1 00:00:02,686 --> 00:00:05,242 The building's custodian is on vacation for the month, 2 00:00:05,344 --> 00:00:07,526 and Dwight is too chip to hire a replacement. 3 00:00:07,638 --> 00:00:09,558 So, instead, we're living in filth, 4 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,070 but, not for long... 5 00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:14,682 because I have created the chore wheel. 6 00:00:14,972 --> 00:00:17,810 Yeah. Can I spin first? 7 00:00:17,912 --> 00:00:20,012 Well, it doesn't spin. We'll just move the wheel 8 00:00:20,014 --> 00:00:23,215 one notch each morning, and you see what chore 9 00:00:23,217 --> 00:00:24,249 you get that day. 10 00:00:24,251 --> 00:00:25,751 A wheel is supposed to spin. 11 00:00:25,753 --> 00:00:27,820 Yeah, you know, like "guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh 12 00:00:27,822 --> 00:00:29,955 - guh-guh-guh-guh-h-guh..." - No, I'm familiar 13 00:00:29,957 --> 00:00:31,290 with spinning. It's just that wouldn't work 14 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,192 with the chore wheel because people might get 15 00:00:33,194 --> 00:00:35,761 - the same chore... - Yuck. Boring. 16 00:00:35,763 --> 00:00:37,463 All she talks about is chores. 17 00:00:37,465 --> 00:00:40,933 A wheel wants to spin, Pam. 18 00:00:40,935 --> 00:00:42,935 Spinning would be more fun. 19 00:00:45,538 --> 00:00:47,906 Okay. 20 00:00:47,908 --> 00:00:50,442 Okay, that's what I'm talkin' about. 21 00:00:50,444 --> 00:00:51,610 - Woo! - Wow! 22 00:00:51,612 --> 00:00:55,214 - Spinning! - Big money, big money. 23 00:00:55,216 --> 00:00:57,049 Yeah! 24 00:00:57,051 --> 00:00:58,350 Mug duty? 25 00:00:58,352 --> 00:01:01,420 Yes, you clean all the mugs in the sink. 26 00:01:01,422 --> 00:01:02,955 This sucks. 27 00:01:02,957 --> 00:01:04,423 Yeah, seriously, it's like everything 28 00:01:04,425 --> 00:01:05,824 on there's work. 29 00:01:05,826 --> 00:01:08,260 I don't think you guys understand why we're doing this. 30 00:01:08,262 --> 00:01:10,329 - It's... - Yeah, and I don't think 31 00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:12,097 that you understand wheels. 32 00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:15,801 I've been through several rounds of development 33 00:01:15,803 --> 00:01:17,836 with the team, and here's where we stand 34 00:01:17,838 --> 00:01:20,973 with the chore wheel. 35 00:01:20,975 --> 00:01:22,641 We've got prizes! 36 00:01:22,643 --> 00:01:25,944 Ten bucks, candy bar, manager for an hour. 37 00:01:25,946 --> 00:01:29,581 But there are also penalties, like no internet, 38 00:01:29,583 --> 00:01:30,916 Stanley gets your lunch. 39 00:01:30,918 --> 00:01:32,951 The one thing that is not on the chore wheel 40 00:01:32,953 --> 00:01:35,087 is chores, but they were right. 41 00:01:35,089 --> 00:01:36,755 It's more fun this way. 42 00:01:39,927 --> 00:01:41,727 Whoo! 43 00:01:41,729 --> 00:01:44,296 - Tiny wheel! - Tiny wheel! 44 00:01:44,298 --> 00:01:46,565 - Tiny wheel! Tiny wheel! - There it is! 45 00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:49,735 The tiny wheel actually does have chores. 46 00:01:49,737 --> 00:01:51,503 It's so cute, no one seems to mind. 47 00:01:51,505 --> 00:01:52,604 - Toilets! - Aww. 48 00:01:55,976 --> 00:01:57,709 - Tiny wheel. - Lucky! 49 00:01:57,711 --> 00:01:59,177 - Good choice. - Woo! 50 00:02:18,144 --> 00:02:20,043 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 51 00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:22,367 Pam, we gotta go! 52 00:02:22,369 --> 00:02:26,905 Cece, go back inside. Grandma's got breakfast, okay? 53 00:02:26,907 --> 00:02:30,208 We are going to Roy's wedding. 54 00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:31,543 Yep, Roy. 55 00:02:31,545 --> 00:02:33,445 I think the only weird thing about going 56 00:02:33,447 --> 00:02:34,846 to your wife's ex-fiancee's wedding 57 00:02:34,848 --> 00:02:37,015 on a weekday at 8 AM 58 00:02:37,017 --> 00:02:38,317 is that it's your wife's ex-fiancee. 59 00:02:38,319 --> 00:02:41,286 Thanks, mom! 60 00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:43,188 - Banana? - Yeah. 61 00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:44,523 I'm afraid he's only gonna have hot dogs. 62 00:02:44,525 --> 00:02:45,791 Come on, not even Roy 63 00:02:45,793 --> 00:02:47,359 will have hot dogs at his wedding. 64 00:02:47,361 --> 00:02:49,528 I planned a wedding with him. He wanted hot dogs. 65 00:02:51,731 --> 00:02:55,300 Just... it's so weird. 66 00:02:55,302 --> 00:02:57,336 Pete, you've got mail. 67 00:02:57,338 --> 00:02:58,670 Really? I got somethin'? 