1
00:00:42,165 --> 00:00:43,165
Time.
2
00:00:46,665 --> 00:00:47,665
Space.
3
00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:50,415
Reality.
4
00:00:53,248 --> 00:00:55,040
It's more than a linear path.
5
00:00:59,915 --> 00:01:04,582
It's a prism of endless possibility,
6
00:01:06,873 --> 00:01:10,373
where a single choice
can branch out into infinite realities,
7
00:01:13,082 --> 00:01:16,082
creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.
8
00:01:19,957 --> 00:01:21,207
I am the Watcher.
9
00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:26,707
I am your guide
through these vast new realities.
10
00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:31,957
Follow me and ponder the question...
11
00:01:35,373 --> 00:01:36,748
"What if?"
12
00:01:50,957 --> 00:01:52,832
For the win. This is it.
13
00:01:55,623 --> 00:01:57,248
And this is it, for the win.
14
00:01:58,832 --> 00:02:01,123
For the win. This is it.
15
00:02:02,207 --> 00:02:03,498
For the...
16
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:07,290
Yes! First try.
Jane, you owe me 50...
17
00:02:07,373 --> 00:02:09,123
Uh... Oh! Uh...
18
00:02:09,207 --> 00:02:10,915
Uh, Jane, Jane, Jane!
19
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,748
It's beeping! It's doing the beeping!
20
00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:16,415
I need to talk
to the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
21
00:02:16,498 --> 00:02:17,998
Because, if my data is correct,
22
00:02:18,082 --> 00:02:19,808
I believe an alien invasion
is imminent and...
23
00:02:19,832 --> 00:02:20,832
Hello?
24
00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:25,082
Two years ago, the same anomaly
struck Star Alpha Icarus
25
00:02:25,165 --> 00:02:27,748
and the entire star dimmed
and then, poof, disintegrated.
26
00:02:28,998 --> 00:02:32,498
Yes, I know this is the Parks Department,
but isn't there something you can do?
27
00:02:32,582 --> 00:02:34,665
Talking about the end of the world,
my dude.
28
00:02:39,832 --> 00:02:41,665
They're here.
29
00:02:41,748 --> 00:02:44,248
We're too late. The invasion has begun.
30
00:02:51,248 --> 00:02:52,248
- Holy moly!
- Oh!
31
00:02:56,207 --> 00:02:57,790
Citizens of Midgard...
32
00:02:59,457 --> 00:03:02,748
...your dull lives are about
to come to an end.
33
00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:05,123
Prepare yourselves...
34
00:03:08,498 --> 00:03:11,248
for the party prince!
35
00:03:14,623 --> 00:03:17,623
This is gonna be awesome. Whoo!
36
00:03:17,707 --> 00:03:19,748
More than battles won or lost,
37
00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:22,623
it's relationships
that truly define a hero.
38
00:03:22,707 --> 00:03:24,998
The people who shape them, their stories.
39
00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:29,540
Thor and Loki, a brotherhood
so strong and pivotal,
40
00:03:29,623 --> 00:03:31,748
it would change the fate of a universe.
41
00:03:32,748 --> 00:03:36,123
Their childhood taught Thor many lessons.
42
00:03:37,332 --> 00:03:38,748
But in another universe,
43
00:03:38,832 --> 00:03:42,957
instead of raising the Jotunheim prince,
Loki, as his own son,
44
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,373
Odin returned him to his people.
45
00:03:45,457 --> 00:03:49,373
Without his trickster brother
to keep things, let's say, lively,
46
00:03:49,457 --> 00:03:52,498
Thor grew into a very different prince.
47
00:03:57,748 --> 00:04:00,123
Rest, my love.
48
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:04,332
Allow the Odinsleep to restore
your body and soul.
49
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:20,332
He's asleep. And, uh...
50
00:04:20,415 --> 00:04:23,498
I'm off to my sister's
to celebrate the solstice.
51
00:04:23,582 --> 00:04:27,082
Now, this is your first taste of kinghood,
my prince.
52
00:04:27,165 --> 00:04:28,457
I expect you to study,
53
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:31,040
read up on the Nine Realms
that you will one day rule.
54
00:04:31,123 --> 00:04:32,248
Of course, Mother.
55
00:04:32,332 --> 00:04:34,248
- No parties.
- Of course, Mother.
56
00:04:34,332 --> 00:04:36,540
Remember,
Heimdall will be watching.
57
00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:40,332
Wait, what? You can't be serious.
58
00:04:40,415 --> 00:04:41,498
Behave.
59
00:04:48,498 --> 00:04:49,748
Oh, Heimdall, there you are.
60
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,707
Just off to study.
Books won't read themselves.
61
00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:55,082
But your mother said...
62
00:04:55,165 --> 00:04:56,790
Don't be such a wet blanket, Hogun.
63
00:04:56,873 --> 00:04:59,832
Oh, guys, stop. My father has
ruled Asgard for centuries.
64
00:04:59,915 --> 00:05:02,766
And, look, the most interesting thing
that he's ever done is fall asleep.
65
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:06,790
He only cares about duty
and blah-blah-blah-blah responsibility.
