1
00:00:03,928 --> 00:00:06,328
Uh... what else? I've seen
Dirty Dancing like 10 times.
2
00:00:06,329 --> 00:00:08,580
Breaks my heart every time, you know?
3
00:00:08,631 --> 00:00:10,031
- Whoa.
- Andy.
4
00:00:10,049 --> 00:00:12,133
That Swayze sure can dance dirty.
5
00:00:12,168 --> 00:00:13,585
Don't you have any sunblock?
6
00:00:13,636 --> 00:00:15,253
No, Walter J has been hoarding it.
7
00:00:15,304 --> 00:00:16,755
You want to worry
about a part of my body,
8
00:00:16,806 --> 00:00:18,473
worry about my eyes.
9
00:00:18,507 --> 00:00:20,892
They're like two flaming
meatballs in my skull.
10
00:00:20,927 --> 00:00:23,461
Last week Andy set sail for the Bahamas
11
00:00:23,496 --> 00:00:25,146
to sell his family's boat,
12
00:00:25,181 --> 00:00:27,349
and he took his brother but not me.
13
00:00:27,383 --> 00:00:29,184
I was kind of sad at first,
14
00:00:29,218 --> 00:00:31,903
but then I remembered
that Bob Marley song--
15
00:00:31,954 --> 00:00:34,823
No, Woman. No Cry.
16
00:00:34,857 --> 00:00:36,124
Check this out.
17
00:00:36,158 --> 00:00:38,627
Keeps my hair out of my stare,
18
00:00:38,661 --> 00:00:40,462
also helps me combat the glare bear.
19
00:00:40,496 --> 00:00:41,863
That's what I call the sun now.
20
00:00:41,881 --> 00:00:44,799
Andy, it's Darryl. Take
your drawers off your head.
21
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:46,217
What else can I show you?
22
00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:49,971
Oh, damn it!
23
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,873
Oh, Andy, was-- was
that your drinking water?
24
00:00:51,891 --> 00:00:54,509
Yeah, it was. That's okay, though.
25
00:00:54,543 --> 00:00:57,228
I got this cool desalinator device.
26
00:00:57,263 --> 00:00:59,848
It sucks up seawater through this hose
27
00:00:59,882 --> 00:01:01,149
and pumps out freshwater.
28
00:01:01,183 --> 00:01:03,602
See, check it out.
29
00:01:03,653 --> 00:01:04,886
Ow!
30
00:01:04,904 --> 00:01:06,071
- Oh!
- Oh, no.
31
00:01:06,105 --> 00:01:09,057
Ah. That's not good.
32
00:01:09,075 --> 00:01:10,224
I better sign off.
33
00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:11,576
I hate to get going.
34
00:01:11,611 --> 00:01:13,728
I mean, these Skype sessions
are, like, the only thing
35
00:01:13,746 --> 00:01:15,447
that keep me sane out here, you know?
36
00:01:20,169 --> 00:01:22,871
He's been sailing for two days.
37
00:01:22,905 --> 00:01:24,289
I will leave you with this,
38
00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:27,125
the image of a man and his boat.
39
00:01:27,176 --> 00:01:29,127
Burn this into your brains.
40
00:01:29,178 --> 00:01:30,295
Yeah.
41
00:01:30,346 --> 00:01:33,098
No, no. No! No!
42
00:01:33,132 --> 00:01:34,182
- Oh!
- Oh, my God.
43
00:01:34,216 --> 00:01:35,183
Andy?
44
00:01:35,217 --> 00:01:38,252
Andy! Andy!
45
00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:39,938
Andy.
46
00:01:39,972 --> 00:01:40,939
Oh.
47
00:01:52,535 --> 00:01:55,737
Dwight Schrute.
48
00:01:55,771 --> 00:01:57,906
Well, hi, there, David Wallace.
49
00:01:57,940 --> 00:02:01,159
Why would you ever call me
when the manager's out of town?
50
00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:03,111
Well, I have some very exciting news.
51
00:02:03,129 --> 00:02:05,830
And you didn't call Jim.
That seems significant.
52
00:02:05,881 --> 00:02:07,132
- Hey, David.
- Jim, good.
53
00:02:07,166 --> 00:02:09,084
- You should hear this too.
- Uh, no, he shouldn't.
54
00:02:09,118 --> 00:02:10,468
Wha--
Ji--
55
00:02:10,503 --> 00:02:12,120
Go ahead, David. I'm listening.
56
00:02:12,138 --> 00:02:13,922
No-- I-- okay, David, I'm
gonna take you off speaker,
57
00:02:13,956 --> 00:02:16,925
but I don't know where I'd put you.
58
00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:18,810
Guys, listen, this is big news.
59
00:02:18,844 --> 00:02:21,796
The Scranton White Pages just
got in contact with my office.
60
00:02:21,814 --> 00:02:23,515
They have apparently
dropped their supplier
61
00:02:23,566 --> 00:02:25,934
for the last ten years.
62
00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:27,652
The White Pages.
63
00:02:27,687 --> 00:02:29,988
The White Pages. Do you want it? No.
64
00:02:30,022 --> 00:02:31,439
Do you use it? No.