68 00:02:58,672 --> 00:03:00,238 Well, it's addressed to customer service, 69 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,506 so it's your mail. 70 00:03:01,508 --> 00:03:03,175 Well, you know, I'm also customer service. 71 00:03:03,177 --> 00:03:04,409 Yeah, I'm alternating. 72 00:03:04,411 --> 00:03:05,677 Yay. 73 00:03:05,679 --> 00:03:07,179 Another person yellin' at me. 74 00:03:07,181 --> 00:03:09,047 Well, it could be a nice letter. 75 00:03:09,049 --> 00:03:10,916 I write nice letters to companies all the time. 76 00:03:10,918 --> 00:03:12,818 That's really nice. 77 00:03:12,820 --> 00:03:15,520 Wow, Newsweek, huh? 78 00:03:15,522 --> 00:03:18,957 This election thing is crazy, right? 79 00:03:18,959 --> 00:03:20,626 It's open. 80 00:03:20,628 --> 00:03:22,260 Yeah. I accidentally read it. 81 00:03:22,262 --> 00:03:25,130 It's not a nice letter. 82 00:03:25,132 --> 00:03:29,735 Okay. 83 00:03:29,737 --> 00:03:31,336 Get excited. 84 00:03:31,338 --> 00:03:34,272 The special projects fairy has arrived. 85 00:03:34,274 --> 00:03:36,708 I know you don't really exist. 86 00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:39,411 Today, I launch my big charity initiative, 87 00:03:39,413 --> 00:03:41,279 "Operation Give Back." 88 00:03:41,281 --> 00:03:44,383 Andy has shot down all of my special projects thus far, 89 00:03:44,385 --> 00:03:47,085 but this one is about charity 90 00:03:47,087 --> 00:03:50,022 so I'd like to see him piss on that one. 91 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:54,693 Darryl! 92 00:03:54,695 --> 00:03:56,261 Ho-o-o! What's happenin'? 93 00:03:56,263 --> 00:03:57,529 Congratulations, baby. Yeah. 94 00:03:57,531 --> 00:03:59,531 Thank you. 95 00:04:02,235 --> 00:04:04,536 - Is this his house? - Think so. 96 00:04:04,538 --> 00:04:06,438 Mimosa? 97 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,407 - I'm okay. - Thank you. 98 00:04:08,409 --> 00:04:12,210 Would you like me to take your peel? 99 00:04:12,212 --> 00:04:14,212 Yes, thank you. 100 00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,120 Okay. 101 00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:26,391 Who's that? 102 00:04:26,393 --> 00:04:29,494 - My ex-fiancee. - Ha-ha. 103 00:04:29,496 --> 00:04:32,564 I started a new business with my college friend, 104 00:04:32,566 --> 00:04:34,132 but Pam doesn't know. 105 00:04:34,134 --> 00:04:37,069 Um, actually I... I did tell Pam, 106 00:04:37,071 --> 00:04:40,038 and we decided no, 107 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,140 but then I decided "yes, anyway," 108 00:04:42,142 --> 00:04:45,544 so I'm thinking there's another conversation coming, 109 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,512 and it's hard to know when that will be. 110 00:04:47,514 --> 00:04:51,450 With "Operation Give Back," you pick the charities 111 00:04:51,452 --> 00:04:52,584 Dunder Mifflin supports. 112 00:04:52,586 --> 00:04:55,587 Aw, boy. What's happening? 113 00:04:55,589 --> 00:04:57,656 There's $4,000 to give away, 114 00:04:57,658 --> 00:04:59,658 so who has filled out their forms? 115 00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:02,728 - Stanley? - American Diabetes Association. 116 00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:05,530 Um, you have diabetes, Stanley. 117 00:05:05,532 --> 00:05:08,533 I'm sorry, is the assignment to pick a selfish charity? 118 00:05:08,535 --> 00:05:11,169 I, uh, I would love to give... 119 00:05:11,171 --> 00:05:12,671 Heifers International. 120 00:05:12,673 --> 00:05:15,407 Listen to this. They give a poor person 121 00:05:15,409 --> 00:05:17,175 like a goat or something. 122 00:05:17,177 --> 00:05:18,744 It's a great prank. 123 00:05:18,746 --> 00:05:20,545 I wanna work with, uh, Jimmy Carter 124 00:05:20,547 --> 00:05:21,680 and Help Build Gnomes. 125 00:05:21,682 --> 00:05:23,115 Dwight, what about you? 126 00:05:23,117 --> 00:05:24,616 I will not be participating, 127 00:05:24,618 --> 00:05:27,018 as there is no evidence that charity works. 128 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:29,087 Correction... I give to a foundation 129 00:05:29,089 --> 00:05:30,489 that teaches homeless children 130 00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:33,425 nautical flag signaling... Changes Lives. 131 00:05:33,427 --> 00:05:36,394 - Thank you, Andy. - I'm not doing it for you. 132 00:05:36,396 --> 00:05:37,462 I'm doing it for the preservation 133 00:05:37,464 --> 00:05:39,064 of nautical flag signaling. 134 00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:41,233 Dwight, you will be participating. 