1
00:00:01,582 --> 00:00:04,807
This year I decided to really get
into the spirit of Halloween.
2
00:00:12,686 --> 00:00:15,651
*** decision I've ever made.
3
00:00:17,877 --> 00:00:20,032
My *** head went into
the pumpkin no problem...
4
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,954
- It won't ***.
- ...but I can't get it out.
5
00:00:23,589 --> 00:00:25,203
Try again.
6
00:00:25,205 --> 00:00:27,045
I mean, I could try
destroying the pumpkin...
7
00:00:27,046 --> 00:00:28,156
No! No! No! No!
Please!
8
00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:30,441
But as Jim and I discovered...
9
00:00:30,443 --> 00:00:32,577
No!
10
00:00:32,579 --> 00:00:36,164
...any blow to the pumpkin itself
could prove fatal to me.
11
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,366
At first, I drove myself crazy
12
00:00:37,367 --> 00:00:39,607
thinking about the things
I should've done differently.
13
00:00:39,608 --> 00:00:40,618
Yes, Dwight.
14
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:42,837
I never should've
played that joke on Erin.
15
00:00:42,839 --> 00:00:44,039
I never should've hollowed out
16
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,591
this damn pumpkin in the first place.
17
00:00:46,593 --> 00:00:49,811
But then I realized I was being silly.
18
00:00:49,813 --> 00:00:52,764
I mean, the pumpkin
should rot off of my head
19
00:00:52,766 --> 00:00:55,650
in a month or two...
right?
20
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:05,249
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
21
00:01:05,284 --> 00:01:07,478
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
22
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,981
- Pam, what are you?
- I'm Doctor Cinderella.
23
00:01:09,983 --> 00:01:11,477
Cece's really into princesses now,
24
00:01:11,478 --> 00:01:13,918
so we decided to turn them into
positive female role models.
25
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,787
I'm an oncologist.
26
00:01:15,789 --> 00:01:17,455
And you are a dog.
27
00:01:17,457 --> 00:01:19,490
No, I'm a puppy.
28
00:01:19,492 --> 00:01:21,376
Dang it!
I was worried that would happen.
29
00:01:21,378 --> 00:01:22,677
- It's okay.
- Jim,
30
00:01:22,679 --> 00:01:24,045
you're not dressed up at all.
31
00:01:24,047 --> 00:01:27,716
Sure I am.
I am...
32
00:01:27,718 --> 00:01:29,333
one of the Men In Black guys.
33
00:01:29,335 --> 00:01:30,602
Can I have your sunglasses?
34
00:01:30,604 --> 00:01:32,470
Jim, come on.
I thought we were past this.
35
00:01:32,472 --> 00:01:34,272
So the sports marketing business
36
00:01:34,274 --> 00:01:36,307
that Jim told everyone about
except for me?
37
00:01:36,309 --> 00:01:38,526
There's a big investment lunch today,
38
00:01:38,528 --> 00:01:40,678
so I decided to skip the costume.
39
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,414
Unless he has a secret costume
40
00:01:42,416 --> 00:01:44,232
that he told everyone about except for me.
41
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,234
Getting a lot of
mileage out of this, aren't you?
42
00:01:46,235 --> 00:01:48,653
Yeah, well, get used to it, bud.
43
00:01:50,856 --> 00:01:53,208
♪ A jitterbug ♪
44
00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:54,576
You guys look great!
45
00:01:54,578 --> 00:01:57,299
Just a reminder:
The party is right after lunch,
46
00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:59,380
so make sure you get
all your work done before that
47
00:01:59,382 --> 00:02:01,883
or throw it out.
Any questions?
48
00:02:01,885 --> 00:02:05,136
The senator will be joining us later.
49
00:02:05,138 --> 00:02:06,171
Not a question.
50
00:02:06,173 --> 00:02:08,039
- No, it wasn't.
- Excellent.
51
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:10,058
That reminds me, has anyone seen Treble?
52
00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:11,559
Anyone?
53
00:02:11,561 --> 00:02:14,896
I could have sworn
I saw some Treble somewhere.
54
00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:19,734
Ladies and gentlemen, Here Comes Treble!
55
00:02:19,736 --> 00:02:21,402
- ♪ I'm a man ♪
- ♪ A man ♪
56
00:02:21,404 --> 00:02:23,938
♪ without conviction ♪
57
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:28,526
♪ you come and go, you come and go ♪
58
00:02:29,863 --> 00:02:34,065
♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma,
karma chameleon ♪
59
00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:39,454
♪ you come and go, you come and go ♪
60
00:02:39,456 --> 00:02:42,957
♪ loving would be easy if your
colors were like my dreams ♪
61
00:02:42,959 --> 00:02:48,630
♪ red, gold, and green,
red, gold, and green ♪
62
00:02:48,632 --> 00:02:49,914
♪ karma come on ♪
63
00:02:49,916 --> 00:02:52,383
So good!