65
00:02:31,473 --> 00:02:32,473
Does it inexplicably show up
66
00:02:32,491 --> 00:02:34,025
on your doorstep three times a year?
67
00:02:34,076 --> 00:02:36,444
Yes, yes, and yes.
68
00:02:36,478 --> 00:02:38,580
There is a reason we
in the paper industry
69
00:02:38,614 --> 00:02:42,500
call this thing "the white whale."
70
00:02:42,535 --> 00:02:45,870
Look at all that sweet blubber.
71
00:02:45,921 --> 00:02:48,957
Look, we need our top
salesman running point on this,
72
00:02:48,991 --> 00:02:50,675
and, Dwight, that is you.
73
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:54,212
I'm gonna need to put
you on hold for a second.
74
00:02:54,263 --> 00:02:56,014
Ha!
75
00:02:56,048 --> 00:02:57,999
Yeah! Whoo!
76
00:02:58,017 --> 00:03:01,770
Eat it, Jim! Eat
it, Phyllis! Eat--
77
00:03:01,804 --> 00:03:04,055
- Where's Stanley?
- He's in the bathroom.
78
00:03:04,106 --> 00:03:05,690
Will you run to the bathroom
and tell him to eat it?
79
00:03:05,725 --> 00:03:07,475
Of course.
80
00:03:07,509 --> 00:03:09,861
Yeah! Okay.
81
00:03:09,895 --> 00:03:11,012
Hey, David. I'm back.
82
00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:12,731
Eat it, Stanley!
83
00:03:12,782 --> 00:03:14,282
So, uh, last I remember,
84
00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:16,367
Tom Peterman was in
charge of that account.
85
00:03:16,402 --> 00:03:18,686
No, my assistant spoke to
the receptionist over there.
86
00:03:18,704 --> 00:03:20,705
It's someone new, but
she didn't catch her name.
87
00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:23,041
"Her" name?
88
00:03:23,075 --> 00:03:25,493
No. Hey, Dwight
shouldn't--
89
00:03:25,527 --> 00:03:27,862
Thanks, David. Thank you so
much for calling me today.
90
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,547
- Good luck.
- Good luck to you.
91
00:03:29,582 --> 00:03:30,915
Dwight, you can't go.
92
00:03:30,966 --> 00:03:33,084
You have a problem with
women. You can't sell to them.
93
00:03:33,135 --> 00:03:36,004
That is a damnable lie. I love women.
94
00:03:36,038 --> 00:03:37,972
Gina Rogers at Apex Technology
95
00:03:38,007 --> 00:03:41,226
said you called her "gy-na"
for your entire meeting.
96
00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:43,377
Ew.
97
00:03:43,395 --> 00:03:44,763
That's not good.
98
00:03:44,814 --> 00:03:47,599
Yeah. She said she
corrected him five times.
99
00:03:47,650 --> 00:03:48,767
Gy-na said that?
100
00:03:48,818 --> 00:03:50,835
Guys, we can't let Dwight blow this.
101
00:03:50,870 --> 00:03:53,354
An account this size
could double our growth.
102
00:03:53,388 --> 00:03:55,240
That means raises, bonuses...
103
00:03:55,274 --> 00:03:58,026
Pizza Friday could come back.
104
00:03:58,060 --> 00:04:00,745
Hey, remember that week in
the '90s when we got bagels?
105
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:02,363
I miss Clinton.
106
00:04:02,397 --> 00:04:03,915
- Can you go instead?
- I can't.
107
00:04:03,949 --> 00:04:06,251
I have the thing.
108
00:04:06,285 --> 00:04:07,919
I have this conference call today
109
00:04:07,953 --> 00:04:10,288
with this company in Philly
that I'm helping start--
110
00:04:10,339 --> 00:04:11,923
first board meeting,
111
00:04:11,957 --> 00:04:14,459
also the first time I've
ever been excited about work,
112
00:04:14,510 --> 00:04:18,463
so that feels... wrong.
113
00:04:18,497 --> 00:04:21,516
Okay, calm down.
114
00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:23,485
It's just me, not Tom Selleck.
115
00:04:24,970 --> 00:04:26,754
Nice.
116
00:04:26,772 --> 00:04:28,422
Toby got us all to
participate in Movember.
117
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,392
It's a charity for prostate cancer.
118
00:04:31,426 --> 00:04:33,194
You pledge money, and
then you grow a mustache
119
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,779
for the month of November.
120
00:04:34,814 --> 00:04:36,865
So this is how we look now.
121
00:04:36,899 --> 00:04:40,068
I hope you like being
turned on all the time.
122
00:04:40,102 --> 00:04:43,271
Damn! It just keeps on coming, huh?
123
00:04:43,289 --> 00:04:45,824
I have very fertile hair glands.
124
00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:50,378
I am so glad I got all of
the dudes to do Movember.
125
00:04:50,412 --> 00:04:53,164
We have the dopest
time back in the annex.
126
00:04:53,215 --> 00:04:54,448
God!
127
00:04:54,466 --> 00:04:57,335
We even go to lunch, pick up babes.
128
00:04:57,386 --> 00:05:01,556
Smile if you love men's prostates.
129
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,459
- Hi.
- Hi.
