1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:04,821
To me, the Sixers
are a five seed, tops.

2
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:06,823
I think they're going to
the conference finals.

3
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:10,746
Bynum, obvious monster, three-point
shooting, don't even...

4
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,829
I bit my lip at
lunch today.

5
00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:16,865
Sucks.

6
00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:19,307
Anyway, I just don't see it.
The Knicks are tough.

7
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:21,106
The Nets are tough.

8
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:22,870
The Nets
are super tough.

9
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:26,308
And now I have this big bump
on my lip that hurts!

10
00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:28,301
I hate it.

11
00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:31,222
The Hawks are terrible.

12
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,745
They're always terrible.

13
00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:36,023
Okay, you need to think about
it before you come with the...

14
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,702
Whatever.
It's not a big deal.

15
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,020
You know, I always
tell my three-year-old,

16
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:44,829
if this is the worst thing
that's going to happen...

17
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,550
You got to be
kidding me!

18
00:00:46,620 --> 00:00:50,625
Okay, Pam! That's it!
I'm going home!

19
00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:05,344
Morning, Meredith!

20
00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:07,141
What?

21
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,111
Sorry, Pam.

22
00:01:09,340 --> 00:01:10,341
Yikes.

23
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,351
Jim's been spending a few
days a week in Philly,

24
00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:17,503
and I'm not going to lie,
it's been challenging.

25
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,262
Yesterday, things took
a turn for the worse.

26
00:01:22,340 --> 00:01:24,388
I found out
Cece has lice.

27
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,185
So, I was up all night

28
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:29,867
disinfecting every
sheet, towel, toy,

29
00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:32,784
item of clothing
in the entire house.

30
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,988
I'm exhausted.

31
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,346
But don't tell Jim.

32
00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:38,908
He has a huge
meeting today.

33
00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:41,502
Under a lot of pressure,

34
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,904
and he's doing it
all for the family.

35
00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:48,385
I am meeting Dr. J today,
otherwise known as Julius Erving,

36
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:51,703
famed 76er
and my own personal hero.

37
00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:54,021
But I have to be careful not
to rub it in Pam's face,

38
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,750
because
let's be honest.

39
00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:58,346
How would I feel if I was at
home, stuck with the kids

40
00:01:58,420 --> 00:02:02,220
while she was go-karting
with John Stamos?

41
00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:04,828
You sound tired.
Everything okay?

42
00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:06,749
Great!
Everything's great!

43
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,862
Hey, are you nervous
about your big meeting?

44
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:12,304
Little bit. It's a lot
of pressure, you know?

45
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:14,064
But that's what I
signed up for, right?

46
00:02:14,140 --> 00:02:15,949
Jim, the limo's here.

47
00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:20,786
You know what? I've got to hop
off, because my taxi is here

48
00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:22,100
to take me
to the meeting.

49
00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:23,386
Call me later.
Okay.

50
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:24,461
Good luck!
Thanks.

51
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:26,030
I love you.
Love you, too. Bye.

52
00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:30,589
How you doing?
I'm okay.

53
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:31,946
I mean, it's what
you want, so...

54
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,431
It's how it has to be.

55
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,350
I know, I know.

56
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:36,941
It's just hard.

57
00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:39,227
Me and Val were going nowhere,

58
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:40,984
and if I'm going to
be working in Philly,

59
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,505
I'm going to need my freedom.

60
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,821
So I convinced Val
to break up with me.

61
00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:45,901
Here's how you do it.

62
00:02:45,980 --> 00:02:48,711
You say, "What are you going
to do, break up with me?"

63
00:02:48,780 --> 00:02:49,986
Like, as a joke

64
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:51,983
and then you gain
a lot of weight.

65
00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:54,700
I'll never be sorry.
Not for a moment of it.

66
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:55,986
Me neither.

67
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,307
Hey, Meredith, I need your
supply requests today.

68
00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:05,145
Jesus H. in the morning, will
you stop your nagging already?

69
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:06,500
No wonder Jim left you.

70
00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:08,901
He didn't leave me.
He just went part-time.

71
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,305
Can you just fill out
the form, please?

72
00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:15,427
Yes.

73
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:19,668
I'm sure she's
just confused.

74
00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:22,266
People scratch their heads
when they're confused.

