1 00:00:01,649 --> 00:00:04,009 All right, everybody. Great season of softball, 2 00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,473 I'm super proud of you, guys. 3 00:00:05,597 --> 00:00:07,157 And I think you're gonna like this 4 00:00:07,297 --> 00:00:09,244 little highlight reel that I've put together. 5 00:00:09,924 --> 00:00:11,615 Dunder Mifflin! 6 00:00:11,865 --> 00:00:13,170 Andy Bernard presents... 7 00:00:13,294 --> 00:00:15,614 Summer Softball, epic fails! 8 00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,635 Fail. 9 00:00:18,637 --> 00:00:20,069 Fail. 10 00:00:20,071 --> 00:00:21,704 - That's me. - Fail. 11 00:00:21,706 --> 00:00:23,406 Is this like a blooper reel? 12 00:00:23,408 --> 00:00:26,009 A blooper reel? What is this, 2005? 13 00:00:26,011 --> 00:00:27,911 Do I look like Bob Saget? 14 00:00:27,913 --> 00:00:30,179 Fail! 15 00:00:30,181 --> 00:00:32,382 Who's this guy? 16 00:00:32,384 --> 00:00:34,384 ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ 17 00:00:34,385 --> 00:00:35,985 Look at him dance. Fail! 18 00:00:35,987 --> 00:00:37,020 Fail. 19 00:00:37,022 --> 00:00:38,655 I deserve that. 20 00:00:38,657 --> 00:00:41,190 ♪ Doont-de-doont-de-doont, doont-de-doont-de-doont ♪ 21 00:00:41,192 --> 00:00:42,559 That was a triple. 22 00:00:42,561 --> 00:00:45,328 Can't take the fail? Get out of the fail video! 23 00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:46,329 My pleasure. 24 00:00:46,331 --> 00:00:48,064 Hi, I'm Pete. 25 00:00:48,066 --> 00:00:50,366 Puberty is such a drag, man. 26 00:00:50,368 --> 00:00:53,703 And I'm Clark. I like to eat toilet paper. 27 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,338 We fail. 28 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:59,409 I'd like to take a solemn moment to remember Jerry, 29 00:00:59,411 --> 00:01:01,678 in the warehouse, who passed away this year. 30 00:01:06,684 --> 00:01:08,618 Well, that's all, folks. 31 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,553 Ski you later, everybody. 32 00:01:10,555 --> 00:01:12,255 Thanks for a great season. 33 00:01:12,257 --> 00:01:14,090 What was that? 34 00:01:14,092 --> 00:01:16,893 That was just normal video with you making vulgar noises. 35 00:01:16,895 --> 00:01:18,761 Well, I worked with what I had, Oscar. 36 00:01:18,763 --> 00:01:22,865 Next time, do more fail-ier stuff, okay? 37 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:24,427 What happened to that video I sent you? 38 00:01:24,428 --> 00:01:26,369 That wasn't... that didn't work. 39 00:01:26,371 --> 00:01:27,691 That was... not the right thing. 40 00:01:27,693 --> 00:01:29,013 - Wait, let's see it. - Play it. 41 00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:31,207 - I think I got it right here. - No... 42 00:01:39,784 --> 00:01:42,151 Forgot about this. 43 00:01:43,588 --> 00:01:44,887 That was not a fail. 44 00:01:44,889 --> 00:01:46,550 That was actually a serious accident 45 00:01:46,551 --> 00:01:48,391 that could've resulted in severe bodily harm. 46 00:01:48,393 --> 00:01:50,473 - Fail, fail, fail. - You're all failing right now. 47 00:01:50,474 --> 00:01:52,462 Congratulations on your epic fail 48 00:01:52,464 --> 00:01:54,597 of the use of the word fail. 49 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,259 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 50 00:02:05,977 --> 00:02:09,779 God. 51 00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,047 What's going on? 52 00:02:11,049 --> 00:02:13,149 Nothing, nothing is going on. Keep moving, please. 53 00:02:13,151 --> 00:02:14,484 What's he measuring? 54 00:02:14,486 --> 00:02:16,619 Okay, excuse me, I'm the landlord. 55 00:02:16,621 --> 00:02:18,141 This is between me and the management, 56 00:02:18,142 --> 00:02:19,155 no one else, please. 57 00:02:19,157 --> 00:02:20,757 It's an EMF hotspot. 58 00:02:20,759 --> 00:02:22,158 My God! 59 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,694 It stands for electromagnetic fields generally caused 60 00:02:24,696 --> 00:02:26,996 by a concentration of wiring in one area, 61 00:02:26,998 --> 00:02:29,098 especially if poorly insulated. 62 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:30,833 Dwight? 63 00:02:30,835 --> 00:02:34,070 Okay, I'm just walking into this. 64 00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:36,973 Am I to understand there's a beehive in the wall? 65 00:02:36,975 --> 00:02:39,842 You think I have a machine for measuring beehives? 66 00:02:39,844 --> 00:02:41,544 I was just asking a question, Toby. 67 00:02:41,546 --> 00:02:43,012 How are you not murdered every hour? 68 00:02:43,014 --> 00:02:46,215 Well, I'm not getting paid to work in a microwave oven. 69 00:02:46,217 --> 00:02:50,019 Okay, listen, everything here is up to code. 70 00:02:50,021 --> 00:02:52,722 The wires need insulation. 