130
00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,061
Spring cleaning?
131
00:05:07,096 --> 00:05:09,564
More like fall cleaning.
132
00:05:12,101 --> 00:05:16,988
I think the Senator is having an affair.
133
00:05:17,022 --> 00:05:18,472
This
doesn't--
134
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:20,692
I'm sorry.
Wha-- what?
135
00:05:20,743 --> 00:05:23,578
I think the Senator is having an affair.
136
00:05:23,612 --> 00:05:25,496
I literally have nightmares
137
00:05:25,531 --> 00:05:29,367
in which what just happened happens.
138
00:05:29,418 --> 00:05:31,920
I wake up in a sweat.
139
00:05:31,954 --> 00:05:35,707
And then I make Angela's
husband spoon me back to bed.
140
00:05:35,741 --> 00:05:37,491
When he comes home in the morning,
141
00:05:37,509 --> 00:05:39,344
he has this secret little smile.
142
00:05:39,378 --> 00:05:41,662
Oh, I'm...
143
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,431
sure that's nothing.
144
00:05:43,465 --> 00:05:45,666
And he's always at the yoga studio.
145
00:05:45,684 --> 00:05:47,852
He never misses the noon class.
146
00:05:47,887 --> 00:05:49,837
It's hot yoga with Blake.
147
00:05:49,855 --> 00:05:52,440
Angela, Blake's also a guy's name,
148
00:05:52,474 --> 00:05:54,359
so he may be spending his afternoons
149
00:05:54,393 --> 00:05:55,977
with a guy named Blake.
150
00:05:56,011 --> 00:05:59,364
So nothing to worry about.
151
00:05:59,398 --> 00:06:01,532
Huh.
152
00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:03,368
Blake. Who is Blake?
153
00:06:03,402 --> 00:06:05,519
I don't know.
154
00:06:05,537 --> 00:06:07,155
I just never heard about
the Senator and yoga...
155
00:06:07,189 --> 00:06:08,873
- Right.
- ...from you.
156
00:06:08,908 --> 00:06:11,525
I'm sure it's probably nothing.
157
00:06:11,543 --> 00:06:12,877
But what's with the yoga already?
158
00:06:12,912 --> 00:06:14,028
- Right?
- And Blake.
159
00:06:14,046 --> 00:06:15,296
- Right?
- All right, Angela, calm down.
160
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,297
Okay.
161
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,749
We need to go and check this out.
162
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,702
- What?
- Angela, I'll go with you.
163
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,588
So, uh, show us how you'd normally sell
164
00:06:23,639 --> 00:06:25,056
to a female client.
165
00:06:25,090 --> 00:06:26,874
Okay. With pleasure.
166
00:06:26,892 --> 00:06:29,560
Time to learn a few new tricks, old dog.
167
00:06:29,595 --> 00:06:30,878
- You got this, Schrute.
- Okay.
168
00:06:30,896 --> 00:06:33,147
You just walked into her office...
169
00:06:33,182 --> 00:06:34,382
and begin.
170
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,567
- Hello.
- Hello.
171
00:06:36,602 --> 00:06:38,236
May I please speak to your boss?
172
00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:39,771
- No, she is the boss.
- I am?
173
00:06:39,822 --> 00:06:41,773
Yes.
174
00:06:41,824 --> 00:06:43,724
Hi. I'm Mr. Hannon.
175
00:06:43,742 --> 00:06:44,776
How can I help you?
176
00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:46,828
Okay, this isn't working for me,
177
00:06:46,862 --> 00:06:49,580
'cause no one would ever
believe that she would be a boss.
178
00:06:49,615 --> 00:06:51,449
He's absolutely right.
I'm really struggling here.
179
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,284
Oh, I'll be the buyer.
180
00:06:53,335 --> 00:06:54,752
Okay.
181
00:06:55,838 --> 00:06:57,755
Hello, Mr. Schrute. Nice to see you.
182
00:06:57,790 --> 00:06:58,906
Please have a seat.
183
00:06:58,924 --> 00:07:01,409
I never sit down during sales meetings.
184
00:07:01,427 --> 00:07:03,928
I want to appear aggressive, imposing.
185
00:07:03,963 --> 00:07:05,797
I am going to sell to you in 12 minutes.
186
00:07:05,848 --> 00:07:07,581
No, actually, she'd
like to take her time
187
00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:09,250
discussing her needs.
188
00:07:09,268 --> 00:07:12,420
I will tell her what her
needs are and then fill them.
189
00:07:12,438 --> 00:07:14,138
This is gonna work out best for you
190
00:07:14,189 --> 00:07:17,141
if you just relax and do nothing.
191
00:07:17,192 --> 00:07:20,028
And once I'm finished, it's over.
192
00:07:20,062 --> 00:07:23,982
Okay, let's stop here.
Anyone have any thoughts?
193
00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:25,266
I thought it went great.
194
00:07:25,284 --> 00:07:27,535
I have, uh, written
down a few questions.
195
00:07:27,569 --> 00:07:29,620
One. Have you ever killed a woman?
196
00:07:29,655 --> 00:07:31,605
How many women have you killed?
197
00:07:31,623 --> 00:07:33,941
Please, sir, will you not kill me?