75
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:26,947
Not always like an ape, the way
Meredith just did, but it happens.

76
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:29,101
Hurry up already.

77
00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:30,705
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

78
00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:34,341
Between the foster homes and the
orphanage, I had lice 22 times.

79
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:36,861
Holy wow,
that's a big one.

80
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:39,307
All right, pencils down,
everyone, we've got lice!

81
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:44,471
God, Meredith! Lice? Did you
not sign a pledge to shower?

82
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,107
What? Lice?

83
00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:48,986
Oh, my God.

84
00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,381
Lock the doors,
we are on full quarantine!

85
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:55,146
Dwight, relax! It's just lice.
Maybe. Possibly.

86
00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:57,302
Just lice, Pam?

87
00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:00,631
Of all the vermin in God's
great green kingdom,

88
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:03,067
lice are the ones
I detest the most.

89
00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:06,906
My first day of school, I had lice
and no one would play with me.

90
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,745
For 15 years,
they called me freak,

91
00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:12,664
and four-eyes, and sci-fi
nerd and girl puncher,

92
00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:15,141
all because I had
lice when I was seven.

93
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,748
Make way. No, inspect me.
Dwight!

94
00:04:20,820 --> 00:04:23,664
This is the cleanest scalp I've ever seen.
You are all clear.

95
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:26,141
I should be. I use lice
shampoo every morning.

96
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,504
Hey!
Stop that!

97
00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:29,985
Dwight!

98
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,511
Next.

99
00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:33,947
Geez, Meredith!
This is an office,

100
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,863
it's not one of
your beanbag orgies.

101
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:37,351
Let's give her a break.

102
00:04:37,420 --> 00:04:39,946
We don't know for sure
this is Meredith's fault.

103
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:43,024
Pam, really? Come on.

104
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,421
Well, what do you want?
I know who I am.

105
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:46,865
Nobody's taking
Meredith Palmer

106
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,385
to the opera
to meet the Queen.

107
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:49,746
Lice! More lice.

108
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:51,466
Angela has lice.

109
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:52,707
Ew!

110
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:55,828
Ooh! Yabber. Lice!

111
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:57,425
Yikers, lice.

112
00:04:57,540 --> 00:04:59,065
No!

113
00:04:59,140 --> 00:05:01,268
How? I'm so clean.

114
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:03,149
Yeah, big time lice.
Ah!

115
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:06,542
I wash my hands at least six times a day.
Toilet seat covers?

116
00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:08,110
Yes, thank you,
even when I pee.

117
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:10,421
Apparently none of that
is protection enough,

118
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,389
not when it
comes to Meredith.

119
00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:16,660
Oh!

120
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:18,310
Hey, what are you wearing?

121
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:21,702
It's a hazmat suit. That stands
for hazardous materials...

122
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:24,621
Men's suit wearing.

123
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,431
If you rent more than four times a
year, it just makes sense to buy.

124
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,743
ls there anyone else
here that is lice free?

125
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,982
Excellent! You have
your own hazmat suits?

126
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:36,391
No.
No.

127
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:37,911
Renters.

128
00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:40,062
Okay, I'm going to need you
to gather your belongings,

129
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,142
retreat to the warehouse,

130
00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:43,984
conduct your
business there

131
00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:46,267
until the infected
have been de-loused.

132
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,701
Let's get going. I'm going
to stay here and fight.

133
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:51,067
If you don't hear from
me by lunch, call me.

134
00:05:51,140 --> 00:05:52,585
I might want lunch.

135
00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:54,788
All right, we're going
down to my warehouse.

136
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:57,107
That means we're
playing by my rules.

137
00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:58,831
No messing with the baler.

138
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,743
And be cool in front of me
and Val, we just broke up.

139
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,026
You got dumped?

140
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,431
Yeah, she ended things.

141
00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:05,905
Break-ups
are the worst.

142
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:07,220
The only thing that
got me through mine

143
00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:08,546
was large amounts
of shepherd's pie

144
00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:11,464
and Brandy, the singer,
not the drink.

145
00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:15,986
Here, man. You need
that more than me.

146
00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:17,550
Thanks, man.
Yeah.

147
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:23,941
Guys, I think we should
all ease up on Meredith.

148
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:25,465
This has got to
be hard for her.