64
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:57,105
What lab did these
little clones escape from?
65
00:02:57,107 --> 00:02:58,807
My Cornell a cappella group.
66
00:02:58,809 --> 00:03:00,408
You were in an a cappella group?
67
00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:02,110
You went to Cornell?
68
00:03:02,112 --> 00:03:04,262
Yeah.
Okay, ha, ha, ha, ha.
69
00:03:04,264 --> 00:03:06,097
But you have no idea how lucky you are,
70
00:03:06,099 --> 00:03:10,118
because HCT is doing a set
at our Halloween party.
71
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,903
I don't want to sit through
72
00:03:11,905 --> 00:03:13,404
a whole concert of that.
73
00:03:13,406 --> 00:03:15,123
I do.
I love the boss's interests.
74
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:16,991
Atta boy, Clark.
75
00:03:16,993 --> 00:03:18,442
Where you boys staying?
76
00:03:18,444 --> 00:03:20,945
How does it work in the rooms?
You get a privacy partition?
77
00:03:20,947 --> 00:03:23,631
No. No, nope, not...
No, stay away.
78
00:03:23,633 --> 00:03:25,466
You know what I just realized?
79
00:03:25,468 --> 00:03:28,419
They might actually call me up to solo
80
00:03:28,421 --> 00:03:30,805
on George Michael's Faith.
81
00:03:30,807 --> 00:03:33,041
That was one of my signature songs.
82
00:03:33,043 --> 00:03:37,428
Man.
That would be insane.
83
00:03:37,430 --> 00:03:40,698
I'm so not prepared.
84
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:43,484
Are you sure you're okay with
me putting in this much money?
85
00:03:43,486 --> 00:03:44,650
Yeah.
I mean, listen,
86
00:03:44,651 --> 00:03:46,971
if we're gonna do this thing,
then we should do it right.
87
00:03:46,973 --> 00:03:48,806
You're the best.
88
00:03:50,109 --> 00:03:51,809
I kind of am.
89
00:03:51,811 --> 00:03:53,745
- It's crazy.
- Okay.
90
00:03:53,747 --> 00:03:55,347
- I'll see you in a little bit.
- Okay.
91
00:03:55,348 --> 00:03:56,388
Jim, look, I'm eating you.
92
00:03:56,389 --> 00:03:57,699
- Shut up.
- Ha, ha!
93
00:03:57,701 --> 00:04:01,586
Hey, Erin, look, these are nerds.
94
00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:02,820
I'm eating Jims.
95
00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:07,292
Must eat more Jims.
96
00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:10,595
Stop it! Stop it!
97
00:04:10,597 --> 00:04:12,677
- I'm spilling Jims...
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
98
00:04:12,679 --> 00:04:14,999
- All over the carpet, Erin!
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
99
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,396
Hello, little pill.
What do you do?
100
00:04:30,115 --> 00:04:32,867
Dumatril is licensed
to treat anxiety symptoms,
101
00:04:32,869 --> 00:04:36,354
such as panic attacks,
excessive worrying, and fear.
102
00:04:36,356 --> 00:04:40,575
Translation,
there's a madman in our midst.
103
00:04:41,543 --> 00:04:43,378
Okay, I give up.
What are you?
104
00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:44,879
I'm Sexy Toby.
105
00:04:44,881 --> 00:04:47,415
Gross.
106
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,334
I love it.
107
00:04:49,336 --> 00:04:52,036
Dumatril!
108
00:04:52,038 --> 00:04:54,305
Something wrong, Dwight?
109
00:04:54,307 --> 00:04:57,058
- Dumatril.
- Yes?
110
00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:59,710
This is a pill I found here in the office,
111
00:04:59,712 --> 00:05:01,379
but it's not for worms or eczema,
112
00:05:01,381 --> 00:05:02,546
like any normal pill.
113
00:05:02,548 --> 00:05:04,882
It's not for any disorder of the body.
114
00:05:04,884 --> 00:05:07,051
It's for a disorder of the mind.
115
00:05:07,053 --> 00:05:09,938
The mind is part of the body.
116
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:14,058
Okay, this is a pill
that combats insanity, okay?
117
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,861
Whoever is taking it is not only insane...
118
00:05:16,863 --> 00:05:19,247
they are now off their meds.
119
00:05:19,249 --> 00:05:21,012
Dwight, our
co-workers' health issues
120
00:05:21,013 --> 00:05:22,533
are really none of our business, so...