198
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:37,196
Okay, let's get started.
199
00:07:37,396 --> 00:07:38,715
Okay, cool. We're all on?
200
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,431
Uh, well, you're the only one on.
201
00:07:40,482 --> 00:07:42,567
We're all here.
202
00:07:42,601 --> 00:07:44,051
Right.
203
00:07:44,069 --> 00:07:46,220
Okay, uh, over the next three months...
204
00:07:46,238 --> 00:07:47,605
- That's the winter
season. - I, uh--
205
00:07:47,656 --> 00:07:48,606
Three months.
206
00:07:48,657 --> 00:07:50,241
I, uh...
207
00:07:50,275 --> 00:07:52,160
I had some ideas, actually.
208
00:07:52,194 --> 00:07:53,727
Are you in your office right now?
209
00:07:53,746 --> 00:07:55,246
Yeah.
210
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,365
Trust me, I'd rather be with you guys.
211
00:07:57,399 --> 00:07:58,916
Okay.
212
00:07:58,951 --> 00:08:01,786
Yeah, it's sounding kind of
spooky-sexy over here, Halpert.
213
00:08:01,837 --> 00:08:02,920
Oh.
214
00:08:02,955 --> 00:08:04,205
Sorry. I-I, uh--
215
00:08:04,239 --> 00:08:05,757
I was saying that you should
probably just call me--
216
00:08:05,791 --> 00:08:07,175
Whoa. That's--
217
00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:08,843
I think there's, uh-- I
think there's been a mistake.
218
00:08:08,877 --> 00:08:11,212
We're trying to reach
Jim Halpert, not Batman.
219
00:08:13,715 --> 00:08:14,932
Um, you know what?
220
00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:16,250
I should've
just had--
221
00:08:16,268 --> 00:08:17,852
I should've just had
you call me on my cell.
222
00:08:17,886 --> 00:08:19,854
I'll-- I'm gonna try
a different spot, okay?
223
00:08:19,888 --> 00:08:22,023
- Okay. Yeah.
- I'll call you right back.
224
00:08:22,057 --> 00:08:24,425
What's happening in three months?
225
00:08:24,443 --> 00:08:26,260
Okay, when you're selling to women,
226
00:08:26,278 --> 00:08:29,197
it is crucial that you listen, Dwight.
227
00:08:29,231 --> 00:08:32,950
Also, you want to respect their...
228
00:08:32,985 --> 00:08:34,786
Are you listening now?
229
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:36,504
Yes.
230
00:08:36,538 --> 00:08:37,771
Okay, well, you have to show us.
231
00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:38,990
That's impossible.
232
00:08:39,041 --> 00:08:41,159
Listening happens in
the ear and in the brain.
233
00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:43,044
I mean, some organisms
have external hairs
234
00:08:43,078 --> 00:08:46,047
that vibrate to indicate
auditory stimulation,
235
00:08:46,081 --> 00:08:49,667
but unfortunately, our external
hairs don't vibrate at all.
236
00:08:49,718 --> 00:08:51,952
Huh. Uh-huh.
237
00:08:51,970 --> 00:08:53,805
What are you doing?
238
00:08:53,839 --> 00:08:57,124
A little smile and a nod
shows that I hear you.
239
00:08:57,142 --> 00:08:59,644
- Got it?
- Kind of.
240
00:08:59,678 --> 00:09:00,928
Nellie, why don't you tell Dwight
241
00:09:00,962 --> 00:09:02,313
what we were doing earlier today,
242
00:09:02,347 --> 00:09:03,981
and, Dwight, you show
us that you're listening.
243
00:09:04,016 --> 00:09:06,434
Well, we were in the warehouse,
244
00:09:06,468 --> 00:09:08,019
where we were discussing the mural
245
00:09:08,070 --> 00:09:09,987
that I've commissioned
Pam to paint there.
246
00:09:10,022 --> 00:09:11,739
We were talking about the color schemes
247
00:09:11,773 --> 00:09:14,408
and the major themes
we want to hit--
248
00:09:14,443 --> 00:09:16,394
children of the world coming together,
249
00:09:16,428 --> 00:09:18,529
cutting down trees to make paper.
250
00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:21,415
But not in a child labor-y way.
251
00:09:21,450 --> 00:09:23,167
It's just up and down...
252
00:09:23,202 --> 00:09:25,002
Just a regular nod, like a person.
253
00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:26,153
I am a person.
254
00:09:26,171 --> 00:09:27,672
- Yes.
- Of course. You're a person.
255
00:09:27,706 --> 00:09:29,373
- Yeah.
- We can do this, all right?
256
00:09:29,424 --> 00:09:31,209
And then we thought we'd...
257
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:33,377
I can't. I just-- I can't
carry on with that face.
258
00:09:33,428 --> 00:09:35,880
Look at it. I'm gonna get
nightmares with that face.
259
00:09:35,931 --> 00:09:37,265
I mean, he looks like he's laboring
260
00:09:37,299 --> 00:09:40,685
over a stool, having
just eaten human flesh.
261
00:09:40,719 --> 00:09:41,969
That's a bit extreme.
262
00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:43,471
I'm s-- I'm sorry,
but that is true.