149
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:28,749
No, no, no, no. I have not
yet begun to shame.

150
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:31,187
That's it! I'm getting my stuff.
I'm leaving for the day.

151
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,461
No! Stanley!

152
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,065
If you leave now, then
you'll get it in your car

153
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,710
and then you'll
get it in your house!

154
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:36,861
Get off me!

155
00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:38,510
I'm trying to save
you from yourself!

156
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:40,742
All right, I'll stay!

157
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:43,308
There's a pencil
poking into my rolls.

158
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:46,390
PAM". Maybe it was Meredith.

159
00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:49,066
Maybe she brought in lice
that are totally different

160
00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:51,427
than the lice
that I got from Cece.

161
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:55,824
So, let's notjump to the simplest
conclusion that she got her lice from me!

162
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,107
That is how wars
get started.

163
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:01,991
Fine, I'll tell her
it was me.

164
00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,911
Oh, man!
That's fresh squeezed!

165
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:09,426
And are all
the snacks complimentary?

166
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,787
Yeah. Take some home
if you want.

167
00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:13,828
No, that's okay. I'm...

168
00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:24,590
I'm sorry, is this
the conference center?

169
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:27,982
No, Mr. Erving called, said he'd
rather meet you at his private court.

170
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,509
You've got to be kidding me.

171
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:37,231
Hey, Meredith, I need to tell you some...
Yeah, Pam? What do you want?

172
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,348
Oh, my God! Meredith.
What are you doing?

173
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:41,149
Baking a cake. What does
it look like I'm doing?

174
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,904
Getting rid of the lice.
Stop!

175
00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:44,027
I'm so sorry!

176
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,147
Can you hold that thought?

177
00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:46,870
That's my wax.
You know, I think

178
00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,590
these critters
migrated from down south.

179
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:51,541
What were you saying?

180
00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:53,546
Nothing.

181
00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:57,591
I'm going to tell her. But
now is clearly not the time.

182
00:07:57,660 --> 00:08:01,426
I will buy her a wig,
we'll have a few laughs.

183
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,787
There's a right
way to do this.

184
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:10,587
Scalp leeches. Skull vampires.
Follicle gypsies.

185
00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:12,150
Hair lawyers.

186
00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:14,587
One thing is clear,
it's kill or be killed!

187
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:18,551
No, no, no. It's more of a nuisance,
really. It's not that big a deal.

188
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,224
So, I've collected your
hats and your coats...

189
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,301
To be burned!

190
00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:22,467
To be washed.

191
00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:23,985
What do we do
about our heads'?

192
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:26,711
I'm not going
to lie. Lye!

193
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:28,942
No. All we need
is mayonnaise.

194
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,226
Excuse me?

195
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,580
She's right, it works.

196
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,551
I would imagine.

197
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:36,146
Yes, it helps to suffocate
the little buddies.

198
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:38,143
And it's a really
healthy alternative to

199
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,268
the chemicals found
in most lice shampoos.

200
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:41,671
I can appreciate that.

201
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:44,425
I also only eat local,
organic produce.

202
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:47,781
Sha-boom!

203
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,265
How you like me now?

204
00:08:50,980 --> 00:08:52,505
Take a picture,
it'll last longer.

205
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:55,060
We don't want it to
last longer. It's horrible.

206
00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:56,665
Bald people make me sick.

207
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:59,021
Yeah, yeah, everybody
pile on Meredith.

208
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:02,229
But I'm the only one with the balls
to show them lice who's boss.

209
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:05,706
Okay, nobody panic!

210
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,430
If everybody just follows
my instructions,

211
00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:09,270
then nobody else
needs to end up bald.

212
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:13,421
Not that it looks bad, Meredith!
It looks... It looks awesome!

213
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:16,586
You look like a baby who
suddenly aged 50 years.

214
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:18,230
A cute baby!

215
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,308
But something sucked
the life force out of it.

216
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:22,542
I'm so sorry. We need mayonnaise.
We need it now.

217
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:26,261
I'll go.
It's not a big deal.

218
00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:28,263
Please. No, Meredith,
can I get you

219
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,269
something special
while I'm at the store?

220
00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:33,423
Candy, or one of
those stylish turbans?

221
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,822
Thanks, Pam. I'll take a pack of
Nicorette gum and a pack of Kools.