121
00:05:22,535 --> 00:05:25,069
Why are you trying so hard
to bury this thing,
122
00:05:25,071 --> 00:05:26,070
What's going on, Nellie?
123
00:05:26,072 --> 00:05:27,588
Talk to me.
124
00:05:27,590 --> 00:05:28,923
It's my pill.
125
00:05:28,925 --> 00:05:31,926
I have an anxiety issue
and I'm not ashamed of that,
126
00:05:31,928 --> 00:05:36,297
but I'm not loving the idea of
Dwight having that information.
127
00:05:36,299 --> 00:05:40,969
I once saw him yell at Phyllis
for sneezing wrong.
128
00:05:40,971 --> 00:05:41,970
Yeah, you're right.
129
00:05:41,972 --> 00:05:43,292
This man needs to be apprehended.
130
00:05:43,293 --> 00:05:45,356
I'll get my apprehension kit.
131
00:05:45,358 --> 00:05:48,359
♪ Dudes... ♪
132
00:05:48,361 --> 00:05:49,360
What's up?
133
00:05:50,897 --> 00:05:52,977
I know it's pathetic
to re-live your college years,
134
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,699
but cut me some slack, okay?
135
00:05:54,701 --> 00:05:58,152
Because I was
a freaking rock star in college.
136
00:05:58,154 --> 00:05:59,737
When I joined Here Comes Treble,
137
00:05:59,739 --> 00:06:02,073
that's when I became somebody.
138
00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:04,075
When I got the nickname Boner Champ,
139
00:06:04,077 --> 00:06:09,047
that is when I became me.
140
00:06:09,049 --> 00:06:11,215
You didn't come here
to sit in a room, right?
141
00:06:11,217 --> 00:06:13,337
You came here for some
intergenerational "bro" time.
142
00:06:13,338 --> 00:06:14,952
Well, now's your chance!
I'm here.
143
00:06:14,954 --> 00:06:16,971
You got Qs, I got As.
144
00:06:19,541 --> 00:06:21,792
Did you say you've got AIDS?
145
00:06:21,794 --> 00:06:25,063
No, I don't have AIDS.
That's not what I said.
146
00:06:25,065 --> 00:06:27,098
Next question.
147
00:06:29,601 --> 00:06:30,985
You don't have any...
148
00:06:30,987 --> 00:06:34,638
any questions about the old days?
149
00:06:36,993 --> 00:06:39,610
You at least want to know why
they call me Boner Champ?
150
00:06:39,612 --> 00:06:42,663
I thought Broccoli Rob
was the Boner Champ.
151
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,286
I'm sorry, what?
152
00:06:48,288 --> 00:06:52,540
I just thought Broccoli Rob
was the Boner Champ.
153
00:06:56,929 --> 00:07:01,349
Broccoli Rob was Broccoli Rob.
154
00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:03,468
Andy Bernard is the Boner Champ.
155
00:07:09,407 --> 00:07:13,700
I hadn't realized that everybody
here dresses up every year.
156
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:14,826
Me neither.
157
00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:16,511
It's Halloween.
158
00:07:16,545 --> 00:07:19,414
That is really, really good timing.
159
00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:21,449
I was just talking to some of the actives,
160
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:24,419
and they think that you're Boner Champ.
161
00:07:24,453 --> 00:07:25,620
I'm so sorry.
162
00:07:25,671 --> 00:07:27,271
I don't know how that could've happened.
163
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,257
Did you maybe tell them that or...
164
00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:32,310
I just... I just started yappin'
about the old days,
165
00:07:32,344 --> 00:07:34,745
and I guess the wine coolers were flowing,
166
00:07:34,764 --> 00:07:37,298
and, you know,
somehow things just got hinky.
167
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:39,750
Could you call them
and just tell them the truth?
168
00:07:39,769 --> 00:07:41,219
'Cause I know it's really stupid,
169
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:44,105
but it's also really, really,
really important.
170
00:07:44,140 --> 00:07:46,908
Will do.
171
00:07:46,942 --> 00:07:48,109
I love you, Andy.
172
00:07:48,144 --> 00:07:50,395
Love you too.
173
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,397
So the workspace looks awesome.
174
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:53,583
And the graphic designer
175
00:07:53,584 --> 00:07:55,784
is gonna be sending us in
some of the logo treatments.
176
00:07:55,818 --> 00:07:56,785
Can't wait to see them.
177
00:07:56,819 --> 00:07:58,536
- You guys rock.
- I killed it.
178
00:07:58,571 --> 00:08:00,872
- Boom.
- Rockin'.
179
00:08:02,408 --> 00:08:03,648
- You get some?
- There we go.
180
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,326
I also have been running the numbers,
181
00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:07,712
and between our backers
and our own investment,
182
00:08:07,746 --> 00:08:09,614
we're looking great
for a full year on this.