263
00:09:43,505 --> 00:09:45,523
He's screwed. The meeting's
in less than an hour.
264
00:09:45,557 --> 00:09:46,941
Oh, all right. God, Dwight.
265
00:09:46,975 --> 00:09:48,693
Uh, just ignore every instinct you have.
266
00:09:48,727 --> 00:09:51,229
It's all garbage, okay?
267
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,898
You're the woman. I'm the salesman.
268
00:09:53,949 --> 00:09:56,684
Watch what I do and try to learn.
269
00:09:56,702 --> 00:09:57,685
Okay, I'm the woman.
270
00:09:57,703 --> 00:09:58,686
I'm a woman. Good?
271
00:09:58,704 --> 00:10:00,204
- Okay.
- No.
272
00:10:00,239 --> 00:10:02,707
Miss Thomas, so good to see you.
273
00:10:02,741 --> 00:10:04,375
Hello.
274
00:10:04,409 --> 00:10:06,127
Oh, are those your
kids? They're so cute.
275
00:10:06,161 --> 00:10:07,411
They could be models.
276
00:10:07,462 --> 00:10:09,213
Thank you. I'm so proud of them.
277
00:10:09,248 --> 00:10:11,699
I carried each one of
them for nine months
278
00:10:11,717 --> 00:10:14,552
inside of my torso and then
pushed them out of my vagina.
279
00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:17,338
- Boo. Weird.
- No.
280
00:10:17,372 --> 00:10:19,873
Okay, well, this is a lost cause.
281
00:10:19,892 --> 00:10:21,092
He's hopeless.
282
00:10:21,143 --> 00:10:22,643
Ten years ago, I didn't care
283
00:10:22,678 --> 00:10:26,097
if Dwight got married or
died a beet-farming bachelor.
284
00:10:26,148 --> 00:10:28,716
But having kids makes you so soft.
285
00:10:28,734 --> 00:10:30,518
I used to watch Pulp Fiction and laugh,
286
00:10:30,552 --> 00:10:34,238
and now I'm like, "that poor
gimp is somebody's child."
287
00:10:34,273 --> 00:10:37,491
You know, I think there
could be a lot of benefits
288
00:10:37,526 --> 00:10:39,059
if you could learn to
get along with women.
289
00:10:39,077 --> 00:10:41,028
Look, I have no problem with women.
290
00:10:41,062 --> 00:10:44,365
It's businesswomen and
their-- their power suits
291
00:10:44,399 --> 00:10:46,233
and their shoulder pads.
292
00:10:46,251 --> 00:10:48,002
Don't lie about your shoulders.
293
00:10:48,036 --> 00:10:49,754
Dwight, listen to me.
294
00:10:49,788 --> 00:10:53,925
Businesswomen are just normal,
nice, reasonable people.
295
00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:58,179
Who's a nice, reasonable
person in your experience?
296
00:10:58,213 --> 00:11:01,716
I had a barber once who
used to comb my hair gently.
297
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:04,084
Okay, so, when you're
selling to this woman,
298
00:11:04,102 --> 00:11:07,521
just imagine she's that
nice, reasonable barber.
299
00:11:07,556 --> 00:11:11,058
- Okay, I can do that. -
Mm-hmm. Good. Baby steps.
300
00:11:11,092 --> 00:11:14,362
He used to fight dogs.
301
00:11:14,396 --> 00:11:16,897
Like, he used to make dogs fight,
302
00:11:16,931 --> 00:11:18,699
or he actually fought dogs?
303
00:11:18,734 --> 00:11:23,404
Little of this, little of that.
304
00:11:23,438 --> 00:11:25,456
Which one is the instructor?
305
00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:27,992
They're all fatties.
306
00:11:28,043 --> 00:11:29,327
- Angela, Angela.
307
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:30,444
What? Where?
308
00:11:30,462 --> 00:11:31,445
- Stairs, the stairs.
- Oh, my God.
309
00:11:31,463 --> 00:11:32,997
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
310
00:11:33,048 --> 00:11:34,882
Oh, so wait.
311
00:11:34,916 --> 00:11:36,717
Blake is a her.
312
00:11:36,752 --> 00:11:38,886
Oh, my God.
313
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,671
She's so stunningly tiny.
314
00:11:40,722 --> 00:11:43,791
She's like a petite double
zero for sure, for sure.
315
00:11:43,809 --> 00:11:47,561
Holy cow, look at what they're doing.
316
00:11:47,596 --> 00:11:50,398
She's repositioning his
hips for downward-facing dog.
317
00:11:50,432 --> 00:11:52,817
I've
heard of this--
318
00:11:52,851 --> 00:11:53,901
dog style.
319
00:11:53,935 --> 00:11:56,687
Oh, wait. Oh, look, Oscar.
320
00:11:56,738 --> 00:11:59,407
Thumbelina has a boyfriend.
321
00:11:59,441 --> 00:12:01,525
And he has a ponytail? Ew.
322
00:12:01,576 --> 00:12:03,861
I'd like to see that run for office.
323
00:12:03,912 --> 00:12:05,363
Oscar, you were right.
324
00:12:05,414 --> 00:12:06,914
I had nothing to be worried about.
