1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:05,634 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,087 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 3 00:00:36,849 --> 00:00:38,516 I'm taking some time off from work-- 4 00:00:38,551 --> 00:00:40,218 well, my other work-- 5 00:00:40,269 --> 00:00:44,806 because we needed it. 6 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,057 It's great. 7 00:00:46,108 --> 00:00:48,126 It's great. 8 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,045 The phone's been ringing off the hook. 9 00:00:50,079 --> 00:00:51,846 The guys in Philly are kind of going nuts. 10 00:00:51,864 --> 00:00:54,199 But that doesn't matter. 11 00:00:54,233 --> 00:00:56,968 This does. 12 00:00:57,002 --> 00:00:59,738 It's the only thing that matters. 13 00:00:59,789 --> 00:01:01,373 We've had some really nice days together. 14 00:01:01,407 --> 00:01:03,158 Mm-hmm. 15 00:01:03,192 --> 00:01:04,159 Nice morning, too. 16 00:01:04,193 --> 00:01:08,129 Beesly. Oh, my God. 17 00:01:10,132 --> 00:01:11,365 Hey. 18 00:01:11,384 --> 00:01:14,586 Which tie makes me look like a guy who likes sofas? 19 00:01:14,637 --> 00:01:16,554 My agent's putting me up for a furniture commercial. 20 00:01:16,589 --> 00:01:19,224 Ah. Definitely blue. 21 00:01:19,258 --> 00:01:22,927 Totally, right? 22 00:01:22,978 --> 00:01:26,181 So, big tuna, what's up? Back in the small pond? 23 00:01:26,215 --> 00:01:27,899 For now, yeah, yeah. 24 00:01:27,933 --> 00:01:30,018 I was just spreading myself way too thin-- 25 00:01:30,052 --> 00:01:31,986 Thin-sliced tuna. Carpaccio. 26 00:01:32,021 --> 00:01:33,154 Go on. 27 00:01:33,189 --> 00:01:35,190 Uh, well, it took me a while. 28 00:01:35,224 --> 00:01:38,443 But I finally realized that I can't give 100% 29 00:01:38,494 --> 00:01:40,228 to two things at once, you know? 30 00:01:40,246 --> 00:01:42,580 Yeah. Tell me about it. 31 00:01:42,615 --> 00:01:45,617 I've been trying to act and manage this branch. 32 00:01:45,668 --> 00:01:46,751 Half the time, I don't know if I'm wearing 33 00:01:46,786 --> 00:01:49,704 my stage makeup or my work makeup. 34 00:01:49,738 --> 00:01:50,872 Huh. 35 00:01:50,906 --> 00:01:52,240 Well, you know, you can't have everything, 36 00:01:52,258 --> 00:01:54,759 so you gotta ask yourself what makes you the happiest. 37 00:01:54,794 --> 00:01:57,462 You just go all in for what's most important. 38 00:01:57,513 --> 00:02:00,515 That's my new thing. 39 00:02:13,479 --> 00:02:15,363 Is everything okay? 40 00:02:15,397 --> 00:02:18,483 No. Everything is not okay. 41 00:02:20,486 --> 00:02:21,903 The county took my cats. 42 00:02:21,937 --> 00:02:23,288 Wait, all of them? 43 00:02:23,322 --> 00:02:25,740 Two sacks' worth. 44 00:02:25,774 --> 00:02:29,043 Apparently, my apartment complex has rules 45 00:02:29,078 --> 00:02:33,298 about how many pets are too many for a studio. 46 00:02:33,332 --> 00:02:37,285 And while I was out picking Philip up 47 00:02:37,303 --> 00:02:40,054 from daycare, they came. 48 00:02:40,089 --> 00:02:42,790 They came into my house. 49 00:02:42,808 --> 00:02:45,126 That's-- that's awful, Angela. I'm so sorry. 50 00:02:45,144 --> 00:02:47,896 It's the bitch that lives downstairs. 51 00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:50,398 She's this uptight, judgmental shrew. 52 00:02:50,432 --> 00:02:52,133 You know the type. 53 00:02:52,151 --> 00:02:56,971 I've never met anyone like that. 54 00:02:56,989 --> 00:02:59,473 And they're gone. 55 00:02:59,492 --> 00:03:03,194 And I have no one left. 56 00:03:03,245 --> 00:03:08,249 Without my cats, I am utterly and completely alone. 57 00:03:10,586 --> 00:03:12,003 Angela, you still have your son. 58 00:03:12,037 --> 00:03:14,839 [Scoffs] I guess. 59 00:03:14,874 --> 00:03:17,876 Attention, everyone. May I have your attention? 60 00:03:17,927 --> 00:03:22,663 There are four new deadly weapons in this office. 61 00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:24,849 Basher, thrasher, crasher, and-- 62 00:03:24,884 --> 00:03:25,934 Smasher. 63 00:03:25,968 --> 00:03:28,019 "Smasher"? No. Where'd you get that? 64 00:03:28,053 --> 00:03:29,020 Fireball. 65 00:03:29,054 --> 00:03:31,672 Cut! 66 00:03:31,690 --> 00:03:34,058 This morning, after hours of combat 67 00:03:34,109 --> 00:03:35,443 with some of the city's best teenagers, 68 00:03:35,477 --> 00:03:39,113 I earned my black belt in goju ryu martial arts. 69 00:03:39,148 --> 00:03:40,681 I had to find a new dojo 70 00:03:40,699 --> 00:03:42,717 after Sensei Ira and I parted ways. 71 00:03:42,751 --> 00:03:44,402 My new sensei, Sensei Billy, 72 00:03:44,453 --> 00:03:46,204 thought I had more than enough training 73 00:03:46,238 --> 00:03:47,372 to take the test. 74 00:03:47,406 --> 00:03:51,125 Turns out Sensei Ira was a bit of a shyster. 75 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,461 Sensei Billy says most students 76 00:03:53,495 --> 00:03:56,180 don't spend $150,000 over 20 years 77 00:03:56,215 --> 00:03:57,298 to get their black belt. 78 00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:59,467 I would like to invite you all 79 00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:00,885 to my black belt ceremony, 80 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,038 right here in the office at lunch, 81 00:04:04,056 --> 00:04:08,226 lunch not provided. 82 00:04:11,814 --> 00:04:15,600 - Fireball! - Ahh! 83 00:04:15,651 --> 00:04:17,652 That's how it's done. 84 00:04:17,686 --> 00:04:19,904 That's pretty good. I feel safe. 85 00:04:27,446 --> 00:04:29,614 [Whispering] Hey, Erin. Is Andy in? 86 00:04:31,733 --> 00:04:33,451 Oh, is Andy in? 87 00:04:33,502 --> 00:04:35,587 Sorry, I-I thought you said "is Indian?" 88 00:04:35,621 --> 00:04:37,755 And I was like, "is Indian what?" 89 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:39,090 [Chuckles] 90 00:04:39,124 --> 00:04:40,925 Is Indian food good? 91 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,844 Is Indian jewelry pretty? 92 00:04:42,878 --> 00:04:44,912 Is Indian hair an expensive kind of wig? 93 00:04:44,930 --> 00:04:46,798 Yes to all three, by the way. 94 00:04:46,849 --> 00:04:49,250 Lately, I've been having a lot of trouble 95 00:04:49,268 --> 00:04:50,802 keeping track of Andy's calendar. 96 00:04:50,853 --> 00:04:53,605 His student film audition schedule is crazy hectic. 97 00:04:53,639 --> 00:04:55,023 Yes. There's Andy. 98 00:04:55,057 --> 00:04:56,307 Andy is in. I'm a good receptionist. 99 00:04:56,358 --> 00:04:57,475 I know he's in. 100 00:04:57,526 --> 00:05:00,278 David Walrus in his native habitat. 101 00:05:00,312 --> 00:05:01,762 [Laughs uncomfortably] Hey, Andy. 102 00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:02,897 Can we go in your office and talk? 103 00:05:02,931 --> 00:05:04,365 Yeah. 104 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,484 This isn't gonna be an easy conversation. 105 00:05:06,535 --> 00:05:08,436 I told Andy that he was on very thin ice 106 00:05:08,454 --> 00:05:10,989 when he snuck away for three months to the Caribbean. 107 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,291 Then last week, he used company money 108 00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:15,443 to buy a top-of-the-line photo printer. 