183
00:08:09,632 --> 00:08:11,416
Is it too late to get in?
184
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:12,817
No, no.
185
00:08:12,835 --> 00:08:15,003
Jim, I explained everything,
so you're all set.
186
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,487
No, I actually talked to my wife,
187
00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:19,040
and we'd really like to, you know, invest,
188
00:08:19,091 --> 00:08:20,341
get in on the ground floor.
189
00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:21,492
Well,
190
00:08:21,510 --> 00:08:23,678
what level of investment
are you thinking about?
191
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:29,166
We were thinking somewhere
between $5,000, $10,000.
192
00:08:29,185 --> 00:08:30,468
I can do the full $10,000.
193
00:08:30,502 --> 00:08:31,469
We should just...
194
00:08:31,503 --> 00:08:32,470
all in.
195
00:08:32,504 --> 00:08:33,544
All right, welcome aboard.
196
00:08:33,545 --> 00:08:34,472
All right.
197
00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:35,557
Awesome, cool.
198
00:08:35,608 --> 00:08:39,027
Hey, Darryl.
I'm just here to...
199
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:41,396
Smear some peanut butter on my forehead.
200
00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:44,983
You know, to protect
his brain from the nanobots
201
00:08:45,017 --> 00:08:48,703
that the government
put in the air conditioning.
202
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,322
That makes sense to you, right?
203
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:54,692
Or does it sound...
crazy?
204
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:02,166
I can't really picture it.
Can you get it on there?
205
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,719
Yeah.
206
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:07,388
And maybe get the cheeks.
207
00:09:07,423 --> 00:09:09,140
So this makes sense, then.
208
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,341
Or is it crazy?
209
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:13,210
Get under your chin first, yeah.
210
00:09:13,229 --> 00:09:14,989
Is that where the nanobots
like to come in?
211
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:16,630
Take it all the way up to your lip, yeah.
212
00:09:16,631 --> 00:09:18,850
Okay, is that how they like to get in?
213
00:09:18,884 --> 00:09:21,886
Yeah, that's crazy.
214
00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:27,609
I don't know.
I just don't know.
215
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:29,894
Yo, bad boys of a cappella.
216
00:09:29,912 --> 00:09:31,162
Hey.
217
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,396
Heard any good stories lately?
218
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:34,699
Or new twists on old stories?
219
00:09:34,733 --> 00:09:37,952
Yeah, I got a call from Broccoli Rob.
220
00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:40,404
I guess you really are the Boner Champ.
221
00:09:40,422 --> 00:09:42,040
Did he tell you how I got the name?
222
00:09:42,074 --> 00:09:43,091
No.
223
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,593
Spring sing '95,
224
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:49,097
got completely ripped on bud dries.
225
00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:52,517
I had sex with a snowman.
226
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,969
I just went at that thing.
227
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:56,437
Cold would've stopped most people,
228
00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:59,107
but I stayed locked in.
You know,
229
00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:01,776
took the face off.
Just seemed easier that way.
230
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,896
And I told Phyllis not to put it out,
231
00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:07,699
but she insisted, so anyway...
232
00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:09,617
Hi. Oscar.
233
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,769
Remember my husband, the senator?
234
00:10:11,787 --> 00:10:13,771
Senator Lipton, nice to see you.
235
00:10:13,789 --> 00:10:14,939
Nice to see you, Oscar.
236
00:10:14,957 --> 00:10:17,458
Wait a second, who designed this spread?
237
00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:19,443
The sweets and savories
are all mixed together.
238
00:10:19,461 --> 00:10:20,461
This is mayhem.
239
00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:23,047
So, Oscar, you're a dinosaur?
240
00:10:23,082 --> 00:10:24,522
Actually, I'm the electoral college.
241
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:26,801
Ouch!
Right on target.
242
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,387
You know what?
This is outrageous.
243
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,806
I have to find Phyllis.
You two talk, okay?
244
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,809
Sorry, babe.
Phyllis!
245
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:37,812
God, it's just so good to see you.
246
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,515
I... -just...
247
00:10:40,566 --> 00:10:43,067
All having this
wonderful Halloween gathering.
248
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:44,268
Excuse me, is that punch?
249
00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:47,822
They didn't know about the snowman story,
250
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,941
and when I told 'em,
they were not impressed.
251
00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:52,327
- What is with these turkeys?
- Right?
252
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:55,079
Hey! You better do Faith,
you get me?
253
00:10:55,114 --> 00:10:57,448
We don't know it.
254
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,816
So learn it.
255
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:00,918
You all go to Cornell,
you're like eight Rain Men.
256
00:11:00,953 --> 00:11:02,153
Just learn the frickin' song.