222
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:38,306
Okay-

223
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,389
Let's talk pubes, people.

224
00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:45,865
Hey, Darryl.

225
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:47,146
Hey, Val.

226
00:09:52,740 --> 00:09:54,026
That was tragic.

227
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:57,824
That was like a car crash,
I couldn't look away.

228
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,506
You two still clearly have
feelings for each other.

229
00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:01,581
Yeah.

230
00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,628
What's going to make you
feel better, big guy?

231
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,909
When I was a kid, my grandmother
used to make me chocolate cake

232
00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:08,425
when I wasn't feeling good.

233
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,389
She's not around
to do that anymore.

234
00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:14,704
I'm sorry, I just need a moment
to myself to clear my head.

235
00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:19,825
Poor Darryl. I can't bear to
see him suffer like this.

236
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:23,222
I think he needs
some hugs

237
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:25,348
and maybe some
chocolate cake.

238
00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:29,502
This won't help him,
it's a muffin. Not cake.

239
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,941
Listen, let's try to get Darryl
the one thing in the world

240
00:10:32,020 --> 00:10:34,466
he clearly wants
and needs the most.

241
00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:35,951
An Escalade.

242
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,189
Or, what's-her-name?

243
00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,141
Val.

244
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,029
Let's get Darryl Val.

245
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:45,069
I hope you don't mind me
bringing you out here.

246
00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:46,864
I can't get my knees
under a desk.

247
00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:49,466
Are you kidding me? I could
literally scalp tickets to this.

248
00:10:49,540 --> 00:10:51,224
Well, you think you
can sink one from deep?

249
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,426
Listen, I don't
mean to intimidate you,

250
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:56,468
but I did play
a little high school ball.

251
00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:57,746
Okay-

252
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:01,501
Wow!

253
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,782
Halpert's got game!

254
00:11:03,860 --> 00:11:05,100
All right. Sorry.

255
00:11:05,820 --> 00:11:08,471
I'm so sorry, this is my wife.
Can I take this?

256
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,429
If it's your wife,
you better take it.

257
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,581
Right?

258
00:11:13,820 --> 00:11:16,266
Hey, what's up?
Everything okay?

259
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:17,910
Oh, no,
everything's great!

260
00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:20,661
I was just calling to see
how the meeting went.

261
00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:23,141
It's still happening
right now, actually. So...

262
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:25,302
He's really making
you work for it, huh?

263
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:29,510
Yes, it is very stressful. Are
you sure everything's okay?

264
00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:31,947
Great. lam killing it
over here.

265
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,709
Jim, I've got to go.
Okay, bye.

266
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:38,507
So sorry about that.

267
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:40,742
No problem. Hey, Jim, what
size do you wear, man?

268
00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:43,625
I got a pair of Japanese Nikes
with your name on them.

269
00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:45,510
What do you think?
I love it!

270
00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:49,346
Once it's all over your head, just
leave it there for four hours.

271
00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:52,469
That will be enough time
for the lice to fall asleep,

272
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,344
suffocate and then
pass away.

273
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:56,221
Sure.

274
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:59,110
And when you're
ready to get serious,

275
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:02,030
come to me to
get it done right.

276
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,341
Put those away
before you hurt yourself.

277
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,748
Oh, God! No.

278
00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:13,311
No! No!

279
00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:17,103
No! No! No!

280
00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:20,582
No! No!

281
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:23,664
Okay, it's easier with a
buddy, so everybody pair up.

282
00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:26,381
Oscar, you want
to be my partner?

283
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,187
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
I love to.

284
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:34,224
Hey, mayo buddy, $5 tip if
you unclog my ears. Okay?

285
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,667
Oh...

286
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:39,222
Creed, I'm so sorry. I'm already
partners with Pete. Right, Pete?

287
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:43,061
Uh... Yeah. We promised each other
if we ever got lice, we'd buddy up,

288
00:12:43,140 --> 00:12:44,585
so, sorry, man.

289
00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,145
Hey, Creed. You want
to be my buddy?

290
00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:52,827
Oh, God.
Stuck with the weirdo.

291
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:02,549
Angela! You don't
want bugs, you know?

292
00:13:02,620 --> 00:13:05,908
Who knows where
those bugs will end up?