109 00:05:15,461 --> 00:05:18,963 In his words, "the kind that's good for head shots." 110 00:05:18,998 --> 00:05:22,667 And yesterday, he asked me to pay for cheek implants. 111 00:05:22,718 --> 00:05:24,335 Claimed it's going to boost office morale. 112 00:05:24,386 --> 00:05:25,970 Now, he's a good guy. 113 00:05:26,005 --> 00:05:28,923 But honestly, at a certain point, 114 00:05:28,957 --> 00:05:30,791 the ice gets too thin, 115 00:05:30,809 --> 00:05:33,961 and you fall through. 116 00:05:33,979 --> 00:05:35,430 And that is when you get fired. 117 00:05:37,711 --> 00:05:40,629 - Andy. - I'm gonna stop you right there. 118 00:05:40,663 --> 00:05:43,448 David, this documentary is going to air in two weeks. 119 00:05:43,466 --> 00:05:45,600 I feel like it's a once in a lifetime opportunity 120 00:05:45,635 --> 00:05:46,951 to pursue my dream. 121 00:05:46,969 --> 00:05:48,420 Uh-huh. But-- 122 00:05:48,454 --> 00:05:51,139 Every minute that I spend here 123 00:05:51,174 --> 00:05:53,658 is time not spent making audition videos 124 00:05:53,693 --> 00:05:57,179 for reality dating, cooking, or singing shows. 125 00:05:57,230 --> 00:05:59,097 I got a real shot here. 126 00:05:59,131 --> 00:06:02,350 And I'll never be able to forgive myself 127 00:06:02,402 --> 00:06:03,902 if I blew it because I was too focused 128 00:06:03,936 --> 00:06:05,687 on my stupid paper company job. 129 00:06:05,738 --> 00:06:07,022 No offense. 130 00:06:07,073 --> 00:06:09,474 So you think you've been too focused on your job? 131 00:06:09,509 --> 00:06:11,326 At my last head shot sitting, 132 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,327 I was so distracted 133 00:06:12,361 --> 00:06:14,112 wondering what I was missing at work 134 00:06:14,147 --> 00:06:15,814 that I came across totally manic. 135 00:06:15,832 --> 00:06:18,533 And I was going for zany. 136 00:06:18,584 --> 00:06:20,652 [Chuckles] 137 00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:22,671 So you-- you want to quit Dunder Mifflin 138 00:06:22,705 --> 00:06:23,672 to pursue acting? 139 00:06:23,706 --> 00:06:26,374 Well, no, actually. 140 00:06:26,426 --> 00:06:30,495 I see no reason to limit myself to just acting. 141 00:06:30,513 --> 00:06:33,548 I am pursuing fame of any kind. 142 00:06:33,599 --> 00:06:36,268 Could be singing. Could be dancing. 143 00:06:36,302 --> 00:06:37,686 I don't-- it just-- 144 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,506 I owe it to myself and my future fans. 145 00:06:41,524 --> 00:06:44,443 Uh, well, I guess I can't stand 146 00:06:44,477 --> 00:06:47,612 in the way of a man's dream. 147 00:06:47,647 --> 00:06:49,648 And it seems like you have the gift. 148 00:06:52,752 --> 00:06:54,486 Thank you, David. 149 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,037 There's probably no way I can talk you 150 00:06:56,072 --> 00:06:57,489 into staying at this point, huh? 151 00:06:57,523 --> 00:07:00,041 Nope. I have made up my mind. 152 00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:01,159 I'm really sorry. 153 00:07:01,193 --> 00:07:02,627 Well, good luck. 154 00:07:02,662 --> 00:07:04,546 Hey, thank you. 155 00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:05,547 Not gonna need it. 156 00:07:05,581 --> 00:07:09,551 - Okay. - [Chuckles] 157 00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,722 [Exhales] 158 00:07:13,756 --> 00:07:14,723 [Laughs] 159 00:07:14,757 --> 00:07:17,275 Well, that kind of worked out. 160 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:20,295 I think just about anybody could be a star. 161 00:07:20,329 --> 00:07:22,464 My postman, the night janitor here-- 162 00:07:22,498 --> 00:07:25,150 but Andy? No, definitely not. 163 00:07:25,184 --> 00:07:26,735 Charisma black hole. 164 00:07:31,574 --> 00:07:34,109 Oh. Clark. 165 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,895 I'm actually here today. Surprise. 166 00:07:36,913 --> 00:07:39,331 So I was wondering if maybe I could have my desk back. 167 00:07:39,365 --> 00:07:40,699 Right. Yeah. 168 00:07:40,733 --> 00:07:42,918 But, you know, I've actually been working 169 00:07:42,952 --> 00:07:44,736 pretty hard here on a daily basis. 170 00:07:44,754 --> 00:07:47,071 So I kind of feel like I've earned this. 171 00:07:47,089 --> 00:07:48,239 - I mean, you know? - You totally have. 172 00:07:48,257 --> 00:07:49,274 You have earned it. 173 00:07:49,308 --> 00:07:52,410 But maybe I could be with my wife. 174 00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:53,712 It's kind of the whole reason why I'm here. 175 00:07:53,746 --> 00:07:54,963 Right. 176 00:07:55,014 --> 00:07:56,631 Well, I'm here to sell paper. 177 00:07:56,682 --> 00:07:58,216 [Knocks on desk] 178 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,252 - Burn. - Wow. 179 00:08:03,556 --> 00:08:06,525 All right, Jim, look. I just got made junior salesman. 180 00:08:06,559 --> 00:08:08,310 Right? And-- and Wallace is here today. 181 00:08:08,361 --> 00:08:09,861 And I don't want him to just think of me 182 00:08:09,896 --> 00:08:13,281 as a customer service rep that sits in the annex. 183 00:08:13,316 --> 00:08:14,316 I mean, you can get that, right? 184 00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:15,600 Right? 185 00:08:15,618 --> 00:08:17,986 And what do you need more face time with Wallace for? 186 00:08:18,037 --> 00:08:23,074 You trying to get a-- a second second job here? 187 00:08:23,108 --> 00:08:24,075 It's okay. 188 00:08:24,109 --> 00:08:25,443 You can sit in the annex. 189 00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:29,113 - What? - I'll come visit you. 190 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,385 Okay. 191 00:08:33,419 --> 00:08:35,053 The annex it is. 192 00:08:35,087 --> 00:08:36,304 I'll be sitting at your desk, 193 00:08:36,339 --> 00:08:37,722 if that's okay with you. 194 00:08:37,757 --> 00:08:39,174 It's fine with me. Have fun. 195 00:08:39,225 --> 00:08:40,475 But be careful. 196 00:08:40,509 --> 00:08:42,477 It is very easy to get lost 197 00:08:42,511 --> 00:08:47,065 in Pete's beautiful, dead eyes. 198 00:08:47,099 --> 00:08:50,318 Everyone, a little breaking news for you. 199 00:08:50,353 --> 00:08:52,470 Just had a little chat with David Wallace. 200 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:55,273 And, um, I'm taking a leave of absence 201 00:08:55,307 --> 00:08:58,026 from Dunder Mifflin forever. 202 00:08:58,077 --> 00:08:59,661 I can't say we didn't see it coming, 203 00:08:59,695 --> 00:09:02,530 but it's a sad day when anybody is fired. 204 00:09:02,582 --> 00:09:03,648 We're so sorry, Andy. 205 00:09:03,666 --> 00:09:05,817 Uh, uh, uh, uh, Andy was not fired. 206 00:09:05,835 --> 00:09:07,035 I wasn't fired. 207 00:09:07,086 --> 00:09:09,320 [Chuckling] What are you talking about? 208 00:09:09,338 --> 00:09:13,008 I'm fired up. Yes. 209 00:09:13,042 --> 00:09:15,260 Guys, I'm-- I'm leaving to pursue 210 00:09:15,294 --> 00:09:17,429 my lifelong dream of being famous. 211 00:09:17,463 --> 00:09:21,016 Oh, Andy. [All mumbling] 212 00:09:21,050 --> 00:09:25,020 Yeah, so I'll see you on the red carpet. 213 00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:26,855 [Solitary clapping, mumbling continues] 214 00:09:26,889 --> 00:09:29,340 'Cause see, that's how it works. 