66
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,998
Well, I'm not gonna be like him, right?
The boring king? Uh-uh.
67
00:05:11,373 --> 00:05:16,707
But Heimdall sees all.
If we try anything, he'll call Frigga.
68
00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:18,290
Oh, ye of little faith.
69
00:05:18,373 --> 00:05:20,540
We are going to the most backward,
70
00:05:20,623 --> 00:05:23,790
backwater planet that not even
Heimdall pays attention to.
71
00:05:23,873 --> 00:05:25,290
Alert the realms.
72
00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:29,540
Party on Midgard!
73
00:05:29,623 --> 00:05:31,165
Yes!
74
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,582
Huzzah!
75
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,082
To Thor, the party prince!
76
00:05:35,165 --> 00:05:37,308
- Welcome! Welcome, friends.
- Party prince!
77
00:05:37,332 --> 00:05:38,665
Enjoy the night.
78
00:05:38,748 --> 00:05:39,748
Thunder hug.
79
00:05:41,082 --> 00:05:43,415
Here, have a drink.
It never runs out.
80
00:05:43,498 --> 00:05:47,332
You try to drink it all,
but you can't because it's magic! Huzzah!
81
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:51,165
Huzzah!
Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!
82
00:05:52,332 --> 00:05:54,998
Hollywood movies did not
prepare me for this.
83
00:05:55,082 --> 00:05:58,415
Shouldn't there be more lasers?
Probing? A flying cow?
84
00:05:58,498 --> 00:05:59,582
According to my data,
85
00:05:59,665 --> 00:06:02,832
the first extraterrestrial
to arrive was...
86
00:06:02,915 --> 00:06:04,707
Him?
87
00:06:10,915 --> 00:06:13,415
Huh. I expected him to look more like...
88
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:17,123
Like what? E.T.? And less like
a hottie McScotty, beach body Ken,
89
00:06:17,207 --> 00:06:20,748
old-school Abercrombie catalog?
I could go on. Let me.
90
00:06:20,832 --> 00:06:21,957
I'm gonna go talk to him.
91
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,790
I'm gonna make first contact
with an alien.
92
00:06:23,873 --> 00:06:26,290
First? I think half the Strip
beat you to it.
93
00:06:26,373 --> 00:06:27,957
You can make first contact with...
94
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,373
I don't know, that guy.
He looks like a loser.
95
00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,582
Ha! Big talk coming from a brunette.
96
00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:35,623
I'm going. How do I look?
97
00:06:35,707 --> 00:06:38,415
Completely unprepared
for whatever happens next.
98
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:39,915
Oh, do me, do me.
99
00:06:40,498 --> 00:06:44,290
Yes, you do me.
You do me, and you too.
100
00:06:44,373 --> 00:06:47,332
Oh, you guys really get me. Yes?
101
00:06:47,915 --> 00:06:49,373
Huh? Oh.
102
00:06:49,457 --> 00:06:52,123
Oh, there you are, all the way down there.
103
00:06:52,207 --> 00:06:54,623
So tiny, I almost stood on you.
How are you?
104
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:57,165
I'm Dr. Jane Foster of Earth.
105
00:06:57,248 --> 00:06:59,415
Yeah, Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard.
106
00:06:59,498 --> 00:07:02,123
Uh, libations, crudité, baked goods?
107
00:07:02,207 --> 00:07:04,332
Mmm. Topaz, what do I always say?
108
00:07:04,415 --> 00:07:05,582
- I love cake.
- Mmm.
109
00:07:05,873 --> 00:07:07,707
Wait, wait, wait. You're Thor?
110
00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:10,415
As in Thor, the Norse god of thunder?
111
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:14,790
I don't know anything about horse gods,
but I do know how to bring the thunder.
112
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:17,457
Uh... Okay, moving on.
113
00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:20,457
Eighteen months ago,
Alpha Star Icarus died.
114
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,165
The astronomaly that preceded it...
115
00:07:22,248 --> 00:07:24,290
- ...happened again tonight.
- Don't drink too much.
116
00:07:24,373 --> 00:07:26,082
- Or too little.
- Hey, thunder boy.
117
00:07:26,165 --> 00:07:28,290
What I'm asking is, was that you?
118
00:07:28,373 --> 00:07:32,040
Yes, Alpha Star.
Now, that was an excellent party.
119
00:07:32,123 --> 00:07:34,123
You know, we lost Fandral for three days.
120
00:07:34,207 --> 00:07:36,957
Found him in a barn,
curled up next to a baby goat.
121
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,915
It was classic. Isn't that right, Fandral?
122
00:07:38,998 --> 00:07:40,915
I named him Gary.
123
00:07:40,998 --> 00:07:42,391
- Yeah, you did.
- Yeah, goats!
124
00:07:42,415 --> 00:07:43,665
You killed a planet.
125
00:07:43,748 --> 00:07:46,457
Oh, what is that light box thing
you've got there?
126
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:49,332
Oh, it's magic. I love magic.
Did you build this all by yourself?
127
00:07:49,415 --> 00:07:52,915
Excuse me? I happen to be
an astrophysicist with multiple PhDs.