325
00:12:06,948 --> 00:12:08,666
Thank you. Let's go. Let's go.
326
00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:10,034
- No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Ow.
327
00:12:10,085 --> 00:12:11,535
Shut up. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
328
00:12:11,586 --> 00:12:12,753
Shh. Just--
sorry.
329
00:12:12,788 --> 00:12:15,706
Look.
330
00:12:15,757 --> 00:12:17,825
- Oh.
331
00:12:17,843 --> 00:12:19,993
- This is
fun. - Oh--
332
00:12:20,012 --> 00:12:21,328
- you know?
333
00:12:21,346 --> 00:12:23,664
This is fun.
334
00:12:23,682 --> 00:12:25,999
What I was saying is
the genius of Air Jordan
335
00:12:26,018 --> 00:12:28,335
was not in the market
saturation, it was in--
336
00:12:28,353 --> 00:12:29,887
Uh...
337
00:12:29,938 --> 00:12:31,555
- It was what?
- Sorry, um...
338
00:12:31,606 --> 00:12:33,557
Jim, we're having a lot
of trouble hearing you.
339
00:12:33,608 --> 00:12:36,610
The-- the-- the-- what I was
saying is the real genius was--
340
00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:40,064
Hey! Are those skateboarders back?
341
00:12:40,115 --> 00:12:42,566
- Jim? Jim, are you there?
- Where are they?
342
00:12:42,617 --> 00:12:43,784
- It was, uh...
- Little punks.
343
00:12:43,819 --> 00:12:45,569
It was in the authentic design, right?
344
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,071
So, I mean, you really
felt like Michael Jordan
345
00:12:47,122 --> 00:12:48,522
- was wearing
these shoes-- - Jim!
346
00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:50,458
- Who was messing with my van?
- Nobody!
347
00:12:50,492 --> 00:12:52,860
- Jordan wore them for nobody?
- No, no, no...
348
00:12:52,878 --> 00:12:54,528
We're not following you, Halpert.
349
00:12:54,546 --> 00:12:57,381
This ends now!
350
00:12:57,416 --> 00:13:00,718
Have a seat. Um, she will be right in.
351
00:13:00,752 --> 00:13:02,219
Oh, great. Oh, I'm sorry.
352
00:13:02,254 --> 00:13:06,707
Do you mind telling me her name?
I realized we don't have it.
353
00:13:06,725 --> 00:13:09,310
- Uh, she'll be right in.
- Okay, great.
354
00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:11,479
She--
okay.
355
00:13:11,513 --> 00:13:16,150
Just a little off the top
and then a nice combing.
356
00:13:16,184 --> 00:13:19,770
Yeah. Just comb it.
357
00:13:26,862 --> 00:13:29,780
Oh, my God.
358
00:13:29,831 --> 00:13:32,232
It's Jan.
359
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:35,369
Oh, dear God in heaven.
360
00:13:38,256 --> 00:13:39,840
Jan used to be one of my superiors,
361
00:13:39,875 --> 00:13:41,792
and she is one of the most erratic
362
00:13:41,843 --> 00:13:44,095
and terrifying people I have ever met.
363
00:13:46,247 --> 00:13:47,915
You son of a bitch.
364
00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:49,216
- You're firing me?
- I'm in an interview.
365
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,468
Where the hell do you get off?
366
00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:52,269
Jim and I are pretty
sure she had an affair
367
00:13:52,304 --> 00:13:53,270
with her ex-assistant Hunter.
368
00:13:53,305 --> 00:13:54,722
He was 17.
369
00:13:54,756 --> 00:13:57,608
But she looks great.
370
00:13:57,642 --> 00:13:59,593
If she asks, will you
tell her I said that?
371
00:13:59,611 --> 00:14:03,030
Forget everything we taught you.
372
00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:08,472
Hey, Jan! It's so great to see you!
373
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,024
- Where's Wallace?
- What?
374
00:14:10,075 --> 00:14:12,277
I was under the impression
David Wallace would be coming.
375
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,829
He bought back Dunder Mifflin, correct?
376
00:14:14,864 --> 00:14:16,314
Hey.
377
00:14:16,332 --> 00:14:18,032
Your daughter could
be a bubble-bath model.
378
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:20,969
I could just bite her head off.
379
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,291
Sorry. Um, David is in Vermont.
380
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:28,459
Did you speak with him?
He sent Dwight instead.
381
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,994
Molly!
382
00:14:30,012 --> 00:14:33,464
David Wallace is in Vermont.
383
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:36,217
Oh, my God. Um, I
talked to his assistant.
384
00:14:36,268 --> 00:14:37,886
And I guess it did
get a little confusing
385
00:14:37,937 --> 00:14:39,687
'cause you said not to
tell anyone your name.
386
00:14:39,722 --> 00:14:42,607
And then also, these bluetooths
are very hard to hear with.
387
00:14:42,641 --> 00:14:44,675
I know you love the way they look,
388
00:14:44,693 --> 00:14:46,677
- but Tom never had
us use them-- - Molly.
389
00:14:46,695 --> 00:14:49,030
I am not Tom. I am Jan.
390
00:14:49,064 --> 00:14:52,400
I'm so sorry, Jan.