215 00:09:29,358 --> 00:09:32,310 Andy sings beautifully, 216 00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:33,945 and he's really good at dancing. 217 00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:35,747 He's a good speaker. 218 00:09:35,781 --> 00:09:39,317 But there's just something there you don't want to look at. 219 00:09:41,969 --> 00:09:43,969 Hey, how am I doing it as your desk mate, by the way? 220 00:09:44,570 --> 00:09:47,005 You probably miss Clark. 221 00:09:47,023 --> 00:09:49,107 Yeah, a little bit. 222 00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,143 Oh, wow. But, um-- oh, I get that-- 223 00:09:51,177 --> 00:09:53,344 Oh, no, no. No, it's cool. 224 00:09:53,362 --> 00:09:55,897 - I get it. - It's cool, man. 225 00:09:55,948 --> 00:09:58,567 I'm sure you and I will have our own thing. 226 00:09:58,618 --> 00:10:00,902 Yeah. Definitely. 227 00:10:00,937 --> 00:10:03,488 Go Phillies, right? 228 00:10:03,522 --> 00:10:06,691 You don't watch baseball. I keep forgetting that. 229 00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:09,494 I just think you're going into this a little fast. 230 00:10:09,528 --> 00:10:12,197 I'm 38, Darryl. How much slower should I go? 231 00:10:12,215 --> 00:10:14,282 Show business is cold. 232 00:10:14,317 --> 00:10:17,035 Let's say you get a job, which you probably won't. 233 00:10:17,053 --> 00:10:19,221 They're not gonna cut you any slack. 234 00:10:19,255 --> 00:10:21,840 You're meant for a job with lots and lots of slack. 235 00:10:21,874 --> 00:10:23,425 [Chuckles] 236 00:10:23,476 --> 00:10:25,927 All right. I get it. 237 00:10:25,978 --> 00:10:30,048 The male is a funny species. 238 00:10:30,082 --> 00:10:31,766 We don't just tell each other how we feel. 239 00:10:31,818 --> 00:10:33,151 That's chick stuff. 240 00:10:33,186 --> 00:10:37,388 So instead of saying, "hey, Andy, I love you, man. 241 00:10:37,406 --> 00:10:39,524 I don't want you to leave," 242 00:10:39,558 --> 00:10:42,410 you say something like, 243 00:10:42,445 --> 00:10:44,529 "hey, Andy, you're making the worst mistake of your life. 244 00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:46,898 You're not talented." 245 00:10:46,916 --> 00:10:49,835 Well... 246 00:10:49,869 --> 00:10:52,621 right back at you, Darryl. 247 00:10:57,093 --> 00:10:58,927 [Sighs] 248 00:10:58,961 --> 00:11:02,597 I'm gonna miss you, too. 249 00:11:02,632 --> 00:11:04,633 Mmm! 250 00:11:04,684 --> 00:11:06,518 Andy's from the generation that thinks 251 00:11:06,552 --> 00:11:07,919 they should all be famous. 252 00:11:07,937 --> 00:11:09,354 What happened to the generation 253 00:11:09,388 --> 00:11:11,756 that knew you shut up, did your work, 254 00:11:11,774 --> 00:11:14,075 and died quietly from a heart attack? 255 00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:17,345 Could Andy make it as an entertainer? 256 00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:18,396 I don't know. 257 00:11:18,430 --> 00:11:20,098 You know who's really funny? 258 00:11:20,116 --> 00:11:23,535 This bird in the park that can't fly right. 259 00:11:23,569 --> 00:11:25,504 I'd pay to see him. 260 00:11:25,538 --> 00:11:29,107 But I don't have to, 'cause the park is free. 261 00:11:32,328 --> 00:11:34,045 - Hyuh! Hyah! - Hyuh! Hyah! 262 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,547 I will now perform 263 00:11:35,581 --> 00:11:36,614 the ceremonial changing of the belts. 264 00:11:36,632 --> 00:11:37,632 [Shouting] He will now perform 265 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:39,951 the ceremonial changing of the belts. 266 00:11:39,969 --> 00:11:42,120 It's not a large room. I think they heard me. 267 00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:43,838 Take my belt, master. 268 00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:46,808 I now submit to you every part of myself. 269 00:11:46,842 --> 00:11:47,959 That's really okay. 270 00:11:47,977 --> 00:11:50,178 I'm mostly focused on the belt here. 271 00:11:50,229 --> 00:11:52,731 Just slip it off my-- slip it off my hips. 272 00:11:52,765 --> 00:11:55,400 Hold it-- take a step back. 273 00:11:55,434 --> 00:11:57,302 Take a step back. 274 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,638 [Sighs] 275 00:12:00,656 --> 00:12:02,190 Okay, okay, I can't-- 276 00:12:02,241 --> 00:12:05,493 I can't do this if you're gonna be thrusting like that, okay? 277 00:12:05,528 --> 00:12:09,164 I think we're gonna have to cut this off. 278 00:12:09,198 --> 00:12:10,282 He will now perform 279 00:12:10,316 --> 00:12:13,868 the ceremonial cutting off of the belt. 280 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,704 He-- oh. 281 00:12:15,755 --> 00:12:17,872 [Sighs] 282 00:12:17,924 --> 00:12:20,759 Gah! Hyah! 283 00:12:20,793 --> 00:12:24,246 Dwight has been practicing karate for years. 284 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,714 When we were dating, 285 00:12:25,765 --> 00:12:28,133 I would help him with his strength training. 286 00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:30,135 He would strap me to his chest 287 00:12:30,169 --> 00:12:33,188 in a Baby Bjorn made for fat children 288 00:12:33,222 --> 00:12:37,158 and do lunges across the farm. 289 00:12:37,193 --> 00:12:39,677 I felt like I was flying. 290 00:12:39,695 --> 00:12:40,678 There it is. [Applause] 291 00:12:40,696 --> 00:12:42,513 [Grunts] 292 00:12:42,531 --> 00:12:46,034 - Congratulations. - We did it, we did it. 293 00:12:46,068 --> 00:12:47,535 - I love you. - Okay. 294 00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:50,155 Thanks. 295 00:12:50,189 --> 00:12:51,239 [Clears throat] 296 00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:55,210 I will now perform my final kata forms. 297 00:12:55,244 --> 00:12:58,463 - You're going to watch me, right? - Yes, I will. 298 00:12:58,497 --> 00:13:01,833 [Shouting] 299 00:13:01,867 --> 00:13:03,585 - Sensei, you're not watching. - Yeah, I'm watching. 300 00:13:03,636 --> 00:13:05,136 Just do it. 301 00:13:05,171 --> 00:13:08,173 [Shouting] 302 00:13:08,207 --> 00:13:11,209 [Exhales] 303 00:13:14,013 --> 00:13:15,930 Ho! Ha! 304 00:13:15,982 --> 00:13:17,816 - Watching? - I'm watching. 305 00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:20,735 [Grunting] Watch this part, okay? 306 00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:23,021 Huh, gah! Gah! 307 00:13:23,055 --> 00:13:27,575 - Ha, ha, whoo. - Oh! 308 00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:31,162 Sensei, do you generally do house calls like this? 309 00:13:31,197 --> 00:13:33,198 Uh, you can just call me Billy. 310 00:13:33,232 --> 00:13:35,367 And no. No, but Dwight insisted. 311 00:13:35,401 --> 00:13:36,868 He wanted to receive his black belt 312 00:13:36,902 --> 00:13:38,703 in the place he loves most in the world. 