128
00:07:52,998 --> 00:07:56,415
You know, it would take a whole
team of Asgardians to create such a thing.
129
00:07:56,498 --> 00:07:59,665
You must be a genius.
You are a genius, aren't you?
130
00:07:59,748 --> 00:08:02,332
Well, I don't know
about genius, but...
131
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,915
And your eyes...
132
00:08:03,998 --> 00:08:07,373
Do all geniuses have such deep, dark eyes?
133
00:08:07,457 --> 00:08:10,665
It's like watching the birth of two stars
on the edge of the galaxy.
134
00:08:10,748 --> 00:08:12,540
Oh.
135
00:08:14,248 --> 00:08:17,082
Well, it's happy hour.
Want some half-price nachos?
136
00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:20,082
Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date.
137
00:08:20,165 --> 00:08:21,845
Let's just see where this evolves.
138
00:08:33,498 --> 00:08:34,748
Huh?
139
00:08:34,832 --> 00:08:35,915
Release the foam.
140
00:08:39,582 --> 00:08:41,290
Blow on these.
141
00:08:41,373 --> 00:08:42,873
Momma needs a brand-new eye.
142
00:08:51,248 --> 00:08:54,040
Volstagg has crashed!
143
00:08:54,123 --> 00:08:56,207
I now pronounce you Darcy and the Duck.
144
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:57,332
Uh-huh.
145
00:09:20,165 --> 00:09:21,582
Ah.
146
00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:24,123
Ah, phone.
147
00:09:31,707 --> 00:09:36,207
Ah, phone... Phone! Oh, shut up!
148
00:09:39,123 --> 00:09:40,457
Dr. Jane Foster?
149
00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:42,790
Coming. I'm coming.
150
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,665
Dr. Jane Foster!
151
00:09:44,748 --> 00:09:46,415
Hold on.
152
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:48,873
Dr. Jane Foster,
this is S.H.I.E.L.D.
153
00:09:51,957 --> 00:09:53,332
If you do not answer, we will...
154
00:09:53,415 --> 00:09:54,832
Yes?
155
00:09:54,915 --> 00:09:55,915
We have her, ma'am.
156
00:09:55,998 --> 00:09:58,248
Maria Hill,
Acting Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
157
00:09:58,332 --> 00:09:59,707
- You need to come with us.
- Uh...
158
00:10:00,998 --> 00:10:04,082
Can this wait until after breakfast?
'Cause...
159
00:10:04,165 --> 00:10:08,332
You were the first to warn us
about this extraterrestrial threat.
160
00:10:08,415 --> 00:10:11,665
Now I hope you will be the key
to eliminating it.
161
00:10:11,748 --> 00:10:14,748
"Threat"? Would you call him
a threat, really?
162
00:10:14,832 --> 00:10:18,748
Do you wanna know why I am
the Acting Director, Dr. Foster?
163
00:10:18,832 --> 00:10:20,082
Nope.
164
00:10:20,165 --> 00:10:24,790
Hey, Spicoli. This might be your party,
but this isn't your planet.
165
00:10:24,873 --> 00:10:26,623
Before someone gets hurt, I need...
166
00:10:26,707 --> 00:10:27,707
Ball cannons!
167
00:10:31,415 --> 00:10:32,457
Oh!
168
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:34,457
- Is he okay?
- He's still unconscious.
169
00:10:36,123 --> 00:10:37,248
We getting food?
170
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:38,873
Do you have company, Dr. Foster?
171
00:10:38,957 --> 00:10:40,498
Uh... A friend.
172
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:43,248
Guys, guys, look.
There's a cute little rabbit in the sink.
173
00:10:43,332 --> 00:10:46,123
Oh, look at this little rabbit.
It's gorgeous.
174
00:10:46,207 --> 00:10:49,040
He's... a zoologist. I'll call you, okay?
175
00:10:51,998 --> 00:10:53,415
I told you everything.
176
00:10:53,498 --> 00:10:55,623
I followed the anomaly's origin to Vegas.
177
00:10:55,707 --> 00:10:57,123
And then what did you do?
178
00:10:57,207 --> 00:11:00,415
Um... Uh...
179
00:11:00,498 --> 00:11:02,873
Director, the party atmosphere
seems to be spreading.
180
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,040
Canada, Mongolia,
even Pennsylvania Dutch country.
181
00:11:07,123 --> 00:11:10,207
Led by the main instigator,
Thor of Asgard,
182
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:11,790
who's now taken to the skies.
183
00:11:11,873 --> 00:11:14,165
What? He left?
184
00:11:14,248 --> 00:11:17,123
Did he... Did he even leave a note at...
185
00:11:17,873 --> 00:11:21,082
I mean, did...
Did he say where he was going?
186
00:11:21,165 --> 00:11:22,665
- Smooth.
- Thanks.
187
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:24,290
- Sarcasm.
- Paris.
188
00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:28,290
One of his compatriots was,
and I quote, "jonesing for crêpes."
189
00:11:28,373 --> 00:11:29,373
Ma'am...