135 00:05:41,235 --> 00:05:43,535 - No, thank you. - Participation is mandatory, 136 00:05:43,537 --> 00:05:47,305 Dwight, but you can choose whatever cause you like. 137 00:05:47,307 --> 00:05:51,042 Fine, I choose the Global Relief Foundation... 138 00:05:51,044 --> 00:05:53,044 - Great, thank you... - ...which was recently discovered 139 00:05:53,046 --> 00:05:55,313 to be a front for the Taliban! 140 00:05:55,315 --> 00:05:57,249 - For goodness' sake. - Yeah. 141 00:05:57,251 --> 00:06:00,652 The Taliban in Af-a-ghanistan. 142 00:06:00,654 --> 00:06:04,589 The Taliban is the worst. 143 00:06:04,591 --> 00:06:05,824 Great heroin, though. 144 00:06:05,826 --> 00:06:08,894 Dwight, I cannot have the Taliban on the roster 145 00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:10,228 of "Operation Give Back." 146 00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,529 Well, then, it looks like there won't be 147 00:06:11,531 --> 00:06:13,832 any "Operation Give Back." 148 00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:15,700 The nanny state is over, ladies and gentlemen. 149 00:06:15,702 --> 00:06:19,104 You're welcome. 150 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,208 There he is. 151 00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:25,010 Is it almost time to cut the pancake, or what? 152 00:06:25,012 --> 00:06:27,312 Aw, yeah. We appreciate everyone 153 00:06:27,314 --> 00:06:29,047 coming so early. 154 00:06:29,049 --> 00:06:30,549 Everyone's just been so nice. 155 00:06:30,551 --> 00:06:31,883 Thanks for inviting us, by the way. 156 00:06:31,885 --> 00:06:33,685 - That was... that was a surprise. - Are you kidding me? 157 00:06:33,687 --> 00:06:35,020 Come on, if it wasn't for you, 158 00:06:35,022 --> 00:06:36,688 I never would've met Laura. 159 00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:38,924 But seriously, could've dodged a bullet on that one. 160 00:06:38,926 --> 00:06:40,058 - Just kidding. - You're welcome. 161 00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:41,726 Thanks. 162 00:06:42,996 --> 00:06:45,697 By the way, man, this place is beautiful. 163 00:06:45,699 --> 00:06:47,766 I started a gravel company. I mean, who knew 164 00:06:47,768 --> 00:06:48,834 it would take off? 165 00:06:48,836 --> 00:06:50,602 - Gravel company. - Yeah. 166 00:06:50,604 --> 00:06:51,836 - What about you? - What are you doing? 167 00:06:51,838 --> 00:06:54,639 Not gravel, obviously. 168 00:06:54,641 --> 00:06:55,874 Nah, things are good. Things are good. 169 00:06:55,876 --> 00:06:57,275 Got some stuff in the works, so... 170 00:06:57,277 --> 00:06:59,044 - Cool. - Yeah, you never know. 171 00:06:59,046 --> 00:07:02,480 Hey, bro, stop wasting time with this haircut. 172 00:07:02,482 --> 00:07:04,983 He's got a $50,000 sports car. 173 00:07:04,985 --> 00:07:06,585 - Cheers. - Okay, Kenny. 174 00:07:06,587 --> 00:07:08,854 Duncan, listen, I would love to help you out, 175 00:07:08,856 --> 00:07:10,088 but where am I gonna find somebody 176 00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:12,624 that's pretty, smart and well-informed, huh? 177 00:07:12,626 --> 00:07:14,192 Hold on... hold on! 178 00:07:14,194 --> 00:07:20,165 Erin, do you know anybody that might... 179 00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:22,567 My gosh. 180 00:07:22,569 --> 00:07:24,269 You love the news, right? 181 00:07:24,271 --> 00:07:25,670 Well, it depends. 182 00:07:25,672 --> 00:07:28,807 I mean, sometimes I find out things that are really sad. 183 00:07:28,809 --> 00:07:29,975 Well, I got a buddy 184 00:07:29,977 --> 00:07:31,843 that's a big time local news producer, 185 00:07:31,845 --> 00:07:34,746 and I can't tell you his name, but it'd blow your mind. 186 00:07:34,748 --> 00:07:36,448 Is it Duncan? 187 00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:37,749 He's looking for on-air talent, 188 00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:39,885 and he'd kill me if I didn't get you on tape. 189 00:07:39,887 --> 00:07:41,419 You mean put me on the news? 190 00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:43,855 You'll just come over, put on a little lipstick, 191 00:07:43,857 --> 00:07:45,523 loosen up with a glass of red wine, 192 00:07:45,525 --> 00:07:47,859 and then we'll just run through a few stories. 193 00:07:47,861 --> 00:07:49,227 You know, a couple different ways 194 00:07:49,229 --> 00:07:51,429 with a couple different outfits. It'd be really tasteful, 195 00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:53,732 and it'd really help me out with Duncan... 196 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,134 with my friend. 