313 00:13:38,737 --> 00:13:40,088 He said that? 314 00:13:40,122 --> 00:13:42,907 [Dwight continues karate shouts] 315 00:13:42,925 --> 00:13:47,745 - He's an odd guy, isn't he? - Yes. 316 00:13:47,763 --> 00:13:50,048 Irritating? Also yes. 317 00:13:50,082 --> 00:13:51,633 But I've got to hand it to him, 318 00:13:51,684 --> 00:13:53,885 he is one of the most tenacious and determined men 319 00:13:53,919 --> 00:13:55,603 I've ever met. 320 00:13:55,638 --> 00:13:57,605 Hyuah! Hah! 321 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,274 Hut! 322 00:13:59,308 --> 00:14:02,427 [Exhales] 323 00:14:02,445 --> 00:14:03,761 Ha-- ah! 324 00:14:03,779 --> 00:14:06,597 Unh! Kyah! 325 00:14:06,615 --> 00:14:10,201 [Growls softly] 326 00:14:10,236 --> 00:14:12,704 Ha! Ahah! Aah! 327 00:14:12,738 --> 00:14:16,741 [Applause] 328 00:14:16,775 --> 00:14:18,276 Oh! 329 00:14:18,294 --> 00:14:21,279 I am so proud of you, schrooberry blue. 330 00:14:21,297 --> 00:14:24,165 [Laughter] 331 00:14:26,993 --> 00:14:28,893 I really felt like I almost lost her. 332 00:14:28,927 --> 00:14:30,311 And-- and nothing is worth that. 333 00:14:30,362 --> 00:14:31,562 Well, I tell you, Jim, 334 00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:32,863 a lot of guys in my circle? 335 00:14:32,898 --> 00:14:34,865 They wouldn't even change their golf schedule 336 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:35,933 to shore up their marriage, 337 00:14:35,951 --> 00:14:40,771 let alone their professional goals. 338 00:14:40,789 --> 00:14:43,941 Dude, there is no way that Jim is just back here 339 00:14:43,959 --> 00:14:45,626 to "hang out with Pam." 340 00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:49,380 [Scoffs] You did not just say that. 341 00:14:49,414 --> 00:14:51,999 You don't know Pam. She is really cool. 342 00:14:52,050 --> 00:14:55,119 All I'm saying is, forget about my chair. 343 00:14:55,137 --> 00:14:57,138 He wants the manager's chair. 344 00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:58,639 And I thought you wanted that job. 345 00:14:58,673 --> 00:14:59,974 Yeah, I did. 346 00:15:00,008 --> 00:15:03,460 But I made too many mistakes. 347 00:15:03,478 --> 00:15:05,730 It's out of my reach now. 348 00:15:05,764 --> 00:15:09,817 Besides, I think Jim would be a fine manager. 349 00:15:09,851 --> 00:15:13,687 I'd be happy to see Jim as manager. 350 00:15:13,739 --> 00:15:15,973 So the reason I called you in here 351 00:15:15,991 --> 00:15:17,591 is because Andy is moving on. 352 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:18,609 Again. 353 00:15:18,643 --> 00:15:20,327 Again. [Chuckles] 354 00:15:20,362 --> 00:15:24,949 And I'm looking for a new manager. 355 00:15:24,983 --> 00:15:27,752 And with his performance this year, 356 00:15:27,786 --> 00:15:31,756 I have been considering Dwight. 357 00:15:31,790 --> 00:15:34,842 Am I crazy? 358 00:15:34,876 --> 00:15:36,761 Not at all. 359 00:15:36,795 --> 00:15:39,930 It should be Dwight. 360 00:15:39,965 --> 00:15:43,384 [Sighs] You sure? 361 00:15:43,435 --> 00:15:44,435 You're going to want to invest 362 00:15:44,469 --> 00:15:45,686 in a lot more liability insurance, 363 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,504 - but, uh... - Yeah. 364 00:15:47,522 --> 00:15:50,691 Hey, if there's someone who loves paper more than Dwight, 365 00:15:50,725 --> 00:15:52,526 I definitely don't want to meet that person. 366 00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:55,312 [Chuckles] 367 00:15:55,346 --> 00:15:58,032 [Sighs] 368 00:15:58,066 --> 00:16:02,236 Andy, we just wondered if we could have a word. 369 00:16:02,287 --> 00:16:03,370 It's now or never. 370 00:16:03,405 --> 00:16:04,822 Well, we just had a quick question 371 00:16:04,856 --> 00:16:07,374 about this decision of yours. 372 00:16:07,409 --> 00:16:09,827 You know, to leave a stable job 373 00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:13,497 and pursue a career in the entertainment business 374 00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:14,832 in your late 30s 375 00:16:14,866 --> 00:16:16,884 with no savings to fall back on 376 00:16:16,918 --> 00:16:19,420 and no real connections in that business, 377 00:16:19,471 --> 00:16:22,339 which can be competitive. 378 00:16:22,373 --> 00:16:23,841 Yeah, sure. What's your question? 379 00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:27,761 Our question is-- 380 00:16:27,796 --> 00:16:30,331 it seems dumb. 381 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:32,366 Well, it's better than sticking around here 382 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,834 and half-assing it, right? 383 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,202 Of course. 384 00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:39,907 But what if you were to stay here, 385 00:16:39,941 --> 00:16:43,477 you know, and "full-ass" it? 386 00:16:43,512 --> 00:16:45,546 - Yeah. - Um, really give it a go? 387 00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:48,883 Be the greatest manager in the history of this branch 388 00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:50,184 and in that way, 389 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,386 achieve the fame and immortality that you seek? 390 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,488 Hmm? 391 00:16:54,523 --> 00:16:56,724 Nah. I like my plan better. 392 00:16:56,758 --> 00:17:00,694 Well, Andy, your plan sucks, okay? 393 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,797 Nobody is going to hire you ever. 394 00:17:03,832 --> 00:17:06,800 You're too character-y to be a lead, 395 00:17:06,835 --> 00:17:09,770 and you're not fat enough to be a great character actor. 396 00:17:09,804 --> 00:17:12,139 What? 397 00:17:12,173 --> 00:17:15,476 No, I don't think he can make it as an actor. 398 00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:18,445 But he also can't make it as an employee in an office, 399 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,515 so, you know, why not go nuts with it? 400 00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:25,319 Hey, are you still in charge of office supplies? 401 00:17:25,353 --> 00:17:28,322 Yes. Yeah. 402 00:17:28,356 --> 00:17:30,241 I seem to have a sticky note emergency, 403 00:17:30,275 --> 00:17:32,126 where I grab it on the wrong end, 404 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,410 and then, this happens. 405 00:17:33,444 --> 00:17:34,578 Oh, boy, um-- 406 00:17:34,612 --> 00:17:36,914 If you could help me out, that would be-- 407 00:17:36,948 --> 00:17:39,616 - I could give you some beginner stickies? 408 00:17:39,634 --> 00:17:41,051 - Anything would help. Thank you. - Okay. 409 00:17:41,086 --> 00:17:42,119 Here you go. 410 00:17:42,137 --> 00:17:43,587 Oh, also, while you're at it, 411 00:17:43,621 --> 00:17:46,757 if you did have a salt packet, three tacks, and some aspirin, 412 00:17:46,791 --> 00:17:47,841 that'd be great. 413 00:17:47,893 --> 00:17:50,294 - Oh, wow. You have that. - Mm-hmm. 414 00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:52,146 - Wow, that's-- - It's all yours. 415 00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:54,348 - You come so prepared. - [Chuckles] 416 00:17:54,399 --> 00:17:56,400 Aspirin. 417 00:17:56,434 --> 00:17:57,735 If you want to get rid of a headache, 418 00:17:57,769 --> 00:17:58,852 you sit on something sharp. 419 00:17:58,904 --> 00:18:01,021 Any sensei will tell you that. 420 00:18:01,072 --> 00:18:04,825 Hey, congratulations on that black belt, man. 421 00:18:04,859 --> 00:18:07,111 It's really great. 