190
00:11:30,832 --> 00:11:32,415
the last resort has arrived.
191
00:11:32,498 --> 00:11:35,540
Whoa, whoa.
"Last resort" sounds very final.
192
00:11:35,623 --> 00:11:38,415
This is Earth's first encounter
with alien life.
193
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:41,373
How we respond today will set the tone
for diplomatic relations
194
00:11:41,457 --> 00:11:43,373
between our worlds for generations.
195
00:11:43,457 --> 00:11:47,707
"Diplomatic relations"?
Is that what the kids are calling it?
196
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:48,915
You're wrong, Doctor.
197
00:11:48,998 --> 00:11:51,748
This isn't S.H.I.E.L.D.'s
first alien rodeo.
198
00:11:52,707 --> 00:11:56,415
A beeper? My dad has one!
He's a podiatrist.
199
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,790
Wait, are you guys calling a podiatrist?
200
00:12:01,665 --> 00:12:02,665
It's done.
201
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:07,248
Is it happening? Did it happen?
What'd I miss?
202
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,832
All right, here we go. Nestle on in.
203
00:12:09,915 --> 00:12:12,748
- Everyone say "waffles." I love that word.
- Cheese.
204
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,915
Waffles with maple syrup
and whipped cream on top.
205
00:12:14,998 --> 00:12:16,058
- Thor!
- Thor!
206
00:12:16,082 --> 00:12:17,457
He came! He's here!
207
00:12:17,957 --> 00:12:22,207
Oi! Where's that son of a witch,
Thor Odinson?
208
00:12:23,248 --> 00:12:25,165
What did you say?
209
00:12:25,248 --> 00:12:30,123
Fandral, tell me, is that butt-ugly
Popsicle stick talking to me?
210
00:12:39,623 --> 00:12:41,540
- Bring it on in.
- I can't believe you came!
211
00:12:41,623 --> 00:12:43,707
Loki, you are the absolute best!
212
00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:45,849
You're my brother
from another mother, man. I mean that.
213
00:12:45,873 --> 00:12:47,665
- I mean it.
- Brothers forever.
214
00:12:47,748 --> 00:12:49,582
Brothers forever!
215
00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:50,957
Forever!
216
00:12:52,332 --> 00:12:54,665
Wait, what's that boom? Did you boom?
217
00:12:54,748 --> 00:12:56,668
No, I didn't boom.
Did you boom? You always boom.
218
00:12:56,707 --> 00:12:59,082
I never boom. I only boom in private.
219
00:12:59,165 --> 00:13:02,582
Oh, oh, oh. Loki, look,
it's a shooting star. Make a wish, quick!
220
00:13:02,665 --> 00:13:05,332
Yes, yes, a shooting star.
Yes, okay. I wish... I wish...
221
00:13:06,832 --> 00:13:09,457
I wish, I wish, I wish... I wish...
222
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,873
- Uh... I've got it!
- What is it? Tell me.
223
00:13:13,957 --> 00:13:16,665
I couldn't possibly tell you.
It'll ruin the magic.
224
00:13:16,748 --> 00:13:17,748
Oh.
225
00:13:26,165 --> 00:13:29,082
Hey, Whitesnake. We need to chat.
226
00:13:29,165 --> 00:13:34,665
The name is Thor, with a "T"
and an "R" and an "O" and a "H."
227
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:35,873
But not in that order.
228
00:13:35,957 --> 00:13:38,623
- Quite some party you're throwing.
- Isn't it the best?
229
00:13:38,707 --> 00:13:41,082
I mean, I'd hoped the Ice Bros would show,
230
00:13:41,165 --> 00:13:43,123
but Loki himself? Prince Loki?
231
00:13:43,207 --> 00:13:45,457
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
232
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:48,457
Listen, bud, clean up this mess
and leave this planet.
233
00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:51,207
What? No, I like it here.
Everyone likes me.
234
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:53,540
We're having a great time...
till you showed up.
235
00:13:53,623 --> 00:13:55,373
Party's over, pal.
236
00:13:55,457 --> 00:14:00,290
Mmm. Yeah, maybe here's a thought.
Uh, how about you just buzz off?
237
00:14:04,790 --> 00:14:05,790
Oh!
238
00:14:11,457 --> 00:14:13,373
I wasn't asking, hotshot.
239
00:14:14,957 --> 00:14:18,665
You know, there's a Midgardian word
for women like you.
240
00:14:20,415 --> 00:14:21,707
Party pooper.
241
00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:24,415
There. I said it.
242
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,998
Okay, this one's for Fury.
243
00:14:31,457 --> 00:14:32,707
Now, for the rest of you...
244
00:14:40,957 --> 00:14:42,873
Have at you!
245
00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:45,165
Smooth move, bro. You just...
246
00:14:45,248 --> 00:14:46,873
Hammerang. Get it?
247
00:14:46,957 --> 00:14:49,248
Look, pal, I'm gonna count to three
248
00:14:49,332 --> 00:14:51,082
and you're gonna put the hammer down.
249
00:14:52,832 --> 00:14:55,165
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
250
00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:01,457
Hey, what did I tell you? Knock it off.