197 00:07:56,136 --> 00:07:57,669 What'd you say? 198 00:07:57,671 --> 00:07:59,905 No, maybe, okay? Let me think about it. 199 00:07:59,907 --> 00:08:01,339 Okay. 200 00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:03,375 - Woo. - Think it over. 201 00:08:06,345 --> 00:08:07,712 No, Clark's not my friend. 202 00:08:07,714 --> 00:08:10,382 He is the douche that sits next to me at the office. 203 00:08:10,384 --> 00:08:12,651 My friends are Scott, Glenn and Rob, 204 00:08:12,653 --> 00:08:14,452 but you don't know them. 205 00:08:14,454 --> 00:08:16,588 I never really thought much about being more 206 00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:18,857 than a receptionist, but why? 207 00:08:18,859 --> 00:08:21,092 Because I happened to answer a "help wanted" ad 208 00:08:21,094 --> 00:08:22,227 to be a receptionist? 209 00:08:22,229 --> 00:08:25,764 I mean, what if the ad had been for a CEO 210 00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,399 or for a brain surgeon? 211 00:08:27,401 --> 00:08:29,901 So, uh, it was a year ago today 212 00:08:29,903 --> 00:08:32,003 that I met Laura. 213 00:08:32,005 --> 00:08:33,772 I thought she was my waitress, 214 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,774 and, uh, took her three weeks 215 00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,809 to tell me that she actually owned the place. 216 00:08:37,811 --> 00:08:39,277 You are full of surprises. 217 00:08:39,279 --> 00:08:42,414 You are my beautiful mystery girl, 218 00:08:42,416 --> 00:08:45,617 and today, I have a surprise for you. 219 00:08:47,587 --> 00:08:49,454 He plays piano? 220 00:08:49,456 --> 00:08:50,689 No. 221 00:08:50,691 --> 00:08:52,357 Roy? No. 222 00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:54,726 You know how I said I was taking boxing lessons? 223 00:08:54,728 --> 00:08:56,628 Actually, I was doing this, 224 00:08:56,630 --> 00:08:59,431 um, so, I hope that you like it. 225 00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:03,802 You got this, Roy. 226 00:09:07,407 --> 00:09:13,011 ♪ She's got a wa-a-ay about her ♪ 227 00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:15,680 ♪ don't know what it is ♪ 228 00:09:15,682 --> 00:09:20,285 ♪ but I know that I can't live without her ♪ 229 00:09:20,287 --> 00:09:21,553 ♪ she's got a way... ♪ 230 00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:25,991 We still surprise each other. 231 00:09:25,993 --> 00:09:29,127 Definitely. 232 00:09:29,129 --> 00:09:31,796 You know, I never did it, but for your 30th birthday, 233 00:09:31,798 --> 00:09:33,631 I really wanted to surprise you. 234 00:09:33,633 --> 00:09:35,600 Courtside seats. Sixers. 235 00:09:35,602 --> 00:09:38,303 Yes, but what I didn't tell you 236 00:09:38,305 --> 00:09:39,938 is that I actually bought the tickets. 237 00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:41,339 We only didn't go because it was... 238 00:09:41,341 --> 00:09:42,273 It was an away game. 239 00:09:42,275 --> 00:09:43,808 In Phoenix. 240 00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:45,410 They should really tell you that more specifically. 241 00:09:45,412 --> 00:09:47,112 I mean, every game is an away game 242 00:09:47,114 --> 00:09:49,347 for one of the teams. 243 00:09:51,951 --> 00:09:53,785 Do we know everything about each other? 244 00:09:53,787 --> 00:09:56,588 No. 245 00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:58,156 Tell me one thing about you I don't know. 246 00:10:00,093 --> 00:10:03,828 Um, okay. 247 00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:09,166 There's one. 248 00:10:09,167 --> 00:10:10,533 Did I ever tell you about the time 249 00:10:10,535 --> 00:10:12,935 that my brothers videotaped the lottery announcement 250 00:10:12,937 --> 00:10:15,004 and bought the winning numbers the next day, 251 00:10:15,006 --> 00:10:17,139 and then, played the tape for me the next week... 252 00:10:17,141 --> 00:10:18,474 And you thought you guys were millionaires. 253 00:10:18,476 --> 00:10:19,842 You heard that one. 254 00:10:19,844 --> 00:10:21,844 Yes, but there's... Wait. 255 00:10:21,846 --> 00:10:23,713 There's a funny ending to that story. 256 00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:25,381 I can't remember. 257 00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:26,516 That I thought we were millionaires. 258 00:10:26,518 --> 00:10:27,750 That you thought you were millionaires. 259 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:28,751 - Yep. - That's funny. 260 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,319 - Shoot, I knew that one! - That's all right. 