71 00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:56,092 It's a wire, people. I'm not buying it a fur coat. 72 00:03:00,831 --> 00:03:02,165 - Thank you. - You got it. 73 00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:05,468 Last week, I finally told Pam about the other job 74 00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:07,637 - I took in Philly, the side job. - Thank you. 75 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:11,340 And she was so incredibly cool about it. 76 00:03:11,342 --> 00:03:15,445 And now, I just want to do something huge for her. 77 00:03:15,447 --> 00:03:17,613 Like if we were in some biker bar, 78 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,148 and she mouthed off to some bikers, 79 00:03:19,150 --> 00:03:22,051 and they came lumbering over, and I was like, "wham! 80 00:03:22,053 --> 00:03:24,487 Gotta go through me first." 81 00:03:32,497 --> 00:03:33,996 Andy, could I have a word, please? 82 00:03:33,998 --> 00:03:35,598 It won't take a moment. 83 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,166 It's extremely important, 84 00:03:37,168 --> 00:03:39,202 and it really has to happen now. 85 00:03:39,204 --> 00:03:41,771 Fine, I will give you one minute... 86 00:03:41,773 --> 00:03:43,573 Please, don't use the hourglass. 87 00:03:43,575 --> 00:03:45,742 You have one minute, and your minute has begun, 88 00:03:45,744 --> 00:03:48,044 and no time will be added at the end, 89 00:03:48,046 --> 00:03:49,912 even to accommodate this sentence 90 00:03:49,914 --> 00:03:52,815 with all of its baroque-dependent clauses 91 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:56,819 and cascading turns of phrase. 92 00:03:56,821 --> 00:03:58,654 I'm trying to adopt a baby. 93 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:02,024 A baby what? A human? 94 00:04:02,026 --> 00:04:04,894 And the agency require character reference 95 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:05,928 from my employer. 96 00:04:07,265 --> 00:04:08,498 You won't have to do anything. 97 00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:09,780 I would write the letter myself. 98 00:04:09,781 --> 00:04:11,601 You'd just need to sign it, so... 99 00:04:11,603 --> 00:04:17,373 Okay, and fall right into your plagiarism-entrapment scheme? 100 00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:19,776 - I don't think so. - It's not... 101 00:04:19,778 --> 00:04:22,612 And I happen to notice you're down to about 30 seconds here. 102 00:04:22,614 --> 00:04:24,734 Well, then, if I could just convince you that you... 103 00:04:24,735 --> 00:04:26,855 And those sand grains are tumbling with fury down... 104 00:04:26,856 --> 00:04:28,885 It's not entrapment if I'm writing... 105 00:04:28,887 --> 00:04:30,253 Time's up! 106 00:04:30,255 --> 00:04:32,355 Fine. 107 00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:33,823 Sure, I'll read her letter, 108 00:04:33,825 --> 00:04:35,691 and if she tells the truth 109 00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:38,394 about how evil and unfit to be a mother she is, 110 00:04:38,396 --> 00:04:40,630 then, yeah, I'll sign that. 111 00:04:40,632 --> 00:04:44,000 "Statistical correlations exist between EMF radiation 112 00:04:44,002 --> 00:04:46,435 and various health hazards, 113 00:04:46,437 --> 00:04:49,739 but mainstream studies are inconclusive." 114 00:04:49,741 --> 00:04:52,375 That means you can't make me do squat. 115 00:04:52,377 --> 00:04:53,376 You better fix this. 116 00:04:53,378 --> 00:04:54,610 I already ditched my uterus, 117 00:04:54,612 --> 00:04:56,512 and I ain't losing any more good parts. 118 00:04:56,514 --> 00:04:58,314 You people don't realize what you're asking. 119 00:04:58,315 --> 00:04:59,982 I'd have to rip open the walls. 120 00:04:59,984 --> 00:05:03,386 I'd have to shut this place down for a week. 121 00:05:03,388 --> 00:05:05,521 Week off. That'd be great. 122 00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,247 Hey, if you don't want to teach me PowerPoint, 123 00:05:19,248 --> 00:05:19,869 just say so. 124 00:05:19,871 --> 00:05:21,351 I don't want to teach you PowerPoint. 125 00:05:21,352 --> 00:05:23,272 Come on. Just show me PowerPoint. 126 00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:25,441 - Just do the tutorial. - You're the tutorial. 127 00:05:25,443 --> 00:05:28,044 No, dude, I'm not. I'm not the tutorial. 128 00:05:28,046 --> 00:05:29,045 You could be. 129 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,683 What are you doing? 130 00:05:33,685 --> 00:05:35,351 Getting my wife a week off from work. 131 00:05:35,353 --> 00:05:37,420 You popped one kernel. 132 00:05:37,422 --> 00:05:41,657 Awesome, right? 133 00:05:41,659 --> 00:05:43,659 So creed is that dude's stepdad? 