251
00:15:21,207 --> 00:15:22,790
Whoa.
252
00:15:23,582 --> 00:15:25,957
Hey, quit it. These are...
253
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,915
I don't know what these are. No one does.
But... No! I said no! Stop.
254
00:15:29,998 --> 00:15:33,165
Oh, but I just have to do a little boop.
255
00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:45,748
Oh, no, your weird rocks
have all fallen over.
256
00:15:45,832 --> 00:15:47,248
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
257
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,248
Ow!
258
00:16:02,623 --> 00:16:03,623
Party foul.
259
00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:09,540
Be right with you. Just one second.
260
00:16:10,165 --> 00:16:13,332
Ah, there it is. Whoo! Let's do this.
261
00:16:52,748 --> 00:16:54,873
You know, I'm starting to...
262
00:16:54,957 --> 00:16:56,998
Ow! Not the hair!
263
00:17:05,748 --> 00:17:07,498
Have at you!
264
00:17:42,415 --> 00:17:43,415
You know what you need?
265
00:17:43,498 --> 00:17:45,915
A stiff drink and two weeks in Hawaii?
266
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,207
A time-out.
267
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:50,498
My mother punished me with time-outs
all the time, but I never learned a thing.
268
00:17:50,582 --> 00:17:54,790
But maybe they'll work on you
because you're a party pooper.
269
00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:57,332
Hey, look, everyone! A party pooper.
270
00:17:57,415 --> 00:18:00,415
Pooper! Pooper! Pooper!
271
00:18:05,332 --> 00:18:07,165
Fury said you were the best.
272
00:18:07,248 --> 00:18:10,415
That your punch was equal
to ten nuclear bombs.
273
00:18:10,498 --> 00:18:12,748
That your cat could devour whole armies.
274
00:18:12,832 --> 00:18:14,873
You've got a cat? What's its name?
275
00:18:14,957 --> 00:18:15,998
Goose.
276
00:18:16,082 --> 00:18:18,123
Oh, Top Gun! You're Maverick!
277
00:18:18,207 --> 00:18:20,540
Is your ego writing checks
that your skills can't cash?
278
00:18:20,623 --> 00:18:21,707
- No.
- Yes.
279
00:18:22,373 --> 00:18:24,790
- Who are you?
- Darcy. Big fan.
280
00:18:24,873 --> 00:18:27,498
By the way, totally thought
you were gonna be a dude captain.
281
00:18:27,582 --> 00:18:29,498
But look at you, all not.
282
00:18:29,582 --> 00:18:32,790
If I exert my full powers,
I blow a crater in this planet.
283
00:18:32,873 --> 00:18:36,082
Taking down Kappa Kappa frat freak
won't be worth the fatalities.
284
00:18:36,165 --> 00:18:37,957
Ooh. What about South Dakota?
285
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,665
Or North Dakota?
286
00:18:39,748 --> 00:18:42,457
Uh... I need to get this.
287
00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:45,540
So, uh, do you need an intern?
Cat wrangler?
288
00:18:45,623 --> 00:18:47,790
Darcy, right now,
you're running at an eight,
289
00:18:47,873 --> 00:18:49,707
and I need you to take it down to a four.
290
00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:51,165
Okay?
291
00:18:51,248 --> 00:18:52,415
- Hello?
- Jane!
292
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,332
- Hey!
- When can I see you again?
293
00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:57,457
You're the nicest, prettiest
Midgardian woman I've ever met.
294
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,332
How many Earth women have you met?
295
00:18:59,415 --> 00:19:01,332
Uh, two. But the other one
hit me with a bridge
296
00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:03,040
and, well, that hurt more than my face.
297
00:19:05,457 --> 00:19:07,540
Thor, be honest with me.
298
00:19:07,623 --> 00:19:11,332
At your last party on Alpha Star,
did you really destroy that planet?
299
00:19:11,415 --> 00:19:14,373
No, no, it was more of a meteor anyway,
not a planet.
300
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:17,332
And it was burning apart,
so we just kinda helped it along and...
301
00:19:17,415 --> 00:19:18,540
So no one got hurt?
302
00:19:18,623 --> 00:19:19,974
- Of course not.
- Dr. Foster?
303
00:19:19,998 --> 00:19:22,248
Even the baby goat, Gary, got home safely.
304
00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:23,748
- Eventually.
- Dr. Foster.
305
00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:25,790
Uh, I gotta go. Love you. Oh.
306
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,498
I mean, bye.
307
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,207
What were we talking about?
308
00:19:30,290 --> 00:19:32,082
Look, all I'm saying is,
309
00:19:32,165 --> 00:19:34,748
no one would notice
if you blew up a Dakota.
310
00:19:34,832 --> 00:19:36,248
Honestly, I can't tell them apart.
311
00:19:36,332 --> 00:19:37,873
South Dakota is on the bottom.
312
00:19:37,957 --> 00:19:39,165
It's not a bad idea.
313
00:19:39,248 --> 00:19:41,040
The Mojave Desert could withstand the hit.
314
00:19:41,123 --> 00:19:43,748
Lure him to Siberia
and then go kaboom on his ass.