422 00:18:07,145 --> 00:18:10,114 Thank you. 423 00:18:10,148 --> 00:18:12,283 So I saw you talking to Wallace earlier. 424 00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:13,667 Is he going to offer you the manager's job? 425 00:18:13,702 --> 00:18:16,170 No. 426 00:18:16,204 --> 00:18:18,088 He was maybe thinking of you for it. 427 00:18:18,123 --> 00:18:20,090 Yeah, right. 428 00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:22,459 I'm afraid that ship has sailed. 429 00:18:22,493 --> 00:18:25,162 I wouldn't be too sure about that. 430 00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,831 Just saying. 431 00:18:31,186 --> 00:18:33,187 [Whistling] 432 00:18:33,221 --> 00:18:34,972 [Whistling] 433 00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:37,174 - Hello. - Well, hello. 434 00:18:37,192 --> 00:18:38,342 Big day for you. 435 00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,944 - Big day for you. - Thank you. 436 00:18:39,978 --> 00:18:41,729 - Love the belt. - Oh, yes. 437 00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:43,063 You know, I don't know anything about karate, 438 00:18:43,114 --> 00:18:44,865 but I have broken a few boards in my day. 439 00:18:44,899 --> 00:18:46,116 Hi-yah. [Chuckles] 440 00:18:46,151 --> 00:18:49,153 Diving boards at my family pool in Redding. 441 00:18:49,187 --> 00:18:50,487 I was an obese child. 442 00:18:50,521 --> 00:18:52,022 I never talk about that here, 443 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,192 but nard-dog's outta here, so lettin' it all hang out. 444 00:18:55,210 --> 00:18:56,744 This is exciting. 445 00:18:56,795 --> 00:18:59,163 You're finally gonna get to go out and flap your wings. 446 00:18:59,197 --> 00:19:01,298 Thank you. I appreciate that. 447 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,300 'Cause a lot of people are saying I might not make it. 448 00:19:03,335 --> 00:19:04,585 Oh, I doubt you'll make it. 449 00:19:04,636 --> 00:19:06,553 Very few do who try to be a star. 450 00:19:06,588 --> 00:19:08,839 But listen, you've saved up enough money 451 00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:10,140 to take a couple of years off, 452 00:19:10,175 --> 00:19:12,810 and pursue your dream, and have some fun, right? 453 00:19:12,844 --> 00:19:16,430 No, I just applied for more overdraft protection. 454 00:19:16,481 --> 00:19:19,350 Andy, I have nothing to gain from getting you to stay, 455 00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:21,135 and everything to gain from you leaving. 456 00:19:21,169 --> 00:19:22,686 But please, I have known you for years. 457 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,721 I have seen you perform. 458 00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:26,774 Dear God, don't quit your day job. 459 00:19:29,995 --> 00:19:31,561 [Cockney accent] Nothing is impossible 460 00:19:31,579 --> 00:19:33,163 to him who will try. 461 00:19:33,198 --> 00:19:36,200 Alexander the Great, if he were Cockney. 462 00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:41,571 You're bad. 463 00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:47,378 I'm gonna make it. 464 00:19:47,412 --> 00:19:48,862 Every person who's been on Conan 465 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:52,049 has a crazy story about how they made it. 466 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:54,134 Every person. 467 00:19:54,185 --> 00:19:56,637 Erin. 468 00:19:56,688 --> 00:19:58,355 Honest Erin. Cannot tell a lie. 469 00:19:58,390 --> 00:20:00,524 - Oh. - We lay together. 470 00:20:00,558 --> 00:20:03,760 That's something you can't take back. 471 00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:05,595 So true. 472 00:20:05,613 --> 00:20:08,432 Is there a question, or are-- what? 473 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:09,700 Will you tell me bluntly? 474 00:20:09,734 --> 00:20:11,935 Do you think I'm making a terrible mistake 475 00:20:11,953 --> 00:20:13,787 quitting my job to become an actor? 476 00:20:13,822 --> 00:20:16,273 Bluntly? Yes. 477 00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:18,108 Huge mistake. 478 00:20:18,126 --> 00:20:21,662 Andy, honestly, I think you might become homeless 479 00:20:21,713 --> 00:20:25,332 or maybe even starve. 480 00:20:25,383 --> 00:20:29,553 Thank you. 481 00:20:32,757 --> 00:20:37,061 You can stay on as a salesman, Andy. 482 00:20:37,095 --> 00:20:39,847 Thank you. 483 00:20:42,767 --> 00:20:44,818 [Clears throat] 484 00:20:44,853 --> 00:20:47,855 Dwight, could you come in here for a second, please? 485 00:21:07,424 --> 00:21:11,842 - Say it again. - Will you be the new manager? 486 00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:14,695 Where? 487 00:21:14,730 --> 00:21:17,014 - Where? - What branch? 488 00:21:17,032 --> 00:21:20,485 Here. Scranton. 489 00:21:22,905 --> 00:21:24,989 Come on. 490 00:21:25,023 --> 00:21:27,191 Come on, Dwight. Get up. 491 00:21:27,209 --> 00:21:30,027 Let's go. It's good news. 492 00:21:30,045 --> 00:21:32,380 I'm sorry. 493 00:21:32,414 --> 00:21:34,999 I've just waited for this moment my entire life. 494 00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:36,700 I mean, I was interim manager once, 495 00:21:36,718 --> 00:21:37,919 but then I shot that gun. 496 00:21:37,970 --> 00:21:39,053 What? 497 00:21:39,087 --> 00:21:41,589 But this isn't interim manager. 498 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,392 No. 499 00:21:44,426 --> 00:21:48,379 It's Dwight K. Schrute... 500 00:21:48,397 --> 00:21:50,064 Manager. 501 00:21:50,098 --> 00:21:51,566 Why do you already have this? 502 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:52,600 In case Michael or Andy 503 00:21:52,651 --> 00:21:53,985 ever got killed in a traffic accident 504 00:21:54,019 --> 00:21:55,987 and there was a trade show on the same day. 505 00:21:56,021 --> 00:21:58,256 You will not regret this decision, David. 506 00:21:58,290 --> 00:21:59,657 I know. 507 00:21:59,691 --> 00:22:03,411 I will never, ever let you down. 508 00:22:03,445 --> 00:22:05,780 I know, Dwight. 509 00:22:05,831 --> 00:22:09,166 I know. 510 00:22:09,201 --> 00:22:10,501 [Laughs] 511 00:22:10,536 --> 00:22:12,069 Okay. 512 00:22:12,087 --> 00:22:14,705 Okay. All righty. 513 00:22:14,739 --> 00:22:16,740 You're gonna do great. 514 00:22:34,726 --> 00:22:36,561 - Hey. - Wow, hey. 515 00:22:36,595 --> 00:22:39,647 Hi. 516 00:22:39,698 --> 00:22:41,432 [Exhales] What's up? 517 00:22:41,450 --> 00:22:44,569 - Um, I have a question. - Okay. 518 00:22:44,603 --> 00:22:46,787 Oh, I had a question. 519 00:22:46,822 --> 00:22:49,106 Really? 520 00:22:49,124 --> 00:22:51,459 - I did! - Yeah, totally you did. 521 00:22:51,493 --> 00:22:52,960 Super important. 522 00:22:52,995 --> 00:22:55,379 I need you to stay right here while you think about it. 523 00:22:55,414 --> 00:22:56,547 - Okay. - All right? I'm gonna wait. 524 00:22:56,582 --> 00:22:57,548 All right. 525 00:22:57,583 --> 00:22:59,634 I did not come back here just to see you. 526 00:22:59,668 --> 00:23:01,836 No, I'm sure you did not. 527 00:23:01,887 --> 00:23:03,588 [Whispering] What was your question? 528 00:23:03,622 --> 00:23:04,889 I don't know, 529 00:23:04,923 --> 00:23:06,757 but it might take me a long time to figure it out. 530 00:23:06,791 --> 00:23:07,892 Well, then, I should figure out 531 00:23:07,926 --> 00:23:09,644 things to do while I'm waiting. 