134 00:05:43,661 --> 00:05:45,661 Correct. 135 00:05:45,663 --> 00:05:48,831 Well, I don't know about the rest of you, 136 00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:51,534 but I'm just going to say it; I'm nervous. 137 00:05:51,536 --> 00:05:53,536 I have no idea what health problems 138 00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:54,971 this is all going to cause. 139 00:05:54,973 --> 00:05:56,239 - He's right. - What? Come on. 140 00:05:56,241 --> 00:05:57,801 I'm getting older. I'm losing my hair. 141 00:05:57,803 --> 00:05:59,523 - I'm sorry. - I'm gonna grow a third arm. 142 00:05:59,524 --> 00:06:00,943 I know what Jim is trying to do. 143 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:02,305 He's trying to get big, bad Dwight 144 00:06:02,306 --> 00:06:03,980 to shell out for a huge repair job, 145 00:06:03,982 --> 00:06:06,215 while Lucky Jimbo gets a paid vacation. 146 00:06:06,217 --> 00:06:07,984 Well, sorry, Lucky Jimbo, 147 00:06:07,986 --> 00:06:10,353 I can live very happily in a magnetic field. 148 00:06:10,355 --> 00:06:13,389 Most of my childhood heroes got their powers that way. 149 00:06:13,391 --> 00:06:16,359 Side effects of EMF include headaches... 150 00:06:16,361 --> 00:06:17,793 Had them all my life. 151 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,528 Breast pain... 152 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:22,031 No nobbies, no probbies. Nice try, Jim. 153 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,599 Oof. Infertility. 154 00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:27,670 Yeah, right. 155 00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:38,447 There's my popcorn. Can you just grab that for me? 156 00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:41,951 Keep your snacks on your side, Jim, idiot. 157 00:06:41,953 --> 00:06:45,755 - What the...? - What? 158 00:06:45,757 --> 00:06:47,290 Some of these kernels have crowned. 159 00:06:47,292 --> 00:06:52,028 That's impossible 'cause that's a brand-new bag. 160 00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:54,864 My God. 161 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,601 Andy! 162 00:07:01,939 --> 00:07:03,740 I'm going to drive you up to the lake, 163 00:07:03,741 --> 00:07:05,141 give you a whole week on the water, 164 00:07:05,143 --> 00:07:07,043 just you, me, and the kids. 165 00:07:07,045 --> 00:07:08,978 Can we stop by that pie stand on the way? 166 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:11,814 You mean, "Laverne's Pies, Tires Fixed Also"? Yes. 167 00:07:11,816 --> 00:07:13,936 We will be doing that, and we'll be getting a dozen. 168 00:07:13,937 --> 00:07:15,977 A dozen different pies? 'Cause that means rhubarb. 169 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:16,953 Why would you say that? 170 00:07:16,955 --> 00:07:18,421 I meant four apple, four blueberry, 171 00:07:18,423 --> 00:07:19,922 two cherry, one peach, one chocolate. 172 00:07:19,924 --> 00:07:21,357 I thought that was implied. 173 00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:22,792 Yeah, okay, then. 174 00:07:22,794 --> 00:07:25,194 Ladies and gentlemen, I have heard your complaints, 175 00:07:25,196 --> 00:07:27,263 and we reached a settlement. 176 00:07:27,265 --> 00:07:28,564 So... 177 00:07:28,566 --> 00:07:31,267 We will be leaving the office for one whole week. 178 00:07:31,269 --> 00:07:32,802 Nice job. 179 00:07:32,804 --> 00:07:35,271 In my contract, it is stipulated 180 00:07:35,273 --> 00:07:37,306 that I provide a temporary work space. 181 00:07:37,308 --> 00:07:38,908 It will arrive in one hour. 182 00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,409 What? 183 00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:41,744 What's this? 184 00:07:41,746 --> 00:07:43,612 - What? - Bring it in. 185 00:07:43,614 --> 00:07:46,315 Roll into the future with work bus. 186 00:07:46,317 --> 00:07:48,951 Say good-bye to wasteful buildings. 187 00:07:48,953 --> 00:07:50,252 These days, a mobile office 188 00:07:50,254 --> 00:07:52,288 isn't just for hotshot politicians. 189 00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:53,789 Now anyone can rent a work bus. 190 00:07:53,791 --> 00:07:55,257 If you've got a parking lot, 191 00:07:55,259 --> 00:07:58,194 a work space is just a phone call away. 192 00:07:58,196 --> 00:07:59,428 In this age 193 00:07:59,430 --> 00:08:01,630 of belt-tightening and less-empowered workers, 194 00:08:01,632 --> 00:08:02,631 a work bus 195 00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:06,769 is how tomorrow gets things done. 196 00:08:10,422 --> 00:08:11,988 - Shh! - Shh! 197 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,022 Shh! $23.99 a page, yes. 198 00:08:13,024 --> 00:08:14,857 - Six. Yes. - Yeah. 199 00:08:14,859 --> 00:08:15,892 Sorry about that. 200 00:08:15,894 --> 00:08:16,926 My God! 201 00:08:16,928 --> 00:08:18,761 Oops. Sorry. 