391
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,704
Anyway...
392
00:14:56,739 --> 00:15:00,358
I thought it would be
fun to have a little chat
393
00:15:00,376 --> 00:15:03,745
with, uh, David Wallace
after all these years.
394
00:15:03,796 --> 00:15:05,880
Oh, well.
395
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,384
What are you doing?
396
00:15:09,418 --> 00:15:10,668
Listening.
397
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,220
- Stop. Stop that.
- Sorry.
398
00:15:12,254 --> 00:15:14,055
Okay.
399
00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:17,091
So this was all just a trick.
400
00:15:17,142 --> 00:15:18,876
You don't really have
any business to give?
401
00:15:18,894 --> 00:15:20,895
No, I-I do.
402
00:15:20,930 --> 00:15:22,213
But not to us.
403
00:15:22,231 --> 00:15:25,400
Insightful, Pam.
404
00:15:25,434 --> 00:15:27,218
You did good, Dwight. It's okay.
405
00:15:27,236 --> 00:15:29,270
Seriously, Jan's not
normal. Let's just go.
406
00:15:29,321 --> 00:15:31,722
She's not gonna sell to us.
407
00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:32,941
Yes, she is.
408
00:15:32,992 --> 00:15:35,777
Now, I may not have any
instincts with women,
409
00:15:35,828 --> 00:15:37,946
but I have an instinct for sales.
410
00:15:37,997 --> 00:15:40,198
You keep her occupied.
I'll be right back.
411
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:41,199
What?
412
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,867
- Pam.
- Yeah.
413
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,453
- I'm a very busy woman, so...
- Yeah, um...
414
00:15:45,504 --> 00:15:48,256
Do you have any other
pictures of Astrid?
415
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:51,793
Fine. I will show you one slideshow.
416
00:15:53,929 --> 00:15:56,464
- Erin, did
this call-- - Uh!
417
00:15:56,515 --> 00:15:58,549
Sorry. I just--
I saw your face.
418
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,552
Oh. I'm sorry. It's for the thing.
419
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,688
I know. That's great. It
just-- it makes it look like
420
00:16:03,722 --> 00:16:05,923
there's an eyebrow in
the middle of your face.
421
00:16:05,941 --> 00:16:07,392
Wow.
422
00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:09,260
A handsome eyebrow, but, um...
423
00:16:09,278 --> 00:16:11,396
It makes your mouth
look like an eye socket,
424
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,431
- which isn't
bad. - Uh-huh.
425
00:16:13,449 --> 00:16:16,818
But, um, you look like
a cyclops whose eye...
426
00:16:16,869 --> 00:16:19,237
fell out...
427
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:20,371
which is great.
428
00:16:20,406 --> 00:16:22,407
It's such a great cause.
429
00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:24,492
Yeah.
430
00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:33,617
♪ Mommy, you're a princess ♪
431
00:16:33,635 --> 00:16:37,455
♪ mommy, you're a superstar ♪
432
00:16:37,473 --> 00:16:40,975
♪ mommy, you're the greatest ♪
433
00:16:41,010 --> 00:16:45,296
♪ how can I ever fill
your sho-o-o-es? ♪
434
00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:49,467
Wow.
435
00:16:49,485 --> 00:16:52,270
Your voice is as lovely as ever.
436
00:16:52,304 --> 00:16:53,654
Aw.
437
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:55,823
And it is so cute how
she signs her name.
438
00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:58,493
Well, that-- that
was-- that was me too.
439
00:16:58,527 --> 00:17:00,028
Oh, okay.
440
00:17:00,079 --> 00:17:02,613
It's just that's how Cece
does it with the backwards Es.
441
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:05,283
- Cece can't spell her name.
- Oh, actually, she can.
442
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:06,984
Well, it's not really much
of a comparison, is it?
443
00:17:07,002 --> 00:17:09,670
I mean, "Cece" is two
letters, and "Astrid" is...
444
00:17:09,705 --> 00:17:13,624
I mean, there's even some adults
who-- who-- who can't spell it.
445
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,711
- Of course.
- Can you spell it?
446
00:17:16,762 --> 00:17:18,012
Try to spell it, Pam.
447
00:17:18,047 --> 00:17:21,799
Um... A...
448
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:25,386
X? I don't--
you got me.
449
00:17:25,437 --> 00:17:27,188
Don't patronize me.
450
00:17:27,222 --> 00:17:28,189
I'm so sorry.
451
00:17:28,223 --> 00:17:29,807
I hate this. You're better.
452
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,342
Okay, we should go now.
453
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:32,777
Let's go.
454
00:17:32,811 --> 00:17:33,844
Just wait.
455
00:17:33,862 --> 00:17:37,365
Just a minute. Just watch.
456
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,487
- Wait. Why
are you--
457
00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:44,739
Oh, are you getting
your jollies right now?
458
00:17:44,790 --> 00:17:47,858
Can't get enough of the show?
459
00:17:47,876 --> 00:17:50,328
- Your jollies are
all on fire-- - Please.
460
00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:51,862
It's Robert who's enjoying it.
461
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,414
What?
462
00:17:53,465 --> 00:17:55,166
This could be the affair
that you're scared of.
463
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,834
Politicians are wonderful liars.