315
00:19:45,165 --> 00:19:47,998
You're not serious.
We're not gonna kaboom him.
316
00:19:48,082 --> 00:19:49,724
We're talking about the fate
of the planet.
317
00:19:49,748 --> 00:19:52,957
He's a lughead, sure, and far from
the brightest crayon in the box.
318
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:57,290
But this plan is way over the top,
and I refuse to let it happen.
319
00:19:57,373 --> 00:20:00,498
Thank you for your expertise, Dr. Foster,
320
00:20:00,582 --> 00:20:03,373
but your assistance is no longer required.
321
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:09,582
Damn! There goes my internship
with the Galactic Queen Bee.
322
00:20:09,665 --> 00:20:14,623
Well, look who came waddling back.
Mrs. the Duck.
323
00:20:14,707 --> 00:20:17,082
- Not now, Howard!
- Hello, Thor?
324
00:20:17,165 --> 00:20:18,974
- Who's this?
- It's Jane. Can you hear me?
325
00:20:18,998 --> 00:20:22,290
Wait. Is this the girl?
Thor's new sweet lady? Hello.
326
00:20:22,373 --> 00:20:23,415
Is Thor there?
327
00:20:23,498 --> 00:20:27,290
Late-night Chinese is the best.
Oh, I love food.
328
00:20:27,373 --> 00:20:30,248
Loki, get your blue butt over here.
You have to try these dumplings.
329
00:20:30,332 --> 00:20:33,498
Hey, Earth girl.
You haven't got a friend, have you?
330
00:20:33,582 --> 00:20:35,373
You know, we could double date.
331
00:20:35,457 --> 00:20:38,123
Ugh! Will you just put him on the phone?
332
00:20:38,207 --> 00:20:40,647
Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist.
He's right here... Oh!
333
00:20:44,207 --> 00:20:46,207
Oh. Right.
334
00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:47,457
Hello? Loki?
335
00:20:48,082 --> 00:20:51,165
Hey, hey. Watch the feathers.
336
00:20:51,248 --> 00:20:53,707
- Too bad we can't call his mom.
- What?
337
00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:54,915
That's what always happens.
338
00:20:54,998 --> 00:20:57,207
Teenagers throw a party,
it gets out of control...
339
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,207
- Oh, you really are a genius.
- Whoa.
340
00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:02,540
It's really starting to look that way,
isn't it? What'd I say?
341
00:21:02,623 --> 00:21:05,082
If there's a Thor and a Loki,
342
00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:09,582
then there must be an Odin
and a Frigga and a Heimdall!
343
00:21:09,665 --> 00:21:10,832
Uh, he-man-who-now?
344
00:21:15,748 --> 00:21:20,332
You know, I've got a crown too,
and we both like fire, right?
345
00:21:20,415 --> 00:21:22,623
Come on. Let's see you turn up
the heat on this thing.
346
00:21:22,707 --> 00:21:25,748
Uh... Ooh, look at the time.
347
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:33,457
How low can I go?
348
00:21:40,123 --> 00:21:42,998
Everyone! Watch me slide down
that pointy thing.
349
00:21:46,165 --> 00:21:47,165
And away!
350
00:21:49,457 --> 00:21:51,290
Whoo!
351
00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:06,998
This one goes here. Green in the thing.
Okay, sweet. Good to go.
352
00:22:07,082 --> 00:22:08,165
Selvig, thank you.
353
00:22:08,248 --> 00:22:11,373
Re-aligning the satellites,
magnifying the signal.
354
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,332
Heimdall!
355
00:22:17,373 --> 00:22:20,290
- It's not working.
- Okay, okay. My turn. I got this.
356
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:23,707
Would the owner of the navy blue Prius...
357
00:22:38,248 --> 00:22:41,748
Hi. So, uh, about Thor...
358
00:22:48,123 --> 00:22:51,082
Not cool. I actually felt that one.
359
00:22:56,873 --> 00:22:58,915
- We're in position.
- Arm the nukes.
360
00:22:58,998 --> 00:23:01,040
What? But I thought she was the nuke.
361
00:23:01,123 --> 00:23:03,165
Just in case she gets distracted by a cat.
362
00:23:05,207 --> 00:23:09,998
Uh... Hello, Mrs. Odinwife?
363
00:23:10,707 --> 00:23:12,457
Uh, is that Chardonnay?
364
00:23:12,540 --> 00:23:15,332
A varietal, yes. Can I help you?
365
00:23:15,415 --> 00:23:18,082
Why do you insist on crushing my mellow?
366
00:23:18,165 --> 00:23:20,582
Huh? Loosen up. Have fun. Smile a little.
367
00:23:21,832 --> 00:23:23,248
Ready to fire on your command.
368
00:23:23,332 --> 00:23:25,207
Fire in five...
369
00:23:25,290 --> 00:23:28,623
I gave you a warning.
Hell, I gave you a warning punch.
370
00:23:28,707 --> 00:23:31,373
- Four.
- It's Thor. He's in trouble.
371
00:23:33,373 --> 00:23:35,123
- Three.