202 00:08:18,763 --> 00:08:20,329 Lose weight. 203 00:08:20,331 --> 00:08:22,498 I'm trying. Sorry. 204 00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,278 The Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare 205 00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:29,572 pre-adoption standard? 206 00:08:29,574 --> 00:08:32,175 Of course, you were adopted. 207 00:08:32,177 --> 00:08:34,343 I wish. 208 00:08:34,345 --> 00:08:37,747 No, I made some short lists, I had a couple of sleepovers, 209 00:08:37,749 --> 00:08:40,917 but I never managed to get in the end-zone. 210 00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:43,152 I don't know what it was. 211 00:08:43,154 --> 00:08:44,721 Not lovable, maybe? 212 00:08:44,723 --> 00:08:45,922 Well. 213 00:08:45,924 --> 00:08:48,091 Listen, I'm really struggling with this form. 214 00:08:48,093 --> 00:08:50,593 But as you know the system, do you think maybe you could... 215 00:08:50,595 --> 00:08:52,862 Absolutely, I know exactly what they want to hear. 216 00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:54,184 I would... I would love to help. 217 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,799 Thank you so much. 218 00:08:56,801 --> 00:08:58,968 Just don't tell Andy because... 219 00:08:58,970 --> 00:08:59,969 - He hates me. - And... 220 00:08:59,971 --> 00:09:01,331 - Thinks I'm a monster. - That... 221 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,873 Should go back to Loch Ness. 222 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:07,210 Stretch. All right. 223 00:09:07,212 --> 00:09:09,946 How many times do you need to take a stroll? 224 00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:13,416 I... my legs cramp up, okay? It's a circulation issue. 225 00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:14,917 Boy, I will hammer-spank your rear. 226 00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:16,486 All right, all right, gang. 227 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,568 Let's just settle down. You're yelling in her face. 228 00:09:18,569 --> 00:09:19,789 It's a medical thing. 229 00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:21,090 Just... You good? 230 00:09:21,092 --> 00:09:23,826 I'm good. I... 231 00:09:23,828 --> 00:09:25,995 I'm so sorry for all of this. 232 00:09:25,997 --> 00:09:28,297 It's okay. 233 00:09:28,299 --> 00:09:31,467 You know what they say, a change is as good as a rest. 234 00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:33,469 I... I need to get to the paper, please. 235 00:09:33,471 --> 00:09:34,470 Sorry. 236 00:09:34,472 --> 00:09:35,605 God! 237 00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:36,906 - My God! - Okay... 238 00:09:36,908 --> 00:09:38,407 I'll get you a napkin. 239 00:09:38,409 --> 00:09:39,876 Can someone get napkins, please? 240 00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:42,044 You know what, it's fine. It's fine, let me just... 241 00:09:42,046 --> 00:09:43,045 It's fine. 242 00:09:43,047 --> 00:09:46,482 Pam, I'm really sorry. I just... 243 00:09:46,484 --> 00:09:48,484 I'm... I'm really sorry about all that. 244 00:09:51,755 --> 00:09:53,523 Really? Smirking? 245 00:09:53,525 --> 00:09:56,325 What can I say? I love justice. 246 00:09:56,327 --> 00:09:58,728 You forced me to spend money on needless repairs, 247 00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:00,763 and now you're locked in a prison bus, 248 00:10:00,765 --> 00:10:02,698 and your woman drips with beverage. 249 00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,940 Hey, Dwight, I was trying to do something nice for Pam. 250 00:10:04,941 --> 00:10:06,803 Can you just help me out? 251 00:10:06,805 --> 00:10:09,005 Can we maybe take this thing somewhere, 252 00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:11,174 or do something to not make this the worst day ever? 253 00:10:11,176 --> 00:10:14,143 It's not my responsibility to solve your marriage problems 254 00:10:14,145 --> 00:10:17,513 by spending my money on gas. 255 00:10:18,849 --> 00:10:20,917 Andy! 256 00:10:20,919 --> 00:10:22,351 Yo! Toonces. 257 00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:23,569 You're the boss. 258 00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:25,570 Don't you think we'd all be a lot more productive 259 00:10:25,571 --> 00:10:26,691 if while we were doing work, 260 00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:27,492 we looked up and saw 261 00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:29,133 the best rural pie stand in Pennsylvania? 262 00:10:29,134 --> 00:10:31,561 I know I'd be more productive. 