:51,593
We've both been into each other
at different times,

148
00:06:51,718 --> 00:06:53,665
and just never really synced up.

149
00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:55,210
Now we're here...

150
00:06:55,335 --> 00:06:57,627
I'm afraid you've lost my interest.

151
00:06:59,994 --> 00:07:01,544
Let me call you back.

152
00:07:01,803 --> 00:07:02,853
I gotta go.

153
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,265
If the office superstore was supposed
to put us little suppliers

154
00:07:10,693 --> 00:07:13,071
out of business,
why are we still here?

155
00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:18,106
This is where we go.

156
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:19,666
You'd go someplace else.

157
00:07:19,791 --> 00:07:21,109
That's not the answer.

158
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,152
- It's a answer.
- It's a wrong one.

159
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:26,406
- There are no wrong answers.
- Take a look at where you are.

160
00:07:26,951 --> 00:07:30,272
Where you once worked
in a dying industry,

161
00:07:30,397 --> 00:07:32,197
you now work at its birth.

162
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,539
Those superstores

163
00:07:35,118 --> 00:07:37,041
are terrified of us.

164
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,043
Why?

165
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,440
Wait... They're terrified?

166
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,300
Let me tell you how I buy
something these days.

167
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:48,158
I know what I want, I go on the Internet
and get the best price.

168
00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:50,506
Or I don't know what I want,

169
00:07:50,631 --> 00:07:53,770
and I go to a small store
that can help me.

170
00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:56,556
The era of personal service is back.

171
00:07:56,681 --> 00:07:58,438
You are back.

172
00:07:58,791 --> 00:08:02,198
You'll find that customers
will pay our higher prices

173
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,068
and then they will thank us.

174
00:08:04,428 --> 00:08:07,128
And we will say to them,
"You are welcome."

175
00:08:16,372 --> 00:08:17,790
I chose you for a reason.

176
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,690
Lead these people.

177
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,755
Show me the best numbers
this place has ever seen.

178
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,961
Last quarter was 4% growth.
Double it.

179
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,009
- Got it.
- Double.

180
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,094
- I'm not kidding.
- Neither am I. It's done.

181
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,515
- Just kidding. Give me some time.
- Double.

182
00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:56,669
What's up, guys?

183
00:08:57,348 --> 00:08:59,788
Just thought we'd have
a little rap session,

184
00:08:59,913 --> 00:09:02,752
talk about business,
see how things are going.

185
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:09,092
- Why don't you start?
- If no one else wants to.

186
00:09:09,808 --> 00:09:12,908
{\pos(192,235)}I was just thinking about Robert.
Man, what a boss.

187
00:09:14,115 --> 00:09:15,473
{\pos(192,235)}Just throws down goals,

188
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:16,663
{\pos(192,235)}you know?

189
00:09:16,788 --> 00:09:19,561
{\pos(192,235)}Anyway, how's the sales doubling
project going?

190
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:22,731
{\pos(192,235)}How are we supposed to do that?
We can't just press a magic button.

191
00:09:22,897 --> 00:09:24,863
Of course not.
There's no magic button.

192
00:09:24,988 --> 00:09:26,547
You have to...

193
00:09:27,239 --> 00:09:28,528
summon that.

194
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:31,114
If we could just double our sales,
we already would have.

195
00:09:31,239 --> 00:09:32,532
You're not making sense.

196
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,284
He brings up two good points.

197
00:09:34,596 --> 00:09:35,745
Any new leads,

198
00:09:35,870 --> 00:09:38,085
any new territories
you want us to look into,

199
00:09:38,554 --> 00:09:41,041
maybe an in with a client
we could get our foot in the door?

200
00:09:42,713 --> 00:09:43,960
Dwight, anything?

201
00:09:44,530 --> 00:09:46,877
We could talk about
how fast children grow up.

202
00:09:47,002 --> 00:09:48,798
And before you know it, they're gone.

203
00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:50,800
You know what?
We need to get our heads

204
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:51,968
out of the box.

205
00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:54,166
If we did have something,

206
00:09:55,521 --> 00:09:57,769
what would it look like?