532 00:23:09,678 --> 00:23:12,013 Exactly. [Giggles] 533 00:23:16,151 --> 00:23:18,802 Hey, everybody. I changed my mind. 534 00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:19,987 Not leaving. 535 00:23:20,022 --> 00:23:21,939 I'm gonna stay on in sales. 536 00:23:21,973 --> 00:23:24,992 Oh, thank God... [Laughs] 537 00:23:25,027 --> 00:23:27,695 because sales could be your best role yet. 538 00:23:27,746 --> 00:23:29,697 Hey. Good choice, man. 539 00:23:29,748 --> 00:23:30,915 Seriously. 540 00:23:30,949 --> 00:23:32,816 Don't wanna see you in a porn next year. 541 00:23:32,834 --> 00:23:34,151 Okay. 542 00:23:34,186 --> 00:23:37,038 Ooh, there's a great play about a salesman. 543 00:23:37,089 --> 00:23:38,506 Death of a Salesman. 544 00:23:38,540 --> 00:23:40,174 I don't think so. 545 00:23:40,208 --> 00:23:42,326 Sure,Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller. 546 00:23:42,344 --> 00:23:44,045 It's a great play about crushed dreams. 547 00:23:44,096 --> 00:23:48,716 Mm, no, this one was written by Spongebob Squarepants. 548 00:23:57,676 --> 00:24:00,311 [Groans] 549 00:24:00,345 --> 00:24:03,364 Got any hot leads? 550 00:24:05,984 --> 00:24:08,119 See, so you just push from under, 551 00:24:08,153 --> 00:24:11,122 and turn it around, and boom. 552 00:24:11,156 --> 00:24:12,790 Now, the staple crimps outward. 553 00:24:12,824 --> 00:24:14,208 I had no idea. 554 00:24:14,242 --> 00:24:16,527 And here, I've been stapling the same way for 20 years 555 00:24:16,545 --> 00:24:17,962 like a frickin' sheep. 556 00:24:17,996 --> 00:24:21,031 - Look who's back. - I'm back. 557 00:24:21,049 --> 00:24:23,217 Oh! Hey, look, and now, it's like a double date. 558 00:24:23,251 --> 00:24:24,552 - Wow. - [Laughs] 559 00:24:24,586 --> 00:24:27,054 'Cause, uh-- bop, bop. 560 00:24:27,089 --> 00:24:29,006 Tweedle-lee-doo. [Sighs] 561 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,542 Actually, maybe we should go on a double date sometime. 562 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:32,743 That'd be fun. 563 00:24:32,778 --> 00:24:34,311 Yeah, we should do that for real sometime. 564 00:24:34,346 --> 00:24:36,931 Well, how about Thursday? 565 00:24:36,982 --> 00:24:39,266 Oh, well, Thursday's tough because-- 566 00:24:39,317 --> 00:24:40,551 Weeknights are actually tough just because-- 567 00:24:40,569 --> 00:24:41,652 They are. That's true, yeah. 568 00:24:41,687 --> 00:24:42,653 Just forget it. [Giggles] 569 00:24:42,688 --> 00:24:46,724 - Forget I said anything. - Oh. 570 00:24:52,013 --> 00:24:53,364 Attention, everyone. 571 00:24:53,398 --> 00:24:54,915 Just a quick announcement. 572 00:24:54,950 --> 00:24:57,334 Little reconfiguration to the staff. 573 00:24:57,369 --> 00:25:01,255 - Dwight Schrute-- - David. 574 00:25:01,289 --> 00:25:02,423 Can I just do one thing 575 00:25:02,457 --> 00:25:03,708 while you're making this announcement? 576 00:25:03,742 --> 00:25:05,676 And then, I'll never, ever do it again. 577 00:25:05,711 --> 00:25:07,178 - I don't think so. - But it's just one thing. 578 00:25:07,212 --> 00:25:08,929 - Just let me-- let me do this-- - Dwight-- Dwight-- Dwight. 579 00:25:08,964 --> 00:25:10,748 Come on-- what I was about to say is Dwight-- 580 00:25:10,766 --> 00:25:13,768 [Cell phone vibrates] 581 00:25:13,802 --> 00:25:15,019 Oh. 582 00:25:15,053 --> 00:25:16,187 I-I'm sorry, I gotta-- 583 00:25:16,221 --> 00:25:17,271 this'll be a second, sorry. 584 00:25:17,305 --> 00:25:19,890 Just wait and send it to voice mail. 585 00:25:19,924 --> 00:25:22,359 Yeah. 586 00:25:22,394 --> 00:25:24,762 [Groans] 587 00:25:26,877 --> 00:25:28,575 Come on. 588 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,124 Then we'll get him a new set of drums. 589 00:25:37,159 --> 00:25:38,626 Oh, my God. [Door closes] 590 00:25:38,660 --> 00:25:41,328 Oh, my God. [Groans] 591 00:25:47,969 --> 00:25:53,891 Dwight Schrute is manager! 592 00:25:53,925 --> 00:25:55,760 [Laughs] Oh, yeah! 593 00:25:55,794 --> 00:25:59,096 Whoo! [Laughs] 594 00:25:59,130 --> 00:26:01,131 Brava. Brava. 595 00:26:01,149 --> 00:26:03,067 - Way to go, Dwight. - Whoo! 596 00:26:03,101 --> 00:26:07,438 Creed Bratton is the new manager! 597 00:26:09,641 --> 00:26:10,991 Congrats. 598 00:26:11,026 --> 00:26:14,311 - What's going on? - Dwight's the new manager. 599 00:26:14,329 --> 00:26:15,663 He freaking did it. 600 00:26:15,697 --> 00:26:20,150 Congratulations, Dwight. 601 00:26:20,168 --> 00:26:21,919 Pam. 602 00:26:21,953 --> 00:26:25,172 Congratulations, buddy. 603 00:26:28,343 --> 00:26:30,344 Thank you, Jim. 604 00:26:30,378 --> 00:26:33,130 Congrats, Dwight. 605 00:26:33,164 --> 00:26:36,016 Get out of Jim's seat. 606 00:26:36,051 --> 00:26:37,768 Wha-- but I fought for this seat. 607 00:26:37,803 --> 00:26:40,187 You're an annex kid. You might be bullpen. 608 00:26:40,222 --> 00:26:41,689 We'll see. Give it a couple years. 609 00:26:41,723 --> 00:26:43,841 Scram. 610 00:26:43,859 --> 00:26:47,812 [Scoffs] 611 00:26:55,353 --> 00:26:57,621 [Sighs] 612 00:26:57,656 --> 00:27:01,659 It's nice to have you back. 613 00:27:04,296 --> 00:27:06,163 - So... - So... 614 00:27:06,197 --> 00:27:08,465 I wanted to offer you a new position. 615 00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:09,834 Let's hear it. 616 00:27:09,868 --> 00:27:12,386 Assistant regional manager. 617 00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:15,205 Nope. Can't accept that job. 618 00:27:15,223 --> 00:27:17,391 - It's not a real job. - Jim. 619 00:27:17,425 --> 00:27:19,176 I'll tell you what I could accept 620 00:27:19,210 --> 00:27:22,062 is assistant to the regional manager. 621 00:27:22,097 --> 00:27:24,548 That is a real job, and one I'd be proud to take. 622 00:27:24,566 --> 00:27:27,067 Shake on it? 623 00:27:27,102 --> 00:27:29,219 [Blows raspberry] Done. Way to negotiate, idiot. 624 00:27:29,237 --> 00:27:32,723 [Chuckles] 625 00:27:32,741 --> 00:27:36,577 Don't get me wrong. I am definitely here for Pam. 626 00:27:36,611 --> 00:27:40,281 But this is an awesome added bonus. 627 00:27:44,625 --> 00:27:47,525 So... all the numbers adding up? 628 00:27:47,586 --> 00:27:49,337 Hey, I didn't get a chance to say it, but... 629 00:27:49,388 --> 00:27:51,122 congratulations, Dwight. 630 00:27:51,140 --> 00:27:52,257 [Chuckles] Thank you. 631 00:27:52,291 --> 00:27:54,642 Ahem. Yes, congratulations. 632 00:27:54,677 --> 00:27:56,227 Yeah, and, Dwight, I'd like to be 633 00:27:56,262 --> 00:28:00,648 the first to say congratulations. 634 00:28:00,683 --> 00:28:04,485 This is a big day for you. 635 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,871 Hmm. 636 00:28:06,906 --> 00:28:08,473 Yes, it is. 637 00:28:14,530 --> 00:28:16,147 Carry on. 638 00:28:20,536 --> 00:28:23,188 How did I just abandon my dream so quickly? 639 00:28:23,222 --> 00:28:26,708 It's 'cause I had a fallback. That's the problem. 640 00:28:26,759 --> 00:28:29,878 When you have fallbacks, it's just easy to give up. 641 00:28:29,912 --> 00:28:32,130 When Cortez landed in Mexico, 642 00:28:32,164 --> 00:28:34,265 only way he got his men to defeat the Aztecs 643 00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:36,834 was by burning all of his own boats 644 00:28:36,852 --> 00:28:40,054 so they could never return home. 645 00:28:40,105 --> 00:28:42,506 Huge dick move, 646 00:28:42,524 --> 00:28:46,945 but very effective. 