- He's on Earth.
372
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:37,665
Two.
373
00:23:38,998 --> 00:23:40,915
- What about Captain Marvel?
- She'll be fine.
374
00:23:40,998 --> 00:23:42,498
One.
375
00:23:45,665 --> 00:23:50,707
Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard,
only son of Odin, what are you doing?
376
00:23:50,790 --> 00:23:52,123
- Mother!
- Mother?
377
00:23:52,207 --> 00:23:53,248
Mother?
378
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:54,665
What are you doing here?
379
00:23:54,748 --> 00:23:57,665
You must be using a lot of dark magic
just to check in on me.
380
00:23:57,748 --> 00:24:01,207
Ugh, I had a visitor.
She's worried about you.
381
00:24:01,290 --> 00:24:03,665
Wha... Jane sold me out?
382
00:24:03,748 --> 00:24:05,582
She said you were on Midgard.
383
00:24:05,665 --> 00:24:07,373
Well, she is mistaken.
384
00:24:07,457 --> 00:24:10,290
I'm obviously in my room, studying.
385
00:24:13,832 --> 00:24:17,415
Do not tell falsehoods to your mother.
386
00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:21,623
Oh, you mean Earth.
Sorry, I misunderstood.
387
00:24:21,707 --> 00:24:24,832
The locals call it that.
Yes, right. Sorry.
388
00:24:24,915 --> 00:24:26,457
Confused there for a moment.
389
00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:30,957
Me and my study group came down here
for a cultural exchange.
390
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,415
"Cultural exchange."
391
00:24:33,498 --> 00:24:35,748
You know us. We're warriors for knowledge.
392
00:24:35,832 --> 00:24:39,457
Hmm. Really?
Then this I have to see for myself.
393
00:24:39,540 --> 00:24:41,415
I'm cutting my trip short.
394
00:24:41,498 --> 00:24:42,790
You're coming here?
395
00:24:42,873 --> 00:24:48,498
And, my sweet son, I expect to see
your full syllabus when I arrive.
396
00:24:49,873 --> 00:24:51,248
Now or never, Hill.
397
00:24:51,873 --> 00:24:53,498
Stand down. We're done here.
398
00:24:53,582 --> 00:24:56,207
We never get to fire the nukes.
399
00:24:56,290 --> 00:24:57,998
I almost feel bad for you, Blondie.
400
00:24:58,082 --> 00:25:00,998
Please, you must help me.
My mother is coming.
401
00:25:01,082 --> 00:25:04,748
My suggestion? Start in the corners,
clean your way outward.
402
00:25:07,123 --> 00:25:08,207
Corners, corners...
403
00:25:08,290 --> 00:25:10,332
But it's a sphere.
404
00:25:11,290 --> 00:25:15,915
Ugh. Excuse me, ladies. I'm sorry,
but I must leave early. Again.
405
00:25:17,623 --> 00:25:19,998
Loki, my brother.
I require your assistance.
406
00:25:20,082 --> 00:25:22,332
Ah, one step ahead of you, Tiny Thunder.
407
00:25:22,415 --> 00:25:25,748
My bro's trying this thing in St. Louis.
Saint... Is it "Louie"?
408
00:25:25,832 --> 00:25:27,415
Anyway, we're about to make
409
00:25:27,498 --> 00:25:29,957
this universe's greatest slingshot.
410
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,082
Try to enjoy
the rest of your time here.
411
00:25:32,165 --> 00:25:34,748
See you in another thousand years.
Heimdall.
412
00:25:36,290 --> 00:25:40,248
No more slingshots. No more destruction.
We need to clean this mess up and go home.
413
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:43,707
Ugh! Now!
414
00:25:44,873 --> 00:25:47,998
Ha!
Nice one. Almost fell for it.
415
00:25:48,082 --> 00:25:50,915
I'm not joking. My mother is coming.
416
00:25:57,165 --> 00:25:58,165
Hmm.
417
00:25:58,248 --> 00:25:59,748
But she's not my mother.
418
00:25:59,832 --> 00:26:02,332
You know, I'm your brother
from another mother, remember?
419
00:26:02,415 --> 00:26:04,873
Come on, Ice Bros, let's go.
420
00:26:04,957 --> 00:26:06,790
Wait. You can't leave. Look at this place.
421
00:26:06,873 --> 00:26:09,373
We have a duty to this planet.
You need to clean it up.
422
00:26:09,457 --> 00:26:12,165
"Duty, clean"? Ugh, you sound like Odin.
423
00:26:12,248 --> 00:26:13,332
What?
424
00:26:13,415 --> 00:26:14,748
Ice Men, let's bounce.
425
00:26:18,415 --> 00:26:20,165
All right, listen, party's over.
426
00:26:20,248 --> 00:26:23,248
You don't have to go home,
but you can't stay.
427
00:26:23,332 --> 00:26:25,207
Wait, where you going? Come back.
428
00:26:25,290 --> 00:26:26,415
No, no, no, no, no.
429
00:26:26,498 --> 00:26:29,498
You do have to stay here,
and we need to clean up.