207
00:09:57,894 --> 00:09:58,888
Tuna.

208
00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:01,102
New leads,
a new territory to look into,

209
00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:04,439
maybe an in with a company
we could get our foot in the door.

210
00:10:06,879 --> 00:10:07,943
Fart.

211
00:10:09,882 --> 00:10:11,112
Good session.

212
00:10:12,551 --> 00:10:13,951
That leg's asleep.

213
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:21,498
I'm looking for a Darryl Philbin.

214
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:22,623
Don't...

215
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:27,295
You must think... I'm not.
I'm using the fax. This isn't...

216
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:30,547
No, wait. I'm not supposed
to represent the company, right?

217
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,175
There's usually an Erin here.

218
00:10:35,055 --> 00:10:36,179
A girl!

219
00:10:41,714 --> 00:10:42,944
What's up, darling?

220
00:10:43,069 --> 00:10:44,781
Hey, everybody, this is Justine.

221
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:46,656
- Hello.
- Hi, Justine.

222
00:10:47,327 --> 00:10:49,108
This is Jim

223
00:10:49,628 --> 00:10:50,522
and Oscar.

224
00:10:51,421 --> 00:10:53,113
Everybody.
Hello.

225
00:10:58,359 --> 00:11:00,245
Can we go someplace private?

226
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,137
Follow me.
I got a space.

227
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,667
After you.
I been thinking about you all morning.

228
00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:09,218
I don't know what you did.
I can barely walk today.

229
00:11:14,835 --> 00:11:16,260
D-bone.
There you are.

230
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,555
Let me guess.
Somebody needs a brownie!

231
00:11:19,396 --> 00:11:21,372
- Lick the spoon?
- No, that's okay.

232
00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:24,099
I wanted to ask you about...

233
00:11:24,224 --> 00:11:25,658
Is this about the profits?

234
00:11:25,783 --> 00:11:27,736
Because if it is,
I don't see the point.

235
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,024
It's so Wall Street.

236
00:11:29,769 --> 00:11:31,123
I know, right?

237
00:11:35,312 --> 00:11:36,619
How is everything?

238
00:11:37,682 --> 00:11:39,225
Good.
Really, really good.

239
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:41,513
Must be a tough time
to be a family farm.

240
00:11:41,638 --> 00:11:44,345
It is.
And beets are not immune.

241
00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:48,138
We made some inroads in salad,
but heirloom tomatoes are pushing back.

242
00:11:49,548 --> 00:11:51,114
What are you gonna do about that?

243
00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:52,672
What do you mean?

244
00:11:53,101 --> 00:11:55,091
Gotta be some way
to double your beet sales.

245
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:57,635
You wanted the job. The job is yours.
Just do the job.

246
00:12:00,652 --> 00:12:02,168
And I'll... do mine.

247
00:12:04,163 --> 00:12:05,164
Walnuts?

248
00:12:12,701 --> 00:12:13,985
Have you seen this?

249
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,347
<i>Parenting</i>? Yeah.

250
00:12:15,472 --> 00:12:18,406
This is Cece's favorite magazine.
She loves the pictures of babies.

251
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:21,701
- She looks at it on the potty...
- Have you read it?

252
00:12:22,276 --> 00:12:25,801
Has an adult member of your family
read this particular issue?

253
00:12:26,803 --> 00:12:27,999
I flipped through it.

254
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,998
So you saw the article
on the importance

255
00:12:30,123 --> 00:12:32,412
of taking frequent walks
while you're pregnant.

256
00:12:32,747 --> 00:12:34,452
- Of course.
- Everyone knows that.

257
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,003
I'll be taking a morning walk
and an afternoon walk.

258
00:12:37,128 --> 00:12:38,603
Would you like to join me?

259
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:40,882
- That sounds nice.
- Great.

260
00:12:42,555 --> 00:12:43,848
You have a walking buddy.

261
00:12:44,496 --> 00:12:45,497
I do!

262
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,712
Thanks for coming in.

263
00:12:47,837 --> 00:12:50,280
Don't thank us for coming in,
it's our job.