257
00:11:02,171 --> 00:11:04,422
Look, I know it was big
with the old guys, but...
258
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:07,375
Buts...
are for pooping.
259
00:11:07,409 --> 00:11:08,509
Okay?
Make it work.
260
00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:10,962
You have to or Andy will flip out...
261
00:11:10,996 --> 00:11:12,997
and make it a surprise please.
262
00:11:15,934 --> 00:11:18,803
This isn't stupid.
263
00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:20,838
What?
264
00:11:29,615 --> 00:11:32,016
- Hey.
- Hey.
265
00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:33,401
Hey, Toby.
266
00:11:37,206 --> 00:11:39,123
Are... are you me?
267
00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:40,875
Yeah.
268
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,827
My goodness, look at...
269
00:11:42,861 --> 00:11:44,662
- Look at this.
- Yeah.
270
00:11:44,696 --> 00:11:46,798
I thought I'd,
271
00:11:46,832 --> 00:11:47,965
you know, be you.
272
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,600
- Look at... look at me.
- Look at you!
273
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:53,254
It's funny, right?
274
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:10,988
All right, all right,
just stay focused on the pill.
275
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:14,776
Okay, look, Dwight,
let's just call this thing off.
276
00:12:14,827 --> 00:12:16,277
I mean, it's just an anxiety pill.
277
00:12:16,328 --> 00:12:17,728
Lots of people have anxiety.
278
00:12:17,746 --> 00:12:18,986
You think I don't have anxiety?
279
00:12:18,987 --> 00:12:20,107
I have anxiety all the time.
280
00:12:20,108 --> 00:12:22,166
Every waking moment of my life
is sheer torture.
281
00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:24,902
I have land disputes to settle
and idiot cousins to protect
282
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,038
and ne'-do-well siblings
to take care of,
283
00:12:27,072 --> 00:12:28,623
but I don't need some stupid pill
284
00:12:28,657 --> 00:12:29,874
to get me through all this.
285
00:12:29,908 --> 00:12:31,408
Cool, free upper.
286
00:12:31,427 --> 00:12:34,078
Ha, ha!
The jig is up, psychopath!
287
00:12:34,096 --> 00:12:35,816
- What? Hey, what...
- Yeah! Yeah, gotcha!
288
00:12:35,817 --> 00:12:37,414
- Don't dog-catch me!
- Gotcha!
289
00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:38,582
Yeah!
290
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,960
Let's see you get out of this web,
291
00:12:39,961 --> 00:12:42,053
- The pill is mine.
- Wh...
292
00:12:42,087 --> 00:12:43,521
Get her out.
293
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:46,257
Stop baggin' my head!
294
00:12:52,097 --> 00:12:55,483
Dwight, look, it's just a pill, all right?
295
00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:57,434
It's for anxiety...
I take it every day,
296
00:12:57,453 --> 00:13:00,538
and it makes me feel better.
297
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:04,058
And maybe it could help you too.
298
00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:07,778
- Hey! How'd it go?
- Hey.
299
00:13:07,796 --> 00:13:09,297
Man, it was great.
They were great.
300
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:10,548
Did you end up investing?
301
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,500
- I did, yeah.
- How much?
302
00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:16,921
Man, by the end,
I guess it was... about ten.
303
00:13:16,955 --> 00:13:18,890
"About" ten?
304
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,975
Ten.
It was the full $10,000.
305
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,478
Yeah.
306
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,480
Yeah. Yeah.
307
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:27,354
It's a good thing
we talked about it, though,
308
00:13:27,355 --> 00:13:28,955
- 'cause we had to...
- Yeah, yeah, no.
309
00:13:28,956 --> 00:13:29,984
Yeah.
310
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,818
- So did everybody...
- What is it? Hold on.
311
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,412
Did everybody end up investing $10,000?
312
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,139
Man, I don't actually know.
313
00:13:35,157 --> 00:13:36,512
What?
314
00:13:36,513 --> 00:13:38,553
They weren't really
talking that much about money.
315
00:13:38,554 --> 00:13:40,354
They just said,
"we're good with investing,"
316
00:13:40,355 --> 00:13:40,955
and... and I...
317
00:13:40,956 --> 00:13:45,283
Ladies and gentlemen, Here Comes Treble.
318
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:48,919
They said they were
done with the investing,
319
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,254
and then you volunteered $10,000?
320
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:51,824
♪ ♪- No, no, I had to.
321
00:13:51,825 --> 00:13:53,745
Look, I needed to look like
a team player, Pam.
322
00:13:53,746 --> 00:13:55,826
So you invested $10,000
to look like a team player?
323
00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:57,507
- You weren't there.