464
00:17:56,868 --> 00:18:00,054
You never know who they really are.
465
00:18:02,424 --> 00:18:05,042
But, uh, he's probably not gay.
466
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:07,895
He's straight. He's straight, so...
467
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,901
Mm. Excuse me. Could
I get some more water?
468
00:18:13,936 --> 00:18:16,020
No.
469
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:17,355
Jan...
470
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:19,524
You thought I had no
more cards left to play.
471
00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:22,560
Well, I've got one. Man-boy!
472
00:18:22,578 --> 00:18:24,395
The ace of babes.
473
00:18:24,413 --> 00:18:25,780
Oh, my God.
474
00:18:25,831 --> 00:18:28,166
Where's the quiznos?
475
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,535
You're the quiznos.
476
00:18:30,569 --> 00:18:32,120
Jan, may I introduce to you
477
00:18:32,171 --> 00:18:35,239
your own personal
Dunder Mifflin liaison,
478
00:18:35,257 --> 00:18:36,874
devoted to servicing this account
479
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:39,877
with total client satisfaction.
480
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:43,431
I sensed that Molly wasn't quite
481
00:18:43,465 --> 00:18:45,349
meeting
your needs--
482
00:18:45,384 --> 00:18:49,637
Nothing like, uh, your old assistant...
483
00:18:49,688 --> 00:18:53,107
Hunter. Was that his name?
484
00:18:53,142 --> 00:18:54,809
- I-I--
- Hmm?
485
00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:55,893
I don't recall.
486
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:58,062
And, yes, Molly is crap.
487
00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:00,231
Okay, you do not have to do this.
488
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,900
Do what? Get into sales?
That's what I want.
489
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:06,988
He's been growing that
mustache for weeks.
490
00:19:07,039 --> 00:19:08,623
Best he can do...
491
00:19:08,657 --> 00:19:12,443
so young.
492
00:19:12,461 --> 00:19:13,961
Will you, uh...
493
00:19:13,996 --> 00:19:15,329
You.
494
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:20,084
Can you turn around for me, please?
495
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,118
Dwight, you can go.
496
00:19:21,136 --> 00:19:22,286
I will call you in a week or so
497
00:19:22,304 --> 00:19:24,305
and let you know whether
I want your business.
498
00:19:24,339 --> 00:19:28,843
Very good.
499
00:19:28,894 --> 00:19:31,929
Do you have a valid passport?
500
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,801
- Jim Halpert.
- Hey, it's Colin.
501
00:19:36,835 --> 00:19:40,121
Hey, man. I am so sorry about that.
502
00:19:40,155 --> 00:19:42,657
- I know. Don't worry about it.
503
00:19:42,691 --> 00:19:45,109
It's just-- it's
not totally working.
504
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,327
Yeah. No, I know.
505
00:19:46,361 --> 00:19:48,979
This whole telecommuting
thing-- not ideal.
506
00:19:48,997 --> 00:19:50,281
But don't worry. I'll figure it out.
507
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,650
Yeah, well, it's not just not ideal.
508
00:19:52,668 --> 00:19:56,671
I mean, with you there, I don't
know how we're gonna do this.
509
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:02,176
Uh, what does--
what does that mean?
510
00:20:02,211 --> 00:20:04,345
Oscar, what is happening here?
511
00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:06,881
Why would you say you think
the Senator might be gay?
512
00:20:06,932 --> 00:20:09,350
I don't know, Angela. I'm dehydrated.
513
00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:10,468
Maybe...
514
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:12,887
you heard me wrong. We should just go.
515
00:20:12,938 --> 00:20:16,607
Look, look, look. Here
he comes. Here he comes.
516
00:20:19,194 --> 00:20:21,529
- What is he doing?
- He's making a phone call.
517
00:20:21,563 --> 00:20:23,514
Oh, oh!
518
00:20:38,261 --> 00:20:39,394
Oh, hey, Molly.
519
00:20:39,429 --> 00:20:40,646
Um, you should just quit.
520
00:20:41,594 --> 00:20:42,561
- Yeah. Thanks.
- Yeah.
521
00:20:42,595 --> 00:20:44,212
Okay.
522
00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:46,714
Oh, and, uh, Molly...
523
00:20:46,732 --> 00:20:49,267
I know it can't be easy working for Jan.
524
00:20:49,318 --> 00:20:51,312
Good luck with your feelings.
525
00:20:53,889 --> 00:20:57,359
Dwight, that was really nice.
526
00:20:57,393 --> 00:20:59,194
You should ask for her number.
527
00:20:59,228 --> 00:21:01,663
Oh, I got her number.
528
00:21:01,697 --> 00:21:03,231
415-YCL.
529
00:21:03,249 --> 00:21:06,401
- That's a license number?
- That's all you need.
530
00:21:06,419 --> 00:21:08,837
And when I have curried favor with her,
531
00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:10,238
I will let you know.
532
00:21:10,256 --> 00:21:12,407
Oh. Why me?
533
00:21:12,425 --> 00:21:16,794
Because you are my friend
and you are a woman...
534
00:21:16,795 --> 00:21:22,010
and women love gossip, it's
like air to you people. Ugh, God.