261 00:10:30,321 --> 00:10:33,356 The senator and I still have mystery. 262 00:10:33,358 --> 00:10:34,557 I'm always waiting to see 263 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:36,125 what he's gonna surprise me with next. 264 00:10:44,802 --> 00:10:46,802 You all right? 265 00:10:49,206 --> 00:10:50,706 You support the Taliban abroad, 266 00:10:50,708 --> 00:10:55,144 so I assume you're willing to live by their rules here. 267 00:10:55,146 --> 00:10:57,046 Anything else would be inconsistent. 268 00:10:57,048 --> 00:10:58,748 Will you join me then in a pledge 269 00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:02,485 to live by Taliban law in this office? 270 00:11:05,722 --> 00:11:09,058 Absolutely, I will. 271 00:11:13,797 --> 00:11:15,932 I feared Nelly had some sort of a plan, 272 00:11:15,934 --> 00:11:18,034 but she used a ridiculous font. 273 00:11:19,337 --> 00:11:21,170 You don't have a plan! 274 00:11:21,172 --> 00:11:23,406 When you use a ridiculous font, 275 00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:25,408 no one thinks you have a plan. 276 00:11:27,411 --> 00:11:29,512 Looking for this? 277 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:32,515 What the... 278 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,550 This is a lovely pen, 279 00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:37,954 and it's mine now, because I stole it. 280 00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:40,523 - Gimme that. - Didn't you sign a contract 281 00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:41,791 to live under Taliban law? 282 00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:43,726 And now, there's been a theft. 283 00:11:43,728 --> 00:11:45,828 That means you're not serious, 284 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:49,498 or someone's getting their hand cut off. 285 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,434 - You're insane. - I know, 286 00:11:51,436 --> 00:11:53,135 so it's better that you pick another charity. 287 00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:55,905 And let your precious "Operation Power Grab" 288 00:11:55,907 --> 00:11:57,206 proceed unchecked? 289 00:11:57,208 --> 00:11:58,274 No, thank you. 290 00:11:58,276 --> 00:12:02,745 In that case, you... 291 00:12:02,747 --> 00:12:06,582 will have to chop off my hand. 292 00:12:09,453 --> 00:12:12,555 This cleaver appears to need sharpening. 293 00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:14,724 I suggest you spend some quality time together, 294 00:12:14,726 --> 00:12:17,360 just you and your hand, tie a shoe, toss a salad. 295 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:19,195 Do any of the two-hand activities 296 00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,429 that you'll miss the most. 297 00:12:20,431 --> 00:12:23,699 I tell you what. I need to make three calls. 298 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,169 And then after that, you can become a person 299 00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:29,605 who chops off people's hands. 300 00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:32,241 Sounds like a plan. 301 00:12:32,243 --> 00:12:34,710 Clark wants to film you in different outfits 302 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,079 - inside his apartment? - Yeah. 303 00:12:37,081 --> 00:12:41,984 Clark, you and I need to have a little chat. 304 00:12:41,986 --> 00:12:47,723 What clothes does Erin need for this news audition? 305 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,960 A couple of button-downs, 306 00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:54,196 a camisole, a blazer, a pencil skirt, 307 00:12:54,198 --> 00:12:56,666 stilettos, maybe a... no, no, not maybe, 308 00:12:56,668 --> 00:12:58,567 definitely open-toed. 309 00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:01,103 Something low-cut, because the camera 310 00:13:01,105 --> 00:13:02,304 makes everything seem higher-cut. 311 00:13:02,306 --> 00:13:04,340 - Really? - Yeah, industry secret. 312 00:13:04,342 --> 00:13:06,375 You're gonna want some of those pantyhose 313 00:13:06,377 --> 00:13:07,376 with the seam up the back. 314 00:13:07,378 --> 00:13:09,045 Seems unnecessary for an audition. 315 00:13:09,047 --> 00:13:10,613 And then, you know, maybe just a robe 316 00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,882 to wear in between takes, but I probably got one 317 00:13:12,884 --> 00:13:14,316 that she could borrow at my place, so... 318 00:13:14,318 --> 00:13:15,685 Thank God someone here knows 319 00:13:15,687 --> 00:13:17,286 what they're talkin' about. 