293
00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:09,020
You're getting a bargain.
I ain't got no hair no more.

294
00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:12,591
Creed.

295
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,944
I'm all done. My turn.

296
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:18,785
I'm sorry, Pam.
It looks a little messy.

297
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:20,827
Wait.

298
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:25,581
How's that?

299
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:26,906
I feel it working.

300
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:32,506
Eiffel Tower!

301
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:37,701
Can I help you?

302
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:41,751
Well, we don't want to pry, but we
heard you broke up with Darryl.

303
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,060
Yeah, that's true.

304
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:44,983
We think you made
a big, big mistake.

305
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:46,061
Big mistake.

306
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:47,221
Quite enormous.

307
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,463
He's a real catch and you
should take him back.

308
00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:53,305
Okay, thank you.
Is that all?

309
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:55,667
No. No, that is not all!

310
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:57,947
Let me tell you
what real life is like.

311
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:00,302
The men dry up
and the nights get lonely.

312
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:03,270
The only calls on your machine
are from collection agencies

313
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,991
about that pair of motorcycle
boots you've never even worn.

314
00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:08,870
You stalk your old high-school
boyfriend online,

315
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,625
go to his daughter's soccer
games and make a scene.

316
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:13,941
You buy a diamond ring
for yourself,

317
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,388
wear it on your right hand and
tell yourself you're all you need.

318
00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:22,751
One day you're alone, tired,
at your feet, a dying bird.

319
00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:25,581
Where did it come from?
Why did you kill it?

320
00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:29,665
Is it because, in some
strange way, it is you?

321
00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:32,027
Thank you all
for your concern,

322
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,421
but I'm going to have to
ask you toleave, okay?

323
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,991
So does this mean you're
going to take Darryl back?

324
00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:43,061
No.

325
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:47,270
Well, then, what would you say
to you and me hitting the town,

326
00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:52,343
because I'm free
literally forever.

327
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,346
Yeah, Kevin asked me out.

328
00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:57,708
I was kind of feeling good about
re-entering the dating pool,

329
00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:59,430
and then Kevin
asked me out.

330
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,946
Thought I might trade up
to a new level of man.

331
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:03,990
Then Kevin asked me out.

332
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:17,141
Hello?

333
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,221
Hi, honey, it's Mom.

334
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:21,861
Look, Gene's school just called.
She still has lice!

335
00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:23,749
What, no. That can't...
I don't...

336
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:26,061
Don't worry, don't worry,
I'm on my way to pick her up.

337
00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:29,940
But you might have lice, too. Lice
can be tricky. Sometimes lice...

338
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,465
Oh, my God.

339
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:37,348
Shave her head!

340
00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:43,149
You guys, I'm so sorry.

341
00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,222
It's just been so chaotic
with Jim gone that I...

342
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:46,984
Yeah, yeah.
Princess Fancy Pants,

343
00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:49,950
letting Jane Twelve Pack
over here take the fall.

344
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:51,226
She's right, Pam.

345
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,587
ls there a volume knob
on that thing?

346
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,867
Yes, there's a volume knob
on that thing!

347
00:15:57,700 --> 00:16:01,421
Meredith,
I am so sorry.

348
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,583
Well, a lot of good your sorries
are doing her now, Pam.

349
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:06,230
She's a monster.

350
00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:10,541
I meant to say something
earlier, I just...

351
00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:12,224
Just, just what?

352
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:14,586
Just forgot?

353
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:18,110
Who's the one that didn't
bring lice into the office?

354
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:19,790
Meredith.

355
00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,589
Sure I gave everybody
pink eye once,

356
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:23,464
and my ex keyed
a few of their cars.

357
00:16:23,540 --> 00:16:26,862
And yeah, I BM'ed in the
shredder on New Year's.

358
00:16:26,940 --> 00:16:31,468
But I didn't bring the lice in.
That was all Pam.

359
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:34,061
Attention,
people of the office.

360
00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:38,225
You have exactly 60 seconds
to evacuate the bullpen.

361
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:39,506
At that time

362
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:44,306
I will be tossing this
powerful insecticidal grenade,

363
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:48,305
which contains piperonyl
butoxide, as well as...

364
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:52,025
Dwight? Are you okay?

365
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,341
Whoa...