- ♪ And I'll be... ♪
324
00:13:57,541 --> 00:13:59,541
It was very clear
that $10,000 was what we had...
325
00:13:59,575 --> 00:14:01,375
- We'll talk about it later.
- No, I want to
326
00:14:01,376 --> 00:14:03,334
- talk about it now.
- Pam.
327
00:14:03,352 --> 00:14:06,437
Jim, that was most of our savings.
328
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:12,226
♪ And I'll be better when I'm older ♪
329
00:14:12,277 --> 00:14:18,182
♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪
330
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,068
Wait. Wait, hold on.
331
00:14:21,119 --> 00:14:23,746
Where's the band?
'Cause there's no way
332
00:14:23,747 --> 00:14:25,907
you guys are making this magic
with just your mouths.
333
00:14:25,958 --> 00:14:27,024
That's what she said.
334
00:14:27,042 --> 00:14:29,377
What, am I overdoing it?
335
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,766
No. No.
336
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,247
♪ That color them wonderful stop me ♪
337
00:14:33,298 --> 00:14:34,938
- We said "some."
- We'll talk about it.
338
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:36,853
- We said "some."
- We'll talk about it later.
339
00:14:36,854 --> 00:14:37,614
♪ Steal my breath ♪
340
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:40,137
We said "part,"
not "all."
341
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:43,040
♪ And I'll be ♪
342
00:14:43,058 --> 00:14:44,809
♪ your crying shoulder ♪
343
00:14:50,913 --> 00:14:53,047
♪ Fill up and you don't have to pay ♪
344
00:14:53,049 --> 00:14:54,197
♪ bah dah bah ♪
345
00:14:54,199 --> 00:14:56,884
♪ come on and give us a play ♪
346
00:14:56,886 --> 00:14:58,502
♪ get a wash right away ♪
347
00:14:58,504 --> 00:15:00,871
- ♪ car wash, yeah ♪
- Yes!
348
00:15:00,873 --> 00:15:02,840
- Man.
- That's how you do that!
349
00:15:02,842 --> 00:15:05,809
- Whoo!
- Thank you.
350
00:15:05,811 --> 00:15:07,561
Show some pride.
This is crap.
351
00:15:07,563 --> 00:15:10,697
I agree, yes. Crap.
Continue.
352
00:15:10,699 --> 00:15:13,650
Now, folks, by special request,
353
00:15:13,652 --> 00:15:15,753
we're going to take it
a little old school.
354
00:15:15,755 --> 00:15:19,323
There is a former Trebler in this room.
355
00:15:19,325 --> 00:15:20,390
Who?
356
00:15:20,392 --> 00:15:22,392
It's Mr. Andy Bernard!
357
00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:29,917
No, do not sing that.
Do not... man.
358
00:15:29,919 --> 00:15:32,953
He reminded us today
of how much he means to us,
359
00:15:32,955 --> 00:15:35,672
and we certainly
seem to mean a lot to him,
360
00:15:35,674 --> 00:15:38,375
so without any further ado,
here's an old Treble classic.
361
00:15:41,914 --> 00:15:44,080
♪ dank, dank, dank, dank, dank ♪
362
00:15:44,082 --> 00:15:45,933
♪ dig-a, dank, dank, dank ♪
363
00:15:45,935 --> 00:15:47,801
♪ a-well,
I guess it would be nice ♪
364
00:15:47,803 --> 00:15:50,270
♪ if I could touch your body ♪
365
00:15:50,272 --> 00:15:54,942
♪ I know not everybody
has got a body like you ♪
366
00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:57,144
♪ but I gotta think twice ♪
367
00:15:57,146 --> 00:15:58,395
♪ Before I give my heart away ♪
368
00:15:58,397 --> 00:16:00,597
What the hell is Broccoli Rob doing here?
369
00:16:00,599 --> 00:16:01,959
She said you wanted to hear Faith.
370
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,901
That's Broccoli Rob's signature song.
371
00:16:03,903 --> 00:16:06,403
♪ But I need some time off
from that emotion ♪
372
00:16:06,405 --> 00:16:08,271
That's my signature song.
373
00:16:08,273 --> 00:16:10,290
I really didn't know that, man.
374
00:16:10,292 --> 00:16:12,409
I just thought you wanted to hear it.
375
00:16:12,411 --> 00:16:14,411
Russell, I'm dressed like George Michael.
376
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:16,747
I thought you were Adam Lambert.
377
00:16:16,749 --> 00:16:18,165
Wha...
378
00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:20,334
The more I hear about
all this a cappella drama,
379
00:16:20,336 --> 00:16:23,337
the more I think it's kind of pathetic,
380
00:16:23,339 --> 00:16:26,006
but when you're with someone,
you put up with the stuff
381
00:16:26,008 --> 00:16:27,724
that makes you lose respect for them,
382
00:16:27,726 --> 00:16:30,293
and that is love.