320 00:13:17,288 --> 00:13:18,621 I want you to take this credit card. 321 00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:21,924 Take Erin to the mall, and get that stuff. 322 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,459 I absolutely will do that. 323 00:13:23,461 --> 00:13:25,294 Awesome. 324 00:13:25,296 --> 00:13:27,463 Plop. 325 00:13:29,033 --> 00:13:32,968 Guess I'll just head over to the mall then, 326 00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:36,472 buy Erin some sexy, fun outfits. 327 00:13:36,474 --> 00:13:38,140 That Clark, huh? 328 00:13:40,511 --> 00:13:42,311 Next question for our oldyweds. 329 00:13:42,313 --> 00:13:44,680 What is the craziest place you ever made whoopee? 330 00:13:44,682 --> 00:13:45,848 Language. 331 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:47,316 Who was Pam's first celebrity crush? 332 00:13:47,318 --> 00:13:51,520 - This is good, okay. - Pam's first celebrity crush. 333 00:13:51,522 --> 00:13:52,855 John Stamos. 334 00:13:52,857 --> 00:13:54,223 - Ready? - -huh. 335 00:13:54,225 --> 00:13:56,525 - John Stamos. - Yes! 336 00:13:56,527 --> 00:13:58,761 John Stamos was temporary. I quickly moved on to Johnny... 337 00:13:58,763 --> 00:14:01,063 Johnny Depp. 338 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:08,104 Um, I was having a separate conversation 339 00:14:08,106 --> 00:14:11,073 with Kevin? 340 00:14:11,075 --> 00:14:13,042 Johnny Depp. 341 00:14:13,044 --> 00:14:15,077 Totally. George Clooney. 342 00:14:15,079 --> 00:14:16,612 Mm-hmm. 343 00:14:16,614 --> 00:14:17,847 Okay, I'll have one. I have one. 344 00:14:19,183 --> 00:14:21,917 Where is the craziest place you ever made whoopee? 345 00:14:21,919 --> 00:14:24,053 Kevin, stop it with that question. 346 00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:26,322 Right? 347 00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:28,691 And did you show them the market... yeah. 348 00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:31,827 And what'd they say? 349 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,729 That's awesome. 350 00:14:33,731 --> 00:14:35,965 That... aw, my God. Wow. 351 00:14:35,967 --> 00:14:37,800 It's not even real yet, 352 00:14:37,802 --> 00:14:41,771 and I'm not gonna tell her until it's real. 353 00:14:41,773 --> 00:14:43,806 I think maybe they're actually is something 354 00:14:43,808 --> 00:14:46,142 I don't know about Jim. 355 00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:53,417 Everyone, we have a voluntary meeting 356 00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:56,654 in the conference room to discuss Erin's confidence. 357 00:14:56,656 --> 00:14:58,422 Her body. We're gonna talk about her body. 358 00:14:58,424 --> 00:14:59,524 Good. Great job. 359 00:14:59,526 --> 00:15:01,192 Andy made me his consigliere, 360 00:15:01,194 --> 00:15:03,094 which means assistant regional manager. 361 00:15:03,096 --> 00:15:04,695 I guess he thought I'd be into The Godfather 362 00:15:04,697 --> 00:15:07,865 because I'm black. 363 00:15:07,867 --> 00:15:09,634 Wrong! 364 00:15:09,636 --> 00:15:12,904 I'm into The Godfather 'cause I'm a cinephile. 365 00:15:12,906 --> 00:15:14,539 I like Scarface 'cause I'm black. 366 00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:18,276 Erin has an audition to be a newscaster. 367 00:15:18,278 --> 00:15:19,777 - Wow! - Woo! 368 00:15:19,779 --> 00:15:22,413 - -huh. - Congratulations! 369 00:15:22,415 --> 00:15:25,383 And I want her to feel very comfortable 370 00:15:25,385 --> 00:15:27,084 in her very sexy skin, 371 00:15:27,086 --> 00:15:29,320 so everybody say something that you like 372 00:15:29,322 --> 00:15:30,621 about her body, all right? 373 00:15:30,623 --> 00:15:32,590 - Darryl. - Okay. 374 00:15:32,592 --> 00:15:36,327 Um, I like Erin's hair. Those are very pretty colors. 375 00:15:36,329 --> 00:15:38,162 - Yeah, right? - I'm sorry. 376 00:15:38,164 --> 00:15:40,464 - This is for a news audition? - Yeah. 377 00:15:40,466 --> 00:15:42,967 Then why are we talking about her looks? 378 00:15:42,969 --> 00:15:45,636 Why not her credibility or her reliability? 379 00:15:45,638 --> 00:15:48,372 News flash, everyone... the human race 380 00:15:48,374 --> 00:15:50,374 finds attractive people more trustworthy. 381 00:15:50,376 --> 00:15:51,842 So sorry, Andy, but for 20 years, 382 00:15:51,844 --> 00:15:54,579 the most trusted man in America... Walter Cronkite. 383 00:15:54,581 --> 00:15:56,080 Cronkite was hot. 384 00:15:56,082 --> 00:15:58,349 If I could go back in time, I'd take that moustache ride. 385 00:15:58,351 --> 00:16:00,051 Does Erin have any experience? 