366
00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:59,068
That butoxide has a mild
hallucinogenic effect,

367
00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:00,744
but I don't think
it's kicked in yet.

368
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:02,550
I'm going to
count down from 10.

369
00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:05,745
Nine, yellow,

370
00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:10,426
cold, sad, purple...

371
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:14,900
Wow. He got to purple.

372
00:17:16,820 --> 00:17:17,821
Ow!

373
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:19,869
Sorry.

374
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,470
You're waterboarding me!

375
00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:25,621
Oops.

376
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:38,311
No, this is fine.
We're allowed to do this.

377
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,790
This is okay.

378
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,021
Okay, you're up!

379
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:48,541
Yeah, I'm actually kind of
sad to see this baby go.

380
00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:51,386
You do kind of
look like Elvis.

381
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:53,622
But we should probably wash
all the dead lice out.

382
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,029
Okay. Okay

383
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:02,147
Okay-

384
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:07,501
Is that too cold?

385
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,907
No, actually,
it feels kind of nice.

386
00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:22,903
I wonder what
happened over there.

387
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,988
I've been sitting
here the whole time.

388
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:32,984
Oka.
Huh?

389
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,381
Let's give it a shot.
Let's make it work.

390
00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,781
Oh, no. I mean,
I want to, I just,

391
00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:40,791
I don't want to force you into doing
something you don't want to do.

392
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:44,262
You're not.
I believe in us.

393
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:51,020
I'm back together
with Val.

394
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:53,785
Yay.

395
00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:00,462
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

396
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,871
Had a pretty
good day today.

397
00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:05,387
Not everything went exactly
according to plan.

398
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:11,270
But lice, if you're watching, I'm
ready for you anytime, anywhere.

399
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:19,546
Hey, Erin
already take off?

400
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,465
I guess so.

401
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,106
Okay-

402
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,990
And you're Kareem,
coming to help.

403
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,545
Okay, I'm Kareem.

404
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:32,469
That makes total sense.
I'm Kareem, you're Dr. J.

405
00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:34,025
Just sounds weird
to say out loud.

406
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:35,784
And it went
like this.

407
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,865
And that's all.
That's it.

408
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:43,346
No one will believe this back home,
but that's okay.

409
00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:44,666
That's all right. Let me
show you how to do it.

410
00:19:44,740 --> 00:19:46,105
Yeah, you show
me how to do it.

411
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:47,785
This is Jim Halpert,
leave a message.

412
00:19:48,940 --> 00:19:51,022
Hey, honey. It's me,

413
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:53,620
just trying to catch you
before going home.

414
00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:54,741
Um...

415
00:19:55,580 --> 00:19:57,423
Well. Just give
me a call whenever.

416
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,423
Hope your day got
better. Love you.

417
00:20:02,180 --> 00:20:04,581
Hey. What are you
doing right now?

418
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:06,545
I'm just going
to go home.

419
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:09,271
My mom's been watching
the kids all day.

420
00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:11,911
Let her stay another hour.
Let's go get a beer.

421
00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:15,541
Really? A beer sounds
incredible right now.

422
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:18,305
No duh. Let's go,
you're buying.

423
00:20:21,860 --> 00:20:23,544
Meredith, I am so
sorry about today.

424
00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,031
Forget about it.

425
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,829
I just did not
realize how hard

426
00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:28,704
it was going to
be without Jim.

427
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:33,028
I mean, I really respect you for
being a single morn all these years.

428
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:34,949
It whipped my ass
in half a week.

429
00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:37,465
I have to say, there are
not a lot of people

430
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:39,070
who could pull
off a shaved head,

431
00:20:39,140 --> 00:20:40,301
but you are rocking it.

432
00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:41,621
Right?

433
00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:44,301
I got the bartender's phone
number when you were in the john.

434
00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:47,941
I'm going to take that freak to
bone-town before the night is over.

435
00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,030
Get it, girl.

436
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:58,144
This one is for all
you ladies out there!

437
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:02,144
I come...
Not yet.

438
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:07,510
I come home
in the morning light

439
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:12,222
My mother says, "When you going
to live your life right?"

440
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:15,703
Oh, Mother dear,
we're not the fortunate ones

441
00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:19,349
And girls,
they want to have fun

442
00:21:19,420 --> 00:21:23,505
Oh, girls just
want to have fun