430
00:26:29,582 --> 00:26:31,790
Look who's pooping the party now.
431
00:26:31,873 --> 00:26:34,415
It is you! You are pooping the party.
432
00:26:34,498 --> 00:26:35,933
Where you going? Come back!
433
00:26:35,957 --> 00:26:38,248
Let's go, Topaz.
We shall ride like the wind.
434
00:26:38,332 --> 00:26:39,623
- Please! Wait.
- Loser.
435
00:26:39,707 --> 00:26:41,332
And we're keeping the scoot-scoots.
436
00:26:41,415 --> 00:26:44,665
Guys, please. Help, I...
You. How about you?
437
00:26:44,748 --> 00:26:47,998
Uh... I think I hear my dad calling.
Good luck.
438
00:26:53,332 --> 00:26:57,582
People. Beings.
Please, everyone, you must stay and help.
439
00:27:00,457 --> 00:27:02,998
Allfather, give me strength.
440
00:27:08,415 --> 00:27:10,373
You will listen to me.
441
00:27:12,332 --> 00:27:14,165
My mother is coming.
442
00:27:14,248 --> 00:27:18,040
- Frigga?
- And she is not happy.
443
00:27:18,123 --> 00:27:20,248
Like, at all.
444
00:27:20,332 --> 00:27:21,623
She's really mad.
445
00:27:38,165 --> 00:27:39,248
Yeah, baby.
446
00:28:02,207 --> 00:28:03,207
Thor.
447
00:28:05,290 --> 00:28:09,123
Oh, hello, Mother. Good to see you.
Welcome to our study group.
448
00:28:09,207 --> 00:28:11,040
Uh...
449
00:28:11,123 --> 00:28:13,040
Everyone say hello to Mother.
450
00:28:13,123 --> 00:28:14,748
Hello, Mother Frigga.
451
00:28:14,832 --> 00:28:17,540
And to end our studies,
what do we always say, class?
452
00:28:17,623 --> 00:28:19,540
Learning is magic.
453
00:28:20,832 --> 00:28:24,415
See? I told you I was on an educational
and cultural exchange.
454
00:28:24,498 --> 00:28:27,582
Did you know that Midgard
is the birthplace of the Snuggie?
455
00:28:29,915 --> 00:28:32,123
Mother, you doubt?
456
00:28:34,165 --> 00:28:36,415
But look at all this learning, huh?
457
00:28:43,665 --> 00:28:46,915
Thor, here's the information
you requested on human civilizations.
458
00:28:46,998 --> 00:28:50,915
And I loaded a few documentaries,
PBS specials, NPR podcasts.
459
00:28:50,998 --> 00:28:52,665
I'll call you next week to discuss it.
460
00:28:52,748 --> 00:28:58,332
So tiny yet contains so, so much.
Thank you.
461
00:28:58,415 --> 00:29:00,540
You must be Frigga. I'm Captain Marvel.
462
00:29:00,623 --> 00:29:05,332
I know who you are.
Thank you for helping educate my son.
463
00:29:05,415 --> 00:29:07,040
- Let's go, darling.
- Wait.
464
00:29:07,123 --> 00:29:09,207
Almost forgot.
465
00:29:12,332 --> 00:29:14,082
Uh...
466
00:29:14,165 --> 00:29:15,498
Mother, I can explain.
467
00:29:25,165 --> 00:29:26,832
- Hi.
- Thanks.
468
00:29:26,915 --> 00:29:28,540
You called my mother on me.
469
00:29:28,623 --> 00:29:30,207
That wasn't a cool thing to do,
470
00:29:30,290 --> 00:29:33,123
but it was the right thing. So, thank you.
471
00:29:34,707 --> 00:29:35,957
You're welcome.
472
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,457
I'll call you? Cools?
473
00:29:38,540 --> 00:29:40,498
No, it is not "cools."
474
00:29:40,582 --> 00:29:41,790
No?
475
00:29:41,873 --> 00:29:44,832
But I thought we had something.
I really like you, Jane.
476
00:29:44,915 --> 00:29:47,998
And not just because you're a genius.
You're also very attractive and...
477
00:29:48,582 --> 00:29:50,248
Well, then, ask me out on a date.
478
00:29:50,332 --> 00:29:51,748
Oh.
479
00:29:51,832 --> 00:29:55,665
Jane Foster, it would be my honor
to take you on a date.
480
00:29:55,748 --> 00:30:00,832
Before you answer, let me say that
I know a whole planet full of unicorns.
481
00:30:00,915 --> 00:30:02,582
Even the waiters are unicorns...
482
00:30:02,665 --> 00:30:05,457
- It's wonderful.
- Sounds delightful. Pick me up at 8:00?
483
00:30:16,373 --> 00:30:19,790
A world restored,
love blossoming.
484
00:30:19,873 --> 00:30:24,040
As children,
both human and Asgardian, say,
485
00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:27,957
together, they lived happily ever after.
486
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,040
Wait, what?
487
00:30:30,123 --> 00:30:31,123
Huh?
488
00:30:35,415 --> 00:30:39,748
Oh, dear.
Perhaps I spoke too soon.