383
00:16:30,295 --> 00:16:32,229
Are you okay?
384
00:16:32,231 --> 00:16:33,597
- He's still mad.
- Okay.
385
00:16:33,599 --> 00:16:36,099
Shut up, Broccoli.
386
00:16:36,101 --> 00:16:38,969
Champ, I feel awful
about this whole thing.
387
00:16:38,971 --> 00:16:40,320
Russell called me up,
388
00:16:40,322 --> 00:16:44,191
and they said they needed
20 ccs of George Michael, stat,
389
00:16:44,193 --> 00:16:46,643
so just... wham!
I sprang into action.
390
00:16:46,645 --> 00:16:48,162
You know me.
391
00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:50,664
I assumed you wanted to hear me
do your signature number.
392
00:16:50,666 --> 00:16:52,583
You thought I wanted
to sit in the audience
393
00:16:52,585 --> 00:16:54,034
like some slutty Treb rat?
394
00:16:54,036 --> 00:16:56,503
A man's signature solo is his for life.
395
00:16:56,505 --> 00:16:58,505
Okay? That's group policy
and you know it.
396
00:16:58,507 --> 00:17:01,341
Look, it's not my fault
I still live near campus,
397
00:17:01,343 --> 00:17:03,510
and it's my duty as an alum
398
00:17:03,512 --> 00:17:05,012
to be friendly to the young guys,
399
00:17:05,014 --> 00:17:08,348
and stop in two, three times a week.
400
00:17:08,350 --> 00:17:09,816
Just don't do the song anymore.
401
00:17:09,818 --> 00:17:12,168
I'll tell you what...
We'll have a sing-off for it.
402
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:14,838
You pick 12 alums from any year
to back you up
403
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,557
and I'll do the same,
404
00:17:16,559 --> 00:17:17,975
and I'm so confident that I'll win,
405
00:17:17,977 --> 00:17:19,526
I won't even warm up.
406
00:17:19,528 --> 00:17:21,511
Fine, go ahead, thrash your pipes.
407
00:17:21,513 --> 00:17:23,480
My pipes are primo, Champ!
408
00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:27,201
Why don't you ask
Trey Anastasio about my pipes?
409
00:17:27,203 --> 00:17:29,870
I knew you would go there,
you son of a bitch!
410
00:17:29,872 --> 00:17:33,857
He said, and I quote,
"hey, Rob, nice pipes."
411
00:17:33,859 --> 00:17:35,339
- That happened!
- Okay, fine, yeah,
412
00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:37,060
- that's one guy's opinion.
- That's real!
413
00:17:37,061 --> 00:17:38,341
- That'll never change!
- Okay!
414
00:17:38,342 --> 00:17:41,331
Okay, doesn't mean
you're the best singer ever!
415
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,499
Dick.
416
00:17:42,501 --> 00:17:44,200
I thought that concert was pretty great.
417
00:17:44,202 --> 00:17:48,005
Yeah. I decided
acapelca music is awesome.
418
00:17:48,007 --> 00:17:49,973
They lost me when they sang Monster Mash.
419
00:17:49,975 --> 00:17:52,893
That song obviously glorifies the occult.
420
00:17:52,895 --> 00:17:55,762
Angela, it's Halloween.
You have to sing Monster Mash.
421
00:17:55,764 --> 00:17:58,548
You have to, Jim?
You literally have to?
422
00:18:01,270 --> 00:18:02,719
No, I'm just...
I'm saying,
423
00:18:02,721 --> 00:18:05,155
what would happen if they didn't sing it?
424
00:18:05,157 --> 00:18:08,191
Would they go to jail?
Would they be shot?
425
00:18:08,193 --> 00:18:11,361
Okay.
We'll just forget it.
426
00:18:11,363 --> 00:18:12,863
No, no, I'm interested.
427
00:18:12,865 --> 00:18:14,385
I mean, I think everybody's interested
428
00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,399
in why they have to sing it.
429
00:18:16,401 --> 00:18:18,234
'Cause it is Halloween.
430
00:18:18,236 --> 00:18:19,596
So if you're gonna sing a concert,
431
00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:21,117
it's a good idea to throw that one in.
432
00:18:21,118 --> 00:18:21,878
Yeah, yeah, no, no,
433
00:18:21,879 --> 00:18:23,373
it's a good idea to brush your teeth,
434
00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:26,593
but you have to, feed your children,
435
00:18:26,595 --> 00:18:28,895
send them to school.
436
00:18:28,897 --> 00:18:30,217
You know, all things you can't do
437
00:18:30,218 --> 00:18:32,432
if you just keep singing Monster Mash.