386 00:16:00,053 --> 00:16:02,453 Has she taken any journalism classes, maybe? 387 00:16:02,455 --> 00:16:04,288 Has she done the pageant circuit? 388 00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:06,791 - No, I watch the news... - She's gonna be amazing. 389 00:16:06,793 --> 00:16:08,492 Look at her. She's gonna light up the screen. 390 00:16:08,494 --> 00:16:09,860 This is a first for me, 391 00:16:09,862 --> 00:16:11,462 and I don't get a lot of chances, 392 00:16:11,464 --> 00:16:14,198 so I have to take them really seriously. 393 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:17,001 I will do whatever it takes to get the job. 394 00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:19,637 - Whatever it takes. - Yeah, I know, I heard. 395 00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,877 This is it. 396 00:16:26,879 --> 00:16:28,846 - Any questions? - Is it gonna be numb? 397 00:16:28,848 --> 00:16:31,549 No, it's gonna be over before you know it. 398 00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:35,286 Mm-hmm. 399 00:16:35,288 --> 00:16:38,889 Afghan president Hamid Karzai declared a new policy 400 00:16:38,891 --> 00:16:40,625 of dollar days throughout the country, 401 00:16:40,627 --> 00:16:42,860 promising low, low prices 402 00:16:42,862 --> 00:16:46,731 on all 2012 Kia Sentras and Sonatas. 403 00:16:46,733 --> 00:16:49,033 "Aren't you glad you waited?" Karzai commented. 404 00:16:49,035 --> 00:16:52,470 Um, where did you get that story? 405 00:16:52,472 --> 00:16:54,505 A little bit here, a little bit there. 406 00:16:54,507 --> 00:16:56,874 I bet you didn't think I knew current events. 407 00:16:56,876 --> 00:16:58,309 I love it. 408 00:16:58,311 --> 00:17:02,046 It's fantastic. Now, tag it with your name. 409 00:17:02,048 --> 00:17:03,814 For Channel 11 News, I'm Erin Hannon. 410 00:17:03,816 --> 00:17:06,684 Pause after news. 411 00:17:06,686 --> 00:17:08,519 For Channel 11 News, 412 00:17:08,521 --> 00:17:10,688 - I'm Erin Hannon. - No, pause longer. 413 00:17:10,690 --> 00:17:13,591 - That was a good one. - Pause... pause... pause longer. 414 00:17:13,593 --> 00:17:15,693 Okay, build suspense. Don't be shy. 415 00:17:15,695 --> 00:17:18,462 Got it. 416 00:17:18,464 --> 00:17:22,466 For Channel 11 News... 417 00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:30,441 What, it's... 418 00:17:30,443 --> 00:17:31,442 I'm Erin Hannon. 419 00:17:31,444 --> 00:17:32,576 Okay, all right. 420 00:17:32,578 --> 00:17:34,345 Great. 421 00:17:34,347 --> 00:17:36,013 Some great stuff in there. 422 00:17:36,015 --> 00:17:38,749 I can feel you looking at me. 423 00:17:38,751 --> 00:17:43,587 Okay, well here's something you don't know. 424 00:17:43,589 --> 00:17:45,723 - A couple of weeks ago... - Mm-hmm. 425 00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:47,892 I ran into this guy from my high school 426 00:17:47,894 --> 00:17:50,361 who has just gotten divorced, 427 00:17:50,363 --> 00:17:52,263 and he hit on me in the mall. 428 00:17:52,265 --> 00:17:55,166 And I didn't tell you because... I don't know, 429 00:17:55,168 --> 00:17:57,201 I felt embarrassed, and I didn't know 430 00:17:57,203 --> 00:17:59,036 if you'd be mad or worried, 431 00:17:59,038 --> 00:18:03,140 but anyway, I thought you'd wanna know. 432 00:18:03,142 --> 00:18:05,209 That didn't happen. 433 00:18:05,211 --> 00:18:06,610 You would've told me right away. 434 00:18:06,612 --> 00:18:08,479 Yeah, I would've. 435 00:18:08,481 --> 00:18:09,880 What about you? 436 00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,416 Come on, there's gotta be something. 437 00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:14,885 Between your birth and the last two days, 438 00:18:14,887 --> 00:18:16,887 something you just haven't had the chance to tell me. 439 00:18:21,027 --> 00:18:25,129 Just tell me. 440 00:18:25,131 --> 00:18:27,598 God, give it up, Beesly. You know me too well. 441 00:18:46,219 --> 00:18:47,351 Hey. 442 00:18:47,353 --> 00:18:50,187 Um, I knew something bothered me, 443 00:18:50,189 --> 00:18:51,722 and I finally figured it out. 444 00:18:51,724 --> 00:18:53,023 What news producers are gonna wanna see 445 00:18:53,025 --> 00:18:54,625 is how Erin relates to the other people 446 00:18:54,627 --> 00:18:56,227 on the news team. 447 00:18:56,229 --> 00:18:59,396 The weird thing is Erin is doing the audition alone. 448 00:18:59,398 --> 00:19:00,664 God. 449 00:19:00,666 --> 00:19:03,534 Now, I'd say Clark could be your co-host. 450 00:19:03,536 --> 00:19:05,202 He's already doing camera. 