264
00:12:51,594 --> 00:12:55,109
I always wanted to be thanked for coming
into a meeting, so I'll thank people.

265
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:57,157
What's under the blanket?

266
00:12:57,982 --> 00:12:59,968
This is what's under the blanket.

267
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,158
We don't get it.

268
00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,109
These are incentives.

269
00:13:04,395 --> 00:13:06,079
It's how we're gonna double growth.

270
00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:08,660
Now, you're probably
all asking yourselves:

271
00:13:08,785 --> 00:13:10,207
"How does this work?"

272
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,709
Seems like a basic reward system
where you give us points

273
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,880
and then we redeem those points
for prizes.

274
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,798
Exactly, and you get a point.

275
00:13:19,076 --> 00:13:20,426
Is that a vibrator?

276
00:13:20,959 --> 00:13:22,801
- 20 points.
- How does one get a point?

277
00:13:22,926 --> 00:13:26,160
I've outlined the exact parameters
in an email, check your spam folders.

278
00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:27,528
But basically...

279
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,727
you do your job better,
you get points.

280
00:13:30,885 --> 00:13:32,105
Collect 15 points,

281
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,435
and redeem them for this polar bear.

282
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:37,485
Why is it all kids' stuff
and a vibrator? It's so gross.

283
00:13:37,855 --> 00:13:39,203
There's lots of stuff.

284
00:13:40,048 --> 00:13:42,323
John Irving, collected works.
22 points.

285
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,574
Or pool your points

286
00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:47,620
and redeem 55
for this maternity shirt.

287
00:13:48,746 --> 00:13:50,873
How about you want us
to work harder, pay us more?

288
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,460
- I can't.
- This is really insulting.

289
00:13:54,749 --> 00:13:57,922
I didn't mean to offend you,
and I hope you'll forgive me,

290
00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:01,509
because I'm very, very... sari.
16 points.

291
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,471
- It's a tablecloth.
- What if I have 500 points?

292
00:14:04,637 --> 00:14:06,681
- A crazy amount of points.
- But what if?

293
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:07,891
What do you want?

294
00:14:08,544 --> 00:14:11,811
I don't know. For such a crazy number,
I'd like something pretty crazy.

295
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:15,190
All right. For 500 points,
I will wear a dress to work.

296
00:14:17,197 --> 00:14:20,612
That's pretty good.
What about for 1,000 points?

297
00:14:20,778 --> 00:14:24,073
I'll run naked through the parking lot
with a doughnut on my dingdong.

298
00:14:25,528 --> 00:14:26,701
You like that?

299
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,107
All right, for 5,000 points,

300
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:32,089
I will let you tattoo
whatever you want

301
00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:34,667
on the stern of the old <i>SS Bernard</i>.

302
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:35,877
Here we go!

303
00:14:36,002 --> 00:14:38,254
All right,
and you are totally serious.

304
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,924
Swear to God, hope to die.
Now, let's get to work!

305
00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:43,384
Wait. But you did say
we could pool our points, right?

306
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,693
In that case, let's get to work.

307
00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:54,704
I can have it beginning next week.

308
00:14:54,829 --> 00:14:56,331
All right, thank you very much.

309
00:14:57,276 --> 00:14:58,733
Phyllis, brachen auto?

310
00:14:59,383 --> 00:15:02,403
Ask for Donald. Karen's bananas.
I just want you to benefit from our...

311
00:15:03,127 --> 00:15:04,290
T-bag-bone.

312
00:15:08,146 --> 00:15:10,578
{\pos(192,240)}Have you noticed a little bit
of a mood shift around here?

313
00:15:11,599 --> 00:15:13,414
{\pos(192,240)}- No, I haven't noticed anything.
- Really?

314
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,684
{\pos(192,240)}Because I sat next to Stanley
for years,

315
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,519
and this is naptime,
open-eye naptime.

316
00:15:19,644 --> 00:15:22,548
He balances the phone on his shoulder
and powers down. Now look at him.

317
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:26,094
You've got to unleash
the power of the pyramid.

318
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:27,835
I don't know what to tell you, man.

319
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:31,724
Has it something to do
with that incentive program?