263 00:10:31,563 --> 00:10:33,896 - As would I. - No question. 264 00:10:33,898 --> 00:10:36,065 No! No! This is a work bus. 265 00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:38,367 The wheels are for transporting the work space 266 00:10:38,369 --> 00:10:39,902 to and from the work site. 267 00:10:39,904 --> 00:10:41,170 What are you talking about? 268 00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:43,773 You're not the boss, Andy is. Andy? 269 00:10:43,775 --> 00:10:47,677 Pies, pies, pies, pies, pies, pies. 270 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:52,348 All right! The fat people have spoken. 271 00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:54,584 Dwight, get this bus moving. 272 00:10:57,388 --> 00:11:00,957 Next stop, Laverne's Pies, Tires Fixed Also. 273 00:11:00,959 --> 00:11:03,192 Yes! 274 00:11:04,195 --> 00:11:07,129 Yeah, Jim! 275 00:11:07,131 --> 00:11:08,564 So it looks like this work bus 276 00:11:08,566 --> 00:11:11,267 was a pretty good idea after all, 277 00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:13,202 Get your foot behind the yellow line. 278 00:11:13,204 --> 00:11:15,204 You got it. 279 00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:17,974 Yeah, Jim! 280 00:11:27,384 --> 00:11:28,618 - Stop. - Come back. 281 00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,286 Too late. 282 00:11:30,288 --> 00:11:33,923 ♪ Shabooya roll call, shabooya-ya-ya ♪ 283 00:11:33,925 --> 00:11:35,291 ♪ shabooya roll call ♪ 284 00:11:35,293 --> 00:11:36,573 - ♪ My name is Pam ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 285 00:11:36,574 --> 00:11:37,927 ♪ I like to paint ♪ 286 00:11:37,929 --> 00:11:39,695 - ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ You think you're better? ♪ 287 00:11:39,697 --> 00:11:41,130 - ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ No, you ain't ♪ 288 00:11:41,132 --> 00:11:42,231 ♪ Roll call ♪ 289 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:43,966 ♪ Shabooya-ya-ya ♪ 290 00:11:43,968 --> 00:11:47,336 ♪ shabooya roll call, shabooya-ya-ya ♪ 291 00:11:47,338 --> 00:11:48,704 ♪ shabooya roll call ♪ 292 00:11:48,706 --> 00:11:50,172 - ♪ My name is Kevin ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 293 00:11:50,174 --> 00:11:52,208 - ♪ That is my name ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 294 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,910 - ♪ They call me Kevin ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 295 00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:56,112 - ♪ 'Cause that's my name ♪ - ♪ Roll call ♪ 296 00:11:56,114 --> 00:11:59,548 ♪ shabooya-ya-ya shabooya roll call ♪ 297 00:11:59,550 --> 00:12:02,852 ♪ shabooya-ya-ya shabooya roll call ♪ 298 00:12:11,728 --> 00:12:12,762 Thanks. 299 00:12:12,764 --> 00:12:16,465 Playing a little hooky from work today. 300 00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:20,970 My God. 301 00:12:20,972 --> 00:12:24,473 Dunder Mifflin road trip 2012! 302 00:12:24,475 --> 00:12:28,010 Okay, now a serious one. 303 00:12:28,012 --> 00:12:30,012 Hey, where's Dwight? He should be a part of this. 304 00:12:32,282 --> 00:12:34,283 Has he been acting kind of weird to you lately? 305 00:12:34,285 --> 00:12:36,953 If by "lately," you mean for the last 12 years, yeah. 306 00:12:36,955 --> 00:12:38,835 No, I mean, he's sulking. That's not like him. 307 00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:40,456 He's just mad that we're all having fun. 308 00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:43,392 Then why isn't he scheming or preparing to avenge? 309 00:12:44,962 --> 00:12:47,897 He's fine. He's indestructible. 310 00:12:49,199 --> 00:12:52,201 Always say that a child is placed for adoption, 311 00:12:52,203 --> 00:12:54,470 never surrendered. 312 00:12:54,472 --> 00:12:56,105 We're not hostages. 313 00:12:56,107 --> 00:12:59,141 Although I have considered kidnapping one. 314 00:12:59,143 --> 00:13:03,179 And never say that. 315 00:13:03,181 --> 00:13:06,048 I am so excited thinking about this child 316 00:13:06,050 --> 00:13:07,383 you're going to adopt. 317 00:13:07,385 --> 00:13:09,018 I wish I could just wave a magic wand 318 00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:11,487 and make you a parentless five-year-old again. 319 00:13:11,489 --> 00:13:13,489 I would snap you up. 320 00:13:16,027 --> 00:13:18,027 Next stop, pies. 321 00:13:18,029 --> 00:13:19,495 Next stop, pies! 322 00:13:19,497 --> 00:13:23,032 Next stop, pies, next stop, pies! 323 00:13:23,034 --> 00:13:24,900 Let's go, driver! 324 00:13:24,902 --> 00:13:28,270 Laverne packs up the pie wagon at 5:00, so... 325 00:13:28,272 --> 00:13:30,840 At 5:00? That's only 20 minutes from now. 326 00:13:30,842 --> 00:13:34,010 The pie shop is 13 miles away. 327 00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:36,245 So at 55 miles an hour, 328 00:13:36,247 --> 00:13:38,748 that just gives us 5 minutes to spare. 