451 00:19:05,204 --> 00:19:08,539 Somebody who's already got rapport with Erin, maybe. 452 00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:09,707 I don't know. 453 00:19:11,844 --> 00:19:14,078 Hey, this is for real this time. 454 00:19:15,515 --> 00:19:16,881 It's gettin' late. 455 00:19:16,883 --> 00:19:21,418 Thought you guys could use a little inspiration. 456 00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:23,554 A movie. 457 00:19:23,556 --> 00:19:25,623 - What is this? - 127 Hours. 458 00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,057 - It's about this guy who... - No, no, no, no, 459 00:19:27,059 --> 00:19:28,793 - no spoilers. Please. - My bad, my bad... 460 00:19:28,795 --> 00:19:31,195 - No... - You're right, okay. 461 00:19:31,197 --> 00:19:32,663 Good night. 462 00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:37,902 - Hey! - Hey. 463 00:19:37,904 --> 00:19:40,938 - Everybody. - Yeah. 464 00:19:40,940 --> 00:19:42,039 - Come in. - All right. 465 00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:43,174 - Come on in. - Wow! 466 00:19:43,176 --> 00:19:45,709 Thanks. What are you doing here? 467 00:19:45,711 --> 00:19:47,378 Sorry, man. 468 00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,713 Andy thought Erin need a co-anchor. 469 00:19:49,715 --> 00:19:52,349 I'm his makeup guy. My hands are tied. 470 00:19:52,351 --> 00:19:54,385 The victim was released 471 00:19:54,387 --> 00:19:57,188 from the hospital with second-degree burns. 472 00:19:57,190 --> 00:19:59,423 Wow. You know what they say, Erin? 473 00:19:59,425 --> 00:20:00,858 If you can't take the heat, 474 00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:03,994 get out of the kitchen. 475 00:20:03,996 --> 00:20:05,863 Well, he tried to, but the fire door was blocked. 476 00:20:05,865 --> 00:20:07,965 - He sure did. - All right. 477 00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,400 We got that. That's a rap everybody. 478 00:20:09,402 --> 00:20:10,768 It's just... you sure, Clark? 479 00:20:10,770 --> 00:20:12,169 Yep, she's done. 480 00:20:12,171 --> 00:20:13,938 No, I just... I don't mean Erin. 481 00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:17,508 I mean for me. I didn't feel good about that. 482 00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,009 No, we got it. We got it. 483 00:20:19,011 --> 00:20:21,579 Great! Let's get some food. I'm starving. 484 00:20:21,581 --> 00:20:23,180 I don't think we did get it. 485 00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:26,750 I could do a couple more takes. We could do it in close-up. 486 00:20:26,752 --> 00:20:29,787 That might even be better for editing. 487 00:20:29,789 --> 00:20:31,422 Okay, I don't. 488 00:20:31,424 --> 00:20:33,123 All right. 489 00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:34,825 I'm hungry. 490 00:20:34,827 --> 00:20:38,395 Pete, you wanna take Erin to get a burger or something? 491 00:20:38,397 --> 00:20:40,497 - Yeah, whatever you say, boss. - Okay. 492 00:20:40,499 --> 00:20:41,599 - I'll call you later. - Okay. 493 00:20:41,601 --> 00:20:42,700 - Okay. - Great job. 494 00:20:42,702 --> 00:20:45,302 So this is a single. 495 00:20:45,304 --> 00:20:46,937 Hey, even this doesn't work out for me, 496 00:20:46,939 --> 00:20:49,139 I'm just glad I had the guts to do it, 497 00:20:49,141 --> 00:20:52,142 and maybe it'll work out for Andy. 498 00:21:00,087 --> 00:21:01,654 That is absolutely revolting! 499 00:21:01,656 --> 00:21:04,357 - Yeah. - He is so good, though... 500 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:05,425 Yes. 501 00:21:05,427 --> 00:21:07,293 The way he just cuts off his arm. 502 00:21:07,295 --> 00:21:08,995 If you like James Franco, we really should watch 503 00:21:08,997 --> 00:21:10,496 Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. 504 00:21:10,498 --> 00:21:12,532 Well, he's a genius, you know? 505 00:21:12,534 --> 00:21:15,568 He was in graduate programs at Yale, Columbia and NYU 506 00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:17,103 - all at the same time. - Whoop-de-doo. 507 00:21:17,105 --> 00:21:18,471 That doesn't make you a genius. 508 00:21:18,473 --> 00:21:19,939 Well, it doesn't make you stupid. 509 00:21:19,941 --> 00:21:21,574 Yeah, it does. Actually, it makes you 510 00:21:21,576 --> 00:21:23,409 - real stupid. - Stupid like you. 511 00:21:23,411 --> 00:21:24,811 - No, like you. - Like you. 512 00:21:24,813 --> 00:21:27,280 - You're the stupid one. - You're the stupid one. 513 00:21:27,282 --> 00:21:30,140 - You, you, you, you, you... - You're the stupid one.