647 00:28:46,979 --> 00:28:49,847 I need to be that same kind of dick to myself. 648 00:28:53,852 --> 00:28:55,686 Everyone! [Sighs] 649 00:28:55,704 --> 00:28:57,872 - Changed my mind again. - Which is it now? 650 00:28:57,907 --> 00:29:00,191 - Dream or no dream? - Uh, dream. 651 00:29:00,209 --> 00:29:02,026 Goin' with my dream. 652 00:29:02,044 --> 00:29:03,878 Gotta go all in. Ain't that right, Jim? 653 00:29:03,913 --> 00:29:05,296 Oh, don't look at me, 654 00:29:05,331 --> 00:29:06,998 'cause I think you're making a terrible choice. 655 00:29:07,032 --> 00:29:08,416 All in! 656 00:29:08,467 --> 00:29:11,803 Whoo! 657 00:29:14,223 --> 00:29:16,207 Toby! 658 00:29:16,225 --> 00:29:18,643 Hey. I changed my mind again. 659 00:29:18,677 --> 00:29:21,429 I am gonna leave Dunder Mifflin to pursue acting after all. 660 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,147 - Okay, then, Andy. - Yeah. 661 00:29:23,182 --> 00:29:24,599 But here's the thing. 662 00:29:24,650 --> 00:29:26,267 I can't have good old Dunder Mifflin to fall back on, 663 00:29:26,318 --> 00:29:27,318 or else I'll never succeed. 664 00:29:27,353 --> 00:29:28,853 Gotta burn those boats! 665 00:29:28,887 --> 00:29:30,571 So I need you to go into my file 666 00:29:30,606 --> 00:29:32,857 and put down that I was fired for theft 667 00:29:32,891 --> 00:29:36,277 and/or groping wieners. 668 00:29:36,328 --> 00:29:37,779 A-Andy, you know I can't do that. 669 00:29:37,830 --> 00:29:39,897 - It'd be lying. - Seriously? 670 00:29:39,915 --> 00:29:43,534 - Yeah, I'm-- - Come on, just do it. 671 00:29:43,568 --> 00:29:45,753 - I can't. - All right, fine. 672 00:29:45,788 --> 00:29:50,375 Just know that you made me do this. 673 00:29:50,409 --> 00:29:52,343 Oh, come on. Andy, no. 674 00:29:52,378 --> 00:29:54,912 God, Toby, don't-- stop blocking my hand. 675 00:29:54,930 --> 00:29:55,913 No, no. 676 00:29:55,931 --> 00:29:57,465 This is your-- you brought this on. 677 00:29:57,516 --> 00:30:00,134 No, no. Andy. 678 00:30:00,185 --> 00:30:02,353 Okay, all right. Groped you good. 679 00:30:02,388 --> 00:30:06,557 Off to Hollywood! 680 00:30:06,592 --> 00:30:10,061 [Sighs] 681 00:30:10,095 --> 00:30:13,597 [Phone rings] 682 00:30:13,615 --> 00:30:15,483 This is Angela. 683 00:30:15,534 --> 00:30:16,484 Oh. [Clears throat] 684 00:30:16,535 --> 00:30:18,236 Hello, Miss Polodnikovski. 685 00:30:18,270 --> 00:30:21,456 Uh, how can I help you? 686 00:30:21,490 --> 00:30:23,541 Did my rent check not clear? 687 00:30:23,575 --> 00:30:27,829 Because I just transferred another $25 to that account. 688 00:30:27,863 --> 00:30:29,964 So if there's a problem, it's clearly on your end. 689 00:30:29,999 --> 00:30:32,550 And-- oh. 690 00:30:32,584 --> 00:30:34,252 Oh. Oh, okay. 691 00:30:34,286 --> 00:30:35,720 Good. 692 00:30:35,754 --> 00:30:36,721 Then, um... [Clears throat] 693 00:30:36,755 --> 00:30:40,842 what is this about? 694 00:30:40,893 --> 00:30:42,626 No, no. Hey, hey. 695 00:30:42,644 --> 00:30:45,063 No, you are out of line, Miss Polodnikovski. 696 00:30:45,097 --> 00:30:47,181 No. No, you are. 697 00:30:47,216 --> 00:30:48,566 No, you are! 698 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,318 Evicted? Fine! 699 00:30:50,352 --> 00:30:52,403 I don't want to live in that cesspool anyway. 700 00:30:52,438 --> 00:30:55,023 Listen, I get my security deposit back. 701 00:30:55,074 --> 00:30:57,025 Yes, I do. Ye-- 702 00:30:57,076 --> 00:30:59,944 That is not fair! That is not fair! 703 00:30:59,978 --> 00:31:00,995 Well, you know what? 704 00:31:01,030 --> 00:31:03,164 You have so many hairs on your chin, 705 00:31:03,198 --> 00:31:05,366 Animal Control should've taken you away. 706 00:31:05,417 --> 00:31:07,368 [Gasps] That is very unladylike. 707 00:31:07,419 --> 00:31:08,953 You are disgusting! 708 00:31:08,987 --> 00:31:11,706 [Hangs up phone] 709 00:31:21,633 --> 00:31:24,719 What do you think that was about? 710 00:31:24,770 --> 00:31:26,054 David. 711 00:31:26,088 --> 00:31:27,672 I lost the Scranton White Pages account. 712 00:31:27,706 --> 00:31:30,875 Do you have any idea how much paper that is? 713 00:31:30,893 --> 00:31:32,593 And I'd just like to point out 714 00:31:32,644 --> 00:31:33,644 I was mad at Dwight. 715 00:31:33,679 --> 00:31:34,729 I did it out of spite. 716 00:31:34,763 --> 00:31:37,065 We put the past behind us, though, Andy. 717 00:31:37,099 --> 00:31:39,183 When have I told you I hate you and this company? 718 00:31:39,217 --> 00:31:40,718 Enough, Andy. Enough! 719 00:31:40,736 --> 00:31:44,388 Just stop forgiving me, David. Please? 720 00:31:44,406 --> 00:31:49,193 This is my last chance to honor what is best inside myself. 721 00:31:49,227 --> 00:31:51,362 What if I took a dump on your new car? 722 00:31:51,396 --> 00:31:52,497 Oh, my God. 723 00:31:52,531 --> 00:31:54,449 Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 724 00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:56,417 "The future belongs to those 725 00:31:56,452 --> 00:31:59,504 who believe in the beauty of their dreams." 726 00:31:59,538 --> 00:32:01,706 [Bleep] I think she's right. 727 00:32:01,740 --> 00:32:03,791 - I feel calm now. - Get out! 728 00:32:03,842 --> 00:32:05,176 Get out! 729 00:32:05,210 --> 00:32:07,244 I feel, like, for the first time 730 00:32:07,262 --> 00:32:11,015 in a long time, I'm doing the right thing. 731 00:32:13,571 --> 00:32:15,071 - Andy. - Yeah. 732 00:32:15,072 --> 00:32:16,456 What are you doing? 733 00:32:16,490 --> 00:32:19,826 Uh, heavy stuff like books on the bottom. 734 00:32:19,877 --> 00:32:21,711 So it won't squash my knickety-knacks on top. 735 00:32:21,745 --> 00:32:23,663 Yeah, okay, that's not what I mean. 736 00:32:23,714 --> 00:32:24,997 [Sighs] 737 00:32:25,048 --> 00:32:27,967 You don't have to leave because you said you would. 738 00:32:28,001 --> 00:32:32,338 Don't let pride ruin your whole life. 739 00:32:32,389 --> 00:32:33,890 Okay? 740 00:32:33,924 --> 00:32:37,143 It's not worth it. 741 00:32:37,177 --> 00:32:38,811 Wow. 742 00:32:38,846 --> 00:32:40,313 Angela. 743 00:32:40,347 --> 00:32:42,148 What we had was great, 744 00:32:42,182 --> 00:32:44,650 and, honestly, I think about it a lot too... 745 00:32:44,685 --> 00:32:45,735 Ugh. 746 00:32:45,769 --> 00:32:48,104 But I just-- it's in the past. 747 00:32:48,138 --> 00:32:49,989 - And I feel like we shouldn't... - No, that's not-- 748 00:32:50,023 --> 00:32:52,408 - Rehash-- - No, none-- no, stop. 749 00:32:52,442 --> 00:32:55,111 It's just-- [Groans] 750 00:32:55,145 --> 00:32:57,196 - Exactly. - Okay. 751 00:32:57,247 --> 00:33:01,918 Well, have a good trip. 752 00:33:01,952 --> 00:33:04,537 Good luck, Andy. 753 00:33:04,588 --> 00:33:06,339 Thanks, Angela. You too. 754 00:33:06,373 --> 00:33:07,373 Thanks. 755 00:33:07,424 --> 00:33:10,760 A-bridge a-burnt. 756 00:33:10,794 --> 00:33:12,828 No turning back now. 757 00:33:12,846 --> 00:33:16,098 Everybody, Lorelei and I 758 00:33:16,133 --> 00:33:19,001 would like to say thank you and good-bye 759 00:33:19,019 --> 00:33:20,336 the only way we know how. 760 00:33:20,354 --> 00:33:23,356 - Oh, good lord. - Can't you just leave? 