329 00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:40,783 So, wait, when pies are involved, 330 00:13:40,785 --> 00:13:44,086 you can suddenly do math in your head? 331 00:13:44,088 --> 00:13:48,090 Hold on, Kevin, how much is 19,154 pies 332 00:13:48,092 --> 00:13:50,626 divided by 61 pies? 333 00:13:50,628 --> 00:13:54,397 314 pies. 334 00:13:54,399 --> 00:13:56,432 What if it were salads? 335 00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:59,668 Well, it's the... 336 00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:04,573 carry the four and the... it doesn't work. 337 00:14:04,575 --> 00:14:07,043 I'm sorry to spoil Jim's fantastic voyage, everyone, 338 00:14:07,045 --> 00:14:08,411 but we're almost out of gas. 339 00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:10,413 Okay, well, I saw a station about a mile back, 340 00:14:10,415 --> 00:14:11,747 so chop, chop. 341 00:14:11,749 --> 00:14:14,183 That name brand place? No, forget about it, sorry. 342 00:14:14,185 --> 00:14:17,386 The tanks are so big on this thing, 5¢ a gallon extra? 343 00:14:17,388 --> 00:14:18,387 It really adds up. 344 00:14:18,389 --> 00:14:19,755 Are you kidding me? 345 00:14:19,757 --> 00:14:21,424 - Dwight, come on. - Hey. 346 00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:23,026 Honey, I don't think we should push him. 347 00:14:23,027 --> 00:14:24,067 No, I'm going to push him. 348 00:14:24,068 --> 00:14:25,928 You know why? Because you are getting a pie. 349 00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:27,496 Why? 'Cause you deserve it. 350 00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:28,493 And what is he doing? 351 00:14:28,494 --> 00:14:30,574 He's trying to drive us all around the countryside, 352 00:14:30,575 --> 00:14:32,695 looking for gas because he knows we won't get there. 353 00:14:32,696 --> 00:14:33,536 Is that what we want? 354 00:14:33,538 --> 00:14:34,837 No! 355 00:14:34,839 --> 00:14:36,572 Stop ordering me around, Jim! 356 00:14:36,574 --> 00:14:38,474 - What do we want? - Pies! 357 00:14:38,476 --> 00:14:39,475 When do we want it? 358 00:14:39,477 --> 00:14:42,711 - Pies. - Okay, fine. 359 00:14:44,714 --> 00:14:46,943 You win, Jim. You win. 360 00:14:46,944 --> 00:14:48,464 We have been battling for a long time, 361 00:14:48,465 --> 00:14:49,585 but, you know what, you win. 362 00:14:49,587 --> 00:14:51,627 'Cause you are the winner, you are the alpha male. 363 00:14:51,628 --> 00:14:52,388 There you go. 364 00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:53,889 Alpha male, go buy your wife a pie. 365 00:14:53,891 --> 00:14:55,391 Go buy the whole world a pie. 366 00:14:55,393 --> 00:14:58,527 That's impossible. 367 00:14:58,529 --> 00:14:59,829 - No! - Dwight! 368 00:14:59,831 --> 00:15:01,111 - What are you doing? - Dwight! 369 00:15:01,112 --> 00:15:02,264 - What the hell? - Dwight. 370 00:15:02,266 --> 00:15:05,367 - Dwight. - What? 371 00:15:05,369 --> 00:15:09,004 Well, now I don't even feel like pie. 372 00:15:09,006 --> 00:15:11,006 Wait. 373 00:15:11,008 --> 00:15:12,308 No, it's back. 374 00:15:16,028 --> 00:15:17,847 Just drive away. 375 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,517 Phyllis, that's not safe. 376 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,819 Guys, we only have 18 minutes left. 377 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:24,989 At 61 miles an hour, we're just going to barely make it. 378 00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,958 Go up and check on him, he's upset. 379 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,560 You know he's doing all this on purpose. 380 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,194 Please, just make sure he's okay. 381 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,464 Hurry it up, for God's sake. 382 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,099 They're going to be out of banana cream. 383 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,367 Banana cream's the first to go. 384 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,129 We'd be lucky to get pumpkin at this point. 385 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,871 What? 386 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,373 Dwight? 387 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,208 Why are you such a jerk? 388 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:47,078 I'm trying to do something for my wife, and you keep... 389 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,213 I'm barren, Jim. 390 00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,348 What? 391 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,584 My trouser hives are void of honey. 