320
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,851
We all want to see you
tattoo your ass.

321
00:15:35,842 --> 00:15:37,689
I was kidding when I said that.

322
00:15:37,855 --> 00:15:40,703
No, you definitely weren't kidding.
That came across loud and clear.

323
00:15:40,828 --> 00:15:42,443
By the way, wanna hand this in?

324
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,695
120 points?

325
00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:44,917
Yeah, big sale.

326
00:15:45,415 --> 00:15:47,073
I don't care about the points.

327
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,806
I would like a point receipt.

328
00:15:50,290 --> 00:15:51,953
This is Jim Halpert
calling for Donald.

329
00:15:52,223 --> 00:15:54,639
Can you hold on for one second?
Thank you very much.

330
00:15:55,006 --> 00:15:57,032
Who talked to Maggie at Kaufman's?

331
00:15:58,752 --> 00:15:59,961
Yes, Mrs. Guffner?

332
00:16:02,155 --> 00:16:03,305
And I'm back.

333
00:16:03,693 --> 00:16:04,954
How are you, sir?

334
00:16:06,113 --> 00:16:08,552
Erin can squeeze
a couple more golf games in, right?

335
00:16:12,533 --> 00:16:14,687
No, I'm not getting out there
anytime soon.

336
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,079
- What are you doing?
- Don't talk to me!

337
00:16:26,905 --> 00:16:29,950
Hi, Professor Frank.
Andy Bernard, class of '95.

338
00:16:30,295 --> 00:16:31,304
Hey, there.

339
00:16:31,429 --> 00:16:33,634
I'm a huge fan
of your management book,

340
00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:34,713
<i>Management.</i>

341
00:16:35,292 --> 00:16:38,513
Quick question.
I may be missing a chapter here.

342
00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:40,332
De-incentivizing?

343
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:43,321
What are your strategies?
Looking for a real blow to morale.

344
00:16:44,219 --> 00:16:45,220
Why?

345
00:16:46,251 --> 00:16:48,269
Well, I guess you could say

346
00:16:48,394 --> 00:16:51,929
I'm in one of those classic
ass-tattoo incentive situations.

347
00:17:03,237 --> 00:17:04,393
Took 'em one day.

348
00:17:05,151 --> 00:17:08,322
Are you ready?
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am."

349
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:11,408
I like it.

350
00:17:12,469 --> 00:17:14,019
"Do not resuscitate."

351
00:17:15,484 --> 00:17:18,306
Let's keep in mind, it's not too late
to choose another prize.

352
00:17:18,431 --> 00:17:21,380
And there are
some great new additions.

353
00:17:21,505 --> 00:17:24,646
My car...
For 1,000 points.

354
00:17:25,192 --> 00:17:26,714
- Or best offer.
- What else?

355
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,717
And then this was Phyllis's idea.

356
00:17:32,262 --> 00:17:35,180
- Oh, my God!
- So nasty, Phyllis.

357
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,771
We were hoping you could do
something like this.

358
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,274
So coming out of his butt is a...

359
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,026
- Baby.
- Baby, yes.

360
00:17:46,895 --> 00:17:48,112
Yeah, no problem.

361
00:17:50,048 --> 00:17:53,075
We should think about this.
Anyone have any better ideas?

362
00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:54,481
I like what we have.

363
00:17:55,036 --> 00:17:57,103
- Nice try.
- For sure what we have.

364
00:17:57,228 --> 00:17:58,428
It's apropos.

365
00:18:01,045 --> 00:18:02,562
Just need a second outside.

366
00:18:11,263 --> 00:18:12,594
You getting psyched up?

367
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,887
Nobody really expects you
to go through with this.

368
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:16,056
Tunes...

369
00:18:16,701 --> 00:18:17,880
What am I doing here?

370
00:18:19,477 --> 00:18:21,066
Why did Robert pick me?

371
00:18:21,986 --> 00:18:24,648
Confession,
I don't know what I'm doing.

372
00:18:24,814 --> 00:18:25,979
Do you like it?

373
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:28,713
You having fun?

374
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,698
Everybody else
is having a lot of fun.