761 00:33:23,390 --> 00:33:26,225 You know, Andy, you could just say a really nice good-bye. 762 00:33:26,276 --> 00:33:28,027 Tuna, I'm a performer, 763 00:33:28,061 --> 00:33:31,013 and perform I shall. 764 00:33:31,031 --> 00:33:34,016 [Playing I Will Remember You] 765 00:33:34,034 --> 00:33:38,738 ♪ 766 00:33:38,789 --> 00:33:45,694 ♪ I will remember you ♪ 767 00:33:45,712 --> 00:33:51,884 ♪ Will you remember me? ♪ 768 00:33:51,919 --> 00:33:55,421 ♪ Don't let your life ♪ 769 00:33:55,472 --> 00:33:58,040 ♪ pass you by ♪ 770 00:33:58,058 --> 00:34:04,880 ♪ and weep not for the memories ♪ 771 00:34:04,898 --> 00:34:08,517 ♪ Remember all the good times ♪ 772 00:34:08,551 --> 00:34:11,070 ♪ that we had ♪ 773 00:34:11,104 --> 00:34:13,990 ♪ I let them slip away from us ♪ 774 00:34:14,024 --> 00:34:17,493 ♪ when things got bad ♪ 775 00:34:17,527 --> 00:34:20,863 ♪ How clearly I first saw you ♪ 776 00:34:20,897 --> 00:34:23,749 ♪ smilin' in the sun ♪ 777 00:34:23,784 --> 00:34:27,336 ♪ Want to feel your warmth upon me ♪ 778 00:34:27,371 --> 00:34:30,739 ♪ I wanna be the one ♪ 779 00:34:30,757 --> 00:34:33,759 ♪ I will remember you ♪ 780 00:34:33,794 --> 00:34:36,262 You okay? 781 00:34:36,296 --> 00:34:37,746 It's just a really nice song. 782 00:34:37,764 --> 00:34:43,352 ♪ Will you remember me? ♪ 783 00:34:43,387 --> 00:34:46,889 ♪ Don't let your life ♪ 784 00:34:46,923 --> 00:34:49,725 ♪ pass you by ♪ 785 00:34:49,759 --> 00:34:55,781 ♪ and weep not for the memories ♪ 786 00:34:55,816 --> 00:34:59,452 ♪ Don't let your life ♪ 787 00:34:59,486 --> 00:35:03,605 ♪ pass you by ♪ 788 00:35:03,624 --> 00:35:08,411 ♪ and weep not for the memories ♪ 789 00:35:08,445 --> 00:35:13,165 ♪ 790 00:35:13,216 --> 00:35:15,784 [Applause] 791 00:35:15,802 --> 00:35:17,053 Awesome. 792 00:35:17,087 --> 00:35:19,788 - [Groans] - Nice! 793 00:35:19,806 --> 00:35:24,010 - [Laughing] - Thanks, Meredith. 794 00:35:24,061 --> 00:35:25,678 - Mm. - Who knows? 795 00:35:25,729 --> 00:35:27,897 Maybe Andy will make it. 796 00:35:27,931 --> 00:35:29,932 - He's not terrible. - Yeah. 797 00:35:29,966 --> 00:35:31,967 And people worse than him make it all the time, 798 00:35:31,985 --> 00:35:33,469 like Lil' Romeo. 799 00:35:33,503 --> 00:35:34,654 No, he's good. 800 00:35:34,688 --> 00:35:37,023 Hewasgood. 801 00:35:45,286 --> 00:35:48,505 - Good night, Kevin. - Night, Oscar. 802 00:36:01,052 --> 00:36:03,720 Tents? 803 00:36:03,771 --> 00:36:05,722 Are you thinking of going camping? 804 00:36:05,773 --> 00:36:07,841 I thought you found nature vulgar. 805 00:36:07,859 --> 00:36:11,478 Well, I've changed my mind. 806 00:36:11,512 --> 00:36:14,347 [Whispering] Wait a minute, Angela. 807 00:36:14,365 --> 00:36:16,817 You're not thinking of living in a tent-- 808 00:36:16,851 --> 00:36:21,288 Oh, God, would you just mind your own business? 809 00:36:21,322 --> 00:36:23,690 Okay, listen. I'm just gonna say this. 810 00:36:23,708 --> 00:36:25,876 You are not going to live in a tent. 811 00:36:25,910 --> 00:36:30,330 - Oh, God. - Come stay with me. 812 00:36:30,364 --> 00:36:32,532 You don't want me at your place. 813 00:36:32,550 --> 00:36:34,534 I do. Yes. 814 00:36:34,552 --> 00:36:37,921 Not forever, but u-until you get back on your feet, 815 00:36:37,972 --> 00:36:39,840 which won't be long. 816 00:36:39,874 --> 00:36:41,675 It's the least I can do. 817 00:36:41,709 --> 00:36:44,711 Well... 818 00:36:47,482 --> 00:36:49,266 Separate bathrooms. 819 00:36:53,988 --> 00:36:56,690 [Exhales] 820 00:36:56,724 --> 00:36:59,910 Thank you. 821 00:36:59,944 --> 00:37:00,944 You're welcome. 822 00:37:00,995 --> 00:37:02,913 Let's go get Philip. 823 00:37:02,947 --> 00:37:05,582 - Then, we'll get your stuff... - Okay. 824 00:37:05,616 --> 00:37:07,334 And you get the hell out of that place. 825 00:37:07,368 --> 00:37:10,003 Okay. 826 00:37:10,038 --> 00:37:11,705 Are you allowed to have pets? 827 00:37:11,739 --> 00:37:14,240 Oh, Angela. 828 00:37:14,258 --> 00:37:17,511 Yesterday, I was just your average, ordinary paper salesman 829 00:37:17,545 --> 00:37:21,381 with a farm and a bunch of pipe dreams about beet fuel. 830 00:37:21,415 --> 00:37:26,586 Today, I leave here a regional manager with a black belt. 831 00:37:26,604 --> 00:37:27,938 Ah! 832 00:37:27,972 --> 00:37:30,107 It really is amazing how your life can change 833 00:37:30,141 --> 00:37:32,342 in one day. 834 00:37:32,377 --> 00:37:35,312 [Exhales] 835 00:37:35,363 --> 00:37:36,480 You talk to Wade and Colin? 836 00:37:36,531 --> 00:37:37,731 No, I just saw I missed their call. 837 00:37:37,765 --> 00:37:38,932 Why? What's up? 838 00:37:38,950 --> 00:37:39,950 We got an offer on the table. 839 00:37:39,984 --> 00:37:42,035 - What kind of offer? - A buyout. 840 00:37:42,070 --> 00:37:43,436 - What? - We're in play, baby. 841 00:37:43,454 --> 00:37:45,155 - Oh, my God. - We did it. 842 00:37:45,206 --> 00:37:46,790 - We did it! - Ah, ha, ha, ha, ho! 843 00:37:46,824 --> 00:37:48,274 Hey, and look. 844 00:37:48,292 --> 00:37:50,364 The buyers wanna make sure it's not just a Philly play. 845 00:37:50,479 --> 00:37:52,462 - Okay. - So get this. 846 00:37:52,497 --> 00:37:56,216 They're gonna pay for us to go pitch out west. 847 00:37:56,250 --> 00:38:00,504 We talking spurs, the jazz, cowboys. 848 00:38:00,555 --> 00:38:02,889 Blake Griffin, baby. 849 00:38:02,924 --> 00:38:05,459 - Wow, that is... - Yeah. 850 00:38:05,493 --> 00:38:07,060 - Wow. - We did it. 851 00:38:07,095 --> 00:38:09,563 - Yeah, we did it. - [Laughs] 852 00:38:09,597 --> 00:38:11,765 Hey, how long-- how long do we think that's gonna take? 853 00:38:11,799 --> 00:38:14,851 Wade said we could do the whole country in three months. 854 00:38:14,902 --> 00:38:17,971 Oh, man. 855 00:38:17,989 --> 00:38:20,440 Yeah, I can't do it. 856 00:38:20,474 --> 00:38:22,609 Can't do what? 857 00:38:22,643 --> 00:38:26,797 This, man. I-I can't do this to Pam. 858 00:38:26,831 --> 00:38:28,982 No, no. Jim, this is different. 859 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,784 This is everything. [Chuckles] 860 00:38:30,818 --> 00:38:33,053 I know. 861 00:38:33,087 --> 00:38:37,090 And I-- and I can't do it. 862 00:38:57,562 --> 00:39:01,815 [Exhales] 863 00:39:01,849 --> 00:39:05,452 So is your place all bachelor, slobby, and gross? 864 00:39:05,486 --> 00:39:07,204 Nope, it's neat and tastefully appointed 865 00:39:07,238 --> 00:39:08,822 like most gay men's homes. 866 00:39:08,856 --> 00:39:10,574 The stereotype holds up. 867 00:39:10,625 --> 00:39:14,628 I wouldn't know. I never lived with a gay guy. 868 00:39:14,662 --> 00:39:17,998 Angela, you just were-- 869 00:39:18,032 --> 00:39:20,533 [Sobbing] 870 00:39:20,551 --> 00:39:24,754 I love him. 871 00:39:24,806 --> 00:39:27,474 - I know. - [Sobs] 872 00:39:27,508 --> 00:39:28,809 I understand more than most, 873 00:39:28,843 --> 00:39:31,328 but we both have to move on. 874 00:39:31,362 --> 00:39:34,347 You-- you can't-- c-- 875 00:39:34,381 --> 00:39:37,801 No, not the Senator. 876 00:39:37,835 --> 00:39:40,070 I love Dwight. 877 00:39:50,543 --> 00:39:55,512 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 878 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,624 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player