392 00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:55,920 I had congress with Angela, and the child that she bore 393 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,889 did not issue from my loins. 394 00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:01,192 Thought I would be a father, and instead I am a eunuch, 395 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,929 neutered by my own building. 396 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,966 Is this about the popcorn, or the X on the ceiling? 397 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:11,035 Dwight, that was a prank. 398 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,670 You mean you flooded my building 399 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,306 with dangerous electromagnetic radiation as a prank? 400 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,808 - No. - That's genius. 401 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,370 That's the best prank you've ever done. 402 00:16:18,371 --> 00:16:19,744 I'll take it. 403 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,015 Andy? 404 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,117 Who is it? 405 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,219 - Is this a good time? - Yeah. 406 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:31,556 Perfect time, right in the middle of a rooftop crisis. 407 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,058 Fine, yeah, let me read it. What do we have here? 408 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:35,532 Okay... 409 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,431 You've made this very easy for me. 410 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,833 It's unsignable. 411 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,869 What, is there something...? 412 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:49,073 It's inaccurate, dishonest, and, in a word, dong-water. 413 00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:51,376 Well, perhaps I could reword some of it... 414 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,377 Here's the thing. 415 00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:53,911 You asked me to do you a favor, 416 00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:55,880 I did it, I read it. 417 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:59,384 Thank you very much to me for my time. 418 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,085 Good luck with your impossible dream. 419 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,622 All right, then. 420 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,260 Dwight, sometimes it takes couples 421 00:17:16,261 --> 00:17:17,502 years to get pregnant. 422 00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:20,338 Really? How long did it take you and Pam to conceive? 423 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,339 That doesn't matter. 424 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:22,874 What position did you use to conceive, 425 00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,409 regular or lady-on-her-back? 426 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,477 You used lady-on-her-back, didn't you, freak? 427 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,279 Yuck, gross. Never mind, Jim. 428 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,626 British women, famously over-emotional, 429 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,028 am I right? 430 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,830 I don't think that's Nellie. 431 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,466 What? 432 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,935 No, no, no. It's all right. 433 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,504 Really, it isn't your fault. 434 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:57,475 No, no. It's... You were so kind, 435 00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,210 and it isn't anything to do with you. 436 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,481 Did you ever think that because you own the building, 437 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,470 everyone in it, 438 00:18:05,471 --> 00:18:06,951 we're all kind of like your children. 439 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,021 You know, there's a phrase about that in German, 440 00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:11,222 bilden-kinder, 441 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,825 used almost exclusively by childless landlords 442 00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:16,527 to console themselves, but now, 443 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,996 I really understand it. 444 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:23,501 Well, now you have a bus full of real building-kinder. 