375
00:18:33,314 --> 00:18:34,577
And you did that.

376
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:38,245
But my ass is only so big.
I can't do this every day.

377
00:18:38,411 --> 00:18:41,550
It's big enough to buy you some time
till your next great idea.

378
00:18:41,675 --> 00:18:43,905
Which, by the way, I can't wait for.

379
00:18:47,804 --> 00:18:49,673
No one expects me
to go through with this?

380
00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:51,258
Absolutely not.

381
00:18:56,387 --> 00:18:58,526
Let's ink my stink!

382
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:02,944
My heart belongs to music.

383
00:19:03,550 --> 00:19:06,067
But my ass belongs to these people.

384
00:19:11,194 --> 00:19:12,309
Do your worst.

385
00:19:14,907 --> 00:19:16,791
You can keep your pants on, actually.

386
00:19:16,916 --> 00:19:19,093
If you just drop 'em down a bit,
that'd be great.

387
00:19:19,218 --> 00:19:20,662
Already off, my good sir.

388
00:19:20,828 --> 00:19:22,751
I'd really prefer they not be down.

389
00:19:22,876 --> 00:19:25,501
I think down's better.
Sweating pretty heavily down there.

390
00:19:32,048 --> 00:19:34,718
You could work from this?
We made some small adjustments.

391
00:19:34,884 --> 00:19:37,123
- You want me to...
- Just these few adjustments.

392
00:19:38,304 --> 00:19:40,015
All right, let's begin.

393
00:19:40,181 --> 00:19:41,557
This is where I grin and...

394
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:44,853
- That was just a cotton swab.
- Invest in softer cotton, sir.

395
00:19:57,865 --> 00:20:00,134
Obviously,
you can go the ass tattoo route.

396
00:20:00,259 --> 00:20:02,704
And obviously, I'm gonna like it.

397
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:04,206
Draw some blood!

398
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:16,260
{\pos(192,240)}Why did I choose Andy
to run the office?

399
00:20:16,823 --> 00:20:19,596
{\pos(192,240)}Because he's all surface,
uncomplicated.

400
00:20:19,762 --> 00:20:21,557
{\pos(192,240)}What you see is what you get.

401
00:20:21,984 --> 00:20:24,475
Could be a recipe
for mediocrity, yes,

402
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:28,441
but then again, it might just be
why people fight for him.

403
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,311
It's a nard dog.

404
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,444
That's my nickety-name.

405
00:20:37,626 --> 00:20:40,115
- I love it.
- Pull up your pants.

406
00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:43,392
There's something about an underdog

407
00:20:43,517 --> 00:20:46,821
that really inspires
the unexceptional.

408
00:20:49,769 --> 00:20:51,115
What should we talk about?

409
00:20:51,603 --> 00:20:54,044
We could talk about
an ethical dilemma I'm having.

410
00:20:54,645 --> 00:20:57,014
Sure.
I hope I can help.

411
00:20:57,567 --> 00:21:00,257
A coworker of mine
is drinking caffeine while pregnant,

412
00:21:00,382 --> 00:21:02,931
and I don't know if I should
call social services about it.

413
00:21:03,097 --> 00:21:05,183
{\pos(220,260)}Angela, that's pretty
transparently me.

414
00:21:05,349 --> 00:21:06,266
{\pos(220,260)}Maybe.

415
00:21:07,126 --> 00:21:08,836
You know, it's just herbal tea.

416
00:21:08,961 --> 00:21:11,923
{\pos(192,210)}In mugs with trace amounts of coffee.

417
00:21:12,048 --> 00:21:15,039
{\pos(192,210)}Yeah, I think you should
call social services.

418
00:21:15,164 --> 00:21:16,364
{\pos(192,210)}I already did.

419
00:21:18,219 --> 00:21:20,347
{\pos(192,210)}Maybe we should
just have our own pregnancy

420
00:21:20,472 --> 00:21:22,671
{\pos(192,210)}as in not pretend
like we are in this together.

421
00:21:23,163 --> 00:21:24,766
{\pos(192,210)}- Fine.
- Fine.