438
00:18:32,434 --> 00:18:38,272
It turns out Pam really,
really hates Monster Mash.
439
00:18:38,274 --> 00:18:42,609
I mean, like, never bring
that song up in front of her.
440
00:18:42,611 --> 00:18:46,596
Even though Jim was making great points,
441
00:18:46,598 --> 00:18:48,398
like, in favor of the song,
442
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:54,104
Pam was like,
"no. Hate it. Stupid."
443
00:18:54,106 --> 00:18:56,907
This is all so silly, right?
444
00:18:58,294 --> 00:18:59,993
What am I gonna do, move back to Cornell?
445
00:18:59,995 --> 00:19:02,296
Yeah.
446
00:19:02,298 --> 00:19:04,665
I mean, what if we did that?
447
00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:07,918
Like, we got jobs
and we were happy all the time?
448
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,337
Well, Andy, we're not moving to Cornell.
449
00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:11,955
Duh, I know.
450
00:19:11,957 --> 00:19:13,840
- That would be insane.
- Yeah.
451
00:19:13,842 --> 00:19:16,176
It could totally work, though.
452
00:19:16,178 --> 00:19:19,479
I don't know why we wouldn't.
453
00:19:19,481 --> 00:19:20,931
My God, are we doing this?
454
00:19:20,933 --> 00:19:24,267
Oy. Andy,
what is going on?
455
00:19:25,653 --> 00:19:30,240
If I am not Boner Champ...
456
00:19:30,242 --> 00:19:31,992
I don't know who I am.
457
00:19:31,994 --> 00:19:35,362
Well, you know,
maybe you're the wise, old guy
458
00:19:35,364 --> 00:19:39,950
that the new,
B-O-N-E-R Champ looks up to.
459
00:19:39,952 --> 00:19:41,317
You know, you could just...
460
00:19:41,319 --> 00:19:42,318
Make a donation.
461
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,504
Well, I was gonna say be a mentor.
462
00:19:44,506 --> 00:19:46,823
Yes.
463
00:19:46,825 --> 00:19:49,543
I'm gonna make a donation.
464
00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:51,461
And it just so happens I know someone
465
00:19:51,463 --> 00:19:53,880
who works at
the Bernard family foundation.
466
00:19:53,882 --> 00:19:56,383
Her name is "mom."
467
00:20:01,856 --> 00:20:03,506
I want some of those pills.
468
00:20:03,508 --> 00:20:05,692
Well, good for you.
469
00:20:05,694 --> 00:20:07,094
I mean, you'll need a prescription.
470
00:20:07,095 --> 00:20:08,945
No. No, no, no,
they're not for me.
471
00:20:08,947 --> 00:20:10,847
They're for my cousin Mose.
472
00:20:10,849 --> 00:20:13,867
He's just having a tough time,
being wifeless
473
00:20:13,869 --> 00:20:17,487
and a high-pressure job
and his crazy cousin Mose.
474
00:20:17,489 --> 00:20:18,739
Other cousin Mose.
475
00:20:18,741 --> 00:20:22,859
Got it.
Well, you tell Mose
476
00:20:22,861 --> 00:20:25,912
that he's a good man
and I hope he feels better.
477
00:20:27,915 --> 00:20:31,885
Which one?
Mose or the real Mose?
478
00:20:31,887 --> 00:20:34,204
The real Mose.
479
00:20:34,206 --> 00:20:36,706
He says thank you.
480
00:20:45,473 --> 00:20:47,441
Mom, I had this really charitable idea
481
00:20:47,443 --> 00:20:50,593
to set up a scholarship
for a cappella kids at Cornell,
482
00:20:50,595 --> 00:20:53,063
and just need to wire
some money over there.
483
00:20:53,065 --> 00:20:54,430
What?
484
00:20:56,434 --> 00:20:59,936
♪ Far above the busy humming ♪
485
00:20:59,938 --> 00:21:02,556
♪ of the bustling town ♪
486
00:21:02,558 --> 00:21:05,775
♪ reared against the arch of
heaven looks she proudly down ♪
487
00:21:05,777 --> 00:21:08,245
What's wrong?
488
00:21:08,247 --> 00:21:11,381
My parents are broke.
489
00:21:11,383 --> 00:21:14,835
♪ Lift the chorus, speed it onward ♪
490
00:21:14,837 --> 00:21:19,455
♪ loud her praises tell ♪
491
00:21:19,457 --> 00:21:23,393
♪ hail to thee, our alma mater ♪
492
00:21:23,395 --> 00:21:27,229
♪ hail, all hail, Cornell ♪
493
00:21:27,230 --> 00:21:29,150
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com