445 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,069 - Bilden-kinder. - Okay. 446 00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:29,607 And they're all dangerously close to not getting pie. 447 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,043 And there's only one guy who can save them. 448 00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:33,544 It's not me. 449 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,079 I agree. 450 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,416 Hey, how did it go? 451 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,018 - It was pretty good, actually. - Yeah? 452 00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,085 We bonded, we got to t... 453 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,654 - Dwight, Dwight! - Dwight! 454 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,856 That's what happens when you don't get out of the way. 455 00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:48,359 Out of the way! 456 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:49,894 You feel okay now? 457 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:50,995 Better than okay. 458 00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,396 And you know what, honey? 459 00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:54,465 I'm going to get you that rhubarb pie. 460 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,387 Well, actually, rhubarb 461 00:18:55,388 --> 00:18:57,348 - is the one pie that I don't... - Don't, don't. 462 00:18:57,349 --> 00:18:58,402 Everybody, hang on! 463 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,017 Pie, pie, pie, pie, pie, pie! 464 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,599 I changed my mind. 465 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,035 - You signed it? - Yeah. 466 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:34,071 Not as is, obviously. 467 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,106 Made a couple of changes, 468 00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:38,242 added some sentences at the end. 469 00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:41,045 Trust me, it needed it. 470 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:44,916 But, yeah, whatever. 471 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,956 "She's tough in business, but tender 472 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,457 with the people she cares about. 473 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,927 She'll make a wonderful mother to any child 474 00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:58,329 who can overlook weird accents." 475 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:06,771 - I insult you, Oscar. - What? 476 00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:09,941 I insult you to your face. 477 00:20:09,943 --> 00:20:11,976 I don't know what you're talking about. 478 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,879 Then why don't you do something about it? 479 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,181 Kevin, are you trying to get me to hit you 480 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,282 in the face with my pie? 481 00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:20,718 You don't have the guts. 482 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:25,756 You stupid, dumb, doo-doo face. 483 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,632 Yes! 484 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,869 My God. I'm getting so stuffed. 485 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,975 We did it. 486 00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:46,143 You did it. 487 00:20:59,513 --> 00:21:00,880 - ♪ My name is Andy ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 488 00:21:00,882 --> 00:21:02,849 - ♪ I don't do drugs ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 489 00:21:02,851 --> 00:21:05,118 - ♪ Now, check the style ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 490 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,320 - ♪ Of flatt and scruggs ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 491 00:21:21,168 --> 00:21:22,168 Roll call. 492 00:21:22,170 --> 00:21:23,203 Roll call. 493 00:21:23,205 --> 00:21:24,771 Roll call. 494 00:21:24,773 --> 00:21:25,839 Roll call. 495 00:21:25,841 